I handed the bottle of white wine to Thomas. He poured the liquid into a pan, winking at me. “Of course I don’t mind spending the next sixty or so years of my life following you around like some freakish stalker. It’ll be just a grand time, Red.”
We waited for Gabriel to come to dinner, but he never did. I ate the cold pasta, unable to keep up with the conversation Thomas was having by himself, since Inola stayed quiet as well.
When it was time for bed, I couldn’t sleep until Gabriel came to the room. He closed the door softly, glanced at me, and went straight to the couch, ignoring me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He slung his arm across his eyes. “Nothing. Jasmina has agreed to extend the claim, although she thinks it’s unnecessary. No one would go out of their way to harm you now. You’ve been here long enough, and most have gotten used to your scent without being too tempted. Also, it’s common knowledge around here that we are most likely Eternals. Nobody wants to get in the middle of that.”
“Oh,” I said quietly, squirming uneasily.
“Tomorrow I’ll talk to as many members as I can and ask if they will continue to help me search for Elias, and also to keep an eye out for Emma. I know many of them will, although when it comes to Emma, no one can harm her. They can only question her or keep her in their sights. Technically, she has done nothing wrong. Some of the members have already even agreed to help guard you, but I am hesitant. I only trust Inola and Thomas when it comes to your life.”
“Can I do anything?” I asked.
He sighed tiredly. “Pack your things. Keep training with Thomas. Don’t bleed.”
I cracked a small smile. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”
Once again I was free of nightmares, but there were dreams this time. The blood connection happened as we slept. I could tell which ones were Gabriel’s—they were so much more vivid, and they wavered at the edges, as if he were seconds from waking. He dreamed of Lucy and of a painted field where I played with my pets. I dreamed about my parents and the color green.
I only saw him once the next night. After washing the dirt off from the greenhouse, I went to the piano and began my sorry attempt at playing.
Gabriel walked in, putting a bag by the bed. “These are for you. There are enough stakes in there for you to start your own vampire hunting club.” He came up behind me and watched me for a few minutes before gently putting his fingers over mine.
“Like this,” he murmured.
I swallowed uneasily, allowing him to guide my fingers. Butterflies danced in my stomach. Then our minds connected, and I got blasted by a fistful of his memories. His memories of being with Emma.
I jerked away from him. “Ok, disgusting. I did not want to see that!”
He ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry.”
I stared daggers at him. “Why did I get to see that out of everything? Have you been thinking about her?”
He looked at me quizzically. “In a sense. I have been talking about her all day to everyone. I told you that yesterday.”
I blushed and turned away.
“Kara, neither one of us can always control what we see or when we see it. You know that.”
“Whatever. I don’t care. I just don’t want to watch people have sex, ok? It’s not my thing,” I scoffed.
“I am sorry. It was not intentional.”
I cracked my knuckles. “Just great. This means you get to possibly see my sex memory,” I mumbled without thinking.
The air around us went still. I could feel his eyes on me.
I wanted to slap myself. Instead, I began playing again. “Did you assume I was a virgin?”
“I assumed nothing.”
“Well, it was only one time. And I’ve never even been in a romantic relationship, unless you count one high school crush that lasted four awkward months, so I guess that makes me a whore.”
I turned around and looked up at him when he laughed softly.
“I do not believe that making love one time makes you a whore, Kara.”
I crossed my legs. “I would hardly call it ‘making love’. It was the one and only time I got drunk. Lila’s parents were out of town our summer before senior year, and Miles and I were staying at her house one night. We were such idiots, drinking as much as we did. Lila passed out in her room, and Miles and I were downstairs watching some movie I can’t even remember. A sex scene came on, and we started talking about how everyone was losing their virginity. Somehow, in our drunken logic, we assumed it was better to get it over with, and do it at least with someone we trusted. It lasted for like two minutes, and Miles threw up beside me during it before passing out on the floor.”
Gabriel covered his mouth with his hand, but his shoulders still shook with laughter.
I giggled, nodding. “It’s ok. Go ahead and laugh.”
He uncovered his mouth, smiling and chuckling. “I have to admit, that kind of sounds like you. Last second, not really thinking it through.”
My laughter faded. “Yeah, and I regret it. Lila always had a thing for Miles, but he always liked me. And I never liked him like that. It was a mess, but we remained close nonetheless. We never had the heart to tell Lila. In the end, what started driving us apart was my own coldness.” I pulled at my sleeve.
Gabriel sat down beside me. “I’m sorry. Because of me, you have decided to keep them out of your life when you return home.”
“Yeah, but they’re both leaving the state for college. Heck, Lila’s leaving the country. That’s good, I suppose. The farther away from me, the better. I couldn’t live with myself if Elias killed anyone else to get to you or me.” I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around my knees. “You know, I used to think the three of us were going to be inseparable forever. Then one day, Mom told me friends were one of life’s greatest blessings, but you couldn’t expect even your friends to rearrange their entire lives just to accommodate what you want. I was too young at the time to understand what she meant, but I think I understand now. Nothing lasts forever, that’s why we have to cherish every single moment we have.”
His eyes were flames. “Some things last forever, Kara.”
