by Marie Force
“No.” He took his lips on a trip to her inner thigh. “I’m very uncomfortable, and you’re the only one who can fix it.”
Her giggle turned to a gasp. “Ry...”
“Hmmm?”
“Oh, God,” she moaned when he nudged her legs apart. She had forgotten what it was like to make love with Ryan—the all-consuming passion, the endless pleasure. Or maybe she hadn’t really forgotten but rather locked the memories away somewhere deep inside where they couldn’t be easily found as she built a life without him.
He teased her with his tongue, dragging it on a sensuous trail over one inner thigh and then the other.
Susannah’s legs quivered, so he rested them on his broad shoulders.
“What do you want?” he whispered against her thigh.
The feel of his soft lips against her skin made her crazy. “You.”
“Where?”
She lifted her hips. “You know.”
He kissed his way closer. So close...“No, I don’t. You have to tell me.”
She had also forgotten the way he liked to talk to her when they made love and how much he enjoyed getting her to say things she would never say any other time.
Nuzzling at her core, he said, “You can’t have it until you tell me you want it.”
“I want your tongue,” she whispered.
“Where?”
Her face burned with embarrassment, but desire burned brighter. “In me. On me. Everywhere.”
“We’ll get to that.” He ran his finger over her slickness. “Oh, you’re so wet, Susie. So hot.”
Susannah shuddered, and her gasp sounded more like a sob by the time it broke free of the lump in her throat. She cried out when he slid two fingers deep into her. “Ryan!”
“Tell me.”
Feeling like she was outside of herself watching someone else, she let her legs fall open in surrender. “Move them,” she whispered.
He kept his fingers torturously still. “How?”
At any other time, Susannah would have died of embarrassment. Right now, she cared only about the throbbing tension between her legs. “In and out.”
His fingers twisted, ever so slightly. “Fast or slow?”
“Fast,” she panted, raising her hips to beg for more. “Fast.”
“When we were apart, I dreamed about this,” he whispered against her thigh as his fingers moved in and out of her. “I dreamed about how wet you always got for me and how you smell.” Keeping up the steady movement of his fingers, he burrowed his nose into the soft blond hair on her mound and took deep breaths. “And how you taste...so, so sweet.” He replaced his fingers with his tongue.
She came instantly, crying out as she pushed against the gentle but insistent thrusts of his determined tongue. When she would have retreated into recovery, he wouldn’t let her.
“Do it again,” he whispered, his breath hot against her sensitized skin.
“I can’t,” she whimpered.
“Yes, you can.” Clutching her bottom in the palms of his big hands, he held her in place and set out to prove her wrong.
“Ryan!” she cried the instant a second orgasm, this one even more powerful than the first, sent her flying. Trembling and weak, she floated as the aftershocks rippled through her.
He lowered her legs from his shoulders and entered her with a swift thrust of his hips that brought her soundly back to earth.
She gasped and struggled to accommodate his width and length.
For a long, breathless moment he was still. “Susie,” he whispered in her ear. “How have I lived without you, without this, for more than a year?”
With her hands on his face and tears in her eyes, she brought him to her for a deep, soulful kiss as he began to move. When she sensed his injuries were bothering him, she carefully eased him onto his back and straddled him. Bringing the blankets up and around them, she teased him by refusing to grant him entry.
Growling, he held her hips still and surged up and into her. Once he was back where he wanted to be, he reached up to comb his fingers through her hair. “I love you, Susie. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
“Do you? Do you really?”
She nodded, tossed her head back, and rode him with abandon, steeped in the thrilling sensation of being filled by him, consumed by him.
He cupped her breasts and ran his thumbs over her nipples, lifting her into yet another climax. “Ryan,” she panted, looking down at him with eyes that she was certain were glassy with passion and what might have been shock—that it was still possible to feel this much...so much...even more than before.
“Susie,” he moaned. “God, don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”
She leaned back, took him deeper, took him all the way.
“This reminds me of the first night we ever spent together,” Ryan said much later as they lay facing each other. “Do you remember?”
“Of course I do. We were in that fleabag apartment you rented off campus.”
“There were no fleas,” he said with indignation.
She laughed at the face he made. “I was expecting something pretty fabulous, since you were supposedly this big star.”
“I was a big star and the apartment was fabulous. At least it was until we moved in. I remember clearing the other guys out and scrambling to clean the place up before you got there. I’d spent months trying to get you into bed, and I didn’t want anything to mess it up. Of course I didn’t expect the bed to break...”
Susannah laughed until she cried at the memory. “As I recall, it didn’t slow us down any.”
“Just like the cold hasn’t slowed us down tonight.”
She turned her face into the pillow. “Stop.”
“You’d think we were out to beat our own record.”
“Ryan...”
