Nine First Dates

by Jennifer Ryder

  This date didn’t quite turn out like I planned, but I don’t want the night to be over.

  “Okay, Zac. I’m about to get all deep and meaningful on you.”

  He sighs as if he knows what’s coming. “Let’s hear it.”

  I hope what I’m about to say isn’t going too far. “If I overstep, please tell me.”

  He nods.

  “I’m guessing, given our set-up, that your mother doesn’t know about you being gay.”

  “Correct.” He leans back in his chair and rubs at the back of his neck. “My father had very strict beliefs.”

  May he rest in peace. “So, while he was alive, you made a choice to keep that part of you hidden from him, from your family?”

  “I’m not proud of it, but yeah. I did it to keep my family together.”

  My heart sinks. What a sacrifice he’s made. I can’t even imagine how hard it would be. Has he been alone all this time, or has he had relationships in private?

  “You’re an only child, so it’s just you and your mum now, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “I know you don’t live together, but you must lean on each other.”

  He tilts his head to the side. “Are you sure you’re suited for events management? You’d make a great therapist.”

  The waiter places a small glass of wine in front of each of us.

  I laugh. “Maybe. What I’m trying to say is that I’m sure she wants you to be happy. After all your family has been through, and whether or not she holds the same opinions as your dad, I think it’d crush her knowing you didn’t feel you could be honest with her.”

  Our desserts arrive. As much as I want to dive into my chocolate brownie, I pause.

  Zac nods and lowers his head, eyes on his fried ice-cream.

  “All I’m suggesting is that maybe you should think about telling her. Just imagine how good it’ll feel to be able to be exactly who you are?”

  He continues to stare at the table.

  “Zac,” I say to draw his attention. “Are you okay?”

  He looks up, his eyes brimming with tears. “I think I will. Think about it.”

  My vision blurs. I swipe a tear that courses down my cheek. “That’s great. I mean, I know it’s hard, but no matter what people think, you have to be you. You have to do you.”

  Zac snorts through his nose and dabs at his eyes with his napkin. “Wow.”

  “Wow?”

  He shakes his head and makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “Grown man crying, right here.”

  In that very moment, I happily give Zac a little piece of my heart. “Hey, crying for good reason.”

  We laugh and cry and let out the occasional snort as we eat our dessert.

  I have a good feeling that Zac is going to be okay.

  Tonight, I made a friend. It makes me all gooey inside, just like the decadent chocolate dessert in front of me.

  As we exit the restaurant, Zac places his arm around my shoulders. “I have to say, Abbie. Hands down, this is the best date I’ve been on in a long time.”

  Sweet, sweet Zac.

  “I one hundred percent agree.” I giggle as we walk towards the taxi rank. “And I don’t even have a penis.”

  Chapter Six – JAYDEN

  June

  Kate works with a guy called Cody. Cody’s younger brother, Jayden, is single. I’m told he’s a nice guy. That certainly puts him in a different league to Eric, Seth, and Austin.

  I’m halfway through the year, and no further ahead on the relationship front. Although I’ve been lucky enough to spend more time with Zac, who is becoming a close friend.

  It was Zac who convinced me to give Jayden a chance.

  Zac was brave enough to come out to his mother, which went better than he could’ve ever hoped, so, as he said, I need to put my big girl panties on, literally, and go on another date.

  Jayden and I have called each other a few times. Tonight, I’ll meet him face to face. We’re going to a house party at his brother’s place. Cody is turning thirty. I like that it’s a more casual way to meet. From the conversations we’ve had so far, he doesn’t seem like the type to do fine dining. He likes music festivals, concerts, and camping. It’s a big tick from me that he’s into the outdoors.

  Kate and her fiancé, Ben, are coming to the party for a while. At least I’ll feel like I have support if I need it. They go out of their way to pick me up so I can have a couple of drinks and not worry about leaving my car out there. Bless. The house is on a rural property on the outskirts of Canberra.

