Our Gravity

by Tymber Dalton

  What Kira wanted, Kira would get.

  Even Dustin agreed with that. Who was he to deny her anything now? Even the thought of that was enough to make him feel like shit.

  She was fucking dying.

  Go to dinner? Sure.

  No problem.

  She again picked the backseat.

  Dustin turned. “Are you sure you don’t want to ride up here?”

  Her bright smile would be infectious if not for the backstory he knew lay beneath the surface. “Nope! I’m good.”

  At Sigalo’s, everyone welcomed them with open arms. Apparently, Bryce had called someone and told them they were coming, and the circumstances, because everyone conspicuously didn’t ask things like when she’d be looking for a job, or ask about what brought her to Sarasota.

  In fact, Loren stood and walked around the table, leaning in to speak with Bryce. “I’m a notary. I’d be happy to marry you guys, if you’d like. I’ll even come to the house. No charge.”

  Kira flashed a playful grin at Dustin before answering. “Well, he’s the dang Dom. I guess he should get a say.”

  Bryce rolled his eyes, but already Dustin could see the dynamic between the two, the years of friendship.

  In some ways, he envied Kira her years with Bryce.

  But probably not more than she envies my future with him.

  That thought hit him like a gut-punch, and the pain settled deep inside his soul.

  * * * *

  Bryce knew they didn’t need to call ahead and ask for places to be held for them tonight, but he’d wanted Walt to warn Seth, just in case. The last thing he needed was extra guilt over accidentally triggering Leah.

  But Seth and Leah had come out tonight, too, making a point of hugging them all when they’d arrived.

  When it came time to pay the check, Kira snatched it out of Bryce’s hand, her “fight me, bitch” playful, challenging smile on her face. A familiar battle between them.

  “Just because you’re marrying me doesn’t mean I’m some sort of kept woman.” She tucked her credit card into the holder and handed it to the waitress. “Got it?”

  Arguing wasn’t an option. It never was with Kira when she was in one of these playful moods.

  He snapped her a two-fingered salute from his temple. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Smartass. Hey, take me to the club. I want to see it.”

  Another point he couldn’t argue. Despite the way the outer edges of her eyes looked pinched with pain, whatever she wanted, he’d give her, if it was within his power to do so.

  They’d spent the morning talking while Dustin was working. She’d laid out the plan to Bryce, what she wanted, end-of-life care—everything.

  With a soul grated so raw he nearly felt numb, he’d listened and nodded and tried to compartmentalize all of it. The legalities versus the love he felt for her. In her time between finding out about her cancer and boarding her flight to Florida, she’d spent every free second researching Florida family law that would apply to their case to make sure she’d left nothing to chance.

  If she was still awake and aware when it came time to deliver the baby, that would be a minor miracle, but she’d take the win.

  Otherwise, Bryce was to authorize whatever measures had to be taken to keep her body functioning for the baby to survive.

  Once the baby was delivered via C-section, they were to withdraw all heroic measures and let Kira go.

  Period.

  He tried to pretend she was a client and couldn’t. “When are you telling Steve and Kate?”

  Beyond the obvious, that was the second thing that left a sour taste in his mouth. He loved her parents almost as much as his own and hated keeping this a secret from them.

  “Not until we’re married and I’ve seen my doctors next week. I want to have an approximate timeline ready to discuss with them, because they’re going to ask when the baby will be delivered.”

  “You can’t guarantee that, though.”

  “No, but I need a best-case so they can start planning. They’ll want to be here for that.” She sadly smiled. “They can’t afford to raise another kid, B. I don’t know how much of my money my care expenses will eat through.” She’d even cashed in her retirement plans—everything. The only thing she had left was her life insurance, which she’d already changed to list Bryce as the sole beneficiary.

  “We can add me to your medical insurance, in case mine runs out. They’re supposed to pay six months of COBRA for me as part of the severance package. That’s…cutting it close. Raising a baby on top of that? Mom and Dad barely have enough for their retirement. I’m not sure they do have enough for retirement.”

