Moment of Doubt

by Sara Gauldin

  I moved toward the new tombstone like I was being pulled by a magnet. I already knew what I would see, but the wave of emotion that hit me when I read my mother’s name was like reopening a wound I had been hiding. There was a small bouquet of daisies leaning against her headstone. I wondered who put them there, but the raw emotion of the moment pushed the trivial though out of my mind almost as soon as it occurred to me.

  I kneeled on my mother’s grave and touched the letters on her headstone. I traced her entire name: Colleen Grace Rich, trying to let the permanence of the stone take credence from the doubts I now faced. I wanted my mother alive and well. I wanted all of this to be a nightmare, so she could comfort me and tell me there was no need to worry, that secret power plays and cover-ups were all just part of my overactive imagination. But I knew first hand that sometimes the way things seemed was nothing like the reality behind it.

  “Mom, it’s Avery.” I felt stupid speaking to a tombstone, but there were things I needed to say. “I miss you. I can’t even tell you how much. Everything was stable and normal while you were around. But during the last year, nothing has felt that way. I don’t understand this alternate version of the woman who raised me.”

  I paused. Saying what I thought out loud almost seemed like a betrayal to my mother. I took a deep breath and wiped away the tear that had made its way partway down my cheek. Swallowing the knot in my throat, I continued. “There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m angry, Mom. I was angry for so long at the man who was driving the truck that hit you. They said he wasn’t at fault. They said you cut him off, and that’s why he hit you. And finally, I forgave him and you. Nobody plans on this. But if that woman… if you’re not here. Did you plan to disappear from my life? Did you intend to leave me behind?”

  I stood up, looking around self-consciously. I was falling apart right here in public.

  Mom’s grave couldn’t give me the answers I wanted. I shook my head. I didn’t know what I was hoping to find, but whatever secrets my mother’s death held, I wouldn’t find them crying at her headstone.

  I stood up and wiped my tears on my sleeve. This was getting me nowhere. I needed to pull myself together. My mother was dead. The stress of the last two years was breaking me down, but the George family had agreed to leave me alone. Seeing someone who resembled my dead mother was just a coincidence. There was nothing more to know. I told myself that my mother was dead, and I needed to let go of whatever this delusion was. None of it was healthy. And it was time to move forward.

  I took a coin from my purse and set it on Mom’s grave. I should have brought flowers, but there was time for that later. For Mom, there was nothing but time between her and eternity.

  Chapter 5

  Walking into my old department brought back a wave of rookie jitters that I didn’t expect. Everything was just like it was when I’d left, right down to the bad wood paneling in the front lobby area. Genevieve spotted me before I made it to the front desk. She hadn’t changed a day. She walked with confidence, her shoulders back, and her head level. Her suit was black and pristine and so was her hair, cut into a sharp bob.

  I smiled as she approached. “Genevieve Richards, it’s good to see you again.”

  Genevieve shook my hand. “You look good, Avery. More like you’re refreshed.”

  “Thanks, things have finally settled down with that mess of a case from Alexandria.”

  “I heard. Honestly, it surprised me when you agreed to find Caroline George after all that family did to you.”

  “I wanted them out of my life for good. Sometimes, you have to make a tradeoff.”

  “That was a rough trade. I’m sorry to hear about Ryan Kain.”

  Another wave of emotion threatened to drag me down. I pushed the memory of Kain out of my mind and ordered it to stay lost. I couldn’t go there. Not knowing if he was alive or dead was a nagging question, the loose thread I was afraid to pull. “I don’t expect to hear anything.”

  “No, I doubt you will.” Genevieve let the matter drop. I was glad of it. “Before I brief you on the case, I wanted to take you down to the last crime scene. I’m interested in your feedback before I tell you what to see.”

  “That sounds fair.” It sounded a little terrifying. There was nothing like starting a case with being critiqued by the commanding officer.

