“Jason was always the fun one. The charming adventurer who never liked to be in one place for very long. The same as Valerie. He’s a professional gambler now.” His tone was detached, as if he hadn’t known his brother his entire life. As if his brother was no more relevant than last year’s celebrity gossip. “Jason is the one who dared.”
“But you dared more.” Brooke grabbed his arm, swinging him toward her. “You dared to stay with your son and tackle being a single father. You took the biggest risk.”
“And in my opinion, the most rewarding one.” He encouraged the dogs’ quick pace again and offered no more glimpses into his past.
Only the sound of a passing car and the bass of a stereo in a nearby apartment disrupted the silence between Brooke and Dan. Brooke counted the blocks left to reach Dan’s house. Only three.
She’d managed four square blocks without jumping out of her skin. She had Dan to thank for that. His bold trip down memory lane and his hurt, restrained and powerful, had nudged aside her own fears.
Back at the apartment, with Dan’s past behind them, where she suspected he preferred it, Brooke accepted Rex’s leash from him.
He rubbed Luna’s head, then Rex’s. “I’m off to the store.”
“Do you mind if I join you? I need a few things.” Very few. But she didn’t want to go alone. She didn’t want to be alone. Not yet. At Dan’s hesitation, she added, “I promise, no more talk about your past.”
She kept her promise, and exactly one hour later, Dan parked the truck in the driveway and gaped at Brooke. “I cannot believe you’ve never had chicken and waffles.”
The surprise on Dan’s face tugged a small laugh free. The sound was muted and off-key to her own ears, as if her laughter had rusted over the years.
“You’re going to like my chicken and waffles,” Dan vowed.
She’d liked grocery shopping and the sense of normalcy even while nothing about her situation was normal. Picking out the perfect unbruised apples and debating over spinach or lettuce reminded her that some things remained the same no matter where she was. That settled her. Even if being out in the city did not.
She wanted that to be all that steadied her. But Dan calmed her. He hadn’t offered pity after she’d mentioned her husband’s death. The sincerity in his simple apology had wrapped around her like an embrace.
Today, he’d bought every ingredient for the homemade dog treats. His thoughtfulness for Luna and Rex softened her. His love for his son tapped on a heart she refused to open. “I’ll try your chicken and waffles. Though there’s something about mixing breakfast and dinner that doesn’t feel right. Syrup on fried chicken sounds like two food groups that don’t go well together.”
Not like she and Dan went together. Not that she’d considered her and Dan together. Or anything close to that. Dan had his whole life in the city. Brooke was only passing through. And so much was still up in the air for her, while so much was settled for Dan. How would she find a home, a job, her life again?
Not to mention figuring out how to avoid the site of her accident.
Still, she’d discovered two of her favorite places: Beaux Arts Bakery and Mission Sushi were still open in the Golden Heights District. Thanks to Dan. That wasn’t enough to erase the bad memories, was it?
Brooke opened the back-passenger door and slid the cloth grocery bags up her arm. For now, it’d be enough to appreciate this one sweet, simple moment.
“Taking everything in one load?” Dan asked from the other side of the bench back seat.
“Always.” Brooke grinned. Sweet and simple was all she wanted right now. Nothing more. Nothing that required her heart or a courage she’d lost in the accident. “It’s the only way to carry groceries. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. Saves time.”
Dan stacked grocery bags into his hands, his smile crooked and appealing.
Something inside Brooke shifted—something inside her chest like those pesky butterflies that romance movies liked to reference. How many years had it been since she’d experienced a fluttering? Was it wrong that she indulged, for only a breath? Before she adjusted the groceries in her grip and adjusted her thoughts.
She’d made a deal years ago: if she never opened her heart, she’d never hurt. Even more, she’d never hurt others. The thought of causing Dan pain clipped those butterflies’ wings.
Besides, they’d taken one trip to the grocery store, not been on a first date. Butterflies and racing hearts were for the poets and screenwriters, not widows like her. Brooke walked around the truck and stepped beside Dan. “See, perfectly balanced. You’re the one who’s a little off-kilter.”
