by Heidi Skarie
Michio leaned back in his chair. “You’re right; I need to remain open so if Toemeka contacts me, I’ll hear her.”
“She’ll reach out to you sooner or later. Cadmus may be able to get the upper hand for awhile, but she’s a lot tougher than you’ve ever given her credit for. In the seven years Toemeka and I were in the Coalition, she proved time and again that she’s intelligent, resourceful and independent. She’s trained to handle difficult situations. I don’t think Cadmus will be able to keep her. Sooner or later she’ll escape and, when she does, we’ll be waiting.”
“But the baby is only six-weeks-old and Toemeka hasn’t had time to fully recover. I promised to take care of her and Baymond and now this happened. I’ve failed her.”
“You can’t blame yourself,” Erling said. “There was no way of knowing Cadmus was alive and would come after her.”
“I should’ve suspected he was alive when she dreamt of him chasing her. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have left her and Baymond alone. We should’ve lived at the palace, instead of in the country where we were more vulnerable.”
“Toemeka wanted a home in the mountains, like she had as a child. You gave up your former life to make her happy. You did it out of love.” Erling put his hand on Michio’s arm and added. “I’m not going through what you are, but I do share your pain. I’ve known Toemeka for eight years and I care about her deeply. We were partners and have a strong bond.”
“I know how much you care about her. You walked away from your duties as prince of Jaipar and head of the planet’s military at a moment’s notice. Thank you for listening to my ravings. I feel better after talking to you. Let’s head home. I want to see my son and I’m sure you want to see Koriann.”
“Good idea.” Erling started the engines and they took off.
Once they were on their way, Michio unfastened his seatbelt. “I’m going to my cabin. Contact me when you want me to take over.”
Erling looked at Michio with concern. “I know you’re going through hell, but try and be easy on yourself. You didn’t fail Toemeka. Let go of your anger and focus on your love for her, so you can reach her inwardly. Trust that we’ll find her.”
“I’ll try.” Michio went to his cabin and sat down at his desk. Erling was right. His heart needed to be filled with love so Toemeka could reach him inwardly. His distress about her kidnapping wasn’t helping the situation.
He looked at his manuscript, knowing it had to be completed. It told of the personal experiences he went through in his search for God, both in this world and in the Inner Worlds. It described his adventures with the masters and the fears and weaknesses he’d overcome.
He found the book difficult to write because esoteric experiences were hard to put into words. At times the writing flowed. At other times he knew he hadn’t caught the essence of all that needed to be said and struggled to find the right words. The writing had been a saving grace over the last week. During the many long hours of travel, he could take his mind off his problems and put his attention on the Eternal Life Stream. He put his thoughts and experiences into words to make the way easier for other seekers of God. By sharing his life, he hoped to inspire others.
But today he couldn’t concentrate; his emotions were too turbulent. He cleared his mind, breathed deeply a few times then chanted his Soul Song. He made a declaration as he always did when he started to write. I’m a servant of God. Let Its love shine clearly through all that I write. He opened himself to Master Bakka, the spiritual leader of the Secret Teachings. Let my writing speak of higher truths for the good of the whole, he said inwardly.
He began writing. We become aware of our own spiritual strength by the caliber of our adversaries. As we become stronger, so do the challenges to help us reach purification.
“You’re having difficulty writing today,” a pleasant male voice said.
Michio recognized the voice belonged to one of his guides. He turned to see Master Jadock standing nearby in a translucent body that gradually materialized. He was a small man with yellow skin, almond-shaped eyes and a long, neatly trimmed beard. He wore a white robe trimmed in gold and a turban. The sound of waves crashing into the shoreline and the sweet aroma of roses surrounded him.
Michio highly respected Master Jadock after studying under him at the School of Eagles. While there, he’d learned about love and power while furthering his training as an Ahimsa warrior. “The pain in my heart is great,” Michio said.
“Why have you allowed it to be so great?”
“What do you mean? I didn’t choose to have my wife abducted.”
Master Jadock’s expression remained serene. “True, but you can choose how you react to the situation. You can rise above your pain and surrendered the situation to the Eternal Life Stream. What can you learn from this experience?”
Michio drew a calming breath and focused inwardly. The answer came readily. “Through pain, we learn compassion.”
“So it’s a blessing.”
“All life is a spiritual experience and everything that happens can be seen as a blessing,” Michio said reluctantly. He didn’t like the direction this was going. Toemeka’s abduction wasn’t a blessing.
“Good. Contemplate on those ideas.” Master Jadock began to fade.
“Wait! Can you help me find Toemeka?”
“It is not my place to interfere.”
“Can you at least tell me if she’s all right?”
