Hood River Zero (Hood River Hoodlums Book 4)
Page 22
She jolts up, frowning at me. “I want to stay here.”
Garrett’s eyes narrow as he darts them back and forth between us.
“No, Penny. It’s time for you to go home.” I pin her with my firmest stare. “You’re hurt and your dad is a doctor. Just go.”
Anger flashes in her blue eyes, but I don’t stick around to argue with her. I need time to process what happened. While I’m thrilled to have Zella with me, I am disgusted that Penny’s been going over there God only knows how many times, endangering herself.
I need a break.
I need to think.
I need to focus on Zella and I can’t do that right now with Penny.
I just can’t.
Penny
One week later…
“Hey, bruiser,” Jace says from the kitchen. “You look like hell.”
I flip him off as I move past him for some cereal. Truth is, I feel tons better. My face is still wrecked from what Jack did, but I survived. But, when all the bruises fade, I’ll still be this mess of a girl on the inside.
It scared me.
So bad.
I’d never felt like my life was truly in danger. Not when I held a gun to Ryan’s face for attacking Charlotte. Not when Cal’s parents’ house was on fire and we were trapped inside. Not when Eli and his goons tried to rape me. Not when he and Grayson shoved me into the boys’ bathroom.
But at Jack’s?
When he was beating the living crap out of me?
A sense of overwhelming self-preservation washed over me. I knew it was flee or die. I had to escape or I wouldn’t live to tell it.
Jace sets his cereal bowl down, making me jump. I freeze, but don’t shove him away when he hugs me from behind. It’s a dad hug. And since Dad is off with Elise this morning, I could use a dad hug.
“Want to talk about it?” he asks.
“Nope.”
“Didn’t think so.” He sighs. “They’ll find him. You know that, right?”
A shudder wracks through me. “Yep.”
“If he shows his ass up here, I’ll throw him off the balcony, Penny. No one is hurting my girl under my watch.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “You’re such a badass, pet.”
“Not nearly half as badass as you,” he teases. “Now cheer up. You gotta help me reply back to this chick who wants to fuck but only if I prove I’m not a psycho.”
“But you are a psycho,” I drawl out.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that. You’re better at words than I am. You know I hate this online dating shit. In my day, we saw someone we wanted to fuck, we bought them a drink, and then we fucked. Simple. Now, they want a goddamned résumé and personal references. I’m not savvy enough for this.”
I pull away from his hold that went from fatherly to suffocating in six seconds. I love Jace like an uncle, but I don’t like feeling confined.
“You could go to the bar. Find some skank to suck your dick,” I suggest.
“A bar is how I got myself in prison,” he reminds me. “I only go when your daddy can go with me to keep me out of trouble.”
“You do realize you’re asking a virgin teenager for dating advice. New low, pet. New low.”
“Glad to know big T didn’t take your V-card yet. I guess he does like you.” He smirks. “Make him wait. It’ll be good for him.”
My lip curls up. “We can talk about your whorish sex life until we’re blue in the face because it’s funny as fuck and I do like to make fun of you for it, however, my sex life—or lack thereof—is not up for discussion.”
“You wound me, kid.” He holds his palm to his massive chest and gives me sad, puppy dog eyes.
I let out a heavy sigh. “He won’t talk to me.”
“Terrence?”
“No, the fucking pope! Yes, Terrence,” I snap.
He pokes my stomach, making me wince because my ribs still hurt. “Don’t be a bitch, P. Are you on the rag? You need to put that shit on Garrett’s family calendar so I know when to throw chocolate at you and keep a safe distance away.”
We both look over at Dad’s calendar on the fridge and laugh. It’s so over the top and so Dad. He likes order, that’s for damn sure.
“I am not on my period and I’m certainly not writing that in on the calendar. Jesus, you’re such a dick,” I complain.
“I’m the only dick you put up with.” He flinches and his face sours. “I meant asshole, not literal dick. Fuck. You know what I mean.”
