Gaia Awakened

by Cassie Thorne

  The red rose dissolves into my skin.

  Something shifts inside my mind.

  I blink hard, and Aidan transforms before my eyes. I don’t mean he’s changed into a dragon or anything. He just suddenly looks different to me, as if a bright light has started illuminating familiar features that were shadowed before.

  Oh God.

  Oh my freaking God.

  He is Summer.

  I can’t explain it. I know he’s Aidan and we just met in the bookstore. I know he’s the guy I’ve been falling for ever since we met. But at the same time he’s somehow Summer brought back to life, as if he finally emerged from the collapsed building after all this time.

  Because Aidan is looking at me, he can see the drastic shift in my expression. The scattering of tears from my eyes. The twisting of my lips as I vacillate between unbelievably happy and heartbreakingly sad. I don’t understand how any of this is happening. I don’t understand how any of it could be possible.

  But a day ago, I didn’t believe magic could be possible. And look where I am now.

  A world where magic somehow exists.

  A world where I alternately fight and save dragons.

  A world where Summer tore his way through death and came back to me.

  Aidan grips my shoulders with both hands. “You know me.”

  His face is just as raw and emotional as mine. I recognize the spark of interest in his warm green eyes. I recognize the vibe he’s giving off, of love and understanding and desire. I finally recognize his musk, the one I’ve found so tempting, to be the exact same scent as Summer’s cologne.

  I recognize him. And he recognizes me.

  And somehow nothing else matters.

  I don’t know which one of us moves first. It could be him, but it just as easily might be me. There’s a flurry of motion and then my legs are tight around his waist and he’s kissing me with an aching need that resonates between us with equal intensity. I kiss him back, and this time it’s not because he reminds me of Summer or makes me forget about Summer.

  It’s because he is Summer.

  My fingers tangle in Aidan’s hair, pulling him as close to me as possible. His hands release a burst of magic through our clothes, transforming the fabric into layers of green leaves that fall away instantly.

  I’m as naked as he is.

  We fall onto my moss-covered bed together, still kissing desperately without pausing for air, as if the other person will disappear if we stop for even a second. I’m barely aware of where I am. All I know is that the world is suddenly brimming with sunshine again. Everything is bursting with colors and flavors and feelings I thought I’d forgotten.

  But I didn’t forget. I just didn’t let myself remember, because it would have hurt too much to think about what I’d lost.

  But somehow the world has blossomed and I feel warm again. Alive again.

  This is the end of my eternity.

  We kiss and we kiss until I swear electricity is literally crackling through the air between us. The feeling of Aidan’s skin against mine is almost too much to bear. His lips trace the curve of my throat and the line of my sternum, all the way down to my breasts, and I gasp as a wave of electricity shoots straight into my core.

  This is the flash of memory I had when I first met Aidan in the bookstore. Somehow I was able to see it happen before it even seemed within the realm of possibility.

  I’m still Paige. But I used to be someone else too, someone with more power than I could ever imagine.

  Everything Aidan said is true.

  He kisses his way back up to my lips before gazing down at me. His body is warm and hard against mine, and his musk is filling every breath I take. I curve my lips into a trembling smile.

  Despite the tears in my eyes, it’s the most genuine smile of my entire life.

  Our eyes remain locked together as he slowly sinks into me, gratifying the part of me that’s been aching with need. I manage to hang on as he fills me repeatedly, again and again, the familiar presence of him inside me pulling me out of a colorless world and bringing me back to life.

  When we finally come together, his lips consume mine and I feel an explosion of power between us: lightning and ice and rain and wind all swirling together into a breathtaking high, only faintly undercut by the bittersweet feeling of regaining something we didn’t even realize we’d lost until now.

  All that matters is we’ve found each other again, and the world no longer feels empty but real.

  Raw.

  Colorful.

  Vibrant.

  Alive.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Aidan

  I watch as Paige sets a fresh pot of coffee and two empty mugs on the moss between us. Even though she’s definitely human, she’s also a goddess in so many ways it’s fucking incredible. Her strawberry scent is clinging to every inch of my skin even now. She begged mercy after we had sex for the fourth time.

  I could have kept going forever.

  But we’re both still coming to terms with what happened. It was never possible for me to resurrect Gaia. I understand that now. If I’d known the truth earlier, I never would have asked Queen Titania to find the memory spell. I wouldn’t even have searched for The Goddess Codex.

  But I never expected Paige to actually be Gaia. I wasn’t lying when I said they aren’t the same person. Paige is so deeply human that I have no doubt whatsoever about her identity. I loved and worshipped Gaia for millennia. But that’s something I know with my head, you know? Not my heart.

  What I feel for Paige is something I haven’t felt in a very long time.

  Maybe ever.

  I pick up the coffee pot and pour the steaming liquid into the mugs. Paige glances at me in surprise before her lips curve into a smile. Maybe she doesn’t remember Summer ever pouring coffee for her. I’m careful not to spill a single drop.

  “Thanks,” says Paige, watching me.

  “Any time.” I’m not sure if she catches the meaning in my tone. It feels like coffee is a post-coital ritual for her, unless I’m wrong. But then she blushes and glances down at her mug.