  “Will they try to take custody from us?” He knew how Dustin felt about kids, but Dustin had opted to stay.

  That meant every iteration of every future thought Bryce had automatically included Dustin in it.

  He…had to.

  Contemplating Dustin not being there drove the breath out of him and took him out at the knees.

  I need him.

  “No, honey. Like I told you, I don’t think they will. Especially after I ask them not to and tell them that this is what I want. They love you. I’m sure they’ll love Dustin, too. Don’t be surprised if they figure out a way to move back to Florida, though. Mom hates Oklahoma. She was raised here.”

  Bryce shook himself out of his thoughts and focused on driving. When they reached the club, Kira filled out the forms and insisted on paying Bryce and Dustin’s entry fees, in addition to her own membership. And it was Tony, again, who would handle her orientation.

  Not that any of them expected her to play.

  Ever.

  She made a point of hooking her arms through both his and Dustin’s arms as they followed Tony around while he covered their rules. With that finished, they settled in at a table in the social area with a good view of the A-frame, where Scrye was setting up to tie a younger looking man, while the two older men with him eagerly watched. Bryce had seen them around the club before, and knew they were a poly triad, but couldn’t remember their names.

  “Oooh, they’re hot,” she said.

  Bryce gently poked her shoulder. “Hey. We’re getting married tomorrow.”

  “I can look. Besides, you get to fuck Dustin. Least I can do is perv vicariously.”

  “Fair point. Carry on.”

  “Don’t need no man’s permission to perv. Even the man I’m marrying.”

  He could see glimpses of his old Kira there, hidden just below the surface. Their playful banter, the gentle teasing that was never mean-spirited.

  If he pretended her scarf was merely a fashion statement and not hiding a deadly secret…

  “I don’t have a ring for you,” he said. “Sorry.”

  She leaned her head onto his shoulder. “I don’t want one,” she softly said, all kidding vanished from her tone. “You’ll wear one for Dustin, not me. That’s the way I want it.”

  He knew Dustin had heard her, from the way his hazel gaze met Bryce’s from her other side.

  “Sure, sweetie.” He kissed the top of her head. “Wifey gets whatever wifey wants. Happy wife, happy life.”

  She patted his thigh. “Thanks.”

  * * * *

  Kimbra, Eve, Loren and Ross, and Ed, their friend and another local attorney who came highly recommended by Kimbra, arrived at the house at ten the next morning. The bare-bones marriage ceremony was short, sweet, and to the point. Dustin took video and pictures to document it for later.

  For the baby, for them.

  Then Ed sat down with Kira and she showed him everything she’d already prepared.

  He nodded. “Looks like you don’t need my services, hon. You have it all set. This is exactly what I would have put in place for you.”

  “We need a local guy,” she said. “In case there’s any hitch and the hospital tries to overstep their boundaries.” The four of them were seated around the smaller kitchen table. “Like…” For the first time that morning
, she choked up. “Like if the baby dies, and the hospital—or my parents—still insist on trying to keep me alive at that point. Or if I’m conscious enough to refuse hydration and a feeding tube, and they want to try to take it to court to force me to have them.”

  Ed nodded. “Understood.”

  “I don’t want these two guys having to fight a battle,” she added. “If there’s any fighting to be done, I want a local guy in the trenches. I want B and Dustin focused on me and the baby. They’ll have enough to deal with.”

  Ed gathered all the papers together. “Under the circumstances, I’m going to waive my usual retainer fee. Bryce can file all of these for you himself. You don’t need me doing that. How about twenty-five dollars, just to keep it legit? I won’t charge you anything else unless you actually need me to go to bat for you for something, but you’re free to call me whenever you need to for consultations. Gratis.”

  It surprised Bryce when that was what drove her to full-on tears. “Are you sure?”

