Rapid Pulse (Violet Memory Book 1)

by Odette Michael

I looked at Inola and nodded.

  “Come inside, child,” she said before her black eyes fell on my wrist. “Would you like that bandaged?”

  I pressed the holes harder. “They don’t hurt. Why don’t they hurt?”

  Inola toyed with her hair nervously. “You will not like the answer.”

  “Just tell me.”

  “All right. Well, when a vampire loves the one they bite, there is no pain.”

  I stared at her icily.

  She held up her hands. “I warned you.”

  I shouldered past her and went inside the kitchen, allowing the auto-pilot to take over. Thomas was there. He smiled at me as he chopped green onions. “Kara, do you like Korean food?”

  I shrugged before sitting down on a stool near him. “Never had any that I know of,” I replied.

  “I am preparing bulgogi for you. You will love it!”

  I nodded mechanically, tracing the puncture wounds gently. Inola glanced at me worriedly as she pulled a gallon of milk out of one of the fridges. “Care for a cappuccino, Kara? We have decaf.”

  “Sure.”

  I was a world away as they moved around the kitchen. My brain was trying not to think, but flashes bled inside. Mom and Dad. Grandma. The old man, his heart ripped from his chest. Lucy crying, her nightgown stained with blood. Elias drowning Gabriel.

  Gabriel. His pain.

  I sipped the cappuccino Inola put in front of me. I couldn’t even taste it.

  “So, what did you cook?”

  I turned to Thomas, trying to concentrate. “Huh?”

  He smiled patiently at me as he placed a rice cooker on the counter. “When you took care of your grandmother, what did you cook?”

  “Oh, um, only easy and fast things. Spaghetti and tacos. A lot of frozen pizza.”

  “Did you enjoy your time in the kitchen?” he asked.

  “Not really. It seemed like more of a chore.”

  “Would you like to try again? I can show you a few things.”

  “I guess,” I mumbled.

  Inola sat down on the stool beside me. “I was thinking of going clothes shopping tomorrow. There’s a stormy forecast. Want to come along? I am sure you would like some clothes of your own.”

  I felt my face go white as I turned to her. The two of them glanced at each other anxiously when tears filled my eyes.

  Inola reached out to touch my shoulder. “We will not let Elias hurt you,” she said softly.

  I shook my head. That was not what was wrong. Going and buying clothes was only further proof I was never going to get to go home. I missed my pets. I missed Grandma.

  For a moment, I even missed Gabriel.

  Horrified at myself, that was when the tears spilled over. I put my head down on the counter and cried.

  ***

  I looked at the clothes on the rack without seeing them. Inola stood near me, her glowing eyes concealed behind dark sunglasses. Thomas, Felicity, and Christopher were outside patrolling the area.

  To be safe, Thomas had driven to a town three hours away from Lystelle, and it had been an awkward car ride. Felicity had only agreed to come along because there was a particular shoe store in this town she wanted to visit, and I was starting to get the feeling that Christopher just wanted to be wherever Felicity was.

  Rain pelted the roof of the store, but every drop sounded like hail. Although my mind was my own right now, Gabriel’s sense of hearing had replaced mine for the time being. I was torn between fascination and trying not to scream while putting my hands over my ears.

  I could hear everything. Cars. People talking inside of the cars. People shifting in their seats inside of the freaking cars. People breathing. Their heartbeats. Some kid in the store next to this one was whining to his mom about wanting McDonalds.

  I pulled a random piece of clothing off the rack and handed it to Inola.

  Inola examined the shirt. “Sweetheart, I do not think you wear an extra-large.”

  I clenched my teeth. “I’m going to lose it.” Even my words were too loud.

  She studied me before reaching into her jeans pocket. “I should have recognized what was wrong sooner. Thomas used to get that same exact look. No worries, I came prepared.” She handed me an iPod. “This will drown out the noise. On the plus side, you are about to experience music in a way you never have before.”

  I eagerly grabbed for the device, turning it on and shoving the earbuds in as far as they would go. Then I sank to the floor, unable to care that other shoppers were looking at me as if I were crazy. So this was what music really sounded like. I was unable to close my mouth.

