Rapid Pulse (Violet Memory Book 1)

by Odette Michael

  I stared at her, trying to process that Gabriel could actually care about me and not my blood. I was also trying to deny what my intuition already knew—what I’d felt from him as I’d drunk his blood. There had been fear for my life, but was she telling me that his fear had already turned to feelings for me?

  “I do not understand,” I admitted. “Why me? I’m just a cheeseburger to someone like him.”

  She did not look amused. “Listen carefully, Kara, for I have no desire to be awake longer than necessary. Your story is not unique. In times of old, turning humans into vampires were to form new covens and to strengthen a coven’s numbers. There used to be wars between vampires. There were even wars between vampires and humans, but those days are nearly extinct. Now humans are turned out of revenge, or they are turned because some humans actually seek out the gift of being one with the eternal night. Many humans are turned because a vampire and a human fall in love, and the vampire doesn’t have the strength to watch that human grow old and die. So the human is changed, sometimes against their will. Do you know what an Eternal is?”

  My words were sandpaper in my throat. “Inola said Eternals are like soulmates, and they can make one another’s thirst go away completely, at least for a time.”

  Jasmina tapped her fingers against the stone floor. “This is what I wished to tell you, although I am sure the thought has crossed your mind. From what I have felt from Gabriel’s blood, the reality is you may very well be his Eternal, which means he is also your Eternal.”

  Shaking my head, I backed away, trying to push her words away from my mind. Lying. She was lying.

  Jasmina continued, her words emphasized and precise. “Gabriel’s biggest emotion on a daily basis is annoyance. If Elias is around, his annoyance turns into bitterness. For someone as apathetic as Gabriel, what I felt from him was too strong. Too soon. His thoughts were unconsciously consumed with you. He is terrified, and he is fighting against it, but this is something that cannot be fought for long.”

  I grew dizzy. My chest squeezed like a vice, and I nearly fell to my knees. I looked at her, pleading with my eyes for her to take back everything she had said.

  She sat back, crossing her legs. “You do not believe my words?”

  “I can’t,” I mouthed. “I hate him.”

  “Do you really?”

  Anger forced the pain in my chest away. I came closer to her, not even afraid because of the rage inside my veins. “Of course I do! What he’s done to me is something I will never forgive him for! I am his prisoner! His personal lunchbox!”

  She smiled, but her brilliant eyes stilled swirled with pain. Her hand never left her heart. “When I drank his blood earlier, did you feel betrayed? Did you feel like he was wronging you?”

  My breath came out in a wheeze. I backed away from her again, one hand over my throat. I shook my head, but I knew she could see the truth in my eyes.

  “Do not worry. A blood connection did not form between us because my mind was too deep in slumber. Fight it as long as you want, Kara. Or should I say, as long as you can. I am ancient enough to gauge when an Eternal pairing is happening. It is a somewhat rare occurrence and one that should not be taken lightly.”

  “But why me?” I nearly screamed. “Because I understand his loneliness? You all are vampires! Surely there are plenty of you who are lonely?”

  Jasmina suddenly looked very tired. She hunched over, as if weak from speaking. “Maybe you should ask him, not me. Kara, my Eternal and I founded this coven long, long ago. We are both older than I would like to say, older than you would even believe. Jaren grew tired of living and went into the coma sleep. He burned alive in the sun. Our love was not even enough to keep his will to live aflame.” She fingered a heavy locket around her neck that I hadn’t noticed before. I knew without asking what was inside.

  Tears dripped from her beautiful eyes. “I didn’t want to abandon my coven, my children. I am woken up for trails, for when advice is needed, and for when someone wishes to join us. But Jaren . . .”

  Her pain became almost tangible. “I’m sorry to keep you awake,” I whispered. “But what do I do? I can’t be around someone who has hurt me the way he has.”

  She shivered, rising and going back to the bed. She lay down, her eyes fragile gems. “Gabriel deserves happiness, and Elias will destroy it. Maybe it is best if you leave, although how I wish Gabriel could have peace. But your life in danger. Will he regret?” Her words became jumbled; she didn’t seem to realize I was even in the room anymore.

