by E. V. White
She was thrown off guard by his response so she looked at Alex, then at Matt, then again finally back at Alex utterly confused.
“Why? No, I do not even know you,” she refused to follow him.
“My name is Alex and weʼve already met before. Youʼre freezing out here,” he tried to convince her.
Matt woke up from his stupor and moved closer to his friend.
“Bloody hell, mate, what are you doing?” he whispered.
“Exactly, what the bloody hell are you doing?” She mimicked.
Alex did not answer but stood there looking as if he was waiting for her to follow him. Matt was furious, both by his friendʼs attitude and her tone. He did not like how arrogant she was acting with a person she had just met.
He began to get apprehensive. He did not like the gleam he saw in Alexʼs eyes at all. He knew his friend was serious about taking her home; he could read it in his face.
“Please, Alex, let’s go home. She doesn’t want to come with you, leave her alone,” he begged, trying not to show all his frustration.
“Matt, please, fuck off,” Alex said with a smile, sitting down on the bench again.
Mattʼs eyes widened as the girlʼs did. He was enraged and could not stay there any longer; he was really tired of following his friend’s madness.
“You know what? Do whatever you want, I don’t care about you anymore,” he replied.
Alex looked at him grinning ear to ear.
“Finally. I thought you’d never leave,” he expressed with a fake smile on his face.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. As much as Alex had been his best friend for a lifetime, he had really hit rock bottom and Matt was no longer willing to sacrifice himself for him. He turned and walked away leaving him alone.
Alex was angry with Matt and all of his sudden interest in his life. He began to wonder if he was really worried about him or if it was all about the songs. It was a terrible thing to suspect but he had really become obsessive with those lyrics and Alex could no longer stand him, even for a minute longer. He turned to Emily again.
“So? Will you come or not? Iʼve just ditched my date for you,” he coaxed her, pointing to the empty space left by his friend.
Emily looked worried.
“Are you really serious? How could you even consider that someone who doesn’t know you would follow you to your home?” She asked in bewilderment.
“I donʼt know. You knocked on the door of your drug dealer who tried to fuck you in the middle of the road but you don’t trust me, the person who gave you a hot meal and a jacket. I should feel offended,” he provoked her with a grin and his rebellious attitude.
Emily seemed to be going over what had happened in the past few days and started to blush with embarrassment. Alex then realised that his words were too harsh, but it was perhaps the only way he could finally get a reaction from her.
“If you don’t come, Iʼll stay here with you,” he said, wrapping himself in his coat.
Emily looked at him with reservations, perhaps to figure out if he was really serious.
Neither one of them moved for several minutes. Not even a word was spoken.
“Are you serious? You’ll freeze out here,” she broke the silence first.
Alex knew she was beginning to surrender; he just had to insist a little more.
“You, too. We can go home together and save our bums. What do you say?” He asked, smiling.
Emily sighed and stood up. Alex stood up with her, smiling and walking towards the bus stop.
*
Emily followed Alex inside his flat and looked around timidly. It wasnʼt huge but she thought that it was very cosy. A perfectly white modern kitchen opened on the left in front of the living room, mostly empty except for a brown leather sofa, a coffee table and four different guitars. The corridor opposite her led to three different doors, all closed.
“Would you like to have a shower?” Alex asked.
Emily visibly reddened. She knew she reeked and felt ashamed for it. Alex looked at her with earnest, probably reading her thoughts.
“I didn’t mean to offend you. Itʼs just... you know... sometimes, after a long day, you just want to have a shower and relax,” he clarified with some difficulty.
Emily smiled nervously; he seemed sincere when he uttered those words.
“Thank you. I really need it,” she confirmed.
Alex beamed at her and led her to the bathroom.
“Iʼll leave some clean clothes for you outside the door,” he said letting her in.
Emily closed the door behind her. She looked around and sighed. The bathroom was just like the rest of the house: modern with some distinctive peculiarities like an antique mirror over the sink.
She went in the middle of the room and took off her clothes. The warmth of the floor heating almost gave her the chills from pleasure. She turned on the hot water and stepped into the shower. The boiling stream of water warmed her skin and bones. She smiled. She had not had a shower for a long time and that sensation of cleanliness overwhelmed her. She began to cry, kneeling on the floor under the water. A flood of thoughts amassed in her head; some were good, others a bit less but she tried to push those aside. At that moment she really needed to let out those tears, which were for neither joy nor sadness but rather a simple outburst of emotions.
She did not know how long she was in the shower but when she came out, the skin on her fingers was all wrinkled. She took a towel and wrapped it around her shoulders. It smelled of soap and aftershave, like Alex. She took a deep breath and relaxed.
Emily found a white T-shirt and a pair of black tracksuit bottoms outside the door as Alex had told her. She put them on, left the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen where the lad was fiddling with some pots. She approached the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room and sat down on a stool.
Alex turned and smiled at her, handing her a plate with scrambled eggs, crispy ham and two slices of toast. He took another one for himself and sat next to her at the counter. They ate their meal in comforting silence. After they had finished, Alex put the dishes in the sink and led her to another room.
