by Tee O'Fallon
She’d never considered those things. “I don’t know,” she admitted, fear coiling in her gut that she’d been so insensitive.
“You have to admit there’s truth in what I’m saying.”
“Some. Perhaps.” An ache grew steadily behind her eyes. One that matched the growing ache in her heart.
“He’ll leave you as soon as the newness wears off. As soon as he realizes being the pet of a very rich, very famous woman isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
She leaned back and hugged a pillow to her chest. Dayne was a proud man. He had every right to be. But was Colin right? Was it fair to do that to Dayne? Worse, was she setting herself up to be with a man who would leave her when he realized how difficult their relationship would be?
Her heart told her what they had was more meaningful than a fling or a byproduct of the intense circumstances that had brought them together.
Colin sat beside her, his voice softening. “You’re infatuated, but it will pass.” Again, he took her hands in his, and this time, she was too numb to resist. “I promise it will.”
Her chest tightened. “I don’t want it to pass.” She was falling more in love with Dayne every day. “Colin.” She jerked her hands away. “It’s time for you to go.”
“Okay. For now. But one day you’ll see that you don’t have to be in love with someone to make a good life with them. For people like us, the best matches are made for other reasons. Practical ones.” He stood. “Remember, I’m here for you. I’ve always been here.”
After he’d gone, she remained on the sofa. Colin would never be the one for her. That hadn’t changed. But he was right. There were other things to consider. Like whether her love was enough to keep Dayne and make him happy.
Her lids lowered, and she could barely keep them open. It was one p.m., and already she was exhausted enough to sleep until tomorrow. She dragged herself to a window and watched one of the guards patrolling the tree line. When she turned around, Dayne stood there, watching her silently.
Needing to go to him—to feel the comfort of his arms around her—she took a step closer then stopped. Her scalp prickled with unease. Rather than being pleased at her stalwart defense of him and their relationship, his expression was unreadable.
“What’s wrong?” She reached for him, but he shoved his hands through his hair, momentarily shutting his eyes. When he looked at her again, her throat constricted painfully.
He didn’t say a word. Didn’t have to. Dark brows drew together and the pain in his eyes was so sharp she felt it dead center in her chest.
Kat didn’t understand how or why, but she knew.
I’m losing him.
Then slowly, her heart cracked into tiny little pieces.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dayne hadn’t meant to eavesdrop.
Who was he kidding? Of course he had. Although he wished to hell he hadn’t. Every one of his senses was numb—no, make that mashed to a pulp—as if he’d been run over by a truck.
Colin was a prick, but he was also a shrewd attorney. The bastard had made his case and won. Kat hadn’t caved. Dayne had.
“Didn’t you hear what I said to Colin?” she cried.
The stark anguish on her face about killed him. “I did.” Every word had been a knife slice to his guts. She’d stuck up for him, and he couldn’t have been prouder. But he’d also heard the doubt in her voice. Doubt she had every right to feel.
She touched his arm, and his blood sizzled with need and so many emotions he couldn’t name. But he had to let her go.
“I don’t understand what’s happening here.” Her brow furrowed. “Are you angry with me?”
“No. I’m not.” It was all he could do not to take her in his arms, but that would only put off the inevitable.
She cupped his face and he turned into it, loving the softness of her fingers on his cheek and knowing he would never feel her touch again after today. “Colin was wrong. So we have a lot to work through. We can do it. I know we can.”
Gently, he tugged her hand away, wishing she were right. Knowing now that it wasn’t possible. “I know you think so, but it’s too much to ask. We are too different. We could never make it work.” He’d been crazy and selfish to think otherwise. It was just that he wanted her so badly. Wanted to be part of her life.
She planted her fists on her hips. “How can you believe anything Colin said? You heard how he tried to manipulate me. Don’t let him manipulate you.”
Dayne shook his head, feeling more miserable than he’d ever felt in his life. “He made valid points. I don’t know how I feel about never being able to buy you anything because you already have everything money can buy.”
“No, I don’t. I don’t have you! You’re all I want.” Her eyes clouded with so much despair, he nearly fell to his knees. “Don’t do this.”
“I have to.” The pain and hurt on her face were killing him faster than any bullet could. “We’d only wind up hurting each other. I don’t fit in here. It’s better to end it now.” Before he lost more of his heart to her.
“You fit in just fine last night,” she insisted.
He had, but it didn’t change a thing. “You shouldn’t have to defend my honor or explain anything on my behalf, and I don’t want you to. The price is too high.”
“What does that mean?” she cried.
“It means there will always be someone out there accusing me of being a thief or a gold digger. Of only wanting your money and of being nothing more than your ‘pet.’”
“I don’t care about that.” A single tear trickled down her cheek.
There was only one thing he could give her. Her freedom.
“It’s not about living in your shadow,” he continued, barely able to get the words past the enormous lump in his throat. “It’s about us being able to just be us, and that’s something that can never happen. You’re the most generous, kind, and compassionate person I’ve ever met. I was being selfish. All I’ve done is turn your orderly world upside down. Today’s headlines are proof of that.”
