My Vows Are Sealed (Sealed With a Kiss)

by Carmen Richter

  “Is there anything we can do?”

  “No,” I sobbed.

  “Can I tell them what happened, Dar?” Brendan asked quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder.

  I nodded, and he gave my shoulder a squeeze and took a deep breath.

  “Ethan started harassing her at church last night, and I tried to get him to shut up. Our youth pastor walked in in the middle of it and sent him into the main service instead of letting him stay in the children’s lesson, and he got pissed and went to Darla’s dad and told him she’d made friends with the two of you because he wanted to hit her where it hurt. And her dad’s…” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, almost like he was trying not to cry.

  But why was he trying not to cry? I knew he cared about me, but I couldn’t understand why he was this upset about something that barely affected him at all.

  “Not as accepting as you guys are,” Ashton finished for him.

  Taking another deep breath, I pulled out of Kate’s hug. “I’m grounded for two weeks, except for school and church, and he told me I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone for the next two weeks, especially the three of you. He said he’d know if I disobeyed him, and if I did, I’d be punished even worse. And honestly, I’m terrified of what he’ll do if he finds out I’m still talking to you guys, but you’re the only people who have actually been nice to me since I got here and I really don’t want to lose you.”

  “You’re not going to lose us,” Kate said. “I promise. You realize it’s not every day that we meet people who accept us for who we are either, right? You’re one of us now whether you like it or not, missy. You couldn’t get rid of us if you tried.”

  I chuckled and sniffled at the same time.

  “Okay, question,” Ashton snickered. “Want to explain why you’re not allowed to talk to Brendan? I mean, I get that Kate and I are clearly just too fabulous for the likes of him, but that boy is as straightlaced as they come.”

  “Sure, just keep talking about me like I’m not here. That’s cool,” Brendan teased.

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed, which I was sure was their goal.

  “Brendan gave me a hug and my dad saw it, so obviously that means I’m living in sin now,” I explained.

  Kate giggled. “Well, I call dibs on maid of honor at your shotgun wedding.”

  Brendan laughed, but I was mortified. I was sure I turned the color of a tomato as I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

  “Hey! What about me? We could co-person-of-honor it,” Ashton teased.

  “Seriously? Don’t we share enough?” she shot back.

  “I mean, we could share more…” they snickered.

  “Oh, my gosh. I’m going to go die now,” I mumbled from behind my hands, unable to bring myself to look at Brendan.

  Thankfully, the bell rang, saving me from any further embarrassment.

  “Saved by the bell,” Brendan chuckled. “You going to be okay, Dar?”

  I nodded, still not removing my hands from my face. Apparently he didn’t like that much, because he pulled them away and made me look at him. Well, at least his face was bright red too. That was comforting, sort of.

  “I mean it. Are you going to be okay?” he pressed.

  “We have Bio together first period,” Kate told him. “I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you crazy kids at lunch,” he chuckled. “Take care of my girl for me, Kate.”

  Brendan gave me another hug and walked away, and I was left standing there with my jaw on the floor.

  What in the world had just happened? Brendan hadn’t actually just called me his girl. Had he?

  Okay, yes, he had. But he didn’t mean it like that. He couldn’t have. He was just going along with Kate and Ashton’s joke. Or he meant it as a friend or a sister. He didn’t really mean that I was his girl, right?

  Ashton picked my backpack up off the ground and handed it to me. “Someone’s got it bad for you, woman.”

  I shook my head. “We’ve literally known each other for our whole lives. I’m like a sister to him.”

  “Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Kate snickered. “Come on, let’s get out of here before we’re late. See you in Algebra, Ash.”

  “See you,” Ashton said as they started to walk away.

  Kate and I started to head toward our biology class, and as soon as we couldn’t see Ashton anymore, she turned to me.

  “So, um, Ash asked me out over the phone last night,” she told me.

  I grinned. Yep, I’d called it.

  “You said yes, right?” I pressed.

  “Yeah, but…I don’t know. It’s weird, isn’t it? Like, it’s kind of out of the blue. We’re just friends.”

  Out of the blue? Was she kidding? Ashton might as well have been wearing a neon sign saying I Have a Crush on Kate with how obvious it was that they liked her as more than a friend. I might have been sheltered, but even I could see that.

  “Um, they’ve literally said they’re waiting for you to come to your senses and realize you’re madly in love with them,” I reminded her. “And whenever we’re not in class, they’re pretty much glued to your side. Does that sound to you like someone who likes you as just a friend?”

  “But they’ve been saying stuff like that to me for the past couple of years,” she countered.

  “And they can’t have had a crush on you for the past couple of years?” I pressed.

  “Maybe,” she mumbled, flushing bright pink.

  “So, you’re going out with them, right?” I said as we walked into our classroom.

  “Yeah, I am,” she muttered, sliding into her desk. “But if we’re going to talk about people with crushes, how long have you had a crush on Brendan?”

  I groaned and buried my head in my hands again, resting my elbows on the desk. She and Ashton weren’t going to let this go, were they?

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” she chuckled. “But you two would make an adorable couple. Just saying.”