He got up and left, his body making no sound as he walked. I put my head down against my knees and closed my eyes, trying not to think.
***
Three days later, Inola’s Mercedes pulled up in front of my home. I looked out the windows at the house, frozen at the sight. I’d thought I would never get to see home again.
I opened the door and eagerly ran to the porch. Gabriel followed behind me, carrying my bags and suitcases that held my new clothes. The faintest red of the dawning sun brushed the sky.
I turned to him as he set the luggage down, suddenly feeling very cold.
Gabriel looked ill—there was no other way to describe it. His eyes were dilated, the pupils completely swallowing the green. His was extremely pale, even for a vampire, and his every movement was stone-like.
He cleared his throat. “We dismissed your pet sitter yesterday. Your grandmother is being moved to a new place and is doing well. Only Inola and Thomas know where, just as a precaution. Both of them will be in touch. They’ll check on you often and give you any updates.” He held a cell phone out to me. “Here. Our cell numbers are already in the contacts. If you need absolutely anything at all, I know you won’t . . . want to speak to me . . . but call them. For anything.”
I nodded and put the phone in my pocket. My fingers shook.
“Also, take this,” he said, handing me an envelope.
I opened it and looked inside, gasping.
“Gabriel, I don’t want this,” I said, handing it back to him.
He shook his head. “I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness, Kara. Think rationally. You are going to college soon. A job at a clothing store is not going to pay your bills. I can supply you with money at least until you graduate or until you get a job that will support you comfortably. I know you don’t want it, but it’s temporary, all right?
I’m doing this because I want to, because I can, and so you can concentrate on the future you want instead of worrying about money and debt.”
My pride wanted to give the envelope back. My common sense made me put it inside one of the bags.
I looked up at the sky. “The sun is going to rise soon, and there aren’t many clouds,” I pointed out gently.
He moved toward me until mere inches separated us. “I know. But wasn’t there something you wanted before I left?”
I nodded. He slowly moved his hands to my shoulders. Glowing, black fire bore into my eyes.
“Kara, you can no longer feel our blood connection.”
Something inside my head snapped, and a sharp rush of pain too potent to be my imagination vibrated my bones. I shuddered at the strange sensation. Tears burned my eyes, and I wasn’t sure why.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
His fingers tightened on me slightly. “Before we part ways, I have to tell you something. I know you already know, but I need to say it.”
My breathing sped up. “Gabriel . . .”
His hands moved to my face. “Kara, I love you. More than anything, I love you. I love every single thing about you. Your courage, your fire, your beauty, your stubbornness. You have wholly changed me. You have replaced what was once my heart, and I am eternally grateful to you for it. You saved me from the world of nothingness and hatred I was drowning in. And I am sorry.” His eyes filled with tears. “I am so sorry for everything I have ever done to you. I know I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness, but I just . . . I just need you to know how sorry I am. I need you to know that you are the brightest light in the darkness.”
I trembled in his arms.
“May I ask you for one last selfish thing?”
I nodded. Fight the tears. Fight the pain. Fight the weakness that wanted him to stay.
“Can I kiss you one last time?”
That nearly broke me. He could have asked for my blood, an act that meant so much more to him. Instead, he was asking for the human equivalent.
“Yes,” I whispered.
His mouth came down and carefully caressed mine. He held me tightly, as if he never wanted to let me go. I breathed in the scent of him, his lips feather-light as they moved against mine. The kiss transformed from gentle to desperate, and I found myself backed up against the front door, his body pressing against every inch of me.
Then I was holding air. The car sped away.
I sank to the ground, my hands over my heart. My tears finally fell, mixing with the ones already on my face. His tears that had fallen as we’d kissed.
Chapter 15 Follow The Trail Of Red
Three Months Later
The sky was cloudy, and that always made me nervous. I knew thick, gray skies made it easier for the friendly vampires—as I had come to call them—to watch me, but that meant it also made it easier for Elias to stalk me.
He had only been spotted once so far. One of Violet Memory’s vampires, a woman named June, had been killed during the encounter. Looking for Elias had been a hindrance before; now the coven was angry.
I stopped jogging and leaned against a nearby building, wiping sweat from my face. I had been running through Lystelle for two hours now. Training was the most important activity to me these days, and it was all I wanted to do. I needed to be ready in case Elias slipped through the cracks. Every day I ran at least four miles. When I was at home, I practiced with the stakes and beat the crap out of the punching bag I’d bought.
I adjusted the stake gun hidden beneath my sleeve before patting my jacket where I kept a regular stake strapped inside. I knew having these should have made me feel safer, but they only served as a reminder that I was not really free.
I was back working with Candice, and she had lectured me for hours about my disappearance. My hiking story had probably seemed full of holes, but she’d seemed more relieved than anything that I was safe. I’d explained I’d broken my phone and tried to contact Lila with a borrowed one, but I had lost service. I’d given the excuse that I’d become tired of the trail, and that was why I’d come home. I’d apologized a thousand times for disappearing.
She had been too stressed with her own life to question too much, even when I’d told her Grandma’s medical insurance had changed, my excuse for how I could afford to send her to a nice retirement home.