  I snapped out of the daze when my dull hearing returned fifteen minutes later. I pulled the earbuds out and stood up. “Who was playing that flute? It was absolutely gorgeous.”

  Inola smiled. “Gabriel.”

  I cringed. I was trying everything I could to not think about Gabriel; it was much harder than it should have been. I bit my lip, tugging on the long sleeves I was doomed to wear for the rest of my life. The stake gun was wrapped around my wrist, hidden underneath the sleeve. I had practiced a little with it before we’d left. It was simple enough to use. I had to aim and press a button, and a small stake would shoot out. Only three would fit inside, so I had to be careful if I ever needed to use it.

  “Inola, I feel guilty with you buying me all this stuff,” I said, trying to forget about Gabriel’s beautiful music.

  She picked up a scarf and assessed it. “Sweetheart, Gabriel is paying for all of this, not me. He has plenty of money from selling his paintings, so it is no big deal.”

  I smiled deviously. “We might need to go get another shopping cart, then.”

  She laughed. “Your little plan of buying out the store will not work, you know. It will not make him angry. He said to let you get as much as you wanted.”

  I seriously considered buying every single item in the store, but then I remembered my tantrum in the kitchen. I didn’t want Gabriel to think I had the mentality of a child.

  I flinched. Why did I care what he thought about me?

  “He is also the one paying for Grandma to stay at Baress Grove, isn’t he?” I mumbled.

  “Yes.”

  My fingers shook as I tucked the iPod into my pocket. And then I felt him. His mind, his heart, his essence. I turned away from Inola and practically shoved my face into the clothes rack.

  I’d only felt him once since he’d left, and it had been brief. I’d slept for a few hours in his room and had had a nightmare—bad dreams were common for me since Mom and Dad’s death. But his presence had been oddly soothing. Feeling him had been comforting enough to lull me back to sleep.

  I gripped a shirt as I repressed his mind, but echoes of him remained. He wanted to talk to me. He wanted to know how I was doing. He remained silent, but I could still feel what he wanted to say without words.

  He missed me. Automatically, I thought about waking up from my nightmare and how horrified I’d been at myself for missing him in those brief seconds.

  His shock flooded through me before melding into hesitant wonder. Then he was gone.

  I breathed in a sharp intake of air. How could I have allowed him to know that I’d missed him?

  “Kara?” Inola said softly.

  I glanced at her. “I’m all right. Let’s just get this done.”

  We finished after visiting a couple more stores. The only purchase I got that was extra was a black choker with a pink butterfly on it, to help hide the fang scars on my neck.

  Inola and I walked back toward the car under huge, black umbrellas. We walked by a small café, and it was more instinct than anything else that made me glance inside.

  I froze. Emma sat at one of the tables, casually twirling a butter knife between her perfect fingers. She wore sunglasses just like Inola and the others, yet I knew it was me she was looking at even before she smiled.

  “What’s wrong?” Inola asked, her body tensing. One of her hands was inside her raincoat, most li
kely closed around a stake.

  I made the mistake of looking away. “It’s Emma. She’s inside that café.”

  Inola looked through the window. “I do not see her. Are you—”

  “Do not ask me if I’m sure!” I shouted. “It wasn’t my imagination. She just smiled, but it was a threat, Inola. Don’t tell me it’s unlikely she would follow me or even team up with Elias.”

  Inola put her hand on my back and pushed me forward. “I’ll tell Thomas via telepathy to look around this area before we leave.” I could hear she was trying to remain calm for me, but her words had been too rushed for comfort.

  I couldn’t stop looking around until we got to the car. Inola practically pushed me inside before getting in herself. Felicity was already sitting in the front seat.

  “I thought you were patrolling with Christopher,” Inola said tersely.

  Felicity took off her sunglasses. “I was, but then I got bored.”

  Inola sighed, but Felicity just shrugged. “Shoes. I came here for shoes. I got them, and now I want to go home.”

  Thomas and Christopher slipped inside. “She’s not anywhere to be found, and of course, neither is Elias,” Thomas said.

  The black hole got a little deeper. Was this the rest of my life? Forever stalked, never knowing when Elias was going to strike? I put my hands over my stomach, trying not to be sick.

