One More Song

by Seabrook, C. M.

  “You don’t know who he is. What he’s capable of.”

  “Did he hurt you?” My teeth grind together as I wait for her answer, but she doesn’t need to say anything because I see the truth in her eyes.

  “The thought of him taking Cadence away is worse than anything he ever did.”

  “He won’t win. You’re an incredible mom, and—”

  “And a convicted drug dealer.”

  I pull back, frowning at her, not believing it for a second. Sure, there’s a wildness inside her, a rebellious streak that still itches to get out, but there’s no way she was ever into that kind of shit.

  “I told you, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Tears stream down her cheek and when she pulls away this time, I let her. She starts to pace, and her words flow out of her from some dark place where I know they’ve been contained, unspoken for far too long. “Mitch wasn’t making any money with his music, so he started dealing on the side.”

  She stops for a second and takes a deep breath.

  “I didn’t know at first. I mean I guess I suspected, but I just thought it was marijuana, not the heavy stuff. We were living out in a run-down motel when the cops raided the place.” She closes her eyes and a shiver wracks her body. “I didn’t know what was going on. Mitch begged me to take the blame—”

  “Fucker,” I growl out, trying my best to contain my anger, but unable to.

  “He said that they wouldn’t prosecute me, because I was a minor, and if they did, I’d only get a slap on the wrist because I’d never been in trouble before.” She rubs her bare arms.

  “So you took the fall?”

  She nods. “I spent a few months in jail. That’s when I found out I was pregnant—”

  “Shit, Ember.”

  “When they released me, all I wanted to do was go home. Beg my parents to take me back. I know they would have. But...” She looks away. “Mitch convinced me to stay with him. God, I was such an idiot.”

  I stand and wrap my arms around her. “You were young.”

  She looks up at me and blinks. “So what’s my excuse now?”

  I know what she’s referring to me. And it hurts thinking she’s comparing me to that asshole. “I’d never put you in that situation.”

  “I know,” she says, but she’s still frowning, and I know there’s a part of her that doesn’t trust me.

  “I won’t hurt you, Ember.” And I mean it. I’ve only known the woman a week, and I’m already making promises. Promises I don’t know if I can keep, as much as I want to.

  “This won’t end well, Ash.”

  “Why do we have to talk about endings when this thing between us has just begun?” I ask, my hand on her cheek. Wishing we had more time to be alone.

  “Lines like that will get you another hit song,” she says, looking over the living room where the band’s instruments are spread out.

  “Speaking of which, I need the guys to believe me when I say I’m serious about righting my wrongs.”

  Ember nods, leaning in and kissing my cheek. “Go make some music,” she says. “And later ...”

  I give her a grin, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “We can make some noise?”

  She laughs, batting my chest. “No! Remember, this is supposed to be on the down-low.”

  “I think the guys know what I’m up to.”

  “Does that bother you?” she asks.

  I swallow, knowing this thing with her couldn’t have come at a worse time. “Let’s take it one step at a time.”

  Ember nods, looking out the back window, Cadence is running around with my bandmates, playing a game of tag. “She seems happy,” Ember says softly. “Maybe Mitch is right, maybe—”

  “Don’t. One step at a time, Ember.” I may know next to nothing about kids, but I know a lot about single moms. And she is beating herself up for nothing.

  My words seem to be the ones she needs to hear. “Then my next step will be getting my daughter in the kitchen so she can help me make a big Sunday supper.”

  “Is that a thing you usually do?” I ask.

  “No. But I don’t usually have four grown men in my house.” Ember laughs, swatting my ass before walking away. “And I think this afternoon proves you have quite an appetite.”

  She heads outside, and I watch her go. Her curvy backside sashaying as she walks and my cock growls. Hungry for more.