  Looks like I’m right.

  “I’m not Gaia.” Her voice is quiet but firm.

  “I know you aren’t,” I say, settling back with my coffee. “We kept the memory spell from reversing what was done to us.”

  “And what was that, exactly?”

  I shake my head. “All I know is Gaia gave us new identities and changed how we remembered each other. A reincarnation spell, maybe. We both thought the other died in a fire. But I never would have forgotten you. Not really.”

  “I guess I didn’t forget you either.” Paige gives a small hiccup of a laugh. “It’s like I entered the witness protection program, but I had to change my past memories to keep myself safe. I had to become someone else to save the world. And you had to become someone else, too. But we somehow managed to find each other and fall in love anyway.”

  “That’s because you and I are inevitable,” I say. “You know that, right?”

  She smiles at me. “I think so.”

  Before I can say anything else, a sharp pain cuts into my chest again. I can barely keep myself from grimacing this time. Fuck. I might actually have to take Titania’s advice and get my heart checked out. After I make sure Paige is okay, of course.

  After I make sure we’re okay.

  “How much do you remember?” I ask her.

  “Not much,” she says, not seeming to notice my physical discomfort. “It’s like I have a library of Gaia’s memories inside my mind. Some of the books are partially complete, while most are blank inside and out. But I don’t want to know what they say, Aidan. I don’t want to be a goddess just as much as you don’t want to be a dragon.”

  That makes sense. Her soul has existed for millennia, but she only remembers this part of it. Neither of us wants to be something we’re not. Neither of us wants to be something other than human.

  I lean forward and look directly int
o Paige’s eyes. She needs to understand what I’m saying right now. Her lips are trembling with anticipation, but neither of us looks away or even blinks.

  I touch my palm to her chest, refusing to be distracted by her alluring scent.

  Based on her quickened breathing, she feels the same way I do right now.

  “Gaia’s heart didn’t beat like yours,” I say quietly. “Think about the way you feel when you look into my eyes. The way you feel when you worry about Willow. The way you feel when you remember Summer dying in a fire. That’s all you, Paige. You will always be human through and through, and nothing will ever change that.”

  She gazes at me for a long moment before leaning forward and kissing me. Nothing else needs to be said. Her lips are soothing the pain inside my heart, and it’s like she’s practically breathing life into me.

  I could do this forever.

  But eventually Paige pulls away and picks up her mug, taking a small sip of coffee. She’s working up the courage to say something. “So tell me about Gaia,” she says finally. “I know she was a goddess with magic, but I’m not sure what she was capable of doing.” She hesitates. “What I’m capable of doing.”

  Well, that’s a relief. Paige just wants to hear about her past, which means it’ll be easier for me to explain why she needs to protect herself. But I don’t have time to tell her everything. If Jasper could sense her power before, he sure as hell won’t be able to stop sensing her now. It won’t be long before he starts putting the pieces together and figures out who she is. At which point he’ll use every spell in the book to seize her again.

  And this time he won’t make the mistake of leaving her where I can find her.

  But for now we’re safe in her apartment, and we’re finally together in every sense of the word. It’s warm and comfortable and just feels right, you know?

  I want to stay in this moment for as long as humanly possible.

  “It’s a long story,” I begin. “Gaia ruled the Earth Realm with earthwater, the most powerful type of magic in existence. She tried to protect life from death, but there was too much cruelty in the world. Eventually she created the four seasonal realms and exiled wild magic from the planet. Humankind was able to survive because of her, and they called her Mother Earth. Does any of that sound familiar so far?”

  Paige looks at me uncertainly. “It sounds like a fairy tale. And it also sounds insane.”

  But she doesn’t say anything else, which means she’s willing to hear the rest of it. I can see that look in her eyes. She knows I’m talking about her own past, even if she doesn’t remember it. She wants to know more without having to lose herself.

  I’m the only one who can tell her.

  “Jasper started trying to take over the Earth Realm a long time ago,” I continue. “He won minor victories every once in a while, but Gaia was always there to stop him. When he started gaining too much power and weakened her after a battle, she hid in a glass casket in the Spring Realm. As long as she remained safe, Jasper couldn’t touch her or the other realms. He couldn’t win the war.”

  “But something happened,” Paige says, her eyes on me.

  I nod. “An army from the Winter Realm found Gaia. I didn’t return in time to protect her, and I thought I watched the goddess burn. I don’t know what really happened, but from my perspective she died because of me. Because I was too wrapped up in my own power to save her. After her death, I began searching for The Goddess Codex and vowed never to return to my dragon form. I’ve been looking ever since.”

  A tear rolls down Paige’s face. “You were in pain.”

  “I deserved it.”

  “No,” she says, her voice trembling. “Not after the fire. At the beginning of time. Your body was filled with lightstorm, but your pain was what drew Gaia to you. There was so much of it. She could sense it even from across the world.” She shudders slightly. “There were bodies behind you in a cave. Surrounding you.”

  There’s another stab in my chest, the most agonizing one yet. I haven’t thought about that night in fucking forever. But Paige needs to hear the full story. It’s one of the defining moments of my existence, and I want her to know me.