  Christopher glanced at me. “I think the human is hungry.”

  “Thomas, stop by a drive thru on the way home for Kara,” Inola said, her tone distracted.

  Felicity snorted. “She really is like a pet, isn’t she? Not only does she have to be walked everywhere, she even has a feeding schedule.”

  I tuned them out just as Thomas started protesting that he wouldn’t let me eat something as unsanitary as drive thru food.

  Gabriel. What would you do if I asked you to stop caring for me? Was that even possible? And shouldn’t I get away from you before whatever it is I felt for you intensified? Elias had said he would wait until I loved you.

  But I could never love you. And as long as I didn’t love you, I was safe.

  ***

  I had to stay busy, or I would go mad. There were too many things my mind couldn’t handle, like my guilt for the elderly man’s death and how I would never see my loved ones again. Then there were Elias’s memories I’d seen when inside Gabriel’s mind—those were particularly haunting.

  The next four weeks were oddly peaceful despite the fact that I slept during the day and was awake at night. The dark wasn’t so scary as long as I wasn’t alone, and I never was. I was always with either Thomas or Inola, and they were never overbearing. Inola slept on a couch in Gabriel’s room while I slept in his bed. I trained with Thomas every night it didn’t rain with the stakes, and he made me run laps around the mansion and yard to help increase my endurance, and it was an exercise I welcomed. I loved the sound of our feet hitting the ground and my heart beating wildly in my ears. I’d missed running; cross country was something I had given up to take care of Grandma.

  Thomas gave me cooking lessons. After a while, I actually started enjoying myself. Under his tutelage, I learned how to make homemade coconut shrimp, stuffed calamari, and sushi. I even baked a blueberry cheesecake without burning it.

  I also helped Inola in the greenhouse. I had my own plot of flowers going, but most of the time I just sat and listened to her sing. She sang beautifully in a language I didn’t understand, but I didn’t ask which language it was because of her painful past; I didn’t want to stir up hurtful memories.

  When I wasn’t in the kitchen or in the greenhouse, I poorly played the piano and listened to the iPod containing Gabriel’s music. I couldn’t deny his talent. He favored the flute, every note dripping with the emotions he had been unable to feel. I couldn’t listen for too long without feeling closer to him, something I did not want at all. His paintings also intrigued me, and I was able to identify his work whenever I walked through the mansion.

  Everything was ok . . . except for when Gabriel’s mind bled into mine. Even though I repressed him, the tension was growing. We never spoke directly, but our emotions were unmistakable. He missed me and wanted to come to me, and twice I missed him, but the thought was contaminated with bitterness. He wasn’t sleeping and was mentally exhausted, and I wasn’t sleeping well due to nightmares. He was thirsty and was drinking from blood banks after Controlling the workers for blood bags, but it was my blood he wanted. I was starting to empathize with his pain, and that prompted even more bitterness.

  As the days went by, I grew agitated, and not only because he hadn’t found Elias. I was agitated because of the inevitable reunion that was approaching and what I knew I had to do when it came. I had been extremely careful to not think about the stake I’d stashed underneath the mattress—the stake Thomas had forgotten to pick up my first night of training.

  I knew Inola would probably kill me after the deed was done, but I had made myself a promise. I would kill Gabriel. And even if Inola didn’t kill me, Elias would eventually find out and come and do it for her just for ruining his revenge. And if Elias didn’t do it, then Emma would.

  Killing Gabriel would result in my death as well. I knew this. I had accepted this.

  I knew Gabriel was coming home when Inola didn’t come with me to Gabriel’s room when it was time for bed. Also, the last time our minds had touched, he had been angry, tired, and unable to take the distance between us anymore.

  I showered, turned the box fan on, and climbed into bed. I grabbed the stake from beneath the mattress and placed it underneath the pillow, my shaking fingers gripping it tight.

  My heart raced at a ridiculous pace. It took several minutes to get my breathing slow and sleep-like. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t do anything but grip the piece of wood, tighter and tighter, until I thought my bones would snap.

