A Dream of Red Mansion

by Cao Xueqin

  “That’s a fine drinking-game, and this is just the time for it,” approved the old lady.

  She sent for a black lacquered drum with copper studs which was kept for drinking-games, asked the story-tellers to beat it, and took a spray of red plum-blossom from the table.

  “Whoever has the blossom when the drum stops must drink a cup and say something,” she decreed.

  “The rest of us aren’t so smart as our Old Ancestress,” objected Xifeng. “If we get stuck, it won’t be any fun. Let’s find something that highbrows and lowbrows alike can enjoy. Suppose the one caught with the blossom tells a joke?”

  As Xifeng was noted for her jokes and endless fund of original quips, this met with the approval of all the feasters as well as the maid-servants there, both old and young. The young maids hurried out to urge their friends:

  “Come quick! The Second Mistress it going to tell a joke.”

  In no time at all the room was crowded with maids.

  As soon as the performance ended, the old lady had refreshments sent to Wenguan and the other actresses. Then she ordered the drumming to start. The story-tellers, being old hands at this, varied the tempo and the plum was passed from hand to hand to its rhythm. First slow as the dripping of water from a clepsydra, the drumming soon gathered speed like the patter of peas being poured into a bowl. Then, after a rapid tattoo like a horse stampeding or sudden flashes of lightning, the sound abruptly broke off just as the plum-blossom reached the old lady’s hand. A roar of laughter went up, and Jia Rong at once stepped forward to fill her cup.

  “Naturally the old lady’s face should light up first,” cried the others. “Then we shall be able to share in her happiness.”

  “I don’t mind drinking a cup,” she rejoined. “But I can’t think of a joke.”

  “Why, your Ladyship knows even more and better jokes than Xifeng,” they expostulated. “Do tell us a good one, madam.”

  “I’ve no new jokes, but I’ll just have to brazen it out. So here goes,” said the old lady. “Well, a family had ten sons and ten daughters-in-law. The tenth daughter-in-law was the cleverest, so smart and so well-spoken that she was the favourite of her father and mother-in-law, who kept finding fault with the nine others. This seemed so unfair that the others put their heads together.

  “‘We’ve been dutiful daughters-in-law,’ they said. ‘We’re just not as smooth-spoken as that bitch, which is why the old couple keep on singing her praises. Who can we complain to about this injustice?’

  “The eldest one suggested, ‘Let’s go tomorrow to the Temple of the King of Hell to offer incense and complain to him. We’ll ask why, since we’ve all been born human, that bitch alone was given the gift of the gab while the rest of us are so dumb?’

  “The other eight approved of this idea. They all went the nest day to the temple and offered incense, then slept there at the foot of the altar while their spirits waited for the King of Hell to appear. They waited for a long time but nothing happened, and they were growing impatient when they saw Monkey King come somersaulting down through the clouds. At sight of these nine spirits, he raised his magic staff and threatened to beat them. The nine spirits knelt down fearfully to beg for mercy. Then Monkey asked what brought them there, and they told him the whole story. He stamped his foot.

  “‘So that’s the reason!’“ he sighed, it’s a good thing you met me. If you’d waited for the King of Hell, he wouldn’t have known.’

  “The nine spirits pleaded, ‘Have pity and tell us, Great Sage. That’s all we ask. ‘

  “‘That’s easy,’ answered Monkey with a smile. ‘The day you ten girls were born, I’d gone to visit the King of Hell and happened to piss on the ground. Your youngest sister-in-law lapped it up. If you want the gift of the gab, I’ve plenty more piss you can drink if you like.’“

  The whole company burst out laughing.

  “Fine!” cried Xifeng. “It’s lucky we’re all so dumb here. Otherwise people might say we’d drunk monkey’s piss.”

  Madam You and Madam Lou joked to Li Wan, “The one who’s drunk monkey’s piss is playing innocent!”

  Aunt Xue remarked with a chuckle, “Topical jokes are always the funniest.”

