by Marie Force
The last call was from Diane, her divorce attorney. “Heard an interesting rumor about you and your soon-to-be ex-husband. I need you to call me right away. We might have a problem. A big problem.”
Susannah exited out of voicemail and called Diane. She was put right through to her.
“Susannah, thank goodness you called. Is it true? Are you back with him?”
“Not technically. How did you hear I was with him?”
“In the paper.”
“Oh, the hospital! We were at the hospital, and it was mentioned in the paper.”
“There’s been all kinds of speculation about you two the last few days.”
“Oh my God,” she whimpered. Henry. Oh, dear God. The news was all over town that his fiancée was back with her ex-husband.
“Are you with him right now?”
“We’re in Breckenridge for a few days. Why?”
Diane was silent.
“Diane? What is it?”
“Did you read the judge’s order like I told you to?”
“The thing is like a cinderblock. I flipped through it. Why?”
“He inserted a couple of clauses in there—at the very end. Did you get that far?”
Susannah’s stomach twisted with anxiety. “What kind of clauses?”
“Oh, the kind that says if you spend a single night under the same roof as your husband, the six-month waiting period reverts to day one.”
“What?” Susannah gasped. “Where does it say that? I never saw that!”
“Right before it says if you re-consummate the marriage, the divorce is null and void.”
“It does not.” Susannah sat down on the bed as all the oxygen left her body at once.
“You didn’t want to hang around after the hearing to go over it, so I told you to read it,” Diane insisted. “This judge is out to keep you two together for some reason. He refused to explain his ruling to either counsel, but he stuck all kinds of funky stuff in there neither of us had ever seen before.” She paused before she asked, “You didn’t sleep with Ryan, did you? Susannah?”
“I’ve got to go.” Susannah flipped her phone closed and stormed into the kitchen where Ryan was eating toast and drinking coffee at the very table where they had made mad love—twice—just half an hour ago.
He was reading the newspaper he had bought in town and looked up when she came into the room. “I made you some toast,” he said in a clipped tone that told her he was still pissed about their conversation in the shower.
She glared at him.
“What’s the matter?”
“You son of a bitch.”
Chapter 12
“What’s wrong?” he asked, confounded.
Tears tumbled down her face as she stalked across the room and pelted him with her fists. “You rotten son of a bitch! You knew, and you tricked me!”
He fended off her attack and tried to grab her hands. “What the hell has gotten into you? Watch the ribs! Are you trying to kill me?”
“Yes!” she shrieked. “Apparently that’s the only way I’ll ever be rid of you!”
Standing up so fast he knocked over the chair he’d been sitting in, he grabbed her flying fists before she could hit him again.
She struggled to break free of his tight hold but was no match for him. Breathing hard and still crying, she seethed, “Let go of me! Right now.”
His face was taut with anger. “Not until you tell me what the hell’s going on here.”
“You tricked me!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
She butted her shoulder into his midsection.
He gasped and released her hands.
Leaving him bent in half, she went into the guestroom, wiping away tears as she threw clothes into a bag. “You’re a fool,” she muttered to herself. “You’ve been a fool over him from the very beginning. Everyone tried to tell you, but you didn’t want to hear it. Well, now you know for sure.”
“What do you think you know?” he asked from the doorway.
“That you’re a slimy bastard.”
“I wish you’d tell me what you think I’ve done.”
“I want to go back to the city.”
“How’re you going to get there?”
She glanced at him and had to work at not caring that his face was pale and pinched with pain she had caused. “I’m taking the car.”
“The hell you are. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s gotten you so fired up.”
She crossed her arms. “Fine. You want to know? Here it is: your little scheme’s a bust. I know exactly what this ‘reconciliation’ trip is all about.”
He took a deep breath and glanced up at the ceiling as if in search of guidance or maybe patience. “You still haven’t told me what you think I’ve done.”
“Once again you’re getting exactly what you want—you’ve screwed up my life just as you set out to do. Congratulations. Now, do me a big favor and drop dead so I can marry Henry as planned. It’s the least you can do.”
“You don’t want to marry him,” Ryan said quietly.
“Yes, I do! Don’t tell me what I want!”
“If you really wanted to marry him, you wouldn’t have been doing me on the kitchen table less than an hour ago.”
Susannah put her hands over her ears. “Shut up! Just shut up! I’m so sick of the sound of your voice I could puke!”
“What’s going on, Susie?” he pleaded, taking a step into the room.
She held up her hand to stop him. “Don’t call me that, and don’t you dare touch me. I’m through with you. Do you hear me? Through! It’s over. O-V-E-R.”
He took another step toward her. “It’s not over.”
“Do you need another shot to the ribs to get the message?”
“No.”
“Then give me the keys.”
“You’re not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong. What did you mean when you said I’d tricked you?”
Determined not to be taken in by his concern or the gentle drawl of his voice, she kept her arms folded across her chest.