With an angry swipe, she flicked that lone tear away and gritted her teeth. “I don’t care about the headlines. I never did.”
“You should. The kind of publicity you got last night could damage your reputation and every business dealing you have. I don’t want to be responsible for that. I can’t go through that again.” The last time he had, his family had nearly lost everything. He couldn’t allow that to happen to Kat.
Her mouth fell open and she took a step back. “That’s what this is about. Not me. You. You have so many insecurities and fears about your past. About what Crystal did to you and your family and that woman who wouldn’t marry you because you weren’t going to be a rich doctor. That’s why you’re so easily swayed by Colin. You’re afraid it will happen again and you’re afraid to give us a chance.”
Remy and Angus padded into the foyer, their heads hung low.
Some of what Kat said was true. Hell, all of it. Christ, he hadn’t meant for things to come to this but they had, and now he had to reap what he’d sown. What they’d both sown.
“I’m sorry, Kat. One day you’ll see this is for the best.” So why did it feel like his entire world was imploding?
Her eyes went wide with a mixture of shock and outrage. “That’s bullshit. How can you end this so easily? Don’t you feel anything for me?”
More than you’ll ever know. His throat clogged with so much emotion and regret he had to look away. Anywhere but at the heartache written all over her face. And as for this being easy on him, walking away from her would be the hardest thing he’d ever do in his life.
Her lips quivered until she pressed them together. “If that’s the way you feel then get out!” She pointed to the door.
A surge of protectiveness so fierce and ingrained soared to the surface. “Not happening.” Not
with a killer out there. Their future wasn’t together, but he damn well intended to make sure she had one.
“This is my house and I don’t want you here.” Tears spilled freely down her cheeks, each one like acid burning through his heart.
“You may not want me here, but you need me. In case you’ve forgotten, someone may be trying to kill you.”
“I haven’t forgotten. I’ll hire more security to take your place. I’ll hire an army if I have to. Just get out. Please, Dayne,” she implored on a choked sob. “Go. I can’t take this anymore. It hurts too much.”
Jesus. He didn’t think there was anything she could have said that would convince him to leave her. That did. He couldn’t hurt her anymore. But he wouldn’t leave her alone, either. “I’ll make arrangements for Kade or another FBI agent to take my place tonight.”
Somehow, and against every instinct and fiber of his being, he forced his legs to move. Numbly, he went to his room and packed his and Remy’s things. His only recourse was to do everything in his power to catch this guy before he got to her.
When he returned to the foyer, Kat was nowhere in sight. Before opening the front door, he stared at the spot on the floor where she’d been standing.
Sure enough, she’d eviscerated him. Left his guts in a bloody heap on her pricy Italian marble floor. He didn’t know how his heart was beating, not when it was shattering.
It was his own damn fault. He’d gone and fallen in love with the last woman he should want. And could never have.
…
Kat lost track of how long she cried. Hours probably. The pillowcase was damp beneath her cheek, as was the wad of tissues clutched in her hand. The early evening sky outside her window had turned gray and dreary.
True to his word, Dayne had arranged for another agent to stay at the castle in his place. Special Agent Beth Shanahan. The woman seemed pleasant and capable enough, but it wasn’t the same. She wasn’t Dayne.
“Oh, Angus,” she said to the puppy. After Dayne had left with Remy, Angus had cried nonstop for twenty minutes. Only after she’d tucked him to her side did he settle down. “He should have given us a chance. How could he do this?”
Angus didn’t answer, just watched her from soulful puppy eyes.
Her belly shook with renewed sobs. The ache in her heart was so deep and raw. She hadn’t known she could hurt this badly. Was this what love did to a person? If so, the pain was too great to bear.
She gripped the sheet tighter. It felt like she was dying inside. Maybe she would be better off settling for a good match, instead of holding out for true love. That way she could never be hurt this badly again.
She hadn’t expected to fall in love, hadn’t been prepared for it. But he was gone, and she had to accept it. People she loved—her parents—had left her before, and she’d survived. Somehow. She’d busy herself with work, maybe go into the city more often. Perhaps get back into the nightlife scene.
Her stomach roiled at the thought. That kind of life hadn’t been for her before Dayne, and it wasn’t now. She’d only be fooling herself. Trying to become something she wasn’t so she could forget him.
“I can’t forget him, Angus.” The puppy snuggled closer and licked her nose. It didn’t matter that she’d only known him a fraction of the time she’d known all her other friends, because she knew him, and they were connected in a way she hadn’t known existed. She was completely in love with him and without reservation. Nothing would ever change that.
Isolation and gut-wrenching grief washed over her in painful waves, and her body quaked with renewed sobs.
All her money and the power that came with it… She’d told Dayne the absolute truth. None of it mattered. The one thing she wanted in the entire world—she couldn’t have.
Him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“It’s deer blood. I swear it.” Daniel Fitzgerald pointed to the knife Dayne found in a camouflage backpack in the trunk of Fitzgerald’s gray Nissan sedan. The blade was caked with dried blood.
He held the end of the knife handle with a rag. According to the ME’s report, it was the right size and type. Smooth edged and about five inches long.