  The drums started up again then, and some young maids who just wanted to hear Xifeng’s jokes softly told the story-tellers that they would cough when it was time to stop. The plum-blossom went round twice and had just reached Xifeng when they coughed, and silence fell.

  “Now we’ve caught her!” the others exulted. “Drink up quickly and let us have a good one. Just don’t make us split our sides laughing.”

  Xifeng drained her cup and thought for a second.

  “In the middle of the first month,” she began, “during the Lantern Festival a family was having a line lively time, enjoying lanterns and drinking together. There were the great-grandmother, grandmother, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, grand-daughters-in-law, great-grand-daughters-in-law, grandsons, grand-nephews and a pack of great-great-grandsons, as well as grand-daughters and grand-nieces on the paternal and maternal sides, and grand-nieces on the brothers’ and sisters’ sides... Aiya, it was really lively....”

  Already laughing they cried, “Listen to the way she runs on. Who else is she going to put in.?”

  “If you drag me in I’ll pinch your lips,” warned Madam You.

  Xifeng sprang to her feet to protest, “Here am I hard at work, yet you keep butting in. All right, I won’t say any more.”

  “Go on,” urged the old lady. “What happened?”

  Xifeng reflected before answering, “They sat up together feasting all night, and then the party broke up.”

  Having said this gravely with a straight face she stopped. The others waited in some mystification for her to go on, but all that followed was an icy silence.

  Xiangyun stared at Xifeng until she said with a smile, “Here’s another about the Lantern Festival. A man carried a fire-cracker as large as a house out of town to let it off, and thousands of people followed to watch. One fellow was so impatient that he set light to it on the sly with a stick of incense. Then—Whizz! Bang!—the crowd roared with laughter and dispersed. But the man carrying the fire-cracker complained:

  “‘What a sloppy job the cracker-maker did! How could it burst apart before being lit?’“

  “Surely he’d heard the bang?” objected Xiangyun.

  “The man was deaf,” Xifeng told her.

  When this had sunk in, everybody burst out laughing.

  Then reverting to the unfinished joke they asked: “What happened afterwards in your first story? Do finish that one too.”

  “What a question to ask!” cried Xifeng, banging the table. “The next day would have been the sixteenth, when the festival would be over and I suppose everyone would be busy clearing up. In that flurry who’d know what happened afterwards?”

  At this they laughed again.

  “The fourth watch has sounded outside,” announced Xifeng. “I think our Old Ancestress is tired, and it’s time for us to whizz off too like that deaf man’s fire-cracker.”

  All the rest were rocking with laughter, their handkerchiefs pressed to their mouths. Madam You wagged a finger at Xifeng.

  “How this creature does rattle on!” she spluttered.

  “The minx is growing perter all the time,” chuckled the Lady Dowager. “She mentioned fire-crackers. We’ll let off some fireworks, too, to sober ourselves up.”

  Jia Rong promptly went out to get pages to set up screens and stands in the courtyard on which to place or hang the fireworks. These had come as tribute from different parts of the country, and although not very large they were most ingeniously made in different colours, ornamented with scenes from stories and fitted with all kinds of fire-crackers.

  As Daiyu was too delicate to stand much noise, her grandmother help her close to her while Aunt Xue put her arms around Xiangyun, who declared with a smile that she was not afraid.

  “She likes nothing better than
letting off big fire-crackers herself,” explained Baochai. “Why should she be scared of these?”

  Lady Wang had taken Baoyu on her lap.

  “No one cares for poor little me!” Xifeng complained.

  “I do,” chuckled Madam You. “Come and sit on my knee and don’t be afraid. You’re behaving like a spoilt brat again. The sound of fireworks has sent you off your head, just as if you’d eaten bees’ wax.”

  “When this party’s over let’s go and let off fireworks in the Garden,” proposed Xifeng gaily. “I’m better at that than those page boys.”

  Meanwhile a pyrotechnical display was going on outside, including sparklers like “A Skyful of Stars,” “Nine Dragons Soar to the Clouds,” “A Bolt from the Blue,” and ‘Ten Peals in the Air.”

