by Johnson, Cat
He leaned his face into her palm and squeezed his eyes shut before pulling away. He paced the small bedroom, shaking his head. “No, Iris. You don’t really love me. You love who I was before.” He stopped and faced her, gesturing at himself. “This guy? You don’t want to love this. I’m too broken to offer you anything that resembles what you deserve. I can’t be that guy.”
“What guy is that exactly?”
“The guy that says the right things. Who doesn’t ignore the truth instead of facing it. Who doesn’t have to scan a room looking for threats. Who isn’t hard to love. The one who can protect you and be your hero.”
Anger propelled Iris off the bed, sheet fisted against her chest. “You think I want a hero? I don’t care about that. In case you haven’t noticed, my track record with heroes isn’t so great. Every man I’ve ever loved died trying to be a hero. First my dad, then Jason.”
With his hands on his hips, he stared at her. “And now, me.”
Her head snapped back as though he’d slapped her. “What?”
His whiskey eyes turned cold. “My body is here, but that’s it. So unless you only love my body, the things you loved about me years ago are gone. Are you listening, Iris? He’s. Fucking. Gone. And he isn’t coming back.”
She moved closer until their bodies nearly brushed together, but her shudder wasn’t caused by the need she had for him in her soul. It was rage, fear. “I don’t need saving, Landon. By you or anyone else. Furthermore, I don’t want it. I can take care of myself.”
“I won’t burden you with someone to fix.”
To her horror, tears filled her eyes. “What was last night to you? A bucket list item? You finally fucked me so you can check it off the list?”
The color drained from his face, and the only sound in the room was the roaring in her ears. “It was like coming up for air. A balm for the heart I no longer have. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. But I love you enough to let you go. Find a man that isn’t broken beyond repair.”
“You’re scared, Landon Gray. And you’d rather be scared than be with me, so you know what? Fuck you. You’re not trying to save me. You’re just trying to save yourself.”
He held her stare for a moment before stepping back and gathering his things. All she could do was stand there and watch him dress, numbness paralyzing her. Landon stopped in the doorway and turned back. Her heart ripped in two at the sadness in his eyes, the slump in his shoulders.
“Broken people leave people broken. Trust me, Iris. I’m not worth it.”
A moment later, the front door closed softly, but it echoed in the room. She sank to the floor in a puddle of white cotton, tears running down her face.
It wasn’t the first time he’d walked away with her heart.
But it would be the last.
7
A Good Man in the Storm
Landon pulled open the door to Maggie’s Diner, his senses assaulted by the smells of coffee and greasy food. When his cousin Aidan Reynolds called and asked him to breakfast, Landon was tempted to say no. But even his parents had started to steer clear of him. Whether it was his surly mood or the fact he hadn’t showered in days, he wasn’t sure.
It had been ten days since he’d walked out of Iris’s apartment. Ten days since he’d ripped out the best part of his life. He wasn’t just in love with her, but her friendship had been everything to him. Now it was ruined.
Fuck.
He blew out a breath, his gaze scanning the diner. Of course, there were no threats on a weekday, midmorning in a small southern town, but old habits die hard. Aidan waved from the back, and a smile touched Landon’s lips for the first time in days.
Ten to be exact.
“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Aidan slid out of the booth and held out his hand. They shook and gave one-armed hugs in the way guys do.
“Good. You?”
Aidan smirked, but his eyes assessed Landon. “Well, I know I look better than you. You look like hell.”
Landon half smiled and shook his head. “Some things never change. Like your ego and the fact you’re still an asshole.”
Aidan laughed and gestured to the coffee cup in front of Landon. “I had Emma bring you some coffee. Drink it.”
“Thanks,” Landon said, sipping the rich brew. His cup hit the table with a thud. “Did you say Emma? As in our cousin?”
“One and the same.”
Landon’s mind raced. He’d heard Emma had run into some trouble with alcohol. “She works here? Since when?”
Aidan’s eyes glanced over before responding. “Here she comes now.”
A beautiful brunette in a peach waitress uniform stopped at their table. “Landon, it is you! Give me a hug.”
With joy in his heart, Landon stood with a smile and wrapped his cousin in a bear hug. “Been a while.”
She stepped back and looked him over. “I’ll say. What’s it been? Five, six years?”
“Something like that.” He tilted his head. “When did you get back here?”
A shadow crossed otherwise-clear eyes the same color as his. Judging by the look in hers, they also shared a broken spirit.
She looked down at her order pad, tapping the pencil against it. “About a year ago. After my mom passed away, I stayed. I’m working here until I can find a better-paying job.”
“Did the interview pan out?” Aidan asked.
Her eyes lit up. “It did. I’m meeting with the owner, Shane Kavanaugh, next week.”
“Congrats on the interview. I’m sorry about your mom,” Landon said, sitting back down.
“Thanks. Now, what can I get you guys?”
Emma took their order and walked off. Aidan caught him up on other family news for a few minutes before getting serious.