“Stop talking.”
He goes from flustered to amused as he playfully zips up his lips.
“He’s mad that I sat for Zella and never told him,” I explain with a frown. “I was trying to protect her while not interfering with his custody. It’s that simple.”
“Pretty fucking stupid, too,” Jace says unhelpfully.
I frown as I pour some cereal into the bowl. I know it was stupid. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. Now, I realize why Terrence wouldn’t have let me go. I was in over my head and never even realized it.
“He won’t reply to my texts.” My voice shakes and tears burn at my eyes. “I don’t think he’s getting over it.”
“If he cares about you, he will,” Jace assures me.
His phone buzzes and then he starts laughing. “Oh fuck. He didn’t.”
“What?”
“Your dad just left Elise’s house. They broke up.”
“No way!” I say, snagging his phone to confirm what he just said. “About damn time. Elise was such a bitch.”
“Elise wanted a rich dweeb she could boss around and spend all his money,” Jace reveals. “Our boy Gary will daddy the fuck out of some girl one day, but he will not sit on the sidelines while some cunt drains him and tries to make him feel like shit.”
“Tell me how you really feel,” I deadpan.
“Elise is a bitch. I don’t like her.”
“So does this mean you and Dad are going to be on the prowl again? I don’t think I can handle it again. You’re both so gross.”
Jace snorts out a laugh. “You’re definitely on the rag.”
I smack him in the arm. “I’m not. I’m just in a bad mood because my boyfriend won’t respond to me.”
“He’ll come around,” he assures me. “If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve you. You’re unique, Penny English. A one of a kind bitch.”
“You’re such a master with words, pet. Put that on my birthday cake.”
He grins at me. “Deal.”
I roll my eyes at him. The doorbell rings, saving me from any more Jace jokes. As I hurry out of the kitchen, I can’t help but feel a swell of hope that it’s Terrence. He can’t be mad at me forever. I fling open the door and my heart leaps into my throat.
It’s him.
Terrence.
I could almost cry at seeing him. He’s so handsome it hurts to look at him. His glasses make him a million times hotter than usual and his droopy eye is looking more normal since he started wearing them. Today he’s in a fitted white Henley that showcases all his sculpted muscles. His dark jeans hug his muscular thighs and his Timberland wheat-colored boots finish off the sexy look. The laces are undone in a sloppy way that looks really, really good. His facial hair is trimmed short and precise like always. I missed touching him. I crave to reach up and run my finger along the severe shave line on his cheek so I can feel both the scruff and the smoothness of his skin.
It’s his expression that keeps my hands firmly planted at my sides.
“Hi, Smash,” I say, swallowing down the nerves in my stomach. “Want to come in?”
“I don’t have a lot of time. Cal’s babysitting Zella. This won’t take long, Penny.”
My chest aches and bile rises in my throat. “What’s up?”
I miss his smile. I miss the twinkle in his mahogany eyes. I miss his playfulness.
Nothing about him seems warm or friendly, which terrifies me.
Surely I didn’t push him away completely.
“I…” He scowls and looks down at his boots. “We should talk.”
“We are talking,” I state, my voice higher than normal.
“We had a lot of fun.” His gaze lifts to meet mine, but there’s a hardness there I’ve never seen directed my way.
Had.
Had
We had a lot of fun.
“Terrence,” I whimper, reaching for him.
He takes a step back, sending my heart plummeting.
“But that’s all it was. Fun,” he says coolly. “I see that now. I should have known better getting involved with someone so young.”
All I can do is gape at him, tears quickly forming in my eyes.
“I need to focus on Zella right now.” His jaw clenches as his eyes zero in on a tear that races down my cheek. “I,” he utters, his voice hoarse. “I want to help the investigators find her mother.”
“Don’t shut me out,” I beg, choking back a sob as more tears roll out.
His features twist painfully. “I think you did enough shutting out for both of us.”