He laughed at her discomfort. “Is it just me or is what was always amazing now extraordinary?”
“It’s not just you,” she said softly.
“Maybe it’s because we appreciate each other more after being apart for so long.”
“That’s not it. Although that might be part of it.”
He reached out to twirl a lock of her hair around his finger. “Then what is it?”
“It’s what I tried to tell you was missing before. The way we talked today, about stuff that really matters...It’s made me feel connected to you in here,” she said with her hand over her heart.
“I get it now, Susie. I really do. I know what I had, what I lost, how I felt without it.” He brought her hand to his lips. “Do you know I still look for you in the stadium where you always used to sit? Whenever we scored this season, I’d look for you, wanting to share it with you. It was like losing you all over again every time I looked for you and you weren’t there.”
Overwhelmed by him, Susannah fought the urge to cry.
“So many times over the last year I wanted to call you,” he continued. “Especially when...”
She studied his face, which was suddenly tight with tension. “What is it?”
He sighed. “I heard from my father.”
“What?” she gasped. “When?”
“About six months ago.”
“But, what, I mean...What did he say?”
“That he’d followed my career, that he wanted to see me.” He shrugged. “Nothing much.”
“So what happened? Did you see him?”
Ryan nodded. “He came to a game, and we went out to dinner after.”
“How did you even know it was him?” Susannah asked, hanging on his every word.
“I look just like him,” Ryan said with an ironic chuckle. “It’s unreal. He’s an older version of me.”
“Wow, that must’ve been so weird. How did you feel when he just called you out of the blue like that?”
“Stunned,” he confessed. “I wanted so badly to talk to you about it. I didn’t know what to do.”
“I wish I’d been there with you. All those years you wondered ab
out him...”
“I wish you’d been there, too, especially when I found out what he really wanted.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask...”
“Money, of course.”
“Oh, Ry,” she sighed as her eyes filled. “What’d you do?”
“Gave it to him. What else was I supposed to do?”
She clutched his hand. “I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged, but the hurt was written on his face. “I was stupid. I got my hopes up. Since my mother died and you and I broke up, I’ve been kind of short on family. But I should’ve known better than to pin any hopes on him.”
“He’s not a father,” Susannah said fiercely. “He’s a sperm donor.”
Ryan smiled. “I guess I sort of suspected what might happen. That’s why—”
The lights flickered back on, startling them.
When he began to get up to turn them off, Susannah stopped him. “What were you going to say?”
“Just that I had a hunch about how it might turn out. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone he had called. Not even Bernie.”
“Did you find out where he’s been all these years?”
“In California. He’s remarried. He didn’t even know my mother had died.”
“Does he have other kids?”
Ryan nodded. “Three of them.”
Susannah studied him as she absorbed it all. “You have siblings.”
“Yeah. I’m not really sure what to do about that. I go back and forth about contacting them. They can’t help who their father is any more than I can.”
“Why did he ask you for money?”
“Apparently he’s gotten into some trouble with gambling.”
“How much did you give him?”
“Half a million.”
“Ryan! Oh my God!”
“Yes, I know it’s outrageous,” he said, chagrinned. “But by the time he told me how much he needed, I just wanted to be rid of him.”
Susannah held out her arms to him.
He slid into her embrace with a deep sigh of relief. “He looked like a grown up, Susie, nothing like those old pictures I have of him. But he’s still the same guy who left his wife and two-year-old son and never looked back.”
“It’s a good thing I wasn’t there.” She was furious with a man she had never met. “He wouldn’t have gotten a dime out of you if I had been.”
“I know,” Ryan said with a chuckle. “I thought the same thing at the time. After I gave him the check, I drove over to the house. I sat outside for an hour trying to work up the nerve to call you or knock on the door or something. I just wanted you so badly.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry he hurt you and that I wasn’t there for you. I would’ve punched the snot out of him.”
He laughed, but his eyes were bright with emotion. “I love when my little debutante talks like a truck driver.”
“I’m serious. I would’ve hurt him.”
“I have no doubt.” He wiped the tears from her face. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For listening and for being so mad on my behalf. I was pretty numb for a while after it happened.”
“And you were all alone.”
He shrugged. “I feel better now that you know about it.” He kissed her cheek. “You must be getting tired, baby.”
She glanced at the clock on the mantle and found it was after three. “Not really. How about you?”
“I’m hungry,” he said as he kissed her and got up to turn off the lamps.
“Why am I not surprised?” She watched him move around in the nude. Even with the bruises that colored his chest and face, he was so gorgeous she couldn’t look away.
He caught her watching him and grinned. “See something you like, darlin’?”
“Uh-huh.”
He turned off the last of the lights and returned to their makeshift bed on the floor.
Susannah squealed when he landed on top of her. “Watch your ribs!”