“Before I tell you why I called, you need to tell me what’s going on.”
Landon’s brow quirked. “What do you mean?”
Aidan leaned forward, his blue eyes serious. “I mean, two weeks ago, you looked like the old Landon. You looked happy, rested. Like a man ready to move on from the shit he went through. Now?” Aidan shook his head and leaned back with a thump against the booth. “You look like you’ve given up. What gives?”
Landon leaned forward, dropping his head in his hands. “I’m in love with Iris Armstrong.”
Aidan laughed. “Dude, it’s a running bet in Madison Ridge as to when the two of you will finally acknowledge what everyone has known since high school. This isn’t news.”
Landon raised his head. “Jesus. Well, I fucked it up good when I walked out on her after we slept together.”
Emma walked up on the last part of his sentence and, with a raised brow, set their plates down slowly. She hollered over her shoulder. “Maggie, I’m taking my break.”
“Shit,” Landon muttered and leaned back in his seat as Emma scooted in next to Aidan.
“Explain yourself. I got fifteen minutes,” Emma demanded.
Over the eggs and toast he barely touched, Landon told his cousins about how he and Iris had reconnected over the last few weeks and how it all culminated in a night he’d never forget—though he left out those details—but then fucked up a lifelong relationship in one fell swoop.
“Oh, Landon…” Emma and Aidan shared a look.
“What’s that look?” Landon asked.
“Well,” Emma started, “I think you can repair this. But you’re going to need a big grand gesture.”
Landon shook his head. “There’s no fixing this, Emma. I’m too broken to be anything but a burden to her.”
Emma leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Landon, I can’t imagine the terror and pain you went through. But I understand the guilt you carry. I have plenty to be guilty for. I’m an alcoholic. In recovery, yes. But I live with the guilt of letting down my family, the hundreds of people that worked for my company I had to sell, and myself. My mother never saw me sober. She was too sick to realize it by the time I got clean.”
She leaned back and looked dow
n at her hands, then lifted her gaze to his. “I’m broken too, Landon. Maybe beyond repair, I don’t know. But I can tell you that if I found a man that would love me in spite of my brokenness? I’d do what I could to keep him.”
“I understand the nightmares,” Aidan said, “and the being afraid to sleep. I still struggle after three years. But one day I decided my time I put in with the military was no longer going to define me. That chapter’s closed.”
Aidan pushed his plate away with a sigh. “Landon, people die in war. It’s awful. But we both know you did all you could to save your men. And they still died. But they died honorably. Let them rest honorably. You walking around carrying this burden doesn’t bring them back, and worse, it doesn’t honor their sacrifice. Let them go, Landon. Let Iris help you.”
“She can handle it. But you have to let her,” Emma said.
He looked between his cousins as a flicker of hope ignited in his chest. These two had been through hell and back in their own ways and had done it on their own, without someone like he had in Iris. The truth was he didn’t want a life without Iris. A world without her in it would be like losing a limb. She was a warrior, and he needed a good man in the storm called his life. She’d proven she had his six time and again. What was he doing running away from that kind of support? That kind of love? Again?
He had a lot of ground to make up. Emma was right. He needed a big grand gesture.
Something to show Iris he wasn’t the same man he used to be, but the war hadn’t stolen all of his soul or the love he had for her.
8
Someone to Fix
The gym flooded with light when Iris flipped the switch. Her heart sank knowing her days at Ridge Fitness were numbered. In another week, she’d be managing a facility in Atlanta with a pay raise that made her eyes pop. In a few days, for the first time in her life, she’d no longer live in Madison Ridge.
The owners of Ridge Fitness had informed her they’d received another offer but that the new owners wanted her to stay on. To watch someone change things? Thanks, but no thanks. She knew she should be floating on air about her new job. Truth was, she was miserable, and the roller coaster in her stomach made her doubt her decision to leave.
A month had passed since Landon walked out, ending any sort of relationship between them. He hadn’t shown up for therapy, and her phone was quiet. In the days after he left, she’d holed up in her apartment, binge watching Grey’s Anatomy because seeing Meredith’s tormented life made her feel a smidge better about her own.
Five days later, she had popcorn in her hair, a Skittle stuck to her cheek, and her room looked like the junk food aisle exploded in it. When she came out of her sugar coma, she pulled herself out of bed and went back to living. She had packing to do.
It was just as well she lost the gym. Her family was gone. There was nothing holding her in Madison Ridge except memories too painful to contemplate.
For the next hour, she boxed up a few personal belongings and caught up on paperwork. When the bell on the front door rang, she went to the doorway and froze.
“Landon. What are you doing here?”
Eyes intense, he walked toward her. He stopped in front of her, close enough that his body heat and the spice of his cologne surrounded her. He smiled. “I need some rehabilitating. And you’re the only one who can help me.”
“I can’t—”
“Just hear me out, please?” He raised his brows, waiting for her to consent.
“Fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. The sooner he left, the sooner she could continue to pick up the pieces.
“Thank you.” He looked down at the floor for a moment before looking up with a smile. “I’m sorry. You were right. But I wasn’t just scared, I was terrified.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe his stupidity.
“I want to give you everything you deserve, be your forever guy. Who protects you when you need it and stands beside you when you can protect yourself. I don’t know if I’ll get it right all the time, but I want to try. You’re the missing piece to put me back together.” He stepped closer and cupped her face. “I can’t promise I’ll be easy to love. But I can promise I will love you with everything I have. It’s you, Iris. It’s always been you.”
Tears blurred her vision, her heart too big for her chest. “Landon, I don’t care if you’re hard to love, as long as you let me.”
He captured her mouth in a kiss that sent a shock to her toes. When he pulled back, he dropped his forehead to hers. “See why you’re the only trainer I need?”
Iris closed her eyes against the rising panic in her throat. “Um, about that.” She opened her eyes and new tears started to form. “I took a job in Atlanta. I’m moving next week.”
He pulled back, confusion on his handsome face. “What?”
“The owner sold out before I could secure my loan. It was an offer they couldn’t refuse.” The bitterness was ripe on her tongue.
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t you just stay here?”
“I could—the new owners wanted me to, but I…” What the hell would she do now?
“What if the owners gave you free rein to do whatever you wanted?”
She blinked. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of that.” She’d only thought about leaving behind her heartache.
Landon’s grin weakened her knees. God, he was sexy as hell. He pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to her. “I think the owners will be open to whatever you want.”
Her name was at the top of the deed to the building. “Landon, what did you do?”
“I bought the building. For you.”
“How did you…I can’t believe you did this.”
“I had some money set aside. It was a risk since I wasn’t sure you’d talk to me ever again.” He lifted her chin with the tip of his finger. “But you’re worth the risk. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving I’m worth you taking me on.”
With a squeal, she jumped in his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist like she had six weeks before. “I love you so much, Landon Gray.”
“I love you.”
She pulled back, her eyes meeting his. “You said I didn’t need someone to fix. The truth is, I do. As long as that someone is you.”
Epilogue
Six Months Later
Landon woke to find Iris kissing her way down his chest. Her long dark hair fell around her face, shrouding her in sexy mystery.
“That’s a damn fine sight to wake up to.” He bit back a gasp when she nipped his skin, the light brush of her teeth a delicious sting.
“Good morning, husband.”
“Good morning, wife.”
A week after he gave Iris his heart and soul, he moved in with her. The next week, he put a ring on her finger. Two months later, they had a small, intimate wedding in his parents’ backyard.
The gym thrived with Iris’s changes, and Aidan offered him a job with the city police department. When he wasn’t keeping law and order, he was at the gym with Iris. He still needed rehabilitative conditioning, but he was making huge strides, especially under his wife’s plan.
Landon didn’t know he could feel such joy. But that was what Iris brought him.
It didn’t hurt she was fucking hot and a wildcat in bed. He was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet to be able to spend forever with her.
The heat from her core had his dick begging to be inside her. But every time he tried to shift positions, she’d move away with a throaty chuckle. “Tsk, tsk. Patience my friend.”
Iris teased and taunted him until they were both whipped into a frenzy that even she couldn’t resist. He flipped her onto her back and slid into her heat. It didn’t take long for either of them to hit that peak and fall over the edge.
Landon curled up behind Iris, inhaling the unique combination of sex and the flowery scent of her hair. “You’re off today, right?” she asked.
“I am. Why?” His eyes slid closed, the lull of her husky voice washing over
him.
“I was wondering if you’d be interested in doing some house hunting.”
He opened one eye. “House hunting?”
“Yeah.” She paused, rolled over onto her back, and bit her lip. “In about seven months, this place is going to be too small.”
“Seven months? Why…” Both eyes popped open and he lifted his head to look down at her. “You mean?”
She nodded, and her indigo eyes were full of happiness. “I’m pregnant.”
Stunned, he couldn’t speak, but he moved his hand to span across her still-flat belly. “You’re carrying our baby.”
“I am.”
Time may have stopped—he couldn’t be sure. Everything he could ever want was in that bed with him.
“I love you, Iris. Let’s go find our home.”
About the Author
Eliza Peake is an international bestselling author of sexy, heartfelt, small town contemporary romance. She writes stories with smart, saucy heroines, charming, swoonworthy heroes who love their women in all the right ways, and happily ever afters with all the feels. She also co-hosts The Misfits Guide to Writing Indie Romance podcast.
In her downtime, she reads all the panty-melting romances she can get her hands on, drinks gallons of coffee, and tries to wrangle her addiction to Mexican food.
She currently resides in North Georgia with her family and dreams of retiring to the beach someday where she will continue writing steamy romance stories to her heart’s content.
Sign up for her newsletter, The Sneak Peake, at http://elizapeake.com/subscribe/
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