True Blue

by Connie Bailey

  Heydn interlaced his fingers at Blue’s nape, cradling his head and gazing into his fathomless eyes. “We damn sure can’t keep our hands off each other, can we?”

  “It’s not easy,” Blue admitted, running his hands up and down Heydn’s back. “Kiss me goodnight.” Heydn let one of his hands fall to the small of Blue’s back and leaned in until their lips met. Blue took control of the kiss, tilting his head as he rose on tiptoe to hook one leg around Heydn’s hip. Heydn made a purring noise that vibrated against Blue’s lips and wrapped his arms around Blue’s willowy frame in a crushing hug. Blue felt the unmistakable bulge of Heydn’s reaction to the kiss and a warm glow of pride filled him that he could evoke such instant passion.

  “Okay,” Blue said breathlessly, as he broke the kiss. “Time for you to go.”

  Heydn groaned. “Come on. One more kiss…and let me jerk you off while we’re kissing.”

  Blue shook his head. “When you touch me it stirs my brains like oatmeal, but I’ve got just enough sense left to push you out the door.”

  “I think we’d both be happier if I stayed, but all right; I’ll go.” Heydn stole a quick kiss at the door. “Lock up, okay?” He listened for the dull click of the lock engaging before he walked away. The campus was deserted as Heydn jogged to his building. There were few lights in the windows. Heydn checked his watch as he entered his dorm and saw that it was barely midnight. He was not surprised to see his roommate awake and studying.

  Judson Lenoir looked up as the door opened and closed, but quickly put his head back down over his book. “Hi, Heydn,” he mumbled.

  Heydn came to stand behind Judson’s chair. “I hear there was some excitement while I was gone.”

  “Excitement?” Judson picked up a pen and fiddled with it.

  “What? You forgot already? Peyton Crane says you’re a hero.” “No, I…”

  “Come on, Jud. You probably saved Rollins Morehouse’s life. Aren’t you proud of yourself?”

  “I spent most of the day talking about it. You mind?”

  “Yeah, Jud, I mind.”

  Judson glanced over his shoulder. “Could you not stand over me like that?”

  Heydn grabbed the back of the other young man’s chair and pushed down. Judson flailed, sending his pen flying as the chair tilted. Heydn looked down into Judson’s eyes. “Is this better?”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  Heydn let go of the chair and the front legs hit the floor, jarring Judson. “Because I’m pretty sure you recognized the guys that beat Rolly up and because I owe a debt.”

  “What debt?” Judson turned to face Heydn. “When I was in jail, two people that had no reason to be nice to me got me bailed out. One of them even got the owner of the car to tell the cops that the stolen vehicle report was a mistake. My record is clean because a couple of people who didn’t owe me anything decided to do the right thing. That’s what I’m trying to do now. All I want is a little justice for a chubby kid that didn’t deserve to get his ass kicked by a gang of bigots.”

  “Man, he was a mess when I got there,” Judson whispered.

  “You were out training, right?”

  “Yeah. Sometimes I run the lakeshore because…well, because you always used to and I wanted to be like you.”

  “I guess I really disappointed you, huh?”

  Judson shrugged. “You’re not what I thought you were, but that’s not your fault.”

  “Why thank you, Jud. Now tell me the rest of it.” “I was just past the footbridge and rounding that curve where the leaves pile up and get real slippery and I heard weird noises. Swear to God, it sounded like animals or something. Then I saw three guys with bags on their heads and they were all kicking at something on the ground. They were grunting and laughing and Rolly was just making this kind of gasping sound. I yelled something; damned if I can remember what. They ran and that’s when I saw it was a person on the ground. One of his arms was twisted all wrong and there was blood all over his face.” Judson looked up from the floor. “I had this weird kind of panic feeling. I almost turned around and ran. The thought of those guys doing the same thing to me scared the shit out of me.”

  “But you helped Rolly.” “Well, yeah. I couldn’t leave him there. I mean…I had to leave him to go get help; I couldn’t carry him, but I let him know help was coming. The whole time I was running back to campus all I could think was what if those guys came back while I was gone?”

  “Those guys? What guys would those be?”

