Dan offered nothing to soothe her concerns. How could she recall her middle school classmates and fail to remember important things about her own son?
Dan looked at Brooke and wondered if he would ever know all the important things about her. Definitely the wrong time, wrong place. He finished putting away the last of the groceries, as if that would unhitch the snag in his chest. He couldn’t like Brooke.
Valerie sliced another piece of coffee cake and handed the plate to Brooke, as if they’d met for their weekly coffee and dessert. She said, “I’d like to see Ben this weekend.”
Valerie eyed Brooke as if she expected Brooke to convince Dan to agree. Dan couldn’t promise he wouldn’t confide more of himself to Brooke. Or that he wouldn’t let her sway him. That wasn’t good.
“I’ll be in touch about this weekend.” Dan folded the last cloth grocery bag and stacked it on top of the others. “Now, Brooke and I need to leave.”
Dan’s hand fell against Brooke’s lower back. A bold move that truly put in question their strictly tenant-landlord relationship. Yet she didn’t move away.
“You just came home.” Valerie studied Brooke as if searching for a weakness.
“To drop off groceries. We weren’t expecting company and we have things to do.” Dan’s fingers flexed against Brooke’s back, encouraging her to play along.
That heavy silence returned. Only now speculation and interest hovered in both Valerie and Jason’s gazes.
“This is delicious, Valerie.” Brooke pointed her fork at her plate. “Where will you be staying while you’re in town?”
Valerie beamed at her.
“Valerie’s mom lives in the Heights,” Dan offered. “I’m sure they’re staying at her house.”
“Mom isn’t home.” The light in Valerie’s voice and face dimmed like a cloud passing over the sun. “You know Mother doesn’t like people in her house when she’s out of town.”
No. Dan didn’t know that. He’d dropped Luann off at the airport to fly to Port Canaveral, Florida, to catch her cruise. Luann had refused to get out of the truck until Dan had shown her the floral-printed house key on his key chain—the one to her house in the Heights. Dan took care of Luann’s home whenever she traveled. And Valerie’s mom enjoyed several vacations a year, declaring she’d earned the reprieve.
Suspicion curled through Dan. What had happened between Luann and Valerie? And how would that affect Ben?
Valerie busied herself with the pastry box lids.
Jason tossed his paper plate and piece of intact coffee cake in the trash can. “I have a suite at the Fog City Hotel.”
“I’ve always wanted to stay there.” Valerie wiped her hands on a napkin. “We should check in and get settled.”
Dan picked up a pen and piece of paper. He wrote across the paper and handed it to Jason. “Call Dad. I know he’ll want to hear from you.”
“Thanks.” Jason stuffed the paper in his back pocket and walked toward the front door.
Valerie walked off, calling out, “I expect you’ll be in touch about this weekend.”
Dan expected he wouldn’t.
CHAPTER TEN
BROOKE LINGERED IN the living room behind the others. Valerie simply drifted onto the porch like sunflower petals floating on the wind. Dan remained in the doorway, as if the wooden door propped him up. So many unspoken and unresolved emotions strained the silence. Brooke wanted to prop herself up, too.
Jason stepped beside Dan. The brothers matched each other in height. Yet Jason’s brown hair lacked any hint of red and his build was leaner, like a marathon runner’s.
Jason paused as if he wanted to say something to Dan but held back. His clear blue gaze collided with Brooke’s. She saw the regret before Jason shuttered his features. She understood then the true meaning of a poker face and how Jason succeeded at the gaming table.
In her past life as a mediator, Brooke had worked numerous cases that had all started with the same stilted awareness. The reward in her work had always been returning harmony between feuding people. Easing the discord among families and strangers. The Sawyers were a family of strangers. The underlying pain in the division was easy to sense.
Her interference might not be welcomed. But how could she walk away? Rick and Dan hadn’t turned away from her. Perhaps she could give something back to Dan and Rick before she left. First, she needed a strategy.
Dan shut the front door and turned toward her.
“Do you want to go and get coffee?” she asked. For a first step, it wasn’t the best.