  For everything.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ember

  I wake up with a smile stuck on my face. For the past two weeks, Ash and I have been spending hours in my bed each night. When dawn hits, I always kick him out, not wanting my daughter to see. He understands, kissing my breasts, his hand on my still wet pussy. He leaves me to sleep the last few hours alone in bed, and when the alarm forces me up, I feel rested even though I’m not getting near as much sleep as I’m used to.

  As I move around the kitchen in my terrycloth robe, making a pot of coffee and pulling out milk and cereal, I realize I haven’t felt such a lightness in my chest for years. Years.

  The reality hits me like a ton of bricks as Cadence jumps onto a stool at the kitchen island. She’s growing up so fast. I want her childhood to be happy, not witnessing her parents fighting at every turn, not wondering where her loyalty should lie. She’s just a little girl. I glance at my phone, knowing I need to talk to Mitch sooner than later. I’ve been putting off responding to his text for three days.

  I want Cadence at my house on Saturday to spend time with Deb.

  I’m not threatened by her... but I don’t think I’m ready to let another woman into my daughter’s life.

  “Mom, are you listening?” Cadence asks.

  I pour her a bowl of cereal, determined to be more present. “What, honey?”

  “I was wondering, since it’s Friday, if we could have pizza and play a game tonight?”

  I smile. “That sounds awesome. Want to invite anyone from school over?”

  Cadence takes a bite of cereal before answering. “I was thinking maybe the band would want to play?”

  “Play what?” Dusky asks, coming into the kitchen, tousling her hair before walking to the coffee pot. He’s a natural with Cadence, and it turns out he grew up with lots of siblings. Synn, Saint, and Ash enter the kitchen as if on cue. The six of us have fallen into a morning routine. The guys start practice right after I take Cadence to the bus each day and wrap up their work about the time she gets home.

  “Pizza and board game tonight?” Cadence says, her voice full of hope looking at the world-class rock band as if they are members of her extended family. “Or Pictionary. What about Pictionary?”

  “I love ‘em, lass. I’m in.” Dusky’s smiles causes one to break out across my own face. It feels so good to see my little girl so happy, it’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.

  “Sounds great,” Saint says, offering her a high five.

  “I don’t know,” Synn says with an exaggerated frown. “I’m not that great of an artist.”

  Cadence takes his comment utterly seriously. “Oh, I’m not either, Synn. Not like my mom. She’s the best at drawing, in the whole wide world, but we just have to do our best. That’s enough, Mom says so at least.”

  “You’re an artist?” Saint asks, turning to me in surprise. I meet Ash’s eyes for a split second, realizing he is the only person in this room who has seen my sketches. While the guys practice during the day, I usually find myself slipping to my bedroom, letting my mind go and my hand move to the music the band makes in the living room.

  “I wouldn’t say artist.” I busy myself with pouring another cup of coffee. “I like to sketch house plants. Nothing fancy.”

  “House plants?” Synn lifts his eyebrows.

  “It’s silly, but you know that coloring book craze a few years back? I quickly realized I didn’t like coloring within the lines, so I started drawing the first thing I saw. It was a bright green succulent sitting on this very kitchen counter. I realized it was really relaxi
ng so I went with it.”

  “She’s really good,” Ash says. “You should show the guys.”

  I feel my cheeks redden and I try to laugh off the suggestion. I am nowhere near ready to show these talented men my drawings. “How about I show off my skills tonight at Pictionary?”

  “If it’s showing off skills we’re after,” Ash says. “Can I make the pizzas?”

  Cadence’s eyes grow big as saucers. “You can make pizza?”

  “Yeah, but I’ll need some help.” He twists his lips, acting like he isn’t sure who to ask. “Not sure if I can find anyone,” he says, looking right at her.

  “Oh, I can help! I even have an apron!” Cadence’s eyes are so bright I swear the kitchen collectively melts. Which is saying something for these rough and wild guys.

  “Perfect,” Ash says. “It’s a date.”