“The last time you went into a rage like this, I ended up in divorce court, and I’m still not entirely sure why.” His voice was calm and patient, but his eyes were hard. “This time you won’t get rid of me so easily. I can wait all day, but you’re not leaving until you tell me what happened between the shower and breakfast.”
“I talked to my attorney. That’s what.”
“And what did she say to make you think I’d tricked you?”
“She told me about the clauses in the divorce agreement—both of them.”
“I’m still not following you.”
“The hell you aren’t! You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Susannah, you’re seriously trying my patience. What clauses in the agreement? The thing was an inch thick, you can’t expect me to know it by heart.”
“You know the two parts that matter.”
“The only part that mattered to me was the one about you not being my wife anymore. I didn’t read much past that.”
“Your lawyer didn’t tell you the rest?”
“I told him I didn’t want to talk about it. I had to report to camp the next day, and my mind was anywhere but on my job. All I cared about was the six months the judge had given us to cool off and rethink things. I was thrilled we left court still married when I’d expected to be divorced.”
“So you want me to believe you didn’t know about the clause at the end that says if we spend a night under the same roof, the six months restarts at day one?”
His face went slack with shock. “No,” he said hoarsely as his face registered awareness. “So you thought. . . Oh, Susie, no.” He reached for her.
She sidestepped his grasp. “What about the sex clause?”
He swallowed hard. “There was a sex clause?”
“Like you don’t know if we have sex during the six months, the divorce is cancelled.”
Sha
king his head, he grasped her arms. “I didn’t read the thing, Susie. I swear to God!”
“I don’t believe you.” She tugged her arms free. “You did this on purpose. Yesterday was all about getting me into bed so you could get out of a divorce you never wanted in the first place. You said everything you knew I needed to hear, and I fell for it like the fool I’ve always been where you’re concerned. It was quite a performance, and it worked like a charm, didn’t it?”
“Is that what you think?” he asked with disbelief. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“We talked about our son. The son we loved and lost. You’d really accuse me of using him to get you into bed?”
She looked at his anguished face for a long moment before she said, “No. But the rest, yes.”
“Everything that happened between us yesterday was real. I swear on my life I knew nothing about either of those clauses. You have to believe me.”
“No, I don’t. You blackmailed me into coming here with you, so why should I believe you wouldn’t play dirty to get what you want, no matter what it costs me?”
“What I want is you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I meant what I said before. It’s over between us. I can’t live like this anymore.”
“I didn’t do what you’re accusing me of. If you don’t believe me, call Terry,” he said, referring to his divorce attorney. “He’ll tell you I was so happy to get a stay of execution I barely glanced at the judge’s order. I left the next day for camp. I swear to God, Susie. I didn’t know.”
With her hands on her hips she studied him, not wanting to admit she was starting to believe him. “Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, you didn’t know—”
“I didn’t,” he insisted.
“If that’s true then you’ll tell the judge you stayed with me because you were hurt and didn’t have anywhere else to go, right?”
“He won’t believe that. He knows I have scores of people I could’ve called on.”
“But no other family.”
“So let me get this straight. You’re suggesting I tell the judge that in my hour of need I turned to the woman who threw me out of my own home and was trying to divorce me?” He snorted. “Shit, darlin’, even I don’t believe that. Why would he?”
Susannah bit on her thumbnail as her mind raced. “Well, you got us into this mess by blackmailing me into spending time with you, so you’d better think of something he’ll believe.”
“Why?”
She was incredulous. “So we don’t have to restart the six months, and so the divorce won’t be cancelled.”
“I was sort of getting the feeling there might not be a divorce.”
“What gave you that feeling?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it was the five times you got it on with me in the last twelve hours.”
“I told you before it happened it didn’t mean anything,” she reminded him. “It was just sex.”
“Maybe the first time. By the third time, I’d say it meant something.”
“It didn’t,” she said, lifting her chin defiantly.
He studied her for a full minute before he said, “You know, I’m starting to wonder why it was I wanted you back so badly.” He turned and left the room.
Susannah began to go after him but stopped herself. “The hell with him,” she muttered, flopping on the bed next to her half-packed bag. “I don’t want him back, either.” But if that were true, why did it feel like she’d just let her best friend walk away? Why was she so remorseful about leading him to believe their lovemaking had meant nothing to her? And why was she so determined to push him away when she still loved him as much as she ever had, if not more? If she kept pushing, one day he’d go, and if she knew Ryan, he wouldn’t come back a second time.
She lay there stewing over it for a long time before she got up, ran her fingers through her still-damp hair, and wiped the tears from her face. In the living room, she found he had put away their bed by the fire and moved the sofa back to where it belonged, leaving nothing to remind them of their magical night together.