Fitzgerald pulled his cell phone from his pocket and began pecking away. “I have pictures of the deer I killed back in December. See?” He handed Paulson the phone.
Dayne eyed Fitzgerald cautiously. With Kat’s life still on the line he wasn’t taking any chances.
Before driving away from the castle hours earlier, he and Remy had parked by the gate, waiting for his replacement. After that, he couldn’t just sit there on his ass doing nothing, so he’d hooked up with Paulson to assist with interviewing owners of the last two gray sedans on the list.
Fitzgerald didn’t look anything like the subject in Becca’s photo or Kat’s sketch. This guy was about five-four, blond hair, clean shaven, and with gray eyes. The suspect Kat described was five-ten, with a mustache and beard, and brown hair and eyes.
“Can you account for where you were on Tuesday, March twenty-seventh between four p.m. and midnight?” he asked.
Fitzgerald thought for a moment, then his eyes rounded. “Yes! I was in Baltimore for work. I haven’t submitted my voucher yet, so I still have all my receipts.”
Dayne tipped his head to the condo. “Get them.”
They followed Fitzgerald inside. Minutes later, he supplied a short stack of receipts with time and date stamps that further solidified his alibi. Fitzgerald hadn’t been anywhere near Becca’s office or the Haven on the days in question.
Dayne dragged a hand down his face. He wanted this guy, and he wanted him bad. But Fitzgerald wasn’t their man. He gave Paulson a quick shake of his head.
Back outside, he pulled out the list of sedans he’d left on the dashboard. Check marks accompanied every vehicle on the list but one. All the other registered owners had been interviewed and discarded as suspects. They were either too old, too young, didn’t fit the description, had alibis, or any combination thereof. One vehicle remained, although it was registered to a woman.
Paulson stood by his unmarked unit. “Who’s next?”
“Carolyn Mauser. Nine eighty-five Oak Court, Edison, New Jersey.” The address was about twenty minutes away. They’d already run all the registrants for the vehicles on the list and knew Carolyn Mauser had no criminal history. Being a woman, she couldn’t have been the one to attack Kat, but they couldn’t be certain Becca’s killer and Kat’s attacker were one and the same. It also didn’t mean someone else hadn’t used Carolyn Mauser’s vehicle.
“Meet you there.” Paulson got into his car.
Dayne was certain the memory card photos were the key to the investigation. The only other thing he could do was sit outside the building in Englewood tomorrow morning and see if the same gray sedan showed up.
He sat behind the wheel and started the engine when Paulson ran over.
“Wait!” the detective shouted. Dayne lowered his window. “We’ve got something.” Paulson enlarged whatever he’d pulled up on his cell. “Verizon came through with their subpoena production.”
“On a Sunday?” He couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice.
“No.” Paulson shook his head. “The original email was dated Friday, but the departmental email server kicked it back as being suspicious. Eventually, it got through.”
“And?”
“The subscriber for the last call on Rebecca Garman’s phone.” Paulson paused. “It’s Carolyn Mauser.”
They stared at each other, processing the ramifications.
Carolyn Mauser owned a gray Nissan, similar to the one Kat saw parked outside Becca’s, and with five of the six license plate digits on Becca’s photo. Carolyn Mauser was also the last person to talk with Becca right before she was murdered.
Or someone else using the same phone.
“Did that name
pop up in any of Rebecca’s case files?” Paulson shook his head. “But remember, one of the case files is missing. Stand by.” Dayne tugged his own cell from his belt. “I want to check something.”
First, he ran Carolyn Mauser through DMV. He didn’t recognize her from her DL photo. Next, he ran her address through TLO—a widely used commercial database—and found three other people associated with the same address. From their DOBs, two were teenagers, a girl and a boy. The third was an adult. Christian Mauser.
He went back into DMV and ran Christian Mauser. When he pulled up the man’s DL photo, his blood ran cold. He held his phone out to Paulson.
“Oh fuck.”
Yeah. Oh fuck.
Christian Mauser was five-ten, brown hair, mustache and beard, and with brown eyes. The face staring back at them looked a helluva lot like the man in Kat’s sketch and could very well be the subject in Becca’s photo. The critical word in that sentence being could.
Kat had described her attacker’s eyes as being cloudy, but Dayne couldn’t enlarge Mauser’s image enough to verify that.
“One last thing before we head down there.” He took his phone back from the detective then ran Mauser for a criminal history. “Negative. The guy’s squeaky clean.” Yet something had the hackles on the back of his neck waving back and forth in warning. “Let’s get down there. Fast.”
…
Kat yawned. Her abdominal muscles ached from crying hours on end. She pulled the gauzy taupe curtain aside. It was only eight p.m., but the sky over the river was as black as ink. Like her mood.
Dayne was out there somewhere because she’d sent him away. No matter how many times she relived their last conversation, the end game was always the same. She loved him with all her heart, but being near him would have been unbearable.
Angus sat up from where he’d been curled happily at the foot of her bed. She and Agent Shanahan had taken him out earlier and met Hakeem, the new guard on duty. He was so young. Surprisingly young to be armed with a gun.