True Blue

by Connie Bailey

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think it’s a good thing the piece was pulled. All it would have done was brought you more grief.”

  “Man, what happened to you? You used to be a rebel.” “I just choose my battles a little more carefully now, that’s all.”

  “Oh come on, Blue. We both know when you changed. The second that jock started slipping you the salami, you…”

  “Peyton,” Blue interrupted, “I like to think of us as friends, but if you keep talking, I don’t think I’ll be able to…think that. That didn’t come out right, but you know what I mean.”

  “Okay, I’ll shut up. It’s your business. My business is to turn you into a Shakespearean heroine.”

  “Thanks, Peyn.”

  “Don’t thank me. The costume will make or break you.”

  “Do I get to have big boobs?”

  “I’m surrounded by sexists.”

  “Yeah, I know. Can I take these pages with me? We’ve been at it for a while and I’ve got other stuff to study.”

  “Don’t you mean you need to bone up? Sorry. I’ll try harder.”

  “You know, that one was actually funny. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “You’ll stop and see Buckles for a fitting on your way out, yes?”

  “Okay,” Blue sighed, picking up his backpack.

  “I’d go with you, but I don’t want to peek until it’s finished.”

  “You’re truly strange.” Blue smiled over his shoulder. “I admire that.” Blue found Buckley Caldwell, who represented half of the wardrobe department, and held his arms up while a gown was slipped over his head. When he was covered, he dropped his uniform trousers and let Buckley pin up the high waist of the Empire-style dress. Peyton had persuaded Mr. McIntyre to move the setting of the play to the Napoleonic era, mainly to spare Peyton the sight of anyone he knew wearing tights. Blue didn’t care. He was in a dress either way. Mr. McIntyre could call it a costume all he wanted, but it was a dress, and as liberated and unusual as Blue thought he was, he was still glad when he could take it off. There were too many people walking around backstage, and he wasn’t in character. As soon as Buckley pulled the gown back off, Blue headed for the dorm. Heydn should be through with practice by now.

  Thescrawled note on Blue’s pillow read “Meet me at The Monks.” Blue didn’t take the time to change clothes. He dropped his backpack on his bed, stripped off his tie, and shoved the sleeves of his button-down shirt above his elbows. Not once on his way across campus to the lake did he feel the ground beneath the soles of his shoes. His imagination had preceded him to the clump of shoreline boulders everyone referred to as The Monks. He could already feel the warmth of Heydn’s arms around him and his stomach jitterbugged at a mental image of Heydn pushing into him, filling him, taking him along on a ride to the stars. They’d done it two more times since the first one and it was better each time.

  In between, they’d found it hard to stay away from each other and started meeting in out-of-the-way places to steal a few melting kisses and roughhouse gropes, separating reluctantly, breathless and as hard as marble, counting the minutes until they could be alone in their room. As soon as the door was closed and locked, they leapt at each other as though bent on kissing, licking, or stroking every centimeter of flesh as quickly as possible. Neither could get enough. Even when sprawling sated in the afterglow of climax, it took no more than a meeting of their eyes to reignite the perpetual smolder. Blue wasn’t surprised that Peyton thought he looked stoned. He felt high all the time.

  “Hey!” he called, smiling as Heydn straightened from his slouch against one of the big rocks. Heydn grinned and gestured for Blue to follow him around the group of boulders to the tiny cove on the other side. Bounding up the rocks of the miniature promontory, Heydn led the way to the sheltered inlet. They went a little farther along the pebble beach until they reached a line of trees that screened them from view. Heydn flopped down on his back and held up his arms to Blue. Blue settled atop Heydn, thrilled to find the other young man as hard as he was. Slowly, looking into Heydn’s blue-gray eyes, Blue pulsed his hips, rubbing his cock against Heydn’s.

  “Oh, man,” Heydn’s groan turned into a chuckle. “It’s like one of your yaoi vids where the hero is compelled by a curse to have hot sex with one of those ridiculously good-looking boy creatures. I just haven’t figured out where you’re hiding your ears and tail. Hey!” Heydn grinned as he got hold of Blue’s cock. “I think I found your tail after all.”