  “They’ll kill me.” “No they won’t. They might have the guts to beat up a queer when it’s three to one, but they won’t go after one of their own like that. They’ll count on intimidation to keep your mouth shut, and if that doesn’t work, they’ll most likely shun you.”

  “I can’t go against them, Case. It’s my future. My dad’s a partner in Newcombe’s dad’s firm.”

  “So you do know who they are.”

  Judson put his head down again. “Yeah.”

  “Come on. We’re gonna wake up Dean Whittaker and he’s gonna call the cops.”

  “I won’t do it. You can’t make me.”

  “Then you’re goin’ with me to visit Rolly in the mornin’.”

  Judson’s pink cheeks drained of color as he shook his head. “Hell no.”

  “I knew you had a conscience,” Heydn put a hand on Judson’s shoulder. “It’ll drive you crazy if you don’t do what’s right.”

  “I’m not like you. I’m not a cowboy or anything.”

  “I’m not a cowboy either. Iam from Texas and I’ve done a fair amount of ridin’, but…”

  “I just meant that I’m not brave,” Judson interrupted. “I’ve got my life mapped out and something like this could change everything.” “I just learned that the best thing you can do is be true to yourself. I know I sound like a hippie, but I’m talkin’ from experience. You’ll be a lot happier and sleep a lot easier if you just do what you know is right. If you don’t think you need to tell the dean who bashed Rolly, then don’t.”

  “You won’t beat me up?”

  “I don’t think Blue would let me.”

  Judson’s expression changed so quickly that Heydn remarked on it.

  “What’s that look for?”

  “Barclay’s just a little too out-there for me. I know he’s your friend and all, but he’s weird.”

  “He’s not boring, that’s for sure.” “I just don’t dig all that bizarre Japanese sci-fi stuff. I just don’t get it.”

  Heydn blinked. “So his weirdness has nothing to do with bein’ gay?”

  “Barclay’s gay? I’ve heard some talk, but I thought he was just a genderless computer nerd.”

  “I shouldn’t a said that,” Heydn said. “It’s not my place to say if he’s gay or not.”

  “I don’t care,” Judson said. “My older brother’s gay. He just had a commitment ceremony with his friend Garry.”

  “No shit. You’re pretty casual about it.” Judson shrugged. “Lee is sixteen years older than me. By the time I knew what sex was, he and Garry had been together forever. They met their first year in college and Garry was always around like a second big brother. When I was old enough to understand, Lee talked to me about it. I went through a few months where I felt all hurt and betrayed and whatnot, but I love Lee and Garry and I wouldn’t want to have Christmas without them, you know?”

  “That’s pretty cool, man.” Without thinking about it, Heydn reached out and tousled Judson’s ash-blond hair. “Hope nothin’ like what happened to Rolly ever happens to him.”

  “Look, I’ll go talk to Whittaker first thing in the morning, okay?”

  Heydn looked at his watch again. “All right. I think you’ll sleep better than you did last night.”

  “I sure hope so.” Judson rubbed his eyes. “I think I’ll lay down now.”

  “I’m goin’ down the hall. I’ll try to keep the noise down when I get back.”

  “Thanks, man.” Judson turned and began un
buttoning his shirt. “It was Logan and Skip Spalding and Copeland Graham. I could tell by the way they moved.”

  “Let’s hope the dean believes you. If not, we might have to go to the police ourselves.”

  Judson got into bed. “In the morning,” he said, closing his eyes. Heydn flipped off the light as he left the room. At the urinal, he found that his persistent hard-on had subsided enough that he could bend it downward to piss. The trip to the convention had given him hope, but he was still in the purgatory of his making. He had denied his love for Blue and like the boy who cried wolf his word was now held in some doubt. Shaking off, Heydn washed his hands and went back to his room. Whether or not he won Blue’s love again, he was going to listen to his heart from now on. With a glance at his sleeping roommate, Heydn lay down and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was going to be a stressful day.