  “Jasmina?” I breathed. “Please, make Gabriel let me go! Please help me! I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to become a vampire!”

  When she didn’t respond, I gathered my courage and went to the bed. Her eyes were closed, and she was no longer breathing. She resembled a beautiful corpse, and I could barely hear her heart when I put my head near her chest. It thumped strongly, maybe three times in a minute, but she remained in her death-like slumber.

  “Jasmina!” I cried, shaking her.

  I thought about cutting myself and waking her with my blood, but the agony in those violet eyes were burned into my memory. I didn’t have the heart to wake her again.

  I slid to the floor, my back against the bed, suddenly tired even though I had woken not too long ago. Doubting I would ever become used to being nocturnal, I tried to fight against my heavy lids, reluctant to return upstairs. Reluctant to return to Gabriel.

  For some time, I drifted in the haze-like haven my mind offered me.

  There was a hesitant touch against my sleeve. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see glowing black instead of green.

  “Inola?” I mumbled.

  She smiled kindly. “Are you tired already? I could have Thomas make you some more coffee.”

  I stood up slowly. “No, thanks. I’m actually not supposed to have caffeine.”

  “Your heart?” she inquired, looking at my chest.

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you on any medication?”

  “No. I went to the doctor once, but no parents and a crappy job equals no health insurance.”

  Worry crossed her face. “I can take you to a doctor on the next cloudy day.”

  Embarrassed, I looked at the floor. “I’ll be ok. He said the tachycardia was purely stress related and would go away in time.”

  She didn’t look convinced.

  I gestured around, indicating the mansion and the comatose vampire. “I have bigger problems than just a fast heartbeat, Inola! Speaking of problems, where is he?”

  Inola’s eyes went to the ceiling. “He heard whatever was spoken between the two of you, as he was outside the door. No box fans down here, you know. He took off. So . . . I am not sure where he is.”

  I rubbed my eyes, my head aching because of the dim candlelight. “Maybe he won’t come back,” I murmured hopefully.

  She laughed a little. “Right. Anyway, want some lunch? Thomas is making some soup for you.”

  “It wasn’t that long ago that I ate.”

  Inola shrugged and unwrapped a peppermint she had fished out of her pocket. She popped it into her mouth. “Gabriel wants to make sure you’re fed properly. He does not want you to get hungry.”

  I said nothing.

  Inola’s eyes were soft. “Knowing you almost died because of him is difficult for him. His emotions are everywhere, manifesting too fast for him to process. Let him try to make up to you how he has wronged you.”

  “Why?” I asked venomously.

  The black eyes hardened slightly. “Because this is your life now, Kara. And Gabriel is a part of it. Nothing can change that now.”

  I walked away from her, anger quivering my entire body. “I feel like I have no choices.”

  She was soon beside me, her body moving silently. “The choices are there. When the time comes, you will be the one to decide. Trust me, child. And by that point, you may very well not wish to leave him.”

  Chapter 9 Silver

  “I hop
e you like Italian wedding soup!” Thomas said enthusiastically.

  I tried to glare at him as he set the bowl down in front of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it; he was too cheerful. I looked down at the bowl, and the words “Kara is awesome” were spelled out on top with alphabet pasta.

  I managed a small smile, and his blue eyes lit up brighter in response.

  “Thanks, Thomas,” I said quietly.

  “Do you need anything else?” he asked.

  I took a drink of water, shaking my head. The kitchen was large and well-stocked with updated appliances, and nearly everything was silver. Even the small table I sat at was silver. I sat near a window, and the heavy drapes were pulled back, revealing the forest and the night sky. I angled my chair away from the darkness.

  “Thomas?” I asked.

  “What can I do for you?” he replied, rinsing off a cutting board.

  “How do you all live out here without humans noticing? How far are we from Lystelle?”