  Ed reached over and patted her hands. “I went through this with Kaden. He wasn’t just my friend, but my business partner. I saw what it did to Leah and Seth, and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. You guys can always call me with questions, day or night.”

  Ed pulled out a business card and wrote two numbers on the back, his personal cell and home numbers, and handed it to Bryce. “Seriously, even if it’s two a.m., you call me. No charge, either.”

  Bryce stared at the handwriting. “Not that I don’t appreciate this, because I do, but…why?”

  “Because Kaden would have done the same thing, and he’d kick my ass if I tried to charge you for advice in a case like this. But, mostly, because this is the right thing to do. You’ll have a rough enough time in the coming months. I won’t add to that.”

  Once they were alone again, settled on the couch, Kira slumped against Bryce. “I think I need to go lie down for a while.”

  “We need to get my bed moved over here for her,” Dustin said. “Know anyone with a truck we can ask for help today?”

  “I’ll make some calls.” Bryce left Kira with Dustin and walked down to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

  He needed a moment.

  He really needed a drink, but knew that couldn’t happen.

  If he started, he worried he might not stop.

  It only took him one call, to Kimbra, and she told him she’d call him right back. Five minutes later, she did, and told him the Collins brothers would be there in twenty with a truck to pick up Dustin.

  “Thank you.”

  “Honey, there is a virtual army waiting in the wings for you to reach out. Seth already spread the word. My e-mail is legit slap full of people wanting to help, in any way you need it. You aren’t alone. All you need to do is ask, and someone will help. Whether it’s moving something or needing someone to come sit with her, it’s done. Just ask, boo.”

  He squeezed his eyes closed against the stinging prickle of tears struggling for freedom. “Thank you.”

  “Honey, that’s what friends do for each other. And at some point in the future, when you get a chance to pay it forward, you do. Except you’ve already built up a bank on paying it forward, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “How?”

  “All those pro bono cases you handle. You’re a good man. You help people. Let us help you, for a change.”

  When he finally got off the phone with her, he felt…drained. But in a good way. He washed his face before returning to the living room to give them an update, and so that Dustin could get ready.

  By eight that night, not only had the Collins brothers moved the bed, they’d helped move all of Dustin’s furniture, the stuff that wouldn’t fit in a car, and it was now stored in Bryce’s garage. The rest of the stuff they could get over the next couple of weeks, a few boxes at a time, here and there.

  Kira had gone to bed, but Dustin stood in the garage, staring at his stuff. Bryce slipped his arms around him from behind. “Are you okay?”

  Dustin turned in his arms, holding him. “I honestly can’t believe you’re asking me that. That’s for me to ask you.”

  “I don’t want you to get lost in all of this.”

  “I won’t, Sir.”

  * * * *

  Dustin wasn’t worried about getting “lost.” For the first time in his adult life, he truly felt completely secure about his romantic partner. Bryce would not have asked him to stay, asked him to move in with him, if he didn’t love him. Even with all of…this.

  No, he wouldn’t be Bryce’s primary focus all of the time, and that was fine. He shouldn’t be. Kira needed to come first right now.

  Getting lost in it all? Not an issue. He’d always be there for Bryce, and Kira, a step behind and waiting and watching and ready to step in when they needed him.

  After…

  He’d try not to think about that. That was the only question mark, and it was one for him alone to ponder. He didn’t want Bryce stressing any more than necessary right now. In fact, Dustin wanted to do everything possible to make this as easy on them both as he could.

  That included volunteering to take her to doctor appointments. Fortunately, Bryce had to be in court on Monday and couldn’t take the day off. After driving to the courthouse in separate vehicles to file the marriage certificate, the three said good-bye.

  As Dustin drove her to her first appointment of the day, Kira explained. “I was ready to call an Uber to do this, if I had to. I really don’t want B at more of these than he needs to be. Not the oncologist. The obstetrician, that’s fine. But not the oncologist.”