“You can sleep here tonight,” he offered her pointing to the bed.
Emily looked at him quite puzzled because the room seemed a lot like his bedroom and she did not intend to sleep with him.
“Where will you sleep?” She asked for an explanation.
“Don’t worry, I have a place,” he said.
Emily smiled somewhat self-conscious and went closer to the soft silk sheets, touching them with the tips of her fingers as if she was afraid of ruining them.
“Thanks,” she let out in a soft voice.
Alex did not answer but smiled.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” He asked uncertainly.
“I guess so...” she replied.
“How long have you been living on the streets?” He enquired slightly worried.
“I ran away from my motherʼs house three years ago, when my stepfather broke my bones. Since then I haven’t got a house to call home,” she recounted sincerely.
“What about your father?” He blurted out before he could stop his words as she could see in his face that he regretted saying it aloud.
Emily smiled reassuring him that she did not mind talking about it. She never knew her father and it was not a subject that bothered her: it left her absolutely cold.
“He left when he found out that my mother was pregnant,” she stated without any emotion in her voice.
“Iʼm sorry,” he mumbled.
“Donʼt be, Iʼm fine,” she smiled.
He smiled in return and turned to leave the room, switching off the light.
“Why are you doing this?” She asked, taking advantage of the darkness to hide her blushing.
Alex sighed deeply.
“I don’t know,” he answered.
Emily could not see him but she could hear a smile in his voice. He
was sincere.
Alex walked to the couch after having closed the door behind him. He thought about her question again. It was true; he did not know why he was taking Emilyʼs situation really at heart. He had never been interested in anyone since his grandfather died. He recalled that day at the funeral when he had promised himself not to become attached to anyone else in his life, ever again. The pain he had felt at that moment had ripped his heart to pieces, deadening him. That was the day he got drunk for the first time and the day he wrote his first song. He was only twelve years old and his life was already starting to fall apart.
Alex reached the sofa and laid down. It was the first time he slept there while sober and noticed how really uncomfortable it was.
He stared at the ceiling for a while, unable to sleep, so he sat up. He glanced at the sheets of paper scattered on the floor and on the coffee table; he picked up one of them and read the two sentences written on it. He took a pen and began to add some verses.
She feels cold in her old bones.
The thoughts she keeps are hers alone.
Father’s gone mother’s unknown
Is there a place that she can call her home?
I will find her somewhere safe
A house a home a resting place
Alex woke up before the alarm sounded. He looked out the window and saw a pale sun within the clouds. He stretched; it almost seemed strange not to feel that forcefully pumping headache and have a nauseating thick taste in his mouth. He got up and walked towards the kitchen. He opened the fridge, took the orange juice and drank it directly from the bottle. He put it back and pulled out some eggs. All of a sudden, he had a flash, a déjà vu: the eggs he had cooked the night before. Suddenly he remembered that Emily was sleeping in his room. He tiptoed to the room and peered inside. She was still asleep. Alex closed the door and walked toward the bathroom.
He had a quick shower and came out wearing only a towel around his hip. He returned to the kitchen and made breakfast. Toasted bread, butter and jam. He divided it into two plates and poured orange juice in two glasses. He was going toward the bedroom where Emily was sleeping carrying one of the dishes and a glass when he realised that he was practically naked. He retreated, put on his coat and went back toward the room. He felt ridiculous by how he was dressed but he did not want to embarrass the girl by entering the room without a shirt on.
He approached the bed on tiptoes and looked at her. She was so relaxed, sleeping with her head almost entirely buried in the duvet. He felt relieved that she had a place to stay, making a smile appear on his face, surprising him. He set the plate and glass down on the bedside table and walked over to the wardrobe. He took some clean clothes and scrambled to get out of the room.
It did not take him very long to get dressed and make himself presentable for the photo shoot. He then took his coat and left the house with a smile on his face and a peaceful state of mind he had not felt in years.
Emily woke up and, for a moment, felt lost. The heat, the scented sheets that were wrapping her and the soft pillow under her head disoriented her. She hadnʼt had that sensation in years and although for some time she had lived in Bobbyʼs basement, it certainly wasnʼt the same treatment he provided her: a dirty mattress on the floor and a coarse blanket that scratched her skin were the only things she received as comfort. Those feelings were so completely different from the present that she was taken aback by it all.
She opened her eyes and looked around. The room was unfamiliar. It took her a moment to call to mind that not only was she at Alexʼs place but she was also sleeping in his bed. A smile surfaced on her face and she hid under the covers from embarrassment. She did not know why she felt ashamed, she had done nothing that would justify that feeling, but she felt guilty for having that smile on her face. She was taking advantage of the lad’s kindness and should not have been happy about it; on the other hand, she could not help but think it was comforting, for one day, to wake up in the warmth of a bed rather than on the cold concrete of a basement.