  “Even if he saw me that way, which he doesn’t, it’s pointless to even think about it. My dad’s made it very clear that as long as I’m living under his roof, I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend,” I sighed, lifting my head to look at her. “And I’m honestly scared of what he’d do if he found out I was sneaking around with anyone behind his back.”

  She gave me a sad smile. “He’s pretty strict, huh?”

  “Yeah,” I admitted. “I mean, it’s fine. He thinks he knows what’s best for me, but I just wish he’d realize that things aren’t always black and white. Like with you and Ash. He’d probably pull me out of school altogether or send me to a military school or something if he found out we’re still friends.”

  “Well, if I see Ethan, I’ll act like I can’t stand the sight of you,” she teased.

  The second bell rang, and I smiled as I turned toward the front of the classroom.

  Okay, this was officially ridiculous. How on Earth was I supposed to get through the entire school day without talking to anyone? If teachers called on me for an answer to a question, I had to answer them. Plus, if someone talked to me, it wasn’t like I could just ignore them. My dad’s punishment just wasn’t practical or logical. I couldn’t help but disobey him, even if I was terrified of the result if he found out.

  Yes, I knew I’d already blown it by talking to Brendan, Kate, and Ashton this morning, but I just…I had to at least attempt to obey my father. Even though this was an unreasonable punishment, it was still handed down to me because of something I’d done. I’d kept a secret from my father, and he’d found out about it. I knew there would be consequences. I just hadn’t realized they’d be so severe. So I had to try to obey him, because I had to do my penance for my sins. I’d only broken his rule this morning because I needed to make sure I’d still have friends when it was over.

  I was already exhausted and ready to just be done with this day as I walked into the cafeteria for lunch. With how shy and introverted
I was, I honestly hadn’t even thought this punishment would be a huge deal, but as it turned out, it actually took more effort to avoid speaking to people than it did to speak to them.

  “Hey, Darla,” I heard someone say.

  I turned to find Naomi standing there.

  Darn it. Another person I couldn’t talk to. And this time, it was someone I considered to be a close friend. How was it right that my punishment was hurting the people around me too? This wasn’t fair to my friends.

  I offered Naomi a small smile and tried to keep walking toward the food line – where I’d have to try to figure out how to get my lunch without talking to the lunch lady – but she just followed me.

  “We missed you in the kids’ service last night,” she said. “What happened?”

  Tears stung my eyes, and I squeezed them closed to keep myself from crying. That would just raise questions that I couldn’t answer. Literally. Not just because of the fact that I wasn’t supposed to be speaking to anyone, but because I’d specifically been told that if he found out that I’d told anyone about my punishment, I’d get however many lashes he decided to give me with his belt. My punishments were private family matters, and I had no business telling anyone else about them.

  “Darla, are you okay?” Naomi asked.

  “I’m fine,” I whispered.

  The lie burned my throat coming out. Why was it okay for me to lie to someone and tell them nothing was wrong, but not okay to keep things like making a couple of new friends from my father because that was deceptive and sinful and rebellious? If it was wrong to lie to my dad, shouldn’t it also have been wrong to lie to my friends?

  Thankfully, I was the next person in line to get today’s offering of crappy pizza, corn, and milk, so I stepped up and said as little as possible as I got my food. Then I turned away, trying to find an empty table in a corner somewhere so I could keep up my forced vow of silence while I ate. Luckily, at the very far end of the cafeteria, there was a free table. I walked over to it without a word and sat down, mindlessly starting to nibble at the cardboard-flavored square they tried to pass off as pizza.

  Someone hugged my shoulders, and I jumped half a foot in the air as my heart started racing at the unexpected contact.

  “Oh, my God!” I shrieked.

  “It’s just us, honey,” Ashton chuckled as they sat down next to me.

  “Didn’t think we’d actually let you eat alone, did you?” Kate said, taking the seat on my other side.

  I couldn’t help the tears that welled up in my eyes. I didn’t deserve these two. I was a terrible friend. If it hadn’t been for me running into Brendan this morning, I would have just not talked to them at all today instead of trying to explain what was going on to them.

  I started to get up, but someone else gently pushed me back down.

  “Nice try, Dar,” Brendan said. “You’re not getting rid of us that easily. Even if you’re not up for talking right now, we’ll just sit here with you.”

  Naomi set her tray down on the table across from me, then walked over and gave me a hug. “I can tell something’s going on with you, sweetie. If you don’t want to tell me about it, that’s fine, but let me be here for you. Okay?”

  “Why?” I whispered, swiping at my cheeks with the sleeve of my hoodie. “I don’t deserve it.”

  “Kate, do you mind?” Brendan asked.

  She chuckled. “Not a bit.”

  She got up and walked to the other side of the table, and Brendan took her place. As soon as he set his tray down, he pulled me into his arms and rubbed my back, while Ashton scooted closer to me on the bench and hugged the arm that was closest to them. I couldn’t help leaning into Brendan’s hug, even though it just made me cry even more. Why did he have to give such amazing hugs?

