Darkness Past

by Sherryl Hancock

  “Well,” Colby said, “I have you, and Kash is just like a mom—she tells me to brush my teeth, take my shoes off, do my homework, stuff like that. So I have two moms.”

  Sierra looked at Kashena, her eyes widening slightly, then looked at her son again.

  “And would it bother you if Kashena and I got married?”

  “It’s just like a party, right?” Colby said.

  “Kind of,” Sierra said, rolling her eyes at the over-simplification. “But it would mean that Kashena would be a permanent part of our lives.”

  “Isn’t she permanent now?” Colby asked, looking a little alarmed at the idea that she might not be.

  Kashena chuckled at that. “Yes, Colby, I am,” she assured him. “But I think what your mom is wondering is how you’d like having me as a permanent part of your life.”

  Colby looked down, suddenly shy. His lips pressed together boyishly, then he looked up at Kashena and his mother with eyes so innocent. “I’d like it,” he said quietly.

  “Well, good,” Kashena said. “’Cause I think you’re stuck with me.”

  Colby laughed as Kashena poked him in the stomach. A round of tickling ensued. The three of them wound up laughing and lying on the bed trying to catch their breath.

  Later, when Sierra returned from putting Colby to bed, Kashena noticed she had a pointed look on her face. Kashena watched her as she sat on the bed in front of her. She raised an eyebrow at the smaller woman.

  “That wasn’t your idea of a proposal, was it?” Kashena asked, a smile playing at her lips.

  Sierra chewed at her lower lip, her eyes sparkling.

  “Oh my God, it was,” Kashena said, her tone aghast as she rolled her eyes.

  “Stop it,” Sierra said, pouting.

  Kashena laughed. “If that’s the best you can do,” she said, putting her finger under Sierra’s chin and tilting it toward hers, “then leave it to me.”

  She kissed Sierra’s lips softly, then pulled back and looked into her eyes.

  “Sierra, will you marry me?”

  Sierra bit her lip, her eyes bright as she smiled. “You know I will.”

  “Well, no, I didn’t until just a little while ago,” Kashena said.

  Sierra stared back at her. “Really?”

  “Sierra, I know that Colby means the world to you, and that you need to know he’s going to be okay with everything. So until I heard that he was okay with us being together, I didn’t know if we’d ever be permanently together as we are. You know?”

  “You never said anything,” Sierra said, shaking her head.

  “Sierra, I’m with you. It doesn’t matter to me if there are rings on our fingers to represent that or not. If it never came to that, I’d be fine. I knew it would take time. I expected it to take a lot longer than this for Colby to come to understand what we are to each other. But I wasn’t about to push.”

  Sierra shook her head. “You’re so amazing to me,” she said, her voice soft. “For someone who’s never been a mother, you understand what it means so easily.”

  “I love you, and you’re a mother. I know what Colby means to you,” Kashena said, shrugging. “I respect that.”

  Sierra smiled, still astounded at Kashena’s way of thinking.

  “Speaking of marriage,” Kashena said, “you did RSVP for Kana’s wedding, didn’t you?”

  “Of course,” Sierra said. “Kana called me and asked that you and I be there—how was I going to say no to that?”

  “She’s not your boss,” Kashena pointed out.

  “No, but she’s yours,” Sierra said.

  Kashena chuckled. “Blackmail always works best.”

  “Stop, you respect her much more than you’ll admit.”

  “Yes, I do,” Kashena said.

  “I knew that.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  ***

  Kana and Palani’s wedding was the topic of yet another conversation that evening. Cat lay in her bed, sleeping. Elizabeth, who had a key to Cat’s apartment, stood in the doorway to the bedroom watching her.

  “So you are home,” Elizabeth said finally, her voice loud enough to wake Cat.

  Cat’s head snapped around, then she relaxed visibly.

  “Hey, Bet,” she said, tiredly. “Yeah, I’m home.”

  Elizabeth walked toward the bed. “I didn’t know if you were going to make it back in time…”

  “For K’s wedding? You know she’d kick my ass if I missed it,” Cat said, turning over onto her back.

  Elizabeth stared down at her. Catalina Roché had no idea how beautiful she was, with her long straight blond hair, bright blue eyes, perfect face, and body that could stop a Mack truck. That body was eloquently on display, since she was naked and barely covered by a sheet.