Lila was already gone. Miles had been a little harder, as he had not left yet.
He had seen me jogging one day. And when I’d deliberately turned my back and run home, he had understandably showed up at my place and tried to talk to me. Nancy had already told him about my excuse, but he’d wanted to hear it from me.
After I’d finished my rehearsed lie, Miles had claimed he didn’t know who I was anymore. I hadn’t disagreed, as that made two of us. He’d nagged me about giving him my new cell number, but I never answered his calls or texts. I never answered Lila either, as he had given her my new number.
And it hurt. It absolutely broke my heart, but I knew it was better for them in the long run. If I had to be a terrible person to keep them safe, I could live with that.
The worst part of everything was not what I’d originally expected; nothing I did seemed to keep my mind off of Gabriel. I was taking core classes at Lystelle University, and between school, work, and training, those green eyes were still always in the back of my mind.
It didn’t help I knew he was there. He was there, but I couldn’t see him. I was starting to lose count of the times I had scrolled to his contact number and just stared at his name, fighting the urge to press the call button.
I couldn’t feel him anymore, but he could still feel me. Could he feel me in this moment?
I jerked away from the wall and began the jog home. Dusk was falling, and I tried to never be outside during nighttime.
When I approached my house, I breathed easier. The kitchen light flicked two times, the signal to not be alarmed about the visitor waiting inside. I smiled as I opened the door, always glad to see them. I was becoming lonelier and lonelier, and Thomas and Inola were my last link to . . . him.
Thomas was crouched on the kitchen floor, rubbing Tassy’s belly. “You are a fat boy, yes you are. Who’s a big fat boy? Huh? Huh?”
I rolled my eyes, kicking the door shut behind me. “He’s fat because you won’t stop feeding him my leftovers.”
Tassy got up and ran to me, along with my husky, Everest, and my golden retriever, Clover. My cats looked at me sleepily from the top of the kitchen table. I kissed my dogs’ noses before going to hug Thomas.
He squeezed me to his cold body and sighed, letting me go and walking to the refrigerator. “I wouldn’t have to feed him your leftovers if you ate the food I brought you.” He opened the door and rummaged around inside. “You could build a fortress with all of this Tupperware. Seriously, is this last week’s prosciutto manicotti? And the stuffed pork loin from the week before? Oh, my beautiful masterpieces are all going to waste. . . .”
I reached around him and grabbed a water bottle. “You bring me more food than I can possibly eat. Besides, I can cook for myself. You don’t need to keep bringing stuff.”
“You know what you will eat if I don’t bring you food?” He opened the freezer and pointed at the boxes of frozen pizzas inside. “That. That is what you will eat. Have you ever read the ingredients? That’s not real food!”
I drank some water. “I’m just not hungry lately.”
His eyes ran over my body, and his face turned serious. “Yeah, and it shows. You’ve lost more weight again. With the way you’ve been exercising, you could eat ten Big Macs a day and not gain an ounce. You’re starting to worry us.”
I didn’t miss the implication. It wasn’t just Inola and Thomas who were worried—Gabriel was worried as well.
I went into the living room and stood in front of the fish tank, pouring fish food inside as nonchalantly as possible.
“Red?” Thomas pressed.
“I’m fine.”
“Really?” he asked.
I smiled. “Super-duper fine.”
“Then why did Inola hear you crying in bed again last night? This wasn’t your nightmare crying. That comes later. Every night for the past month you cry before you even go to sleep.”
The smile faded from my face. Thomas went to the entertainment center and picked up a green candle. “And yet another pine needle candle. This whole place reeks of pine needles.”
I went over and grabbed it from him. “Leave it alone, Thomas.”
His eyes gleamed brighter than usual. “I’m just making observations.”
“It’s not . . . I don’t . . . look, I’m just trying to live as much of a normal life as possible, ok? Yes, I have lost my friends, and I can’t see my last living family member ever again. But I have you, Inola, and my pets. Besides, I don’t mind being the crazy cat lady at only eighteen. It’s not so bad. Not at all. I might even meet someone, you know. Like a boyfriend someone.”
“You trying to convince me or yourself? If you’re counting that guy in your math class who gave you a cupcake at the university courtyard, he must want to date multiple people; he handed out cupcakes to everyone in sight. Besides, you didn’t even eat it. You hate lemon desserts.”
I stared at him silently.
“There have been no sightings of Elias, by the way.”
“Figures,” I mumbled.
He leaned down and peeked inside the cage where I kept my guinea pigs, Panini and Dandelion.
“I think Panini is dead,” he remarked. “Wait, hold on.” Thomas bared his fangs and growled, grabbing the cage. Panini opened his eyes and scampered toward Dandelion. They huddled together, shaking.
“Thomas, leave them alone!”
He snickered, standing up. “Sorry. Primal instincts took over. I’ll see you later.”
“Wait,” I said when he got to the front door.
“Yeah?”
My heart thudded unevenly. “Is he . . . is he doing ok?”
Sadness colored his sparkling eyes. “No. No, he is not ok.”
Ice pricked my heart. “But he hasn’t hurt anyone, right? He’s still using blood bags?”
Rapid Pulse (Violet Memory Book 1) Page 16