  Chapter 19

  Heydnsaid goodbye to Judson and watched the junior walk through the office door to face the dean. He jogged a circuit of the campus, passing close by the science building so he could see Blue through the window of lab 3. Blue was watching the instructor write on the overhead projector so Heydn ran on, using up his first-period study hall in a patrol of Acton. The last loop of the course took him through the area where Rolly had been attacked, and he paused to look at the faint marks in the snow. When he heard the faint ringing of the class bell, he moved on.

  The Drama Club was excused from classes after lunch and met in the theater. Heydn arrived late, having showered and changed, and he was surprised to find the place almost empty. Spotting Blue at the side of the stage, he called out. “Where is everybody?”

  “They went to visit Rolly. Me and Peyton went this morning really early.”

  “I would’ve gone.”

  “They only let a couple of people in at a time and after Mrs. Morehouse showed up, she kicked everyone out. Rolly looked really embarrassed.”

  “So he’s doing okay?”

  “He’s doped up, so he’s not in pain and he was glad to see us. He swears he has no idea who the guys were that attacked him.”

  “That’s okay; I got Jud to tell me. He went to see Whittaker this mornin’.”

  Blue’s eyes widened. “Are you kidding?”

  “No.”

  “You talked him into going to the dean?”

  “It didn’t take much. Turns out his big brother is gay. When he started thinkin’ about how he’d feel if his brother got bashed, he made up his own mind.”

  “Yeah, but without you there, he might have decided to keep quiet. You did a really good thing.”

  “So, Heydn the Barbarian isn’t such a bad guy?”

  “He shows promise.”

  Heydn leaned a little closer. “Methinks I deserve a reward.”

  Blue’s gaze slid left and right. “I will never submit to you, savage,” he said softly.

  “We shall see, my captive beauty,” Heydn smiled. “Once you are in my tent…”

  “What are you babbling about, Case?” Astor said from behind Heydn.

  “Just practicing some lines from another play,” Blue said.

  “Yeah. Right. Pretty cheesy dialogue.” “I like cheese,” Heydn replied.

  Astor ignored him. “So what’s going on?” he asked Blue.

  “We’re just waiting for Peyton. He has a new scene to replace. You know, the one that was taken out.”

  “He’s not here?”

  “I haven’t seen him.”

  “He told me he was coming over here right after French class.”

  “I still haven’t seen him.”

  Astor’s gaze slid toward Heydn before he spoke to Blue again. “Mom wants to know if you’re still planning on coming to the lake for spring vacation. She needs to know how many horses to send up.”

  “You’d better tell her not to count on me.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

  “You don’t think waterskiing and swimming and riding are a good idea?”

  Heydn gave Blue a significant look, offering to leave or stay at Blue’s request.

  “I’ll bet Peyton’s up top getting high,” Blue said. “I’m going to go check.”

  Astor’s face bore a complicated expression as he watched Blue hurry away. “You’re really enjoying this. Aren’t you, Case?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Watching me make a fool of myself.”

  “Actually, it’s kinda painful. Reminds me we’re in the same boat.”

  “How do you figure that?”

  “We both want the same thing, and we can’t have it.”

  “Is that right? Because I hear you’re getting it.”

  Heydn put down the extension cord he’d just finishing coiling into a neat roll. “Do you really wanna get into this with me?”

  “You think I’m scared of you?”

  “Nope. I just think this is one rumor you don’t want confirmed.” “You’re fucking him,” Astor accused.

  Heydn clenched his fists and then slowly let his fingers unfurl. “I know you’re trying to piss me off,” he said. “But I really don’t want to fight with you.”

  “Why not? Aren’t I enough of a challenge for you?”

  “Look, whatever you think is going on…”

  “I think you’re fucking Blue; that’s what I think.”

  “You’re right.”

  The short silence rang in their ears with the pulse of pounding blood.

  “Asshole,” Astor said at last, his voice choked with emotion. “You’re just going to fuck him over again.”

  Heydn shook his head.

  “Yes, you will. You’ll fuck him until you get tired of him and you’ll dump him again.”

  “That could never happen. Settle down, man. It’s not even my decision.”

  “That’s crap. You sucked him back in and when you’re done with him, you’ll throw him away.”

  “Do you really think Blue is that weak? Listen up; I might be sleeping with him, but that doesn’t mean I have him. If anything, he’s usingme .”