Dan scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m afraid I won’t be good company right now.”
“I get it.” Brooke had used the very same excuse with her in-laws on more than one occasion. She held on to her smile, walked into the kitchen and filled the coffeepot with water.
“I can make that.” Dan dropped onto a kitchen stool.
“It’s not a problem.” Brooke pulled a bag of bagels and a container of cream cheese from the refrigerator. Fresh coffee and tea along with snacks had been a customary part of any room where she’d met clients. Even more, preparing something made her feel useful now.
Dan picked up the container of blueberry cream cheese and frowned.
“Blueberry adds the perfect amount of flavor. Not too sweet, not too plain.” Brooke tapped the counter, drawing Dan’s gaze to her. She repeated one of her mother’s favorite lines. “Sometimes it’s the little things that completely change the mood of the day.”
His flat tone weighed down the edges of his mouth. “The little things dismantled my marriage.”
Brooke tipped her head and studied him, her gaze searching his somber face. Dan didn’t appear to want a mood change.
“Valerie always thrived on the big moments,” Dan continued. “Chairing a fund-raising gala, hosting a Christmas soiree or acting as a tour guide through the Swiss Alps for two dozen family and friends.”
Brooke sliced a bagel in half. “What about you?”
“Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed myself most of the time.” Dan straightened and pushed the container away from him. “Until Ben was born.”
Ben. He changed Dan’s mood. And only from a mention. His face relaxed, his eyes lit up. Brooke’s stomach clenched—she would’ve known a love like that. For her child. If only...
“Then I discovered the quieter, simpler moments were the lasting ones. Rocking my infant son to sleep. Hearing Ben’s first squeaky laugh as if he’d swallowed his own giggle. Watching his first wobbly steps.” Dan’s hands flexed on the counter as if he prepared to catch his wobbly toddler all over again.
She’d missed all those simple moments, too. She cleared her throat. Her words were raspy, like an unfinished gasp. “But you have those special memories. That matters.” She had only what-ifs.
Dan nodded. “I realized all the rest was simply noise and chatter. I stepped back, and Valerie kept moving.”
Brooke had to keep moving, too. She’d been wrong about the mediation. Somehow, she’d skipped right past mediator and treaded into friendship territory.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you.” Dan rose and poured a cup of coffee, held it out to Brooke.
She shook her head. She was sorry, too. Sorry she’d misplaced her mediator—the one that was supposed to help Dan and his family find harmony. “Do you miss Valerie?”
Brooke slammed her lips together. Was that even appropriate? Brooke wasn’t sure anymore.
“A therapist on staff at the hospital helped me come to terms with the divorce.” He stared into the coffee mug he cradled in his hands. “Sometimes I miss the idea...”
He trailed off, his words lost in the dark liquid. That was for the best. “Does Ben miss her?”
“Around his fifth birthday, he stopped asking when his mom would come home. By the time he turned six, Ben had stop
ped asking about her, period.” Dan sipped the coffee. “Valerie will charm him now. That’s her way. She’ll win him over.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” she asked. Was it a bad thing that Brooke wanted to know if Dan would miss her once she moved out of the cottage?
“Absolutely.” The tension in his voice collided with his scowl. “Valerie forgets to take her own vitamins. She’s squeamish with needles. How can she care for a boy with diabetes?”
“She could learn,” Brooke suggested. Brooke would learn, too. To be a mediator again and leave the friendship to those more qualified.
“This is the woman who believes chocolate makes people happy.” He pointed at the bag of chocolate-covered espresso beans on the counter. “As a toddler, Valerie indulged Ben with chocolate milk, chocolate doughnuts and chocolate-chip pancakes for breakfast. Her reasoning—to make sure Ben’s entire day could be a happy one.”
“That’s...” Brooke touched her mouth as if that would help her find the right words.
“Unhealthy. Unsafe,” Dan filled in for her. “And yet, all Valerie wanted was for her son to be happy.”