  “Did you have a good time?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Do you really want to know?”

  Elizabeth made a face. “Not really, no.”

  Cat chuckled. “Why do you ask questions you don’t really want the answers to, then?”

  “I have no idea,” Elizabeth said, sighing. “I’ve missed you.”

  Cat smiled. “I’ve missed you too, Bet,” she replied, patting the bed next to her.

  Elizabeth kicked off her boots and lay down next to Cat.

  Cat had been gone for two weeks. Sable had sent her a ticket to London, and Cat had taken the time off to go. She hadn’t been sure when she’d be back, so it had been a waiting game for Elizabeth.

  “So, you are going to the wedding,” Elizabeth hedged, trying to ignore the fact that Cat’s body was far too close for comfort.

  “Yes,” Cat said, grinning, noticing Elizabeth’s discomfort.

  “I don’t suppose Sable is coming here to go with you, is she?” Elizabeth asked.

  “No,” Cat replied. “She’s going to be in Germany about that time.”

  Elizabeth nodded, biting her lip.

  “So, would you mind going with me?” she asked.

  “You don’t have a date?”

  Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at Cat. “You know there’s no one I want to see except you, Catalina. Don’t play coy with me.”

  Cat laughed at that one. “Always to the point, aren’t you, Ms. Endicott?”

  “Always,” Elizabeth said with a smile. “So will you go with me?”

  “Yes,” Cat said.

  “Lovely,” Elizabeth replied, sounding very English.

  “Mm-hmm,” Cat said, nuzzling Elizabeth’s hair tiredly.

  “Did you just get home?” Elizabeth asked, suddenly realizing that was quite possible.

  “Uh-huh,” Cat said, sounding distinctly tired now.

  “Oh, Cat, I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said. “I just… well, I wanted to make sure… Never mind, I’ll let you get back to sleep,” she said as she moved to get up.

  Cat’s hold tightened on her waist. “Uh-uh,” Cat murmured, sounding like a stubborn child.

  Elizabeth pressed her lips together, as if physically suppressing the thrill that went through her. Cat and she hadn’t been together physically in quite a while, since before the breakup months before. Since getting back to San Diego from San Francisco, they’d gone out a few times, hung out watching movies, and had dinner at the restaurant, but nothing physical had happened. Elizabeth had every intention of waiting until Catalina made the first move. This was all up to her now; Elizabeth knew she’d given up that power when she’d foolishly cheated on Cat. Now she was willing to wait for Cat, no matter how long it took.

  “Do you want me to stay?” Elizabeth asked softly.

  In response, Cat snuggled in farther, holding her closer still. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Cat, happy to have this moment at least. She did her best not to overthink things. Cat ruined what little reserve she had left when she slid her hands under the linen blouse Elizabeth wore, touching bare skin. Elizabeth sighed out loud. Cat snuggled with her, not moving to do anything more. Letting Cat set the pace, Elizabeth simply held her, stroking her hair whi
le she drifted off to sleep. Reflecting on it, Elizabeth realized that even this was heaven to her. She missed the closeness she’d shared with Cat. No one else made her feel the way Cat did, safe as well as protective. It was an odd combination. But when she was with Cat, she felt she would take on anyone that would hurt her, and she knew Cat would do the same. She had done the same—she’d come to rescue her, and that was something Elizabeth would not soon forget.

  ***

  “You’re dying for a cigarette, aren’t you?” Palani asked as Kana pulled into the airport parking lot in Los Angeles.

  Kana grimaced. “That noticeable, huh?”

  “Your hands are shaking, and you’re chewing on anything you can get your hands on,” Palani said. “So either you’re craving a cigarette or you’re teething,” she added, winking at Kana.

  Kana chuckled, shaking her head and sighing. “Yeah, I’m kinda wishing I’d waited to quit.”

  “You could have,” Palani said, knowing Kana was dealing with a lot of stress right now without her usual outlet.

  “I know,” Kana said, finding a parking space and parking the Navigator. “But since we decided to keep Nat here to work on that whole baby thing, I knew I was going to need to quit soon anyway. Now was as good a time as any.”

  Palani bit her lip. “Yes, but are you going to end up killing someone before the wedding in two days?”