  “Perfect. We can take my cruiser. It will give us a chance to catch up.” Genevieve gestured toward an oversized Escalade FBI cruiser, solid black, parked outside.

  ***

  The cruiser was stripped down from everything that made it luxury in a traditional sense, but in security, it had everything you would want in modern law enforcement. “Are these panels bulletproof?” I asked.

  “They are and the glass.”

  “Nice.”

  “Thank you for coming out on such short notice. I know you’re busy.”

  “I wish I could say I was busy. I’m selling the cabin.”

  “Oh really, I thought you liked it out there in the middle of nowhere.”

  I sighed. “When it was keeping me alive, it was perfect. But now I need to move on with life, rejoin civilization, so to speak.”

  Genevieve pushed the gas and merged ahead of traffic. We were heading west, toward the edge of town. “I’m glad to hear that. It was a waste, you hiding out there waiting for those jerks from the George family to forget you.”

  “It was great when I thought it was working. But they never really forgave and forgot.”

  Genevieve shot me a glace; her brow was creased. “Do you think they will now?”

  “I hope so. Katherine Henry is dead, Fredrick George is in jail for his stupidity, and Caroline and Ivadale owe me a pass.”

  “I sure hope they leave you alone now.”

  I nodded. It was time to change the subject. “Have they identified the other victim yet?”

  “Yes, the M.E. says he is Jeffery Ellis.”

  “Jeffery Ellis. That doesn't ring a bell. Do you have much information about him?”

  “He was thirty. He worked in a restaurant downtown. His sister reported him missing about a month ago.”

  “A month? No wonder it was hard to ID him.”

  Genevieve put her signal on as she reached the turnoff for the boat ramp. “You would think so, but that wasn’t the challenge.”

  My stomach flip-flopped as she drove around the curvy, sloped road. I tried to imagine what it would be like to tow a boat down the narrow, twisting road and decided that anyone willing to take on the road would know the area well, or they would have to be a professional driver. “It’s quite a drive to get to the place. Who found the body?”

  “It was Richard Allen. He leads a kayaking group, and two days ago they launched from this ramp.”

  “That makes sense. I was trying to picture how you would get a fishing boat down here.”

  “It would be a pain, but some locals do it. The dive team got a boat in here. They’ve been working the area most of the day.”

  “Dive team?” Genevieve had said they had a hard time identifying the body. If they brought in a dive team, I wondered what state the remains were in.

  “Jeffery Ellis was found in several pieces.” Genevieve pulled into the parking area. A uniformed officer moved a canoe with police tape across the top so she could pull down closer to the actual crime scene.

  I cringed at the mental image. “Oh wow. How long had he been dead?”

  “That’s a great question. Mr. Ellis was last seen when he left a gas station on Clifton Street after he worked the night shift about two months ago.”

  I tried not to react to the mental image. “So, we’re talking advanced decomposition. Any chance that wildlife pulled the body apart?”

  Genevieve cringed. “I wish that was the case. No, the body had little decomposition, probably because it was frozen.”

  The early spring weather wasn’t what I would consider warm, but it was well above freezing outside. “So, the body was frozen in the water?”


  “Some parts of the body were in the water. Richard Allen hit part of the torso with his kayak. The other parts were in the woods nearby. Avery, somebody dismembered this guy. The M.E. thinks they used a jigsaw or a Sawzall or something similar.” She hopped out of the car and headed down toward the boat ramp area.

  As I followed suit, my mind made the connection. I didn’t want to think of Dana that way, but I had to know. “You think the same person who killed Dana Myer killed this man?”

  “Yes, it seems likely.” Genevieve took a deep breath. “I know you knew her. I’m sorry to tell you, but they dismembered her body. They found her on the shore about a mile down the waterway.”

  A memory of Dana sitting across from me at the school lunch table giggling about the new boy in class came to mind. She was vibrant, and not someone I would have ever expected to end up dismantled and dumped like trash. I swallowed hard to push back the bile I could feel rising in my throat. None of this was right, but it was real, and now it was my job to help stop it from happening again.