“Good intentions. Wrong approach,” Brooke offered. Brooke had searched Valerie’s face for a sign of insincerity. A hint of disingenuousness in her voice. She’d discovered only heartfelt emotion in Valerie’s quiet blue eyes. She should dislike Valerie, shouldn’t she?
“I want Ben to be happy, too.” Dan set his coffee on the counter next to the beans. “But even more, I want him to be safe.”
Brooke wanted that, too, for Ben. And herself. “What about your brother?”
“Jason,” he said. He straightened and shook his head. “That’s complicated.”
And still raw. Still painfully raw. She heard the anguish in his voice. That memory lane was gutted, yet perhaps not completely washed out. “It’s only as complicated as you make it. My mom always told me ‘sometimes you need to let things be what they are, not what you want them to be.’”
“We don’t know each other anymore. I’m not even sure what I want our relationship to be. Or even what it is.” Dan pulled out his phone and turned away from her. “I really need to make some calls.”
And Brooke really needed to leave. He hadn’t asked for her advice. Her counsel. Or her friendship. She walked to the back door. “I should check on the dogs and call Iain about Archie.”
“Brooke,” Dan said.
She turned around. Dan stood in the middle of the kitchen, looking lost, as if he’d misplaced his home and wasn’t sure where to find it.
Their gazes connected and held. The vulnerable shadows underneath his deep-set eyes asked her to stay. His words told her to leave. Brooke wanted to help him find whatever he’d lost. Help him regain his balance again. Yet she needed to give him space. And herself. Needed to break the connection.
“Thanks,” he said. His voice was rough, drawn-out, as if from deep inside him.
One word that encompassed so much.
“Anytime.” Brooke let herself out and rushed across the small yard. Running from her own tumbling emotions—the very ones Dan stirred up inside her.
* * *
THIRTY MINUTES AND one hot shower later, Dan walked barefoot into the kitchen. Fresh coffee still scented the air and the bagels waited on a paper plate. And Brooke’s advice swirled through him.
He hadn’t been wrong. He really didn’t know what things were between him and his brother. He might’ve wanted to find out, if not for Ben. He had to protect his son.
He was concerned about Valerie letting down Ben. How many times had he come home to find Ben crying in his crib as an infant? Valerie’s explanation: a baby should learn to cry it out. As for supervision, Valerie had spent more time organizing her next social engagement than watching her three-year-old son in the playroom. Kids need to learn independence, Dan.
Parents were also supposed to teach their children boundaries and healthy eating habits and provide unconditional love. What happened if Valerie’s chocolate decadence didn’t fix Ben’s unhappiness? What if she allowed him to overindulge and sent Ben’s glucose levels too high? Would she leave Ben alone to deal with it himself?
Dan massaged his chest, forcing the panic to retreat. Ben was safe. Healthy.
But Valerie was back. And he couldn’t trust she’d changed.
Even worse, he couldn’t trust Ben to keep his expectations low and his hopes in check. After all, Ben was a ten-year-old kid whose mother had returned. Ben would believe those secret wishes for a regular mom and reunited family would come true now. How could Ben not believe that?
Valerie would most likely disappoint Ben. Dan accepted that. But what if Valerie caused more damage than Dan could repair?
Worry reclaimed him. Looking away, he spotted the decadent coffee cake Valerie had brought over. Kahlúa coffee cake had been his favorite. Before he’d vowed not to become a statistic and started to clean up his diet. Before he’d learned to appreciate the simple things.
He reached for one of Brooke’s bagels and walked over to the toaster.
The front door opened and closed. Booted footsteps echoed across the wooden floor. Dan stared at the toaster and skipped over any greeting to get to the important part. “Did you know, Dad?”
“Not until your brother called me today.” Rick draped his jacket over the empty bar stool. “Got here as fast as I could.”
Dan retrieved his bagel from the toaster, tossed the too-hot sections on the plate and picked up the cream cheese. Jason had called their dad, like Dan had suggested. Would Jason listen when Dan told him that he’d always considered Jason his brother and still did, blood ties or not? That Jason being adopted never changed how Dan felt. Would Jason believe him if Dan told his brother that he’d missed him?