“Terrence.” I reach for him again, but a severe shake of his head has me stopping. “I could help you find her mom.”
“You’ve done enough helping,” he rumbles. “I can do this on my own.”
“What about us?” The tears won’t stop and I can’t control them. Charlotte’s the crier in our family, not me.
“There can’t be an us. Not without trust. I lost it a week ago when you walked through my door beat to shit and I had no clue how the fuck it happened.” He rubs at the back of his neck, shooting me a pained expression. “I can’t be what I need to be for Zella and always be worrying about you, Penny. I can’t. After what happened, I will always wonder what else you aren’t telling me. I get it. You’re closed off. I always thought I’d be the one you let in. Now, I realize, I’m not that guy.”
“You are,” I argue, my bottom lip wobbling.
“I’m not.” He lets out a ragged sigh. “Take care of yourself. I’ll see you at practice.”
He stalks down the hallway and disappears into the elevator. My legs give out, sending me crashing to the floor as a sob overcomes me. Tears stream down my cheeks as pain pokes deadly holes in my heart.
We’re not over.
How could he even suggest such a thing?
I get him and he gets me.
You don’t just throw that away.
Guilt consumes me. I knew it was a bad idea keeping it from him. I just always thought if he found out, he’d be mad and get over it. I never expected him to put an end to us. I cry so hard the floor blurs in front of me. Strong arms scoop me up like I’m a child. Dad’s not here, but the next best thing is. I cling to Jace, sobbing against his tattooed neck.
“I got you, kiddo,” he assures me.
“What am I gonna do, pet? He broke my heart.”
“You’re going to cry it out. And then, Penny, you’re going to get right back up. You’re going to keep moving. You’re an English. You people are not weak.”
I cry silently, wondering how I get over this. The sound of Jace’s breathing seems like it’s louder today. The air conditioner cuts on and makes the blinds rattle. I can hear the annoying kid upstairs bouncing around. The water in the bathroom sink drips in a loud, maddening way.
“What do you need?” Jace asks.
“I need my AirPods.”
He hands me my phone and AirPods. I flick on the white nose channel and crank it up. The soothing sound silences it all.
Nothing can silence the wails of pain that echo inside my mind.
Jace lingers, offering a comforting presence, but eventually he leaves me to my despair.
We broke up. Terrence and I broke up.
It’s going to take a long time to get over this.
Terrence
April
Don’t think about it.
Man, don’t think about it.
I can’t help it, though. Every time I look at Zella, my heart breaks. She doesn’t understand. I told her in the best way I knew how, but she shrugged and went along her merry way.
Garrett says she doesn’t have the capacity to process that information. In time, she’ll begin to understand, and then I’ll need to make sure she has the counseling and support she needs. Until then, I am to just keep being her dad.
Fuck.
None of this was ever supposed to happen.
I was supposed to find Lacey and we were going to co-parent like nobody has ever seen. We were going to be successful at it. A team who loved their daughter and would do anything for her.
We never got the chance.
It’s been a couple of months since I broke it off with Penny, but I ache to talk to her right now. Some nights, it’s everything I can do to not find her contact in my phone and reach out.
I miss her.
I need her.
I want her.
But, now, more than ever, I’m furious at her. She put her life in danger. Penny could have ended up like Lacey.
I still remember Fitzgerald’s face a month ago as he explained to me they discovered the bodies of both Lacey and Vicki. Forensics showed that Vicki died from a broken neck. Lacey’s was more traumatic. A blunt object struck her in the head and she died from swelling of the brain. Jack’s DNA was all over them. He killed them, buried them under a couple of rose bushes in their backyard, and then brought Zella back to Hood River, clearly trying to outrun his past.
And Penny was there with him the whole time.
Taking his shit. Alone.
He tried to rape and kill her, for fuck’s sake.
Anger simmers in my gut. As pissed as I am at her, I crave to pull her in my arms and remind myself she lived. She’s safe.
