Figures of Earth: A Comedy of Appearances

by James Branch Cabell

  XX

  The Month of Years

  In the morning, after doing the head's extraordinary bidding, Manuelwent to feed his horse, and found tethered to the holm-oak the steed'sskeleton picked clean. "I grieve at this," said Manuel, "but I considerit wiser to make no complaint." Indeed, there was nobody to complain to,for Misery, after having been again lifted over the threshold, haddeparted to put in a day's labor with the plague in the north.

  Thereafter Manuel abode in this peculiarly irrational part of theforest, serving Misery for, as men in cheerier places were estimatingthe time, a month and a day. Of these services it is better not tospeak. But the head was pleased by Manuel's services, because Miseryloves company: and the two used to have long friendly talks togetherwhen Manuel's services and Misery's work for that day were over.

  "And how came you, sir, to be thus housed in a trunkless head?" askedManuel, one time.

  "Why, when Jahveh created man on the morning of the sixth day, he setabout fashioning me that afternoon from the clay which was left over.But he was interrupted by the coming of the Sabbath, for Jahveh was inthose days, of course, a very orthodox Jew. So I was left incomplete,and must remain so always."

  "I deduce that you, then, sir, are Heaven's last crowning work, and thefinal finishing touch to creation."

  "So the pessimists tell me," the clay head assented, with a yawn. "But Ihave had a hard day of it, what with the pestilence in Glathion, andwars between the Emperor and the Milanese, and all those October colds,so we will talk no more philosophy."

  Thus Manuel served the head of Misery, for a month of days and a day. Itwas a noticeable peculiarity of this part of the forest--a peculiaritywell known to everybody, though not quite unanimously explained by thelearned,--that each day which one spent therein passed as a year, sothat Dom Manuel in appearance now aged rapidly. This was unfortunate,especially when his teeth began to fail him, because there were nodentists handy, but his interest in the other Plagues which visited thisforest left Manuel little time wherein to think about private worries.For Beda was visited by many of his kindred, such as Mitlan and Kali andThragnar and Pwyll and Apepi and other evil principles, who wereperpetually coming to the gray hut for family reunions, and to rehearseall but one of the two hundred and forty thousand spells of the Capuas.And it was at this time that Manuel got his first glimpse of Sclaug,with whom he had such famous troubles later.

  So sped the month of days that passed as years. Little is known as towhat happened in the gray hut, but that perhaps is a good thing. DomManuel never talked about it. This much is known, that all day the clayhead would be roving about the world, carrying envious reports, anddevouring kingdoms, and stirring up patriotism and reform, andwhispering malefic counsel, and bringing hurt and sorrow and despair andevil of every kind to men; and that in the evening, when at sunsetPhobetor took over this lamentable work, Beda would return contentedlyto Dun Vlechlan, for Manuel's services and a well-earned night's rest.On most evenings there was unspeakable company, but none of these stayedovernight. And after each night passed alone with Misery, the morningwould find Manuel older looking.

  "I wonder, sir, at your callousness, and at the cheery way in which yougo about your dreadful business," said Manuel, once, after he had justcleansed the dripping jaws.

  "Ah, but since I am all head and no heart, therefore I cannot well pitythe human beings whom I pursue as a matter of allotted duty."

  "That seems plausible," says Manuel, "and I perceive that if appearancesare to be trusted you are not personally to blame. Still, I cannot butwonder why the world of men should thus be given over to Misery ifKoshchei the Deathless, who made all things as they are, has any carefor men."

  "As to what goes on overhead, Manuel, you must inquire of others. Thereare persons in charge, I know, but they have never yet permitted Miseryto enter into their high places, for I am not popular with them, andthat is the truth."

  "I can understand that, but nevertheless I wonder why Misery should havebeen created to feed upon mankind."

  "Probably the cows and sheep and chickens in your barnyards, and thepartridges and rabbits in your snares, and even the gasping fish uponyour hook, find time to wonder in the same way about you, Dom Manuel."

  "Ah, but man is the higher form of life--"

  "Granting that remarkable assumption, and is any man above Misery? Soyou see it is logical I should feed on you."

  "Still, I believe that the Misery of earth was devised as a trial and atesting to fit us for some nobler and eternal life hereafter."

  "Why in this world should you think that?" the head inquired, with realinterest.

  "Because I have an immortal spirit, sir, and--"

  "Dear me, but all this is very remarkable. Where is it, Manuel?"

  "It is inside me somewhere, sir."

  "Come, then, let us have it out, for I am curious to see it."

  "No, it cannot get out exactly, sir, until I am dead."

  "But what use will it be to you then?" said Misery: "and how can you,who have not ever been dead, be certain as to what happens when one isdead?"

  "Well, I have always heard so, sir."

  The head shook itself dubiously. "Now from whom of the Leshy, I wonder,can you have been hearing such fantastic stories? I am afraid somebodyhas been making fun of you, Manuel."

  "Oh, no, sir, this is a tenet held by the wisest and most admirable ofmen."

  "I see: it was some other man who told you all these drolleries aboutthe eternal importance of mankind," the head observed, with anunaccountable slackening of interest. "I see: and again, you may noticethat the cows and the sheep and the chickens, also, resent extinctionstrenuously."

  "But these are creatures of the earth, sir, whereas there is about atany rate some persons a whiff of divinity. Come now, do you not find itso?"

  The head looked graver. "Yes, Manuel, most young people have in them aspark which is divine, but it is living that snuffs this out of all ofyou, by and large, without bothering Grandfather Death to unpeel spiritslike bananas. No, the most of you go with very little spirit, if any,into the grave, and assuredly with not enough spirit to last youforever. No, Manuel, no, I never quarrel with religion, because it isalmost the strongest ally I have, but these religious notions ratherdisgust me sometimes, for if men were immortal then Misery would beimmortal, and I could never survive that."

  "Now you are talking nonsense, sir," said Manuel, stoutly, "and of allsorts of nonsense cynical nonsense is the worst."

  "By no means," replied the head, "since, plainly, it is far worsenonsense to assert that omnipotence would insanely elect to passeternity with you humans. No, Manuel, I am afraid that your queertheory, about your being stuffed inside with permanent material and soon, does not very plausibly account for either your existence or mine,and that we both stay riddles without answers."

  "Still, sir," said Manuel, "inasmuch as there is one thing only whichall death's ravishings have never taken from life, and that thing is theMisery of earth--"

  "Your premiss is indisputable, but what do you deduce from this?"

  Manuel smiled slowly and sleepily. "I deduce, sir, that you, also, whohave not ever been dead, cannot possibly be certain as to what happenswhen one is dead. And so I shall stick to my own opinion about the lifeto come."

  "But your opinion is absurd, on the face of it."

  "That may very well be, sir, but it is much more comfortable to livewith than is your opinion, and living is my occupation just now. Dying Ishall attend to in its due turn, and, of the two, my opinion is the morepleasant to die with. Thereafter, if your opinion be right, I shallnever even know that my opinion was wrong: so that I have everything togain, in the way of pleasurable anticipations anyhow, and I have nothingwhatever to lose, by clinging to the foolish fond old faith which myfathers had before me," said Manuel, as sturdily as ever.

  "Yes, but how in this world--?"

  "Ah, sir," says Manuel, still smiling, "in this world men are nourishedby their beliefs; and it
well may be that, yonder also, their sustenanceis the same."

  But at this moment came Reeri (a little crimson naked man, having thehead of a monkey) with his cock in one hand and his gnarled club in theother. Necessarily the Blood Demon's arrival put an end to theirtalking, for that turn.