“It depends on how you look at it. She’s getting the lessons she needs for her spiritual growth. They’re not easy lessons. It shouldn’t concern you.”
“Why shouldn’t it?”
“Her state of well-being is not yours. Your path lies clearly before you. If you and Toemeka go in different directions in this lifetime because of what Soul needs, it must be accepted.”
“Why would we go in different directions?”
Master Jadock looked at him with compassion. “If she can’t pass the tests and is pulled down, will you allow yourself to be pulled down, too?”
Michio’s chest tightened. “What tests? How can she be pulled down?”
“We’re talking about your spiritual growth, not hers.”
“How can she be pulled down?”
“You tell me,” said Jadock patiently.
The answer came to Michio at once. “By allowing fear to tear an opening in her aura, through which Cadmus can use negative psychic powers to attack her.”
“So, it’s a gift that Cadmus came into her life to help her reach purification.”
“What if the test is beyond her strength?” Michio asked.
“The student is never tested beyond his ability. A person is stretched and fine-tuned. At times it may seem to be too much, but that is an illusion. Nothing is lost, even if a mistake is made. One learns from mistakes, salvaging what one can and going on, perhaps learning in another lifetime, if not this one.”
“Toemeka shouldn’t have to face this test alone. She’s been there for me, outwardly and inwardly, time and time again.”
“You don’t want her to be dependent on you. Toemeka has to find the inner strength to block psychic attacks so she can contact you inwardly. Moreover, she is not alone. Master Bakka is always inwardly with all his students. You must think about your own responsibilities and service to God. If you can’t find her, what will you do?”
“Keep searching until I do.”
“Master Bakka plans to step aside and give the leadership position to you. You’re the chosen one and have agreed to serve when the time comes. Do you still agree to take his place someday? Will you be ready for it? Will another man accept it instead? Mastership requires certain physical as well as spiritual responsibilities that you will be required to fulfill. Will you be able to give up your search?”
Michio looked down. “I don’t know.”
“Will you let your attachment to Toemeka stand in the way of mastership?”
“I love her; that’s not attachment.”
“I’m not asking you to
stop loving her. What if she succumbs to the dark powers?”
“I will help her find the Light again.”
“Maybe she is meant for a different experience this lifetime. Will you serve all equally? I’m going into the God Worlds. Are you coming?” The Master disappeared.
Michio contemplated on Master Jadock’s words. Metaphorically, Master Jadock was going into the higher regions of the Inner Worlds. Michio had the choice to join him or be trapped in the lower worlds by his fears and emotions.
He looked back at what he had written: As we become stronger, so do the challenges to help us reach purification.
Michio picked up a pen and continued writing:
Yet the hardest obstacles to overcome are not from others, but from inside ourselves. These obstacles are the passions and attachments of our own minds. We cling to past happiness, not trusting that God, in Its infinite wisdom, has a greater happiness for us. We put our heart into the changing, impermanent lower worlds, instead of toward the greater glory of God.
Michio wondered if each sentence of this book would be wrenched painfully from his heart. He walked over to the window and looked at the bright stars and planets in the dark sky.
He knew he had to let go of his attachment to Toemeka, to accept whatever life gave him. He had to surrender his will to God. If he couldn’t surrender totally, he’d never obtain mastership. He’d always be trapped in the lower worlds, a victim of emotions, pushed this way and that by outer circumstances.
Life in this world had a beginning and an ending. People moved into one’s life and back out again. Even death was an illusion, merely a change in experience. Soul did not die and inner bonds of love would remain.
It was painful to be separated from Toemeka, especially when he knew she was in the hands of a dangerous sorcerer. Would it be better if he’d never known her? Never opened his heart to Toemeka? Was it his love or attachment to her that brought this pain?
No, it was better to love. He couldn’t go through life with a closed heart, in fear of pain. He’d never operate on the fear band. Life was to be lived to the fullest.
“I surrender my will to you, my lord God. I let go of my attachment to past happiness. I accept whatever life has to offer. I reaffirm my total commitment to God. I give my life in service to It,” Michio said softly.
He felt the pain and despair lift from him and a deep love for all life filled his innermost being. Spirit was leading him home to God. The painful experiences were secondary to the spiritual significance of what he was learning. With each experience, he became a little more a part of divine love.
A deep peace came into his innermost being. It was the start of his healing, but there was still a long way yet to go.
7
Double-Cross
Amaretta didn’t return to the room that night nor did she show up the next day. Toemeka wondered what happened to her; the young woman was usually with her constantly. A different slave delivered her meals and Toemeka ate only the fruit or raw vegetables, still not trusting that the food wasn’t drugged.
That evening Amaretta finally returned. She had an angry-looking bruise on her cheek and walked as if in pain.