  When we reached the boat ramp, Genevieve showed me an area in the woods off to the right of the ramp. The forest floor was already covered with evidence markers. Keeping to the taped off areas, I made my way through the maze of yellow markers. As we walked, Genevieve and I stopped at each marker and I took pictures, a tuft of hair, a footprint, a bloody smear on a tree, a mark from something heavy being dragged, and another place where the weeds were compressed where something or someone once sat. We saw a second footprint, smaller than the first, although both appeared to have been made by a boot.

  Looking at the boot prints, I considered the evidence. “Well, if the victim was still mostly frozen, we already know that this isn’t where he died.”

  “No, this wasn’t the place,” Genevieve agreed.

  “And there are prints from two separate boots, so either only one of them was the person dropping the body, or two people were working together to dump what was left of Jeffery Ellis.”

  Genevieve pointed to the compressed vegetation. “Ellis was a sizeable man. I think it’s safe to assume that he would be heavy for one person to dump out here.”

  “And they dragged him here.” I pointed to the drag marks.

  “So it’s likely our perp, and maybe a second perp brought the victim here. There doesn’t seem to be any major blood trail, except the smear on the tree. I would say that speaks to the manner of death, but since I already know that they dismembered the victim, I assume the lack of blood was because of being dismembered and then frozen.”

  “It’s a horrible ending, but we know little about the rest of this guy’s story so far.” Genevieve bent to look at the smaller boot print again. “Does this look like it could be a ladies’ boot to you?”

  I bent down to inspect it. “It could be or a small man. When did it rain last? Both boot prints sunk into the soil like it was saturated when they were here. The larger print appears to have been heavier. They sunk into the mud a little deeper.”

  “It rained here the day before yesterday, according to the weather report. That was the day before the kayak group found the body.”

  “What time did they find him?”

  “They reported it around two o’clock.”

  “So whoever dropped the body here did it after the rain and before the kayak group came through, unless the kayakers were the ones who dropped the body. I’ll want to talk to them to narrow down when they saw the body and how they discovered it.”

  “Of course. We already have an interview with Richard Allen set for this afternoon.”

  “Perfect.” I stopped and looked over the crime scene. “Without seeing which part was where it’s hard to know what they were thinking.”

  “What do you mean?” Genevieve was testing me and I knew it. I was sure she already knew what happened here and why.

  I chewed my lip, considering my response. “Well, if the body was frozen, it alters the time table of the death. The killer didn’t dump the body right away. They took the time to cut it up and to freeze it. You said Jeffery Ellis was a sizeable man. It would take some time to chop him up and for his body to freeze. I don’t have the M.E’s report, but it’s possible that they cut him up to fit in the freezer space.”

  Genevieve leaned down to take a picture at one of the evidence markers. “If freezing the body was the point, then why drag it out here and dump it later?”

  “Either the killer had an additional reason to need to dump the parts fast, or they were leaving a message. Until I see the original crime scene photos and talk to the medical examiner about the man’s death and dismemberment, I won’t have a clear picture of what that motivation could have been.”

  “Well, I can see you haven’t gotten rusty,” Genevieve said with a smile. “Let’s head to the medical examiner’s office and see what they have to say about our victim.”

  Chapter 6

  The local Medical Examiner worked from the hospital morgue. Genevieve showed me into the medical building. “Have you met them?”

  “No, have you?” Genevieve asked.

  “I don’t think I have. The doctor who was here when I worked in Sandusky retired.” We turned down the hallway leading us from the part of the hospital that was reserved for healing and to the dark corner used for understanding the dead. The temperature dropped as we entered the front office. A receptionist with retro, cat-eyed glasses looked down her nose at us as we entered.