  “You’re so full of shit, Case.”

  “I’mfull of shit?”

  “Yeah. I would have loved Blue for his whole life. All you want is a piece of ass.”

  “I don’t expect you to believe me, and I don’t care, but you’re wrong. I had to lose him to realize it, but I love Blue and I’m going to love him for the rest of my life whether we’re together or not.”

  “Awwwww, that’s beautiful,” Rhodes said, as he came down the aisle toward the stage. “But you might want to lower your voices. I could practically hear you guys in the lobby.”

  Astor turned pale. “I’m going to look for Peyton around the dressing rooms,” he said as he walked quickly away.

  Rhodes raised an eyebrow at Heydn. “Was it something I said?”

  Heydn smiled. “He’s kinda sensitive.”

  “Are you guys really fighting over Blue Barclay?” “No. I’m not anyway. Astor may have some issues to work out.” “Freaky,” Rhodes pronounced. “Hey, I heard from Drex Ewing that Whittaker called Logan Newcombe to his office during third period and that Logan didn’t look happy. In fact, he said Logan cussed in front of Mr. Olivet and stomped out of class even though Old Olive Oil was hollering at him to come back. His ass is gonna be grass for sure.”

  “Let me know if the blades on the lawnmower need sharpenin’.”

  Rhodes laughed. “Guess you guys aren’t big buddies now that you’re gay.”

  “It’s more like I evolved and I don’t hang with the apes anymore.”

  “You’re a funny guy, Case.” “Yeah, it just sorta happened when I went gay.” Heydn looked over his shoulder at the door to the stairwell. “Hey, Rhodes, would you mind havin’ a look out back for Peyton? I’m goin’ up and see what’s takin’ Blue so long.”

  “Sure. Just don’t make out all day.”

  “You’re obsessed with the idea of me and Blue kissin’, aren’t you?”


  Rhodes rolled his eyes. “Isn’t everyone?” he said archly as he sashayed off holding up a limp-wristed hand to wave bye-bye.

  “That’s hilarious, Vaughn,” Heydn said sarcastically as he started up the stairs.

  “No!” Blue yelled as Heydn opened the door to the roof. “Don’t come out!” It was too late. Heydn had seen Logan and the marks that Logan’s fists had left on Blue. He charged out of the doorway and tripped over Peyton. The harsh surface of the roof abraded the heels of his hands as he tried to catch himself and then the toe of Logan’s sneaker hammered the side of his head, flipping him onto his back. Blue threw a punch and cried out involuntarily as Logan seized his fist and twisted his arm behind his back.

  “Stay the hell down, Case,” Logan said. “Or I’ll break your sweetie’s wrist.”

  Heydn shook his head, seeing double when he tried to focus on Blue. “That would be a huge mistake,” he said.

  “I’m not screwing around. You just stay where you are until I figure out a couple of things, or I’ll toss your boyfriend off the roof with the other faggot.” Blue kicked backward, catching Logan in the shin and making him yell. While Logan was distracted, Blue tried to pull free and succeeded in wrenching his shoulder from the socket. All the color drained from his face as the pain seized him in a fist of granite and crumpled him like an empty can. Logan yanked Blue up when he sagged, nearly making him pass out. Heydn saw the agony in Blue’s pale, pinched features and started to get to his feet.

  “I said stay down, Case!” “There’s somethin’ wrong with him, man,” Heydn said. “You’re hurtin’ him.” “I’ll hurt him plenty if you don’t get back on the ground right now! Take a look at Crane if you need a visual aid.”

  Heydn’s gaze flicked to Peyton’s prone form. Blood leaked slowly from Peyton’s nose and the corner of his mouth, proof that he was merely unconscious and not dead.

  “Logan,” Blue gasped. “Let go of my arm. I think it’s broken.”

  “Shut up, fag. Anybody that can take a dick up the ass can handle a little pain.”

  “I’m gonna kill you, Logan,” Heydn said. “Just so you know.”

  “You’re gonna do whatever I say as long as I’ve got your little butt boy.”

  “Looks like he got a couple a licks in on you.” Heydn stared at Logan’s bloody nose. “Not bad for a butt boy.”