“You want to hold her?” Hollis asks, sitting down beside me with their new baby girl. “I thought I’d give Roan a break from pushing the swings.”
I chuckle as I dart my gaze to Roan. He’s been taking turns pushing Sebban and Zella, who keep squealing to go faster. “Yeah, I’ll hold her.”
Hollis passes me Hope and then hands me her bottle. I stare down at the little girl they adopted about a month ago. She doesn’t look like that fucker Wes Ewing, which is a good thing. In fact, the girl has the same coloring as Hollis—blond hair, fair skin, and intense blue eyes.
“You’re a cute little thing, aren’t you?” I coo, grinning down at the baby as I offer her the bottle.
She pins me with a curious stare as she devours her bottle. Roan plops down beside me on the outdoor love seat, leaning down to kiss Hope.
“I can’t believe this life is mine,” he says, his voice soft and unlike anything I’ve ever heard from him.
I follow his stare to where Hollis now pushes the kids. Their new backyard is huge, butting up to a thicket of woods. The house itself is older, but it’s big. Much bigger than the garage apartment they had before. It’s a fixer-upper, but I’m learning Roan is actually quite handy.
“Dad and I are going to tackle the kitchen next weekend. Pray for me,” he jokes, a smile tugging at his lips.
I can’t help but chuckle. Jace was proud as fuck to be asked by Roan to help fix up the house they bought. He’s been on his best behavior too. Where Roux let him back into her heart, he’s had to work extra hard for Roan. Roan is still frosty toward Jace at times, but he’s getting there. Plus, Jace is a good construction worker. He has good ideas and is patient when showing Roan how to do stuff. It’s the perfect project to bring them back together. The house needs lots of work, so they’ll get to spend plenty of time together.
“How are you doing, man?” Roan asks, his brows furling.
“Great. I got my little girl. I can’t ask for more.”
Roan sighs. “How are you handling Lacey’s death?”
“I’m pissed,” I reveal.
“I hate Jack and wish the authorities would find him. I’m angry at Lacey for not telling me what a monster he was when we slept together all those years ago. I feel like I could have helped her if she’d told me.” I shrug. “Mostly, I feel helpless. My little girl doesn’t understand her mother is dead. She isn’t processing it like she should. I’m worried it’ll come out later.”
“I hear you,” he mutters. “You’re doing great, though. Just think, a year ago, you were still trying to fuck one of your professors before you graduated from college. No kid. No accident. No psycho Jack. You were living your best asshole life.”
We both laugh.
“But now look at you.” He grins at me. “A damn good dad. You survived a fucking coma. And you’re adulting like a motherfucker. Growing up looks good on you.”
“How’s Penny?” I ask, unable to stop myself from blurting out the words. “I mean, I see her at practice and games. I just didn’t know how she was doing.”
Roan studies me for a long while. “She’s fine.”
“Fine?”
“Penny’s just being Penny.” He frowns. “Maybe more strange than usual. Snappy. Distant. Jumpy. Sad.”
Guilt stabs me in the chest. Every time I think of the way she broke down crying when I ended things with us, it guts me. It took everything in me not to pull her to my chest and soothe her. Some nights, I replay that day in my head, hating how I made her cry.
But I was upset.
Furious even.
She lied and could have ended up right where Lacey did.
Still, I miss her.
“We tried to invite her over tonight, but she said no.”
I lift a brow at him. “Because I was coming over?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” he says with a smirk. “No, it’s her birthday.”
“She had better plans?”
“No.” He sighs. “She has no plans.”
My stomach twists painfully. “Why not?”
“She doesn’t want to celebrate. I mean, she was forced to over the weekend. Kelsey got her favorite cupcakes and cooked dinner. We gave her gifts and sang ‘Happy Birthday,’ but that was the extent of it. Today’s her actual birthday, but she won’t even let Tierra take her out.”