  “I love the way you touch me,” Blue said in Heydn’s ear, as the other young man stroked his shaft through the layers of his trousers and briefs. “Like I belong to you.”

  “I’m just after your lucky charms.” Blue laughed and ducked his head to kiss Heydn. He knew they didn’t have the time or supplies to do everything he wanted to, but he wasn’t leaving here with an aching hard-on again, and neither was Heydn. With a little maneuvering and a lot of snickering, they managed to get their mouths on each other’s cocks and a feverish contest began, both doing their utmost to make the other cum first. The competition ended in a dead heat with Blue climaxing as soon as he tasted the first drop of Heydn’s seed.

  They lay for several long moments, faces buried in damp crotches, mid-afternoon sun warm on their bare skin as the water of the lake lapped against the rocks in a ceaseless lullaby.

  “Crap,” Blue said as he yawned. “I can’t fall asleep.” Heydn sat up and fastened Blue’s pants for him. Blue returned the favor and then they were rolling entwined over the grass, laughing and wrestling. Heydn landed atop Blue and pinned the other young man’s wrists to the ground above his head. Panting and grinning, they gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment suspended outside time, and then Heydn rolled off Blue.

  “We really gotta go,” he said, as he got to his feet.

  “Right. I got carried away. Again. I swear I lose my mind when we’re doing it.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Heydn stared across the lake as if lost in the thought. “I’d like to stay here all day, but I guess we should go,” Blue said hesitantly. “Yeah.” Heydn picked up his jacket and followed Blue back along the shoreline. He still appeared to be deep in thought and didn’t speak again until they could see the chapel spire above the trees. “Hey, I might be late tonight. After my meetin’ with Coach, the team is supposed to watch some video about motivation or some such shit.”

  “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll start without you.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Definitely one of my finer features.” Blue smiled impishly. “Shall we go?”

  “I was kinda waitin’ for you to go first.”

  “Right.” Blue leaned toward Heydn for a kiss, but the other young man recoiled.

  “What are you doin’? We’re too close to campus.”

  “Sorry. Don’t freak out; no one saw us.”

  “But they could’ve. Damn it, Blue; I like messin’ around with you, but if anybody found out…it wouldn’t be good, you know?”

  “I know.” Blue sighed. “Why are people such asshats?”

  “I don’t know, but I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Somebody told me they saw you wearin’ a dress.”

  “Yeah. It’s for the play. Can you believe McIntyre and Crane talked me into it?”

  “You told me you were goin’ to be in the play, but you didn’t say you were goin’ to wear a dress.”

  “I know; it’s so humiliating, but it’s just a costume.”

  “So you’re goin’ to do it?”

  “Well…yeah. I said I would and it’d be kind of hard to find someone else now. What’s wrong?”

  “I just can’t believe you’re goin’ to go out in public dressed like a girl. It makes my skin crawl.”

  Blue frowned. “Are you fucking with me?”

  “Flamers creep me out,” Heydn said. “I don’t care if somebody’s gay or not, as long as they keep it to themselves. It’s the ones tha
t parade around in wigs and makeup that gross me out.”

  “I’m not doing it because I like it.”

  “Then don’t do it.” It was a few seconds before Blue answered. “You want me to quit the play?”

  “I just don’t want to be humiliated.”

  “What’s it got to do with you?”

  “You’re my friend. If you start sashayin’ around in high heels, people are gonna draw conclusions.”

  “You’re kidding, right? I doubt most people on campus would even suspect we’re friends. It’s not like they see us hanging out or anything.”

  “Our schedules are different and anyway I’ve never seen you at a track meet.”

  “Why would I go to a track meet? To watch a bunch of jocks trying to prove they have the biggest dick? Not my idea of a good time.”

  “No, you’d rather be doin’ a drag show.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “Sorry, but that’s how I feel. Look, I don’t want to get into a big nasty fight. Let’s just go and meet up later.”

  Blue nodded. “If that’s what you want, but we’re going to have to talk about this again.”