  “Possibly,” Kana said as she got out of the car and walked around to open Palani’s door for her. “But I promise, I’ll only kill Tiny.”

  “Oh, good,” Palani said, rolling her eyes. “Kill your partner, that’ll be great.”

  Kana chuckled, taking Palani’s hand and leading her toward the terminal. They were there to pick up Palani’s parents. Mika and Anone Malifa had flown into Los Angeles, as Mika had some queries to make the following morning before they drove back down to San Diego with Kana and Palani.

  Anone Malifa was all for her daughter marrying Kana—she felt that Kana made Palani very happy, and that was all a mother could want for her daughter. Mika, however, being a very traditional Samoan male, wasn’t so sure about all of this. He wanted Palani to be happy, but he wasn’t altogether sure about marriage to another woman. On top of that, his daughter wanted to have a baby, and raise this baby with Kana. They intended to use Kana’s brother as the sperm donor, so the baby would have both Kana’s and Palani’s DNA. It was all a bit too much for Mika.

  Kana leaned against a pole outside the gate as they waited for Palani’s parents’ plane to land. Palani watched her mate, knowing Kana was nervous about seeing Mika and Anone again. Their last meeting had ended amicably, but Kana had sensed Mika’s hesitation, and it put her on edge. The last thing Kana was used to was seeking anyone’s approval of her lifestyle. Having to seek Mika’s was really difficult for her, but she was doing it for Palani.

  Palani was close to her parents but had intended to marry Kana whether they approved or not. It was Kana’s edict that Palani not only tell her parents about marrying a woman, but also that she ask for, rather than demand, their approval. Kana knew the way of a Samoan family, and she knew that Palani being disowned by her parents wouldn’t be the right way to start their life together.

  Palani walked over to Kana and stood in front of her. Kana grinned on seeing the way Palani was searching her face.

  “I’m fine,” Kana told her.

  Palani smiled in response. The paparazzi clicked away, always interested in these two if they got a chance to see them together. World-famous Palani Ryker and her lesbian girlfriend, Kana Sorbinno, bodyguard to Attorney General Midnight Chevalier.

  “Don’t you people ever get bored?” Kana asked over Palani’s head.

  “Not with you two,” one photographer said.

  “Go bug DeNiro or someone, huh?” Kana cajoled.

  Palani leaned in, hugging Kana, not caring if anyone took pictures of the two of them together. She wanted the whole world to know that she loved this woman, and let them think what they wanted about that. Kana’s arms wrapped around her, one hand coming up to caress her neck, the other at her back. Palani snuggled into Kana’s embrace, forgetting everything and everyone else.

  “Palani?” Anone said from behind her daughter a couple of minutes later.

  “Mama!” Palani said, smiling as she turned in Kana’s arms.

  Kana let her go as Anone stepped forward, smiling first at her daughter, then up at Kana as well.

  “It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Malifa,” Kana said, inclining her head to Anone.

  “It is good to see you too, Kana,” Anone said, smiling, as she hugged her daughter.

  “Can I take that for you?” Kana asked, reaching for the small valise Anone held.

  “Thank you,” Anone said graciously. “You’re looking well,” she observed. “I hope everything is settled down from that terrible business a few months ago.”

  “Oh yes,” Kana said, smiling. “We’re all back to normal again.”

  “Very good,” Anone said, nodding.

  “Mr. Malifa,” Kana said, inclining her head to Palani’s father as he walked up.

  “Ms. Sorbinno,” Mika Malifa said, extending his hand to Kana. “You’re looking well.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Kana said. “How was your flight?”

  “Fine, fine,” he said. “Long, but fine.” He smiled.

  Kana chuckled, and she and Mika turned to follow Palani and Anone down the passageway toward baggage claim.

  Two hours later, they’d checked into the hotel they were staying in for the night in Los Angeles. Kana and Palani had their own room. Kana lay on the bed, trying to avoid thinking about wanting a cigarette. Palani climbed onto the bed and reached out to touch Kana’s back. Kana was lying on her stomach, her arms wrapped around a pillow under her head.

  “You are so tense,” Palani said, straddling Kana’s waist and starting to massage her back.

  “I know,” Kana groaned. “Mmm…” she said when Palani hit a particularly tense spot.