That was a surprise. How much he’d really missed his brother—feelings Dan had never admitted or faced. Until today.
Rick pulled a bag of spicy pumpkin seeds and a bag of dried mangoes out of the pantry. “When did we start eating organic?”
“I put Brooke’s groceries away with ours.” Dan spread cream cheese across the bagel. The groceries had kept him from stumbling over his chaotic emotions and blurting out whatever came into his head. That and Brooke. “Set them over there. She’s coming for dinner later.”
“Is that so?” Rick examined the bag of mangoes as if tropical dried fruit was one of his all-time favorite snacks.
“It’s not like that, Dad. Between Rex, Archie and now Valerie and Jason, the plate is overfull.” Dan bit into the bagel before his dad accused him of arguing too much. Blueberry spilled across his mouth, sweet and flavorful like Brooke had claimed. Maybe he could expand his plate. He took another bite to disrupt that misguided thought.
“Who’s Rex?” Rick poured coffee into a mug.
“Another rescue from the fires. Sophie took him in but her crowded kennels only made the dog more scared. Brooke is helping.” The same as she’d helped Dan today.
Valerie and Jason had surprised him. Dan searched for the anger he was certain boiled inside him but discovered only a low simmer of suspicion about Valerie’s intentions.
“We have more animals?” Rick added sugar and a heavy pour of creamer to his coffee. Humor coated his voice. “Does Ben know?”
Dan found his first real smile since his grocery store trip with Brooke. He usually sprinted through the grocery store, intent on getting to his next destination. Brooke had made the store a destination in itself, instructing him on proper apple selection and the best season for different fruits. “Ben was already over at Brooke’s first thing this morning to check on everyone and explain the benefits of diabetes therapy dogs to Brooke.”
“That boy won’t give up.” Rick chuckled and glanced at the clock on the stove. “Where is he? He should be home from school by now.”
“Nichole picked him up from school for a sleepover to
night with Wesley.” Dan was even more grateful for Ben’s best friend and his mom.
Dan had called Wesley’s mom before he’d gotten in the shower. The boys had met in kindergarten and been inseparable ever since. Both single parents, Nichole and Dan had swapped stories about their exes during their first stint in the ticket booth at the school Halloween Trick-or-Treat Bash. Over the years, Nichole and Dan had relied on each other for car pools, classroom and soccer snack rescues and volunteer assistance.
Nichole hadn’t flinched at Dan’s news about Valerie’s unexpected return. At the end of the call, Nichole had explained that Wesley’s half birthday was in exactly eight days, therefore Dan hadn’t outright lied to Valerie. Besides, she’d declared, the boys were always happy to celebrate anything. Dan was grateful for Nichole’s longtime friendship and support.
“Where are Valerie and Jason?” Rick asked.
“They went to check into their hotel.”
Rick picked up a butter knife and sliced off a piece of Dan’s bagel. At Dan’s frown, his dad shrugged and said, “It looks good. Never tried blueberry cream cheese before.”
Neither had Dan, but he liked it. And he liked Brooke. Interesting that his dad chose Brooke’s bagel over the coffee cake, too. Or maybe it wasn’t. His dad always preferred the down-to-earth, like Dan’s mom. His dad always insisted the key to his long-lasting marriage was his wife’s even temper, even in the face of his recklessness.
“Do you think Luann knew that Valerie was coming home?” His dad swiped the other half of the bagel off Dan’s plate. “This is quite good.”
“I don’t think Luann would’ve booked a transcontinental cruise if she’d known,” Dan said. “Valerie told us that her mom doesn’t like people in her house while she travels.”
Rick lowered the bagel and frowned at Dan. “But Luann invites us to stay at her house every time she travels.”
Luann had offered the same invitation last week at the airport like usual. Luann always invited Ben to enjoy the theater room and indoor Jacuzzi, often telling Dan it was her right as Ben’s grandma Lulu to allow Ben to have all-night movie marathons at her house.
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