  Genevieve smiled warmly and produced her badge. “I’m Special Agent Genevieve Richards. This is my associate, Avery Rich. We need to speak to the resident M.E.”

  The receptionist stood up, revealing her pregnant waistline. “I assume you’re here about the body bits that have been coming in. Dr. Sanchez is in her office. First door on the left.”

  “Thank you,” Genevieve said. I followed her down the hallway. We knocked on the half-closed door bearing Dr. Sanchez’s name on a plastic plaque.

  “Come in.” Dr. Sanchez had a high-pitched and accented voice.

  Genevieve repeated our introductions, and I shook the doctor’s hand. She was short, full-figured, and middle-aged.

  “I’d be glad to go over the file. I briefed the local PD earlier,” she said.

  I attempted a reassuring smile. “That would be helpful. I also would like to see the bodies.”

  Genevieve shot me a surprised look.

  “Ms. Rich, please don’t be offended. I’ve had this job for a long time. I’ve seen many things that I can’t un-see. But these bodies are something I’ve never experienced before.”

  I tried to look Dr. Marian Sanchez in the eye. “I’ve seen the dead before.”

  Genevieve regrouped and pulled herself up to her full height. “It’s possible that seeing the state of the remains in person will help us better understand the criminal.”

  “If you insist, I’ll show you. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  ***

  Dr. Sanchez opened the first refrigerated locker and pulled out the long tray. A sheet covered what was sitting on the tray, but the shape of what was there did not resemble a human body. “I tried to put Jeffery Ellis back in anatomical order. Unfortunately, we’re still missing some of him.” She pulled back the sheet revealing the head portion of Jeffery Ellis. The flesh from his face was mostly gone, along with his hair and scalp. There were no eyes in the empty sockets that were aimed in my general direction.

  I stated the obvious. “His skin’s gone.” The words just popped out.

  Dr. Sanchez nodded. “It’s awful. Someone peeled him.”

  “Was the skin recovered?” Genevieve asked. Her expression was calm, but her color looked a little off.

  “No. Identifying the body took longer. We used DNA to make sure. Finger prints were not an option.” She lowered the sheet to reveal a partially peeled torso and an arm. There were etching marks in the remaining flesh in strange patterns as though somebody had whittled a design in the flesh. I noticed that the tip of each fi
nger was missing to the first joint.

  “I see there were no fingertips left on the body, maybe they thought the victim couldn’t be identified without prints,” I said.

  Dr. Sanchez scowled. “I can’t tell you why. But the how, well it looks like the work of a cigar trimmer.”

  “Was all of this damage done after he died?” I hoped she would say yes.

  “Some of it was after death. Most of the facial damage occurred post mortem. They peeled other areas while he was still alive.”

  I shuddered despite my resolve to remain objective. “So, we’re looking at torture.”

  “I’d say yes.” Dr. Sanchez looked at the body with her brow creased.

  “Can you determine how long this went on?” Genevieve gestured toward the peeled arm of the corps.

  “There is little evidence that the wounds healed. Some of them showed evidence of clotting. That wouldn’t be likely on a corpse.”

  “So, this could have gone on for a while?”

  “I’d say they did this over a day or more. With the amounts of cuts, blood loss would have been an issue.”

  “Do you think that’s the cause of death?” I asked.

  “Yes, for now, I’d say that is the most likely cause. With the amount of damage here, I’m still looking for other causes.”

  “Can we see the rest of the body?” I asked.

  “Well, since you haven’t already vomited, I guess I’ll allow it.” Dr. Sanchez pulled back the sheet revealing the mangled meat that was once a human being.

  I took out my phone and snapped a few pictures I knew I wouldn’t want to look at later. I leaned in to take a picture of the remaining leg when I noticed a strange mark on the upper thigh. “What caused this mark?” I pointed to the purple line that went all the way around the still fleshy part of the man’s upper thigh.

  “I think someone applied a tourniquet,” Dr. Sanchez said.