  I didn’t hear him come in, but I did hear him go into the bathroom. I concentrated on breathing slowly while he showered, praying the blood connection wouldn’t make us touch minds again.

  Eventually, the bathroom door opened, the hinges creaking over the sound of the fan.

  Where was he? Was he coming to the bed? Gabriel sleeping beside me was not something I had anticipated. The thought made my throat go completely dry.

  I thought I felt his eyes on me, and I nearly jumped when he brushed a curl away from my face. My pulse faltered; he had to have heard it.

  Would my heart always give me away when it came to him?

  He didn’t lay down beside me. I waited for ten minutes, then barely opened one eye. He was on the couch, his eyes closed.

  I swallowed fear. As far as I knew, he always used the type of sleep around me where he was still conscious of his surroundings. Could I even be quiet enough to at least get close to him?

  I owed it to myself to try. I waited for an hour, and it was the longest hour of my life.

  I crawled out of bed. Every step I took was miserable and agonizing. Step, breathe. Step, breathe.

  Finally, I stood over him. His face was beautiful and perfect, cold and pale. His damp hair nearly covered his closed eyes. He was completely still except for the movement of his chest.

  I tightened my fingers around the stake. Brought it down near his chest.

  I hesitated, and his eyes snapped open.

  Chapter 13 Broken Heart

  I stared into green fire, my body frozen.

  Gabriel wrapped his hand gently around my fingers and brought the stake toward his heart.

  “Do it,” he whispered.

  Tears inexplicably filled my eyes. “What?” I breathed.

  His grip tightened. “Kill me. No one has more right than you. If it will erase the wrongs I have committed against you, then I want nothing more than to die by your hand.”

  Shock tore through me. My hand trembled beneath his as he pressed the stake against his black T-shirt. I couldn’t make my muscles move. Minutes passed, and then the tears fell. I sank to my knees.
>
  “I can’t.”

  Gabriel sat up, one leg on each side of me. His other hand went to my cheek, and he caressed it before making me look at him.

  “Why not?”

  I shook my head. “I-I don’t know.”

  His eyes were searing. “Do I have to make you?”

  I yanked my hand away from his, and the stake dropped to the floor. “You’ll Control me to kill you?” I asked, horrified.

  He leaned in closer to me, and I was too paralyzed by his presence to move.

  “No. There are other ways to get you to do it.”

  His lips touched mine. Hesitant at first, and then the kiss became hungry. Our mouths melded together perfectly, as if made for one another. Both of his hands held my face as our lips moved, my mouth opening willingly beneath his. It wasn’t until I reached for him that I fully realized I was kissing him back.

  I pulled away, backing up on the floor and staring up at him, stunned.

  What had I just done? What was happening to me?

  Gabriel was breathing hard, his fingers digging into the couch. “I didn’t expect you to actually kiss me back.”

  “Me either,” I stuttered, my face burning.

  His fangs sprang from his gums. “There’s still another way.”

  Before I could even move, Gabriel was on top of me, pinning me down. I gasped when I felt his fangs against my neck. I waited for him to bite me, but he didn’t. Instead, he carefully ran his lips against the pulse fluttering at my throat.

  “Gabriel, I’m scared.”

  He pulled back and studied me, his fangs disappearing. My tears were on his face.

  “You understand, don’t you?” I asked. “I’m not just scared of you drinking my blood. I’m scared of what I feel. I’m scared of giving in to these feelings. If I do, it opens up the way for Elias to fulfill his revenge. I’m scared for Grandma and for my friends. I’m scared of you changing me into what you are.”

  He ran his hands through my curls, tangling his fingers around the tendrils. “Kara . . .”

  “And I know you are sorry for hurting me, which I will never forgive you for, just so you know. But you’re not sorry enough, are you? I’ve felt it. You can’t bring yourself to regret meeting me. You can’t bring yourself to regret taking me away. All these years, you haven’t felt much besides loneliness, hatred for Elias and for yourself, and you miss Lucy. So you tried to feel something besides that. You tried with Emma. You tried by killing people. You tried by starving yourself. The night you took me, before you attacked me, you were contemplating on staying out until the sun came up. You were going to do it. You were desperate to escape a life you didn’t want anymore. But then—”