  Rugged up in our winter coats, we follow the lights along the driveway and the sign through to the back garden. It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

  “You got this, Abs. You’ll be fine,” Kate says, as if she senses my nerves.

  About twenty or so people are already huddled around a firepit, drinks in hand. It’s so cold I can see my breath, but damn, I love a fire.

  I should’ve brought marshmallows.

  A tall guy with cropped dark hair walks over to us, beer bottle in hand. He shakes Ben’s hand and then wraps Kate in a hug.

  “Happy birthday, Codes,” Kate says, and hands him a bottle of Bundaberg Rum with a red ribbon around it.

  “Thanks,” he says, and turns his attention to me and smiles. “You must be Abbie.”

  I extend my hand and force a smile. Why am I ready to chew my nails down to the bone? “Nice to meet you. Happy birthday.”

  He shakes it and then wraps his arm around my shoulders. From the smell of his breath, I’d say he’s been drinking for a few hours. “Let me introduce you to my little bro.”

  Here we go again.

  He walks me towards the fire where a guy of similar height with a solid build is standing, although his dark hair is much longer with curls.

  “He’s finally gotten over Sasha,” Cody says. “You’ll be good for him.”

  Please God. Don’t let me be the rebound girl.

  ***

  After an awkward introduction, Jayden hasn’t been all that chatty. It’s been hard to get him alone to talk. I get it. It’s a party. Maybe he’s nervous or prefers to have people around him for support. Kind of like me having Kate here, I guess.

  The thing I find weird is that he doesn’t make much eye contact.

  Is that just the way he is or is he not into me?

  I’d hoped that with each beer, he might’ve loosened up, become a little chattier, but no. I’m three ciders down, and normally I’d be a Chatty Cathy, but Jayden is a tough nut to crack, so I’m taking it easy. I don’t want to be all up in his face, blabbering like an idiot.

  I’m not desperate. I’m not going to force myself on someone, but I will make conversation and attempt to get to know him. My parents didn’t raise a quitter.

  I go to the bathroom, freshen up, and return to the fire, where for the first time tonight, Jayden is alone. The bright light from his phone casts a white glow on his face.

  Come on, Abbie. You can do this.

  As I approach him, he looks up. When our eyes meet, he grunts and puts his phone back in his pocket.

  I position myself with my back to the fire and bump my shoulder against his. “We’d be frozen solid without this fire, huh?”

  Riveting convo, Abbie. How about you steer clear of the weather talk.

  He flashes a fake smile and gulps down his drink.

  “I like your jacket, by the way,” I say, and rock back and forth on my heels. Yes, fashion is so much better to talk about.

  He scans the front of his hooded dark grey jacket, which looks like it’d be perfect for the snow.

  “My girlfriend, Sash—” He swallows down. “I mean, my ex bought it.”

  Holy moley. We’re going from bad to worse. I need to change the topic fast.

  “So, Kate tells me you’re a mechanic?”

  He burps, trying to mask the noise with his hand. Gross.

  “Yeah,” he finally says.

&nbs
p; “Did you always know you wanted to work with cars?”

  He kicks at the ground in front of him and sways before he plants both feet. “Fell into it,” he says, his words slurring. “Wasn’t mad about school.”

  I imagine how much better it would feel to be pulling at my own hair instead of listening to this conversation. Seriously, if someone were to record this and upload it as a podcast for insomniacs, I guarantee ninety-nine percent of people would be snoozing within seconds.

  “Whadyado,” he says.

  Finally, a question about me. Are we making progress, or is drunk Jayden starting to talk?

  “I’m in events management and studying. I always knew I wanted to be in event planning. It just took a while to find a job in the field.” I smile and try and gauge from his face if I should continue. “Miss Social Butterfly, my parents used to call me. Even as a kid I always went over the top with family get-togethers and parties.”

  “Ah-huh,” he mutters.

  A loud ring comes from nearby. Saved by the bell.

  “Fuck, th-that’s me,” Jayden says and stuffs his hand in his jeans pocket. It takes him a moment to fish it out. He stumbles as he holds the phone to his ear and walks away. “Sash,” he says and sighs. “How you?”