Dan didn’t straighten. Only gaped at the front porch. Nothing about him moved, from his stiff shoulders to the grocery bags that had stopped swaying, as if Dan’s tension stalled the air.
Brooke looked up at the striking woman propped against the porch railing. Her blond hair was cropped at the perfect angle to swing elegantly against her defined jawline. Her white pants blended with the white railing, while the sleek trench coat and bold blue sweater came together in an effortless, classic style.
“We brought food, too. But you can never have too much food, can you?” The woman’s open smile shifted into high wattage with her bright laughter. “Can you believe it took more than thirty-six hours to get here from Dubai?”
“Valerie.” Dan’s voice sounded strained and detached, at odds with the woman’s vibrance.
That was Dan’s ex-wife. The dismay inside Brooke flatlined those butterflies. Valerie was poised like a princess, ready to lean over the railing and wave to her admiring throng of fans. Except Valerie wasn’t a princess and Brooke was no adoring fan.
“I’ve been texting and calling.” The sunflower-yellow scarf around Valerie’s neck seemed to infuse her voice with extra warmth and cheer. “This shouldn’t come as a surprise.”
Muscles flexed in Dan’s cheek and tracked along his jaw.
Brooke noticed the subdued man standing in the shadows behind Valerie, decided he was most likely Dan’s brother. Dan’s past had just walked right into the present. And Brooke thought dealing with the ghosts in her past was difficult. Brooke whispered, “How long has Valerie been trying to reach you?”
“Since Tuesday.” Dan’s voice was bewildered, as if he was still processing that his ex-wife and estranged brother stood so close. “I called her back. Left her a message. She never called again.”
Brooke stepped closer to Dan until her shoulder connected with his arm. He’d supported her during their walk, even though she hadn’t confessed her real fears. She’d do the same for him now.
Dan shrugged. “I thought she’d given up and moved on to something else.”
Brooke failed to stop her scowl from drifting into her voice. “Looks like she showed up instead.”
“I should’ve known.” A low curse drifted into the afternoon breeze, as if Dan had accepted the reality but disliked it all the same. “Valerie called and texted more in the past week than she has in the past year.”
“She could’ve put her travel plans in one of those texts,” Brooke suggested.
Dan nodded.
Brooke waited beside Dan. He never moved. Not even a twitch, as if he stood sentry in the driveway and intended to remain there indefinitely.
Valerie’s smile never faltered as her gaze moved to Brooke, then over the neighborhood like she was lost in pleasant memories. “Is Valerie always so gracefully poised and composed?”
Dan shifted and focused on Brooke. One corner of his mouth relaxed and tipped upward. “Always. It’s her gift.”
Dan had a gift, too. A gift for making Brooke believe she was valued thanks to one of his all-encompassing looks. He gazed at Brooke, made her imagine she was the only one who mattered to him in that moment. Brooke blinked. This wasn’t about Dan’s effect on her. His ex-wife and brother stoo
d twenty feet away. “Where are your house keys?”
Dan kept his gaze locked on Brooke as if she anchored him. “In my left hand.”
Brooke took the keys and squeezed his hand holding the grocery bags.
“I’m not inviting them inside.” Dan’s voice came out as both a warning and simple fact.
“Okay.” The dormant mediator inside Brooke leaped to attention, reciting strategy. All parties should feel heard. Active feedback is your strength. “But we have gelato melting and chicken that needs to get in the refrigerator or I’m definitely not sampling your chicken and waffles later.”
Dan closed his eyes. Less than a five count, as if pulling himself together.
Brooke squeezed his hand once more and walked up the stairs onto the porch.
CHAPTER NINE
DAN SQUEEZED HIS eyes closed once more. The hair on the back of his neck prickled as if he’d conjured the past. He followed Brooke. Tunneled his vision until he saw only Brooke’s dark hair and blue sweatshirt.
Never had he been so reluctant to be home.