“They’re fine.” He captured her mouth in a passionate kiss.
“I thought you were hungry,” she said as he turned his attention to her neck.
“I am.”
She tilted her head to give him better access. “Want me to make you something?”
“You’d really leave this nice, warm bed for me?”
“If I have to.”
He drew back to look at her. “You do love me.”
“God help me,” she joked.
“What’re you going to do, Susie?”
“Make you a sandwich if you’ll get your big self off of me.”
He held her face so she couldn’t look away. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“This has been the most amazing day and night.” She reached up to touch his hair and then his face. “I just want to enjoy being here with you without any pressure to decide anything. Can we do that?”
He studied her for a long time, and it seemed to cost him to say, “Okay.”
“How about that sandwich?”
“You don’t have to.” He pulled on his sweats. “I can do it. Want half?”
“Just a bite and some water.”
“Coming right up.”
He returned a few minutes later with a huge turkey sandwich and a bottle of water to share.
“Ry?”
“What, baby?”
“I was just wondering...”
“About?”
She rolled her lip back and forth between her teeth.
He took her hand. “There’s nothing you can’t ask me, Susie.”
“If you love me so much, why’d you wait until the eleventh hour to do this? To come back?”
He swallowed the last bite of sandwich and took a long drink of water. “I didn’t plan to wait so long. When the judge ordered us to wait six more months before he would grant the divorce, the season was just starting. I wanted to wait until I could get you alone with no distractions, and you know how crazy everything is during the season.”
She nodded.
“No one expected us to do anything this year. It was supposedly a ‘rebuilding year,’ but everything went our way. We beat teams we never should’ve beaten. I was starting to feel desperate because time was getting away from me, and we kept winning. We played Miami in the playoffs.”
“I watched that game,” she confessed.
“Then you know we shouldn’t have won.”
“I was jumping all around when Willy returned that fumble for a touchdown.”
“It was insane. I couldn’t believe we were going to the Super Bowl again. It was an incredible season, in many ways more exciting than any of the others. Then I got hurt, and they stuck me in the hospital. I was freaking out. I was down to ten days until our court date, and they were telling me I needed to spend at least three of them in the hospital. So I checked myself out against the doctor’s orders.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
“You were engaged.” He fiddled with the blanket. “I was desperate. You should’ve seen me when I heard you were going to marry that guy. I just kept picturing you...with him, and I thought I’d go crazy. I got stinking, filthy drunk. I even missed a practice for the first time ever.”
Susannah swallowed hard. “I’d planned to tell you myself.”
He turned to her. “So why didn’t you?”
“Henry told a couple of people, and the word got out. After it was mentioned in the paper, I knew there was no point in calling you.”
“You should’ve called me, Susie. You owed me that much.”
“Yes,” she said softly. “You’re absolutely right. I did.”
He studied her intently. “Were you hoping to hurt me?” he finally asked.
“No.”
“You did.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Old Henry didn’t waste any time, did he? How long did it take him to move to Denver after we split up?”
“Three or four months.”
“He gave up a cushy job on Wall Street to run the First Mercantile Bank of Denver. Quite a step down, but I’m sure it was worth the sacrifice since you’d finally unloaded the dumb jock.”
“It wasn’t like that,” she protested.
“Sure it was.”
“Ryan, please...Don’t do this.” She put her arms around him and kissed his back. “Please. Don’t ruin everything.”
“I thought I already had. Isn’t that what you said when you asked me to leave?”
She leaned her forehead against his back. “Ry,” she said, her voice catching on a sob.
He turned and put his arms around her.
“I never meant to hurt you,” she said. “We hurt each other so much. I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“Neither do I.”
“Do you really think, in light of all that’s happened, we have a prayer of putting our marriage back together?”
“If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here.” He lay down and brought her with him. “We can do it, Susie. I know we can.”
“Are you really going to retire?”
“Yes.”
“And do what?”
“Run my businesses, and I’ve been toying with the idea of maybe coaching.”
“In the NFL?”
“High school.”
She looked up at him. “For real?”
“I think I could have a greater impact at that level. I was a messed-up kid with no father and a mother who worked all the time. Jimmy Stevens is the number one reason why I’m where I am today,” he said, referring to his high-school football coach. “He showed me what I was capable of.”
“But you could write your own ticket with the league.”
“Where would the fun be in that? Coaching a bunch of overpaid egomaniacs? No thanks.”
“And what would you know about that?” she asked with a smile.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He returned her smile with his trademark cocky grin. “When I went into town today, I called Duke. I’m meeting with him and Chet the day after tomorrow when they get back from Washington. I’m dreading telling them. They’re going to go nuts. I want you there with me when I tell them.”
“I don’t know, Ry. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
“Of course it does,” he insisted.
She yawned. “How?”