  Jayden walks away, leaving me by the fire.

  This date sucks balls.

  I turn and stare into the flames. I really should’ve brought marshmallows.

  What kind of person organises a party with a fire and doesn’t think of the sweet pillows of sugary goodness?

  An amateur. A non-camper. A non-planner.

  Someone taps me on the shoulder.

  I swing around to find Kate wearing a tight smile. Goddamn it. She’s about to bail.

  “How’s it going?” she says and moves beside me, reaching out her hands towards the flames.

  I scoff. “It’s going somewhere. Going south.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He just took a call from his ex.” Jayden is on the phone sitting on a bench seat farther down the yard. “And he’s still talking to her by the looks of it.”

  Kate shrugs and her mouth twitches into a nervous smile. “I think they dated for like five years. Maybe they’re still friends.”

  I pout. “Yeah, maybe. I think it’s rude though.”

  She wraps her arms around my shoulders. “I’m sure it’s something important.”

  Always the optimist. “Yeah, yeah.”

  “Anyway,” she says, and plants a kiss on my cheek, “sorry, but we have to head off. Ben’s parents have arrived, and we need to sort out table seating arrangements.”

  I’d ask her for a lift home, but it’s in the opposite direction to her place. I wrap my arms around her shoulders. “You sure you can’t stay for a bit longer?” I ask quietly in her ear.

  Kate pulls out of my embrace and grips both my hands in hers. “I wish. Little did we know despite having a casual wedding, without the formal bridal party and speeches, that it still very much matters who sits where.” She grips at her neck and makes out like she’s choking herself.

  Ben leans in and snakes his arms around her waist. “It’s not that bad, babe. We just need to keep my sisters on separate tables and everything else will be sweet.”

  I laugh. “No worries. I know how important it is to get those details right.”

  “Are you gonna be okay?” Ben asks, looking between Jayden and me.

  “Yeah, I’ll ring a cab in a little while. Thanks for the lift here.” I suppose I should wait for Jayden to finish his conversation and give him one more chance.

  Kate hugs me goodbye and off they go.

  I scan the yard to find only a handful of people left. Where did everyone disappear to all of a sudden? Maybe it’s the cold that’s got people wanting to head home, or maybe people were just doing the drop in to make an appearance like Kate and Ben. Or have they just moved inside?

  With the nineties music keeping me company, I sip my cider by the fire until it’s gone. As I place the bottle in a nearby bin, I search for Jayden. He’s still on the phone, but he’s sitting again, elbows on his knees. He wipes at his eyes. Oh, snap. Is he crying?

  A moment later, he springs to his feet. It takes him three attempts to put his phone in his pocket.

  He makes a beeline for a table near the house with bottles of spirits and snacks. He sweeps up a bottle of vodka, unscrews the lid, and makes his way to the fire. He tosses the lid into the flames, throws back his head, and sculls from the bottle.

  This will not end well.

  I move towards him and tap him on the shoulder. “Want me to get you some mixers?” Maybe that’ll help dilute the alcohol.

  He pulls the bottle from his lips. It takes a moment before his eyes can focus on my face. “Oh, it’s you.” He doesn’t remember my name. Wonderful.

  “It’s Abbie.”

  “Yeah,” he cries out. “Abbie with the pretty eyes and big, big thighs.” He chuckles and it turns into a maniacal laugh.

  My heart pounds hard in my chest. Blood rushes in my ears. Keep your cool. “I think I’ll be going,” I say through gritted teeth.

  He grips my upper arm and hauls me back. “S-sorry. Kidding. Your profile on Facebook”—hiccup—“said you exercise.”

  I shrug out of his hold. Hello, red flag.

  “I do. I love bike riding.” I stare at his small rounded belly. What do they say about people who live in glass houses and throwing stones?

  He stumbles and comes within inches of my face. “You know, you’d be much prettier if you lost like ten or so kilos.”