Besides, Dan had places to be. Several, in fact, like Hank Decker’s house to drop off the dinner he’d agreed to deliver that afternoon. The entire EMS team had put a calendar together to bring meals to Hank, his wife and five kids while Hank continued his recovery. He had to return calls from his supervisor and the drama teacher at Ben’s school.
None of those places included a reunion with Valerie and Jason at his own house.
Dan didn’t know what to say to the pair on the porch. “Welcome home” seemed absurd. “What took you so long?” sounded too passive-aggressive, as if he still harbored unresolved anger. “Get out” would be rude.
Dan settled for no greeting.
Brooke unlocked his front door. He flattened his palm on the door above Brooke’s head, holding it open and himself together. Brooke slipped under Dan’s arm and stepped inside. Valerie never waited for a formal invitation and swirled into the house as if her welcome had never been in question.
Valerie sank down in the center of the couch in the living room and ran her hands over the chenille cushions on either side of her. “I always loved this sofa set at your parents’ house. I’m glad Rick brought it with him. Sitting here always felt like a warm hug from your mom.”
Dan curled his fingers around the bag handles. What would his mother say now? Would she offer warm hugs all around? The only person Dan wanted to pull closer was Brooke. He never talked about the past. He’d never wanted to feel the sting that always accompanied the truth or the memories.
Somehow walking with Brooke, the blade sliced a little less deeply. If he tugged Brooke into his side, would the knife cleaving through him now hurt less? He cleared his throat and adjusted his focus.
Jason stopped beside the curio cabinet and set his hand on the intricate antique handle. “You kept it?”
Dan didn’t need to look at the shelf to know what piece his brother referenced. He said, “Mom did.”
They both knew that was a lie. Jason had given Dan the phoenix poker chip on Dan’s nineteenth birthday. After Dan responded to a house fire and lost his first patient. Jason had told him it was a reminder to always keep rising from the ashes—his work mattered. He mattered. Would Jason be surprised to learn that Dan also kept several decks of playing cards and their collection of various sports caps, along with a box of photographs in the attic?
Valerie took the grocery bags from Jason and peered into the curio cabinet. She frowned at the shelf, her tone dismissive. “Jason has thousands of poker chips littered all over his apartment. He can send you a full set and an extra.”
There wasn’t a set of that particular poker chip. It was the only one in existence. Designed by Jason himself. More regret and grief shifted across Jason’s face. Only a flash before he retreated behind his impassive mask.
His brother stood close enough to clip with a right hook, yet the distance was more like a bottomless chasm. Was that all that stood between Dan and his brother now? Insurmountable distance. And resignation. The loss of his brother gutted Dan. He rubbed his chin as if he’d been punched.
“I got Kahlúa coffee cake from Whisk and Whip Pastry. I know it’s your favorite, Dan.” Valerie’s lyrical voice commanded attention. She set her bags on the kitchen counter, then pulled out two boxes. “And Rick’s favorite, pumpkin-cheesecake-stuffed monkey bread. Don’t you love fall flavors? I wasn’t sure about Ben, so I picked up chocolate espresso beans. All kids like chocolate, right?”
Dan shifted his attention to Brooke, unsure if her frown was for the espresso beans or that Valerie didn’t know Ben’s favorite dessert. Brooke would put her child first. She’d know her child’s favorites. If Dan was a different person and this was a different time, he’d have looked for someone like Brooke.
Dan ignored Valerie’s bakery offerings and piled his groceries and Brooke’s on the counter. “Why are you here, Valerie?”
“We wanted to see our family.” Valerie set down the boxes and gripped the bar stool.
“Why now?” Suspicion deepened Dan’s voice.
“Do I need a reason to want to see my own son?” Valerie’s tone was baffled, as if she was surprised Dan would ask.
“You haven’t attempted to see him in years.” Dan turned away, yanked open the pantry door and dropped several cans of soup on the shelves with a dull thud.
“I’m Brooke Ellis.” Brooke reached out to shake Valerie’s hand. But her gentle voice reached out to Dan as if encouraging him to contain that twitchy irritation inside him.