Ryan sat with stooped shoulders in front of the fire he had rebuilt. He seemed so alone that Susannah felt her heart go out to him and the last of her anger fizzle away. “It meant something,” she said softly.
He didn’t look at her when he said, “I know it did, darlin’. I was there, remember?”
She knelt down next to him on the rug in front of the fire.
“It hurts me that you won’t give me the benefit of the doubt, Susannah. I was a crappy husband to you at times. I don’t deny that. But I never lied to you. So why would I start now when there’s so much at stake?”
Because she had no good answer, she said nothing.
He reached for her hand. “It was rotten of me to show up the way I did and to cause you all this trouble with Henry. I know that. But I didn’t know about those clauses. I wasn’t trying to trick you.”
“Okay.”
Crooking his eyebrow at her, he said, “You believe me?”
“I want to.”
“Well, I guess that’s a start.” He looped a lock of her hair around his finger. “You must be hungry.”
She shook her head. Her stomach was so churned up that the thought of eating made her sick.
“Do you still want to go back to the city? I’ll take you if you do.”
Surprised, she glanced at him. Her heart ached at the expression on his face—longing and hope and fear and love. All in one place, and all of it wrapped up in her. “When’s your meeting with Chet and Duke?”
“Five o’clock tomorrow.”
“I guess tomorrow is soon enough to go home.”
His expression softened to relief. “Good,” he said. “That’s good.”
“Are you going to get sick of me and walk away before I decide what to do?”
“I probably should,” he said with a bitter laugh.
“But you won’t?”
He released the hair he’d been playing with and caressed her face. “No, baby, I won’t.”
She fought a losing battle to contain the tears that suddenly reappeared.
He brought her into his arms and held her tight against him while she cried it out.
“I’m so confused, Ry,” she said several minutes later.
“Tell me.”
“I want to believe things could be different, but then we have a huge, ugly fight that brings back all the memories of when things were bad between us.” She brushed at the remaining tears on her face. “I died a little bit inside every time we had one of those horrible fights.”
He nuzzled her neck. “Yeah, but remember making up?”
“Stop. I’m trying to be serious.”
“So am I. Our relationship is passionate—in the bedroom and out of it. That’s just the way we are together.”
“I want some peace, Ry. That’s what I have with Henry. It’s peaceful. We don’t fight.”
“You don’t have sex, either,” he reminded her.
“We will. When we’re married.”
“You’re starting to piss me off by continuing to insist you’re going to marry that guy.”
“I’m engaged to him.”
“Stop reminding me! I get it! But he’s all wrong for you.”
“And you’re so right for me?”
He took both her hands and held them tight. “If he wasn’t in the picture, would there still be a decision to make about us?”
“Yes,” she said but could tell he didn’t believe her. “One has nothing to do with the other.”
“I want you to promise me something.”
She shot him a wary glance.
“This is important, Susannah.”
Whenever he called her by her full name, it usually was. “What?”
“I want you to promise me that even if you don’t stay with me you won’t marry him.”
She tried to tug her hands free, but he tig
htened his grip. “You can’t ask me to promise that.”
“You’d be miserable with him.”
“I was miserable with you!”
“No, you weren’t. Not always. We had a rough time after we lost Justin, but you weren’t miserable before that, not the way you’d be with him. You’d be sacrificing so much of who you are if you marry a man you don’t love just to keep from being alone.”
“That’s not fair. I’ve been alone for much of the last year, and I was fine.”
“Promise me you won’t marry him,” he pleaded.
“I can’t do that.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Both.”
His sigh was deep and pained. “You may get your peace with him, but you’ll pay an awful price for it.” He leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I’m going to take a walk. I need to get some air.”
“You’re not going all the way into town again, are you?”
“No.” He got up slowly and winced when his ribs protested. “I don’t think I could do that today. I’ve had a setback in my recovery.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, chagrinned, as she reached a hand up to him. “I can’t believe I did that to you, but it’s your fault. You make me so crazy.”
He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I know. Sometimes that’s a good thing, and sometimes not so much.”
“What are we going to do about the judge?”
“I told you if we spent these ten days together and you still want the divorce I wouldn’t stop it. If it’s what you really want, I’ll do everything within my power to get it for you.”
“Do you mean that?”
He sighed. “Yes, Susannah, I mean it. I don’t want a divorce, but I won’t hold you hostage in a marriage that makes you unhappy.”
“Thank you,” she said, saddened by his weary resignation. She followed him with her eyes as he put on his boots, coat, hat, and gloves. “Be careful,” she called as he opened the door.
His grin had lost some of its cockiness. “You wouldn’t want me to think you care, now would ya, darlin’?”
He was out the door before she could tell him she did care.
Susannah stayed by the fire and wallowed in the quiet she had craved, except there was no peace amid the turmoil in her heart and mind. Ryan had surprised her with what he said about the divorce. That he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to give her what she wanted told her a lot, but it also added to her confusion.