  I want her to know all of me.

  “I started out human,” I say slowly. “Not demigod, not dragon. I had a mother and father. Brothers and sisters. As the eldest child and first son, I was the designated protector of my family. One night, my youngest sister Maeve ran away from the caves where we lived. She was searching for her pet. A baby rabbit, I think. But when I found her, she was bleeding to death in the forest. Her body had been mauled, her throat ripped wide open. By the time I carried her back to the caves, the rest of my family had met the same fate. A pack of snow wolves had killed them all. That was when Gaia found me. She put all the world’s lightstorm into me...”

  I trail off. My body almost shredded into lightning after that. Gaia knew I could contain the lightstorm because of how much I already had in my blood, so it wasn’t like she was killing me. But I almost died anyway. I kept shifting into a half-dragon, and then a tempest composed solely of lightstorm, and then a shivering man, and then all of it all over again.

  It was hell on earth.

  But Gaia helped me through it. She kissed me and kept kissing me, even as I kept shifting back and forth between different forms. My body was filled with pain. My world and everything in it was filled with pain.

  But eventually, between her soothing whispers and gentle caresses, my skin hardened into scales as my shoulder blades grew into leathery wings. By the end of it, I was able to shift into a full dragon and wield the raw lightstorm in me like a true demigod.

  The entire process only took about a century.

  Paige is observing me with bright eyes. “She hurt you. I hurt you. By turning you into something that wasn’t human.”

  “Part of me is still human.”

  “But part of you isn’t.”

  “She did what was best.”

  “For the world and for humankind. But not for you.”

  Paige won’t look away. She’s flat-out refusing to look away, even though I’m pretty sure my hunched shoulders and averted gaze are broadcasting my desire to avoid this topic. I can’t look at her. I’m actually terrified of looking at her.

  I don’t want to see the pity in her eyes.

  It was the only emotion that filled Gaia’s eyes at first, and I hated it. So I started hiding the pain from her. I let her think I was fine, and I tried so hard that I eventually tricked myself into believing it.

  But things weren’t fine, were they?

  If they were, I would have been able to stay in human form.

  I would have gone back to the tower and watched over Gaia every day.

  I would have remained by her glass casket instead of turning into a dragon. Again and again.

  I’ll hide the pain from Paige too, if that’s what it takes.

  But when I look at her, she isn’t gazing at me with pity at all. Instead her blue and green eyes are filled with something else, something I didn’t even realize I wanted until now.

  Empathy.

  Paige knows what it’s like to be human and have unimaginable power inside her. Power she doesn’t understand. Power she’s terrified she might not be able to control. It’s how I felt when I became a demigod. It’s kind of how I always feel. She understands me more completely than anyone else ever has.

  Unlike Gaia, she is like me.

  “It doesn’t matter what the goddess did to me.” I can’t keep the growl out of my voice. “The only thing I care about now is what happens to you. It’s only a matter of time before Jasper attacks again, and you need to learn how to protect yourself before that happens.”

  “He proposed to me,” Paige whispers. Her face turns pale, remembering. “He said he could sense the hellfrost in me, and he wanted me to rule beside him. He wanted me to be his bride.”

  “I know.” I’m trying not to clench my hands into fists. I’m only partially succe
ssful. “I don’t know if you remember Tria, the ruler of the Spring Realm. Long hair with a tower, claims to be the inspiration for Rapunzel? Well, I had to go through her to enter the Winter Realm. She told me about the proposal and the binding spell.”

  “What spell?”

  “When she created the seasonal demigods, Gaia used binding spells to confine us to our realms. Jasper was able to break his a long time ago, but apparently a trace still remains in his blood. That’s enough for it to be reinforced.”

  “I’m the only one who can reinforce it,” she says, understanding my meaning. “Because I have Gaia’s power.”

  I nod. “You’re the only one who can stop Jasper from freezing the planet and everything on it.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Paige says. “So how do I reinforce the binding spell?”

  “I’m not sure,” I admit. “You’ll probably have to face Jasper again, but I don’t know what words you’d need to speak. We might have to keep searching for The Goddess Codex if we can’t find anyone who knows the spell.”

  She presses the tips of her fingers against her forehead in frustration. “I wish I could remember the important parts. Without having to lose myself, I mean.”

  We’re silent for a moment.

  “Rowan,” I say suddenly.

  Paige glances at me. “Who’s that?”

  “The ruler of the Autumn Realm,” I explain. “He’s kind of a loner who surrounds himself with animals. But he spends most of his time cataloguing magical creatures and researching new potions and spells, so he has a pretty extensive woodland archive. He told me where to find you. He might know how to reinforce the binding spell.”

  And how to get rid of the pain still in my chest. It’s really starting to get on my fucking nerves. I haven’t felt this much discomfort since an enchanted sword found its way between my scales back in the tenth century.

  “Another library?” Paige says, smiling. “You’re spoiling me, Aidan.”

  I laugh. “If you want to go now, I have an open invitation to the Autumn Realm.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I can create a portal to his realm whenever I want.”

  “So do it, then.” Her voice is challenging, though her gaze is playful.