  After this they ordered the young actresses to perform Lotus Flowers Fall, largesse was scattered all over the stage and the little girls scampered round gaily to snatch up the coins.

  By the time soup was served the Lady Dowager remarked, “It’s been a long night and I feel rather hungry.”

  “We’ve prepared some duck congee,” Xifeng told her.

  “I’d prefer something less greasy,” was the reply.

  “There’s date congee too for the ladies observing a fast.”

  “One’s too greasy, the other too sweet,” complained the old lady.

  “We’ve almond gruel as well. Only I’m afraid that’s sweet too.”

  “That will do for me.”

  Then the tables were cleared, fresh delicacies served, and after a small collation they rinsed their mouths with tea and the party broke up.

  In the morning of the seventeenth they went to the Ning Mansion’s Ancestral Temple to sacrifice once more, after which the temple gates were closed, the ancestral portraits put away, and everybody went home.

  That day Aunt Xue asked the others over to a New-Year feast. Other feasts were given by the stewards—on the eighteenth by Lai Da, on the nineteenth by Lai Sheng of the Ning Mansion, on the twentieth by Lin Zhixiao, on the twenty-first by Shan Taliang, and on the twenty-second by Wu Xindeng. The Lady Dowager went to some of these only, staying on till the end if she was in a good mood, otherwise leaving after a short time.

  As for relatives and friends who came in person to invite the Jias to a feast Or to enjoy a feast given by them, she declined to meet all, making Lady Wang, Lady Xing and Xifeng entertain the callers for her. And Baoyu, claiming that his grandmother needed him to amuse her, went nowhere but to Wang Ziteng’s house. So the old lady attended only those stewards’ family parties where she could relax and enjoy herself. But enough of this.

  Soon the festival was over. To know what happened afterwards, read the next chapter.

  Chapter 55

  A Stupid Concubine Insults Her Own Daughter in a Futile Squabble

  A Spiteful Servant Imposes Upon Her Young Mistress

  The Lantern Festival passed. As one of the Dowager Concubines was unwell and the Emperor was known for his filial piety which had brought harmony to the land, all the Imperial Concubines ate and dressed simply, their visits home were cancelled, and there were no New-Year feasts or entertainments in the Palace. Consequently, there was no display of lantern riddles in the Rong Mansion this year.

  No sooner was the bustle of New Year over than Xifeng had a miscarriage. She had to stop running the household for a month, and two or three doctors attended her every day; but overestimating her own strength, although staying indoors she continued mapping out plans for the household, which Pinger was sent to report to Lady Wang. All advice to rest she ignored.

  Lady Wang felt as if she had lost her right arm, and simply had not the energy to cope. She decided important matters herself, entrusting lesser domestic affairs to Li Wan for the time being. But Li Wan, being one of those people who have more virtue than ability, inevitably let the servants have their own way; so Lady Wang told Tanchun to help her out for a month, until Xifeng was well enough to take over again.

  Xifeng had a delicate constitution, however, and as a girl had never looked after her health. In her passion to shine she had overtaxed her strength, with the result that her miscarriage left her very weak. A month after it she was still losing blood. Although she kept this a secret, everyone could see from her pallor and loss of weight that she was not taking proper care of herself. Lady Wang urged her not to worry about family affairs, but just to take medicine and recuperate. And as she herself was afraid that if she fell really ill other people would gloat, she concentrated on getting better as soon as possible. However, she did not start to mend for some time: not until the autumn did she begin to recover and gradually stop losing blood. But this is anticipating.

  Meanwhile, seeing that for the time being Tanchun and Li Wan could hardly be relieved of their responsibilities, and that there were many people in the Garden who needed to be kept in order, Lady Wang enlisted Baochai’s help as well.