  “Around an hour. This place is inside the middle of a one hundred acre forest. Control works wonders to keep humans away or to make them forget they were here. Control was used on the person who came and repaired the window you broke to make him calm and to make him forget he even came here in the first place. And if a wanderer comes too close, we use Control to make them leave. Well, either that or . . . Um, how’s the soup?”

  I squirmed uneasily. “I’m not sure I want to eat anything right now.”

  He put the cutting board down. “Forgive me, Kara. I spoke without thinking.”

  I painfully cracked my knuckles. “It’s not a surprise that a wandering hiker would get killed coming here. It’s just, that human I saw before . . .” I shuddered. “I can’t get it out of my head. And you seemed like you were uncomfortable as well.”

  He put his hands on the counter and leaned forward, his brow furrowed. “I am . . . conflicted on the subject. I understand the need, or the want, to kill. I am ashamed to admit I have killed before. It happened when I first turned, just to sate my inner hunter’s lust. But then the guilt set in, and I regretted it sorely. Most of the guilt I felt was from the fact that killing that person was a complete waste, for I had no need for the blood. I have Inola, my Eternal. Her blood sates my thirst completely. Many vampires do regret killing despite it being our nature. Many feel no remorse whatsoever, and there are some who refuse to kill at all. There are covens that even outlaw killing. Vampires are not black-and-white, and it is hard to explain to a human.” He looked at me, ashamed. “Please do not be alarmed of me. I have not killed since that one time.”

  I pushed the bowl away, trying to distract my rising fear and anger. “Then why can’t vampires just drink vampire blood, and leave the humans out of it?”

  “Because only the one you love can satisfy your thirst. Not everyone is in love, you know. Eternals can sate the thirst completely for a time, but those pairings are not too common. Any other time, blood drinking between vampires is not exactly for thirst purposes.”

  “Inola compared it to sex,” I said, my cheeks burning.

  “It is intimate like sex, yes. The drinking of blood between vampires is not something to be taken lightly. The blood connection strengthens faster and deeper when it’s between two vampires than when it’s between a vampire and a human. We are immortal, and to feel what someone else feels, to hear their thoughts, to know their memories and secrets . . . It’s serious stuff, and even though it can fade, the more it is done, the longer it takes. That’s the main reason why many vampires do not keep their prey long, at least when it comes to drinking their blood directly from the vein. It complicates things when you can feel a person’s emotions. Drinking from the vein tastes the best and is the most effective for satisfying thirst, by the way.”

  I kicked the leg of the table, the thumps like a metronome. When was Gabriel going to drink my blood again? I couldn’t stand it if the blood connection became stronger. If it came down to it and I had to swallow my pride, would he at least agree to drink my blood from a cup and not directly from me? If that was the only way to prevent our connection from deepening, could my stubborn nature even make the request?

  Where was he now? And why was I wondering where he was anyway?

  “Did you ever hate Inola?” I asked, my words barely audible.

  Thomas turned away from me. He was quiet for a long time before I saw him nod.

  He faced me, his eyes brighter than before. “Because I love her so much now, because of who she is to me, it is hard to imagine that I once hated her. But I remember, although it feels like my past emotions are a betrayal to her. I even tried to kill her, like you have with Gabriel. It took a year. An entire year of me fighting pride to allow forgiveness into my heart. And then there was my fear of knowing that my only true future with her was for me to become what she was.”

  I stopped kicking the table. “Did she force the change on you?”

  He shook his head. “She was content to let me stay human, but I asked her to change me. One day I went to sleep beside her. She could not bear to kill me herself even though she knew I would be like her when I awoke. She had Gabriel do it. He broke my neck while I slept. My blood was inside her body, and her blood was inside mine. When I woke up, everything was different. My emotions, my senses. Thirst.”

  “Did she find you like Gabriel found me?”

  “Much the same. Only eighty years ago, too. There is not much to tell of my human life. I worked in my father’s bank, was too much of a ladies’ man to settle down and marry, and my greatest pleasure was going home to the bottle. I lead a very shallow and carefree existence. And one night as I left a place that I shall not mention in your presence, I saw black, glowing eyes. I thought she was a fallen angel. Then there was pain, and I woke up here.”