  Son of a monkey. He did not just go there. I don’t have to take this. “Okay, I’m out. I’d say it was nice meeting you, but …”

  He licks at his lips and his Adam’s apple bobs.

  Is he even going to apologise?

  I wait for it, but it doesn’t come. From his wandering gaze, it’s clear he can’t focus on my face.

  I swing around, collect my bag, and stride towards the house. Time to get the hell out of here. I pull my phone out and dial a cab. The line is busy.

  A heavy thud sounds on the ground behind me, followed by a low moan.

  I turn on my heel, and there lies Jayden—flat on his stomach, blood coming from his nose and a gash on his chin. Ouch. He must’ve connected with the concrete pavers.

  I look around and no one is in sight.

  Fork me. Could this night possibly get any worse?

  I jog back to him and lean down. “Jayden, are you okay?”

  He mumbles something I can’t understand. I help him to sit, but with the amount of alcohol he’s consumed, he can barely keep his body upright, his head lolling around close to his chest. I pull over a nearby chair and help him into it.

  “Faaarrrrkkk!” he cries out and wipes his open palm against his nose, spreading red everywhere.

  “It’s okay,” I mutter as I reach into my bag and grab some tissues. I try to go to my happy place as I mop up the blood from his face and neck and fold a few sheets beneath his nose to try and stem the bleeding. “You’re going to be fine.” Keep the patient calm. “A little help!” I yell out, trying to be heard above the music. I wait, but no one surfaces.

  “Gettin’ married,” Jayden slurs. His upper body jerks as he hiccups.

  “Who is?” I ask, trying to gauge his level of coherence.

  Hiccup—“S-Sash”—hiccup.

  This certainly explains the desire to scull the vodka.

  I place my hands on his shoulders. “I’m just going to run inside and see if I can get some stuff to clean you up. Squeeze the bridge of your nose and hold the tissues there until I get back, yeah?”

  He grunts. I run into the house through an empty hallway and head to the nearest bathroom.

  Music blares louder. “Can someone turn that down,” I cry out. I snatch up a box of tissues and a wet washcloth. When I get back to the garden, Jayden is on the ground.

  In a pool of vomit.

  Is he fair d
inkum?

  There’s your answer, Abbie. This night could and did get a whole lot worse.

  I lay him on his side and position his arms so he’s in the recovery position. As I use my finger to scoop out his mouth to clear his airway, I gag.

  Stay strong. He may have been a jerk to you, but he needs your help.

  “Jayden, just stay where you are. I’m going to get you some water.”

  I jog back to the house again and start searching the many rooms.

  A guy with shoulder-length hair is alone on the couch, staring into space, munching on something.

  “Hey, I need some help,” I bark at him. “Jayden’s sick.”

  He sits straighter and looks in my general direction but doesn’t seem to be able to focus on me.

  I step farther into the lounge room and am hit with the earthy smell of pot. Urgh.

  The guy leans forward and grabs something from on the floor. He flops back into the lounge and shoves his hand into a jumbo bag of Cheetos.

  I grumble and stride into a room with a big TV and an L-shaped lounge. There’s a couple on the couch, arms and legs entwined, tongues down each other’s throats. They look like they’re seconds from ripping their clothes off.

  “Um, excuse me,” I bark out. “Where’s Cody?”

  The couple ignore me. Their hands continue to explore one another.

  “Yeah, thanks,” I say, full of sarcasm.

  I find a bedroom, which I assume is Cody’s seeing as it’s his house, and take a pair of footy shorts and a T-shirt from a dresser.

  When I return to the garden, Jayden has vomited again. It’s everywhere. All over the grass, down his shirt, and somehow through his hair. I check his airways again and make sure he’s okay.

  He’s breathing. Thank God.

  I can’t let him die, choking on his own vomit. What a way to go.

  I find my bag, take out my phone, and ring Kate.

  It goes straight to voicemail. I have no idea where Cody is, and don’t have his number to call him.

  I place my hand on his brother’s shoulder and give him a pat. “Looks like it’s just you and me, Jayden.”

  ***