  “The old serving-women are no use,” she told her. “They drink and gamble whenever they have the chance, sleeping during the day so as to play cards at night. I know all they’re up to. When Xifeng was up and about there was someone to scare them, but now they’ll be taking advantage. You’re a good steady girl, my dear. Your cousins are young and I’m busy do you mind putting yourself out, for a couple of days, to keep an eye on things for me? If there’s anything I overlook, come and let me know before the old lady asks and I’m stumped for an answer. If the servants misbehave, just tell them off. If they won’t listen, let me know. We don’t want to have any trouble.”

  Baochai had to agree to this.

  It was now early spring and Daiyu was coughing again while Xiangyun too was under the weather, confined to her bed in Alpinia Park, taking medicine day after day. As Tanchun and Li Wan lived some distance from each other, now that they were working together it proved so inconvenient sending messages to and fro that they arranged to settle their business every morning in the small three-roomed hall south of the Garden gate. They took to having breakfast there and returning to their own quarters about noon.

  This hall had served as the headquarters for the eunuchs in charge at the time of the Imperial Consort’s visit, since when it had only been used by some old maid-servants who kept watch there at night. As the weather was warm now no major repairs were needed: a little fixing up made the place fit for the two of them to use. The tablet over this hall bore the inscription “Assisting Benevolence and Discussing Virtue,” but members of the household called it the Council Hall.

  Now the two young mistresses came here at six every morning and did not leave until noon, after an endless stream of women-servants had reported on the matters entrusted to them. These women had all exulted secretly at the news that Li Wan was to be in sole charge, thinking her too kind-hearted to punish anyone, and obviously much easier to impose on than Xifeng. It did not worry them either when Tanchun later joined her, for they discounted her as a young unmarried girl who had always been most pleasant and easy-going. So they became much slacker than before. After only a few days, however, it dawned on them from the way certain matters were handled that Tanchun was every bit as alert as Xifeng, being simply more soft-spoken and even-tempered.

  It happened now that a dozen or so promotions, demotions, marriages or funerals in the families of nobles or hereditary officials related to or friendly with the Rong and Ning houses kept Lady Wang busy for several days in a row, paying visits of congratulation or condolence. This left her less time than ever to attend to affairs at home.

  So Li Wan and Tanchun remained in the hall all day long, while Baochai supervised the servants in Lady Wang’s apartments until her return; and last thing at night, after doing some needlework, she would make a tour of the Garden in a small sedan-chair accompanied by those on watch. Thus the three of them controlled things even more strictly than when Xifeng was in charge.

  “We’re only just rid of one demon patrolling the sea, and here come three guardian mountain spirits instead!”
all the servants started grousing secretly.

  “We’ve not even a chance now to drink and play cards at night.”

  One day, Lady Wang was invited to a feast in the house of the Marquis of Jinxiang. Li Wan and Tanchun rose early to attend her until she left, then went back to the hall. They were sipping tea there when Wu Xindeng’s wife came in to inform them that Zhao Guoji, the brother of Concubine Zhao, had died the previous day.

  “I reported this yesterday to the mistress,” she said. “She told me to let you ladies know.”

  She made no further comment after this, just stood by at respectful attention.

  All the servants who had come to report on business were eager to see how these two would handle the matter. If it was handled correctly they would respect them; if the least mistake was made, not only would they despise them, once out of the inner gate they would start gossiping and making fun of them. Mrs. Wu knew what should be done, and had she been dealing with Xifeng she would have made various suggestions to curry favour, quoting precedents for her to decide between. But as she looked down on Li Wan as a simpleton and Tanchun as only a girl, she said no more, waiting to see what the two of them would do.

  Tanchun consulted Li Wan, who thought for a moment.

  “The other day when Xiren’s mother died, I understand she was given forty taels,” she said. “We can give the same amount.”

  Mrs. Wu promptly assented, took the tally and was about to go off when Tanchun stopped her.

  “Don’t go for the money yet,” said Tanchun. “I’ve something to ask you. Some of those old concubines in the old lady’s apartments came from outside, some from families serving here. There was a distinction. If a relative of one from our household died, how much was given? How much to one from outside? Give us a couple of examples.”

  When questioned like this, Mrs. Wu could not remember.