Brooke added, “I’m staying in Dan’s rental apartment. Rick and Dan offered the apartment after I had to evacuate from the wildfires up north.”
Brooke would be a mother who fought for her kids. Fought to be with those she loved. She’d lost her husband. Yet Dan sensed she hadn’t lost her ability to love. He’d seen her with the rescues, then later with Ben and Ella. But he wasn’t interested in Brooke or her heart. He was already committed to Ben. Dan dug through another grocery bag.
“I cried looking at pictures of the devastation.” Valerie took Brooke’s hands, her voice warm. “I’m sorry, but you couldn’t have asked for a better place to recover. The Sawyer men were built to assist those in need.”
Who helped the Sawyer men when they were in need? Dan glanced at his brother. The rim of Jason’s black baseball cap shadowed his gaze, blocking Dan from really seeing him. Once upon a time, Jason and Dan had only depended on each other. And they’d always had each other’s backs. Now the Sawyer men helped themselves.
Brooke stepped toward Valerie, her voice pleasant, her smile welcoming. “How long do you plan to be in town?”
Valerie pulled out plates and napkins from the bakery bag, then opened the coffee-cake box. “That depends.”
Dan paused on the other side of the kitchen counter and eyed Valerie. She’d never liked schedules and committing. Not like Dan. Even Jason had used to keep an up-to-date calendar on his phone that included everything from birthdays to his part-time work schedule. Had Jason taken on Valerie’s carefree nature? Had his brother changed that much?
“I have business to take care of, then travel plans will be made.” Jason eased away from Dan and Valerie, as if he intended to observe from the sidelines. The same way Jason had done after he’d learned about his adoption status four years ago.
“He has business at the golf course,” Valerie quipped.
Dan studied his brother, searched for his childhood friend. Only he found a man, serious and standoffish. “You play golf now? What happened to poker?”
“Only miniature golf,” Jason replied.
Dan blinked and recovered as if he’d absorbed another punch, not a glib line from their childhood. Still, Jason’s response had knocked Dan for a loop. “And only on—”
“Wednesdays,” Jason said, finishing for him. The
edge of his mouth creased—that was the only break in his brother’s withdrawn expression.
One high school summer, Dan and Jason had played miniature golf every Wednesday. Not for the sport. Rather for Jason to see Ashley-Lynne, the blond-haired Southern transplant with the wide smile and bright eyes. Through eighteen holes of pirate traps and windmills, Dan had coached Jason on what creative things to say to Ashley-Lynne. One month and too many rounds into the summer, Jason discovered his courage and finally asked out Ashley-Lynne. Only to learn one of their friends had already asked her out the day before. Dan had teased Jason the rest of the summer for being a day late and a date short. Jason had laughed and vowed he’d be the first for everything. He’d lived up to that promise. Did he still?
Valerie sliced a section off the coffee cake, set it on a plate. She moved into Dan’s view and thrust the plate at him. “I hope we haven’t ruined your afternoon plans.”
Valerie’s eyebrow quirked as if questioning whether Dan and Brooke were more than landlord and tenant.
“Actually, our afternoon is quite full.” Dan avoided the coffee cake and put away more groceries with speed and efficiency, as if he was a clerk restocking the store for a bonus. “As well as Ben’s.”
“You can’t keep me from seeing him.” Valerie’s voice was matter-of-fact.
“I’m not.” Dan unloaded another grocery bag and scrambled to fabricate an excuse. “Ben is at school until three fifteen. Then he has soccer practice and a birthday party at his best friend’s house tonight.”
“I’ll go with you to pick him up from school.” Valerie handed Jason a plate of coffee cake.
“I’m not picking him up. Wesley’s mom has car pool duty today.” Dan closed the refrigerator and reached for the last grocery bag. “It’s Wesley’s birthday tonight. Ben and Wesley have been talking about this night for the past few weeks.”
“I don’t want to disrupt Ben’s plans.” Worry shifted over Valerie’s face. “I remember how important my friends were at his age.”
Single Dad to the Rescue Page 8