  “You know why your dad told you not to talk to us, right?” Brendan murmured.

  “Because I kept something from him. That’s lying by omission, and it’s a sin,” I sniffled.

  “Nope. He did it because he wanted to try to make us stop talking to you. He thought we’d get upset with you because you blew us off and that you’d lose your friends because of it. This isn’t about you not telling him about Kate and Ash, or about me giving you a hug at church last night. It’s about him trying to control everyone you talk to and everything you do, even when he can’t see you. And it’s not okay. Human beings aren’t meant to be solitary. We need social contact. We need friendship. Don’t shut us out, Dar. Let us be here for you, even if all we do is sit here and eat this disgusting crap they’re trying to pass off as pizza and don’t say a word.”

  “I vote that as soon as you’re not grounded anymore, we all go out for real pizza,” Kate said.

  “I’m down,” Brendan said. “I’ll even volunteer the wheels, since none of you youngsters can drive.”

  “Your tiny car would fit like one and a half of us,” Naomi snickered. “By the way, is someone going to introduce me?”

  I took a deep breath, trying to calm my tears. “Sorry. Kate, Ashton, this is Naomi. Yes, she goes to church with us, and yes, she’s also accepting. Naomi, Kate’s the one sitting next to you, and this weirdo who won’t let go of my arm is Ash. Also, Ash goes by ‘they.’”

  Ashton snickered as they let go of me. “Hey, you needed a hug. I was just delivering.”

  “And what about the other weirdo who won’t let go of the rest of you?” Naomi giggled.

  I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I was never going to hear the end of this. Why did my fair skin have to go and betray me by letting the world know I had a crush on Brendan? Now all of my friends had ammunition to use against me until the end of time, not to mention that he could see right through me.

  “Remind me why I’m breaking my dad’s rules for you guys?” I mumbled into my palms.

  “Because you love us,” Ashton said.

  “Okay, enough giving Darla a hard time,” Brendan chuckled as he moved just one of his arms. “We’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making her regret ever knowing us.”

  I snorted as I grabbed my tomato-sauce-and-cheese-covered cardboard and took a bite. Yeah, maybe I was embarrassed right now, but even so, I didn’t think I could ever regret knowing any of these people. They’d refused to let me sit here and wallow in my misery, and they’d refused to let me push them away because I was trying to obey my father.

  Brendan was right. People did need friends. And I’d found four amazing ones who had proven that they were here for me, no matter what.

  Chapter 7

  Brendan

  Acoustic #3

  “The Book of Proverbs tells us, ‘Do not hold back discipline from the child. Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol,’” Pastor Jones said as he walked up to the pulpit on Sunday morning.

  Those words were all I needed to wake up. My parents had decided to go to the early service this morning, so I was dragging, but hearing Darla’s father start preaching about disciplining children had all of the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

  “Children are born into sin,” he continued. “We all are born into sin. And we all require discipline to ensure that we’re following in the path of the Lord. Children don’t know how to follow that path. It must be taught to them. It must be instilled in them every moment of every day. Because the second you take your eyes off of them, it’s their natural instinct to sin. Children will only seek pleasure. Gratification. They act on impulse, without thinking of the consequences. But the consequences aren’t only immediate. This is a matter of eternal life or eternal damnation!

  “Imagine that you’ve turned on the stove to cook your dinner. Your child sees the coil that’s normally gray turning bright, glowing red. Their natural instinct is going to be to inspect this new, different thing. When they reach out to touch the burning stove, you have two options. You can use the rod of discipline and strike them before they damage themselves, or you can allow them t
o touch the stove and sear their flesh. Striking them might hurt them, but it won’t kill them. And it will prevent them from doing much greater harm to themselves by touching that burning stove.”

  I heard various murmurs of “yes” and “amen” sounding around me, and I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t imagining this, because I literally could not believe what I was hearing. Was our pastor really standing up there and using his position as a leader to advocate hurting children?

  I mean, the hot stove analogy was one thing. Hell, I’d actually smacked Nathan’s hand away from a hot burner at one point. But Pastor Jones kept repeating the word “strike,” and that scared me. Not for myself. Not even because he was telling an entire congregation of people that it was okay to hit their children.

  No, hearing this scared me because I couldn’t help wondering what he was doing to his daughter that made him feel like he had to justify it with Scripture. I’d been worried about Darla for years. I’d known for a long time that something wasn’t right. I’d seen the way she physically shrank away from her father whenever he was in the same room. I’d felt her flinch in my arms when he yelled at her. Just this week, I’d heard about him forbidding her from talking to anyone at church or school, and she was so scared of the consequences of him finding out she’d disobeyed him that she’d barely said two words to any of our group of friends since Thursday. None of us had given up on her, and we’d all made sure that she knew we weren’t going anywhere, no matter what. But the fact that she was that afraid of further discipline if she said a word wasn’t okay. It wasn’t normal.

  I stole a glance at the front of the church, where the girl in question was sitting silently with her mother. Her eyes were wide, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing any more than I could, and I could have sworn I saw fear flashing across her face too. The same fear I’d seen from her a thousand times.