  “Okay, that’s it,” Palani said, moving to get off the bed. “You,” she ordered, “off that bed, and into the shower. I want you to soak for twenty minutes, then I’m going to get rid of all that tension if it kills me.”

  Kana turned over onto her back.

  “And if I have a better idea for getting rid of the tension?” she asked in a suggestive tone.

  “Kana Akua Lee!” Palani exclaimed. “You get up and get in that shower. If we use your method, you’ll only twist yourself into more knots.”

  Kana laughed out loud at that. “True,” she said, sighing as she got up off the bed. “You win. I’ll take a shower.”

  “Good,” Palani said, leaning in to kiss Kana’s shoulder.

  The shower was followed by an hour-long massage, with Palani using her arsenal of massage oils infused with essential oils to help relax Kana’s tight muscles. By the time they went down to meet Anone and Mika for dinner, Kana was very relaxed, and it showed. She expressed her gratitude for Palani’s ministrations by being extremely attentive and openly affectionate. It was something she wouldn’t normally have been in front of Palani’s parents, considering their not being used to their daughter’s rather new sexual orientation.

  Anone saw the affection in every look, every gesture, and heard it in every word Kana spoke to Palani and about her as well.

  “So, what will you be wearing for the wedding?” Anone asked Kana.

  Kana glanced at Palani. “You’d have to ask your daughter that, Anone.” She smiled warmly. “She’s reserved the exclusive right to pick out my wardrobe for the wedding.”

  “Really?” Anone said, looking to her daughter.

  Palani waved her hand. “I can’t tell you right now, Mother,” she said, smiling at Kana, “but trust me, it’s fantastic.”

  “You trust her to buy you clothes?” Anone asked Kana.

  “She knows me pretty well,” Kana said, canting her head to the side and looking at her girlfriend. “I trust her
not to make me look too weird.”

  “No dresses,” Palani assured.

  “No dresses,” Kana echoed, winking at Palani.

  “Have you seen Palani’s dress?” Anone asked, curious if this wedding was going to follow tradition.

  “Nope,” Kana said. “Palani’s forbidden it.”

  “Good,” Anone said. “It’s bad luck.”

  Kana smiled. “We don’t want any of that.”

  “Kana, will anyone give you away at the wedding? Your father?” Mika asked.

  Kana looked at Palani for a moment, then back at Mika. “No,” she said. “I’m giving myself to Palani alone.”

  Mika looked dismayed by this answer. “But surely your father would want the honor…”

  “I’m sure he would have,” Kana said, “but this is something that I chose to do for myself. I chose this path, this lifestyle. So I’m going into this on my own.”

  Mika nodded, looking like he was trying to understand. “But you still wish me to give you away, Palani?” Mika asked, looking at his daughter.

  “Yes, Father,” Palani said. “This is how I want to go into marriage to Kana.”

  Palani and Kana exchanged a look and a smile. They’d discussed this at length. Kana didn’t feel the need to be given away by anyone—she was too independent for such an antiquated ideal. Palani, however, still felt that she wanted her father’s approval and that by giving her to Kana, he would be approving in front of everyone at the ceremony. Kana had explained it to Mika in a way that left his dignity intact, as well as her independence.

  “Are you having bridesmaids?” Anone asked, interested in how this wedding would go.

  “No,” Palani said. “Midnight Chevalier is standing up for me as kind of my maid of honor, and Kana’s partner, Tiny, is standing up for her.”

  “Tiny?” Anone asked.

  “It’s a nickname,” Kana said. “He’s a true Samoan, size and all.” She grinned.

  “Oh,” Anone said, laughing softly, getting the irony of Tiny’s nickname.

  The following day, Kana drove them back to San Diego. On the way, Palani could see that Kana was getting tense again. Reaching over from the passenger seat of the Navigator, Palani put her hand to the back of Kana’s neck, rubbing it gently. Kana made a contented sound in the back of her throat. After a few minutes, Kana took Palani’s hand, kissing her palm and then holding it, her elbow resting on the console between them. Palani slid her other hand and arm around Kana’s upper arm, and she leaned against Kana’s shoulder, sighing softly. Anone smiled from the back seat. It was easy to see that the two made a good couple. It was also easy to see that they were very much in love.