  * * *

  I step into the kitchen with a smile, my heart so warm at witnessing this unlikely pair. Ash has Cadence in a fit of giggles, and they are both covered in flour. Pizza dough is spread on cookie sheets and they are adding cheese and pepperoni to the pies.

  “No moms in the kitchen ’til dinner!” Cadence says, waving me away.

  “Wow, bossy,” I say with a laugh. “But I was just getting myself a glass of wine, then I’ll be out of your way.”

  Ash’s eyes meet mine and warmth runs up my spine. He found me in the garden this afternoon during the band’s lunch break and told me there was only one thing he wanted.

  “What’s that?” I’d asked, garden gloves on, a spade in hand.

  “To make you come tonight. Over and over again.”

  I’d wanted him to take me then and there, but Saint called for him from the back porch; their break was over.

  My mind has been distracted for the last several hours .... because every time I see Ash, all I can think about is his tongue running up and down my slit.

  Even now, I feel hot thinking about it. I reach for the white wine in the fridge, needing to cool off instead of warm back up. After pouring myself a glass, I lift it as I walk out of the house to the back yard. “I could get used to this, you know,” I say playfully to Ash and Cadence. “Having in-house chefs isn’t too shabby!”

  They laugh and I close the door behind me, moving to a lounge chair and taking my phone from my pocket. I call Millie, having missed her the last few days. Her family took a long weekend trip to the coast, and I miss my girlfriend time.

  “Hey,” she says, picking up right away. “How’s it going with all the testosterone in the house?”

  I fill her in on the last few days, even sneakily taking a photo through the window of Ash and Cadence in the kitchen together.

  “Okay,” she says when she’s received the photo text. “That’s freaking adorable.”

  “I know.” I let out a sigh. “I think we are getting serious.”

  “And why does that make you sound so sad?”

  I groan. “Mill, there are a thousand reasons why this all stresses me out.” Taking a sip of wine, I try to change the subject. “Tell me about the trip. Is the weather nice?”

  Millie laughs. “I am so not talking to you about the weather. What’s really on your mind, girl? You wouldn’t have called unless something was stressing you out.”

  I exhale, grateful for a friendship like ours. I may not have shared everything about myself with her, but she knows me well enough to know something is bothering me. “It’s Mitch, he’s pressing the Deb thing.”

  “Why does it scare you so much?”

  “Because Cadence is all I have in the world,” I admit. “I don’t want to lose her to Deb.”

  Millie is silent for a moment and I know she is considering her words. “That’s kind of a lot of pressure to put on a kid, isn’t it?”

  Shame floods my chest. Knowing immediately that Millie is right. It’s not fair to my daughter to demand so much of her. “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”

  “I’m saying this in the kindest way possible, Em. But maybe the timing is right here, Ash entered your life the same time Deb entered Mitch’s. Maybe it’s a chance for everyone to move on a bit.”

  “It’s not so simple, Millie. Mitch is an asshole.”

  “People change, maybe it’s time for you to let him prove himself.”

  It’s not that I want to argue with Millie, but it seems too good to be true to think that Mitch has really changed.

  But I’ve changed, and I want Mitch to believe that about me.

  Maybe I need to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  “It would be a hell of a lot easier if he didn’t let her watch The Walking Dead and fill her tummy with Sour Patch Kids.”

  “Maybe you should let him have her tomorrow night, but set down some ground rules.”

  Her advice makes sense, and maybe I am holding onto the reins too tightly.

  “And it means another night with Ash,” Millie says.

  I laugh. “Speaking of which, you planning any more threesomes I should know about?”

  Millie laughs. “None in the works, but I’ll let you know.”

  “You better,” I say, just as Cadence calls out that pizza is ready. “Okay, I gotta go, it’s dinnertime.”

  “Love you, girl. And chin up. I mean, really, you’ve got nothing to complain about. One of the hottest rock stars in the world is sharing your bed.”