  “And you don’t regret what happened?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  He sat down across from me. “Not anymore. When I look back on it, I can see things more clearly. I was poisoning myself daily with copious amounts of alcohol. Eventually, I would have married to please my father, and the marriage would have been unhappy due to my own liaisons. I do not mean to undermine a human’s existence, saying that a vampire’s is superior—that is not true. But in my case, vampirism and Inola saved me. I have stronger emotions as a vampire. I can look back and see how distastefully I treated my father, my co-workers, and my friends. I traveled the world with Inola, seeing sights I once never would have cared about. I discovered I love to cook, something I thought beneath me when human. And most importantly, I discovered myself. I discovered love and finally truly saw that span of time when I only cared about myself.”

  I brought the bowl back to me, processing his words as I stirred the soup with a spoon.

  Before Mom and Dad died, I’d had an average life. I’d had two best friends that had meant the world to me. I had volunteered at the Lystelle Animal Shelter almost every weekend, and all my cats and dogs were adopted from them. One day I’d hoped to own a shelter of my own, although that dream had faded somewhat because of Grandma. I’d been an average student at school, needing Miles’s help constantly when it had come to math. I’d been in cross country my first three years of high school. I’d stayed at Lila’s house more than my own during summers. I’d gone skydiving with Dad on my sixteenth birthday.

  My life had never been boring or meaningless. But then halfway into my senior year, reality crashed into the sea. Without even realizing it, I’d spent every day on autopilot. Wake, eat, school, sleep, repeat. Cook, clean, text, cry. Take care of Grandma, work, graduate.

  I pushed the bowl away again. “What’s the worst part? Of being a vampire, I mean.”

  His features were soft and patient, his words gentle. “Not seeing my family again. My father and my little brother. To them, I just disappeared. But not even saying goodbye . . . that was the worst part. I chose not to say goodbye. So concerned with my own situation, I didn’t give them a second thought until I was cha
nged. And then it was too late. They had already moved on with their lives, and I couldn’t bear to bring them unnecessary pain.”

  I bit my lip, fighting back tears. “I didn’t get to say goodbye.” And I had not, not really. Not the way I would have if I’d known I would never see my parents again. Instead, I’d been too busy whining about being left behind. Too busy being selfish.

  “You will see your friends and grandmother again,” Thomas said, mistaking my words. “Just give Gabriel some time.”

  “You truly believe he won’t kill me?” I asked incredulously. “I mean, he nearly succeeded.”

  Thomas interlocked his hands. “I do not think killing you was ever his intention, except for the first time he drank from you, but something held him back. You have not been here long, yet I have seen more emotion from Gabriel since you have arrived than all the years I have known him. And even though Inola and I are his friends, he never interacted with us much. Whenever he was with us, he was very quiet. He stayed in his room, or he roamed the woods. Sometimes he would take off for about a year and randomly return without even saying anything. He would just come up and hug Inola, pat my shoulder, and then go to his room.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I can never forgive him,” I confessed. “You must understand. You have to understand.” And I was desperate for him to understand me. I didn’t feel threatened in Thomas’s presence, and I needed an ally. A friend.

  “Of course I understand. You have every right to hate him, and I do not expect what happened with Inola and me to happen to you and him. I do not know your future, but Gabriel will be a part of it for the rest of your life—that I do know.”

  Anger surged through my veins. Red spots dotted the edges of my vision. “Inola said almost the same thing! Why?” I shouted at him.

  Thomas remained calm. “You may not see it or want to believe it, but the fact is Gabriel cares enough about you already that he wants you to stay alive. If he lets you go to try to make you happy, his claim on you ends. The scent of your blood is known to all here. If he lets you go, you will be in more danger than you are now. How could he trust that all the vampires here would respect his wishes that you are to remain unharmed without a claim? He would watch over you to make sure harm does not befall you.”