Emily found the urge to get up and was happy to notice that, for the first time in a long time, her laziness was not due to the fact that she wanted everything to end, but because she did not want to stop what she was feeling. She glanced at the night table and found breakfast, most likely left there by Alex. There wasnʼt a note stating it was for her, but she presumed that most people do not normally go around leaving breakfast scattered around the house. So, she sat back on the bed, tucked her legs under the covers and took her time to enjoy every bite. It was the first time in her life that she had ever had breakfast in bed.
She finished drinking the last sip of orange juice, got up and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes.
“Alex?” She called out when she did not find anyone in the living room.
No one answered; there was absolute silence. Emily thought he had gone to work and realised that she knew absolutely nothing about him just as he had no idea who she was. She found herself surprised that the lad had so much trust in a total stranger, enough to leave her completely alone in his flat. For a moment, she wondered if she had ended up in the hands of a lunatic, then she pictured those huge blue eyes in her mind and the thought vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
Alex was at the car dealership. The photographer was late and the location they had set up for the shoot was ridiculous, to say the least. They had placed two hideous cars in front of a giant billboard depicting a tropical beach. A setting like that for an advertisement that would be circulating around London was almost pointless, considering Londonersʼ love and attachment for grey skies and pouring rain soaking the streets. He strongly hoped they would not make him wear a swimsuit.
He was staring at that horrible beach scene when a chap with a camera materialised in front of him and startled him.
“Are you ready?” He asked.
“Sure,” Alex said with a smile.
“Amazing background, isnʼt it?” The lad extolled.
Alex determined, as a result, he was standing in front of the architect of the monstrosity.
“Unique,” he returned.
Yes, it was really unique. Alex hoped there were not many others out there with such horrid taste in the world, but kept silent. He simply followed the man’s directions and began to pose for the shoot.
Emily got out of the shower and dried her hair with a towel. She put on the clothes Alex had given her and was wandering around the house, exploring her new surroundings a bit, when she stopped in front of a closed door, the only one she did not know where it led. She assumed it was where he had slept as she had taken his room. She walked away and headed for the kitchen but, on second thought, went back almost immediately. She was dying to know how the room where he had taken refuge looked like. She hesitated for a few seconds then knocked gently to be certain that no one was inside and opened the door with anticipation.
The disappointment she felt seeing that it was only a tiny closet full of cleaning products passed only when she realised that Alex did not have another room to sleep in. She realised only then that he had slept on the couch and got angry with him because it should have been her there not him. The front door opened and distracted her from her thoughts; she hurried towards the door to tell him off.
“Alex...” the rest of the words remained stuck in her throat when his friend appeared in front of her, accompanied by the brunette who had left Alex in the middle of the road a few nights ago.
“What are you doing here?” Matt asked confused. “Alex, move your ass out here,” he added, raising his voice but never taking his eyes off the girl.
“Heʼs not home,” she said with a shaky voice, which was more than she wanted them to hear.
She did not want to appear weak in front of them. She knew from the way they were looking at her at that instant she needed all the strength she had gathered from living on the streets.
“He left you alone in the house? How long have you been fucking him?” The girl accused in disbe
lief.
“Abigail,” Matt scolded with a reprimanding tone in his voice.
Emily felt embarrassed. She almost felt that it was her duty to explain it was not as she had thought even if she had no desire to do so.
“Weʼre not sleeping together,” she hissed through her teeth.
The two friends walked in and Emily was undecided whether to stop them or not. They had the keys but she did not know if Alex wanted them to enter when he wasnʼt there.
“Did Alex send you?” She asked them.
Abigail looked at her as if she was the most disgusting thing she had ever lain her eyes on. Emily shuddered at her look.
“Do you think we need permission to come inside? Unlike you, we are his friends. You are only a beggar he found on the streets,” she stated with malice.
She had been very clear about what she was thinking and Emily determined that she was one of those people whom she would have never wanted in her life.
“Enough, Abigail!” Matt cut her off and sat on the couch pulling out his wallet. “This should suffice; you should be able to go wherever you want,” he assured her, handing the money over. “You know you can’t stay here alone while Alexʼs gone,” he added seriously without sounding reproachful.
Emily wanted to tell them that it was not up to them to decide who could or couldnʼt stay at their friendʼs house but the only thing she could do was to yield to his words by nodding. They intimidated her and she had no idea how to assert herself; in the end, they had more right to be there than she.
“Iʼll grab my stuff and go,” she gave in, walking towards the room where she had left her clothes followed by Abigail.
The girl stood in the doorway and watched her.
“Please, I need to change,” she murmured making her understand she did not want any spectators.
“Youʼve never been ashamed of panhandling but now you feel self-conscious only because you have to change in front of me?” She sneered with superiority. “Be thankful weʼre not making you change in the middle of the road,” she added full of scorn.
Emily felt humiliated and hurt. She turned her back to her and began to take off the clothes Alex had lent her and put hers on. When she was done, she picked up her plastic bag and squeezed by Abigail, taking great heed not to touch her. She did not even look at Matt who was sitting on the couch when she silently walked out the door, closing it behind her. She flew down the stairs in a rush, her eyes fixed on her feet.