  I hang up and head inside, appreciating her no-nonsense perspective. Millie is right of course - and as I walk into the house, I feel that sentiment now more than ever.

  My daughter is beaming as Saint swings her in the air, Dusky’s setting up an easel for Pictionary, and Synn is pouring wine into glasses. Ash is putting on music and my heart surges with happiness.

  Maybe everything happens for a reason.

  Maybe my reason was this. Right here, right now.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ash

  Pizza and game night was a blast, and the tongue flicking in her bed that took place afterward was more than fucking memorable - it was delicious. God, Ember makes me want to never leave her bed again.

  But the next day, Ember looks emotionally drained. It’s not until she tells me that she’s decided to let Cadence stay at Mitch’s for a sleepover that I understand why.

  I give her space, knowing she wants to be with her daughter, and when I see them together at the kitchen table, with paintbrushes and thick paper spread across the surface, a palette of colors out, I know she needs time alone with her little girl. While they paint watercolor pictures, I pull out my journal and work on another song... this one inspired by the bond they share, the love between mother and child.

  Tears fill my fucking eyes, knowing I owe my ma a phone call, but I put it off again. If I spoke to her right now, I’d sound like more of a mess than I was when I left her place for this three-month hiatus in the middle of nowhere.

  Ember is changing me...making me think about life in a way I never have before.

  And I need my head on straight before I let my ma start peeling back my layers and getting to the heart of things. She’s always been able to read me well. And after the year I’ve put her through, I refuse to give her any more reason for heartache.

  After Cadence leaves for Mitch’s, I have a feeling what Ember really needs is to disappear mentally. I knock on her bedroom door and slip inside, her eyes are red, and it’s clear she’s been crying.

  “Hey,” I whisper. “It’s okay.”

  “I’m so glad I don’t have to be alone right now,” she says, her eyes meeting mine, our mutual need so damn clear.

  I move to her, pulling her into my arms, my lips covering hers, my hunger fueled by a protectiveness that I still don’t understand. A fuse was lit inside me the first time I laid eyes on her, and every touch, every moment I spend with her only ignites the flame higher, stronger, and I know I’m on the verge of destruction.

  Ember, this house, this life she’s created, it’s the total antithesis of who I am.

&
nbsp; And yet I’m drawn to her like a drowning man.

  Kissing her, I know this is the first time I’ve really breathed in years. My own flame was snuffed out by alcohol, drugs, fame...and finally guilt. My world had been built out of straw and I’d burned it down until nothing was left but ashes.

  With Ember, I feel like I can rebuild, create something new, something that can withstand the fire, the passion...a place we can both burn bright.

  Her arms wrap around my neck, her mouth fighting for control of the kiss, and she groans when I lift her up and carry her to the bed.

  “Ash,” she groans, her body telling me everything I need to know.

  She needs my touch. Craves it. And when I hold her gaze, my chest explodes in emotions I’m unprepared for.

  I’ve never been sentimental. Never really believed in love. Not the kind that connects two people for life. Always thought that shit was for suckers.

  But now...

  I breathe out a harsh breath.

  Shit.

  Ember rests a palm on my cheek, those golden-brown eyes studying me, a question there that she doesn’t ask - what is this?

  I rest my forehead against hers and blow out an uneven breath, because I have no fucking clue. All I know is I don’t want it to end.

  I kiss her again, this time slower, but the fire is still there, like molten lava running through my veins. And I know I’ve never felt anything like it. The passion. The need. Possessiveness.

  The love.

  I push the thought away, because it terrifies me.

  Ember’s fingers are the distraction I need as they find the hem of my shirt and push it up over my head. Her nails rasp over my back, down to my waist. A small, desperate whimper vibrates from her throat, and she kisses me, tugging at the button of my jeans.

  “Ash. I need...”

  I grin down at her, undressing her slowly, kissing her bare skin. “What do you need, sweetheart?”

  She blinks up at me, her cheeks filling with color. “To taste you.”