  “Later, okay? I’ll see you tonight.” “Okay.” It took all of Blue’s willpower not to touch Heydn, but he let him go without another word or gesture. When they were together again in their sanctuary, they’d settle this, but only after slaking their hunger for each other again. Blue’s smile came back as he began daydreaming about the night to come.

  “Gawd! There it is again,” Peyton said. “I’m really starting to hate that smug smile of yours, Barclay. Now stop spacing out and say your next line.”

  “What a flake,” groaned Rhodes Vaughn, the young man playing Orlando.

  “Do we need a break?” Peyton asked loudly, looking around at the other members of the Drama Club.

  “I could use one,” Blue sighed.

  “All right.” Peyton waved his hands in a shooing gesture. “Take five, people.”

  Rhodes rolled his eyes. “Whatever princess wants, princess gets.”

  “Jealous?” Blue asked. “I’m righteously pissed,” Rhodes shot back. “I’m at rehearsal on time every day with my lines memorized and I’m tired of you disrespecting me and the rest of the cast. If you’re committed to this production then get your head out of your ass and start working with the rest of us.” “You practiced that speech, didn’t you?”

  “I knew I’d get some smartass answer.” Rhodes turned to Peyton. “You piss me off too, Crane. Why should the rest of us suffer so your boyfriend can be a star?”

  “I was going to ask Mr. McIntyre the same thing about you,” Peyton replied.

  “Go suck donkey dong.”

  Peyton exchanged a glance with Blue. “Did you tell Rhodes about my trip to Mexico?”

  Blue cracked up, drawing a furious glance from Rhodes. “Lighten up, Vaughn. Peyn didn’t insult you and it was funny.”

  “Just because I like the theater doesn’t mean I’m a fag like the two of you. From now on, keep your homo humor to yourselves.”

  “I’m not the one that brought up donkey dongs,” Peyton drawled, arching his eyebrows.

  “You can both go to hell,” Rhodes said as he turned away.

  “We don’t have time to visit your mom right now,” Peyton called after him. “We’ve got a play to put on. Be back here in five minutes.”

  Rhodes shot him an over-the-shoulder bird as he hurried off.

  “What a dick,” Blue said.

  “Yeah, but he’s right. I know you aren’t thrilled to be doing this, but could you try a little harder?”

  “Am I that bad?”

  “Mostly you’re distracted, but today you’re somewhere else entirely.”

  “Sorry, Peyn. I’ve got stuff on my mind.”

  “I’d ask, but as we know, I’m not allowed to talk about Saint Heydn.”

  “Why is everything so damned complicated?”

  “That’s just the way the world is. I know that’s not a good answer, but…”

  “I wish I was older,” Blue interrupted. “I wish I could live somewhere with Heydn where no one knows us, somewhere where no one cares if we want to kiss in public.”

  Peyton took a deep breath and let it out, trying to ease the sharp pain in his chest. “I hear San Francisco’s nice.”

  Blue laughed as Peyton hoped he would. “Now all I have to do is convince Heydn.” “What? He won’t jump for joy at the idea of running off to Queer City with you?”

  “Like I said, it’s complicated.” Peyton made a frustrated noise. “This is killing me. I don’t know why you can’t see what’s going on. You used to be so sharp and now you’re just…” He made the noise again. “And the worst part is that you won’t even let me talk about it.”

  “I won’t listen to you talk trash about Heydn.”

  “Can I say just one thing?”

  “If you want to take that chance, then go for it.”

  “I have to.” Peyton paused. “I care about you, Blue. I’m not some jock who’ll let you suck him off ten times a day and not speak to you in public.”

  “Heydn talks to me. We just have different…”

  “I wasn’t finished,” Peyton interrupted. “I was going to make a prediction. As soon as Heydn thinks there’s a possibility of his new friends finding out he likes dick, he’ll drop you cold.” There was a short silence while Blue pulled Rosalind’s gown over his head and draped it carefully over a chair back. When he turned to face Peyton again, his face was devoid of expression. “I know you don’t like Heydn,” he said softly. “I understand that, but if you really cared about me as much as you say, you wouldn’t hurt me like this.”