  “Why?” He glanced at where she sat in the passenger seat. Today’s scarf was a pretty floral number in purples and pinks.

  “I don’t want his face rubbed in it. I want him to be part of everything to do with the baby, but I want to minimize his contact with the oncology team.”

  That nearly started Dustin crying. “Thank you.”

  She sniffled. “I love him. I have a lot of dreams that will never happen. At least one good thing might come out of all of this, and that’s maybe I can make B’s biggest dream come true.”

  Before Kira had left Dallas, she’d done her research and arranged urgent appointments. The oncologist was ready for her, but instead of being shown to an exam room, Dustin was a little thrown off to find themselves sitting in an office in front of a desk.

  Dr. Murphy didn’t keep them waiting long, and the soft-spoken man looked to be around Dustin’s age. “This is your husband?”

  “No, my husband’s boyfriend.” From the evil smile on Kira’s face, Dustin suspected she’d been waiting and hoping for that question.

  Bazinga.

  “Beg pardon?” the doctor asked.

  “I have reasons for marrying my husband besides the fact that he’s my best friend and we grew up together.”

  “And he’s the baby’s father?”

  “That’s what the birth certificate will say. Bryce and Dustin are gay. Bryce had to work today. I live with them, and…after, Dustin and Bryce are going to get married, and Dustin will adopt my baby.”

  “Ahh.”

  Dustin kept his mouth shut. The private doubts were for him alone, for now. He refused to add any emotional loads to Kira’s already overfull mental plate.

  “I reviewed the information your doctor sent me from Dallas,” Dr. Murphy said once he’d settled behind his desk. “I would like to talk about you getting another MRI.”

  “Why?”

  “I’d like current information. Based on my conversation with your doctors out there, you’re completely informed on what’s going to happen. I’d like to find out how fast this is all progressing.”

  “I’ll agree to a CT scan, but I’m not getting in an MRI machine. Not while I’m pregnant.”

  “There’s minimal risk.”

  “And that’s too much.” She offered him a wry smile. “If you think I’m stubborn now, just wait.”

  Dustin wondered if th
e doctor would be put off by her direct manner, but the man smiled. “I’m sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances, but I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy working with you.”

  “I’ll be one of your easiest cases.” She handed him a sheet of paper. “That’s my obstetrician’s information. We’re heading there after we’re done here. Your office and theirs should have the record-sharing permission forms. I sent them in when I did my paperwork before I left Dallas.”

  He looked. “We do.”

  “Let me tell you my goal,” she said. “My goal is doing whatever it takes to deliver a healthy baby. Once that goal is achieved, nothing else matters, and I want to die with what little dignity is left to me at that point. If my body gives out before then, whatever extraordinary measures are necessary to keep the baby alive and inside me for as long as possible needs to happen. Then when the baby is delivered, I’m allowed to die. It’s as simple as that.”

  Dustin tried to pay attention, knowing Bryce would likely grill him for every detail later that night, but they quickly veered into medical jargon and lost him. Obviously, Kira had done a lot of cramming for this, and even the doctor looked impressed at her knowledge.

  By the time they left, she had an appointment for a CT scan tomorrow morning. And before they left, he removed her surgical staples.

  Next stop was the high-risk obstetrician willing to take her case. He would coordinate with the oncology team to manage her care.

  “I was worried I might have to go up to St. Pete or Tampa,” she said. “But everyone I talked to said Dr. Salsburg is great.”

  As with the oncologist, Kira had obviously done her homework, although she did ask quite a few more questions of the doctor than she had Dr. Murphy, filling in places where she had knowledge gaps. And she took notes on her iPad. This time, they were in an exam room, and the doctor wanted to do an ultrasound with her exam, even though it was early in her pregnancy.

  When the doctor and nurse left her alone to let her change into the gown they’d left her, Dustin stood. “I’ll go wait out there.”

  “Why?”

  “Um…” He tried to think of a reason. “Because I’m not your husband?”