  “What am I supposed to do?”

  “Be happy for me.”

  “It won’t last.”

  “Then be happy for me for as long as it lasts.”

  “I can’t. I know he’s going to hurt you a million times worse and it’s driving me mental that you can’t see it. You’re not a tough guy, Blue. When he dumps you, you’ll be…”

  “I don’t want to hear anymore. If you can’t stand to be around me, don’t force yourself, but we still have to do this play together.”

  “Don’t do this,” Peyton said. “I’m still your friend.”

  “Are you? I’m beginning to wonder about that.”

  “Don’t. I’m probably the only person on this campus that truly cares about you.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Peyton started to speak again, but Rhodes and the others returned and rehearsal resumed. There was a marked difference in Blue’s performance. He spoke his linesto Rhodes instead of at him and, by the end of practice, the atmosphere backstage had undergone a subtle change. The unspoken resistance to Blue’s presence thawed and over the next few nights, he was gradually accepted as a bona fide member of the club. No one invited him over for tea, but he was taken seriously and suddenly the bickering bunch of actors was a cast.

  Blue decided not to raise the issue with Heydn, preferring to deal with it when, or if, it came up again. It was so much nicer to spend his time with Heydn goofing on the computer or fooling around on the bed, or the desk, or the floor. The sex was always spectacular no matter where they did it and it always left Blue with a warm glow that lasted for hours. In this light, it was easy to believe that things would sort themselves out, that Heydn would see what phonies his jock pals were, that the play would go unattended by a single student, that he’d wake up in a world where no one cared who you chose to love.

  Heydn put in more time on the track as he won more races. The coach was impressed by his speed and his lack of attitude and began grooming him for a slot on a good college team. Other students began referring to Heydn as a track star. Kids he didn’t even know smiled and said hello to him in the hallways. He was invited to parties and trips to the shore. He still felt a bit like an imposter, but he was getting better at simulating the bored insouciance of his teammates. Allerton King had more or less taken Heydn under h
is wing and Heydn was grateful. He was enough of a realist to see that Allerton was probably just trying to keep his iron control over the track team, but that was motivation that Heydn could understand and cope with. In return for being a team player, Heydn got the admiration of the student body and the feeling that he finally belonged somewhere.

  So Blue and Heydn were both happy, each in his own way, as a round and golden October rolled to an end. Cross-country season began and Heydn trained for hours and miles, collapsing at night, but somehow finding the energy to respond when Blue went down on him. Blue had started on his costume for Halloween and the project easily filled the time between the end of rehearsal and Heydn’s arrival at the dorm. If either was bothered by small changes in the other, neither was willing to risk rocking the boat for something trivial.

  Peyton, the only other person that knew about the relationship, watched both young men from a distance, waiting for the inevitable wreck and hoping there would be enough of Blue left to salvage. That’s why Peyton was waiting for the track team to come out of the locker room after practice the day before Halloween. He intended to follow Heydn, but he was spotted first by two junior members of the team.

  “Crane!” Sloan Spalding exclaimed. “What’s a cock-jockey like you doing so close to the gym?”

  “Cock-jockey,” Copeland Graham hooted. “That’s a good one, Skip.”

  “Yes, very clever, Skip,” Peyton drawled. “And I’m here in my capacity as a journalist.”

  “Yeah, that sounds a lot better than ‘I was trying to cop a look at some wang.’”

  “If I was trying to get a look at your wang, I would’ve brought my microscope and tweezers.”

  Copeland laughed again and Sloan glared at him. “Sorry, Skip. It was funny,” Copeland said.

  “Really, pencil dick?” Copeland subsided, his overbite disappearing in a sullen pout. Sloan returned his attention to Peyton. “I don’t care what you’re doing here, dicklick. If I catch you outside the locker room again, I’ll kick your ass all the way to the bus stop. This ain’t the Village, Tinkerbelle.”

  “I can go anywhere on campus that I want to.”