“Amaretta, what happened? Did Cadmus give you that bruise?”
“No, he’s never beaten me.”
“Who then?”
“One of his men.”
“Why?”
She hung her head. “I didn’t please him.”
“Where do you spend the nights when you’re not with me?” Toemeka asked, realizing what Cadmus said about the slaves was true.
“It depends on if I can sleep in my own pallet or if someone wants me.”
“Some of the guards abuse you?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, Amaretta. It must be awful for you. You must stay here at night.”
“It’s not so bad. The men have needs. Some are cruel, like the man that beat me. But some are kinder. Sometimes for a moment, I can even pretend they care.”
“They?”
“He.”
“What’s his name?”
“Gideon. He’s one of Cadmus’ guards and lately he’s sort of staked a claim on me, so the other men leave me alone. I’m not pretty. They’re glad to satisfy their lust elsewhere. But Gideon wasn’t around last night. He wasn’t looking for me since I’ve been spending nights here.”
Toemeka wondered what kind of man Gideon was. If he was a decent man, perhaps he could buy Amaretta’s freedom. But he could be a heartless man, preying on a young woman’s need for protection and affection.
“Maybe, if I was beautiful like you, Gideon would fall in love with me.” She frowned, “But for the most part, I’m glad I’m plain, so I’m not ill-used more often.”
“Has Cadmus ever ill-used you?”
“I’m not the kind of woman he desires. He keeps his women for himself and doesn’t share them with his men. He rarely sleeps alone. It’s fortunate for you that he has other mistresses and is giving you time to heal. He is a passionate man.”
Toemeka’s stomach churned at the thought of living as Cadmus’ mistress. “Amaretta, I can’t stay here. I have to return to my husband and child. I refuse to be Cadmus’ woman. Worse, I fear Cadmus is trying to draw Michio here to kill him. Please help me. I can’t escape without help.”
Amaretta’s eyes widened with fear and she shook her head. “There’s no way to escape. The compound is heavily guarded and beyond it are dangerous criminals. It’s safer for you to stay here. Commander Rochambeau treats you well.”
“He’s abducted me from my home, fractured several of my ribs and is trying to turn me into a sorceress. That’s not treating me well. Please help me.”
“I would if I thought you had a chance of escaping, but you don’t.”
“Just help me get out of the compound and I’ll find a way to leave Devil’s Eye on my own.”
“I can’t. It’s too dangerous.”
The door opened and Cadmus entered. Toemeka worried he might’ve overheard some of their conversation. Amaretta scurried to the corner and squatted down.
Cadmus approached, carrying a small box in his hand. “Why are you still in bed? I thought you were getting stronger.”
“What is there to get out of bed for?” she asked.
“I’ve brought you something to cheer you up.”
“I don’t want anything from you!”
“You’re in a dark mood.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? You’ve kept me shut up in this room like a caged animal!”
“You’re not well enough to leave your room.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Open your gift.”
“You can’t win me with presents. Just leave me alone!”
He took the lid off the box and lifted out a jeweled china bird. “I had this made for you.”
“I don’t want it.” She turned away from him.
“I didn’t say you could turn away from me!”
She glared at him. “If I don’t want to look at your ugly face, I won’t!”
He grabbed her wrist and put the bird in her hand. “Look at it!”
“No!” Toemeka threw it on the floor and it smashed into pieces. She stared at it in horror, realizing she’d gone too far.
“No one gets away with destroying my gifts,” he said in a deadly tone of voice. He unfastened his belt and pulled it out of the belt loops.
Toemeka’s eyes were riveted on the belt as it dawned on her that he was planning to whip her with it. Her stomach twisted into a knot.
“It’s time you learned your place.” Cadmus grabbed the back of her nightgown and ripped it open.
Sitting with her back erect, she clutched the front of it to cover her breasts. “Go ahead, beat me — you’re a monster!”
He raised the belt into the air. He seemed hesitant and she wondered if he was reluctant to actually hit her, but she refused to beg for mercy. The belt came swinging down and slammed into her upper back and bare shoulders. The leather
stung against her tender skin and intensified the pain in her fractured ribs. She bit her lip, willing herself not to beg for mercy. The belt lashed her a second time. When it hit a third time, she cried out in pain.
Amaretta grabbed Cadmus’ arm. “She’s too weak to be beaten. Let me take her place. She didn’t mean to break your gift. She’s distraught and misses her baby.”
“That doesn’t excuse her behavior. However, I don’t wish to damage my latest possession. Perhaps she is too weak to be beaten. Apologize to me, Toemeka. I’ll forgive you this once if you change your ways and in the future show appreciation for my gifts.”
Toemeka trembled, feeling numb. None of what was happening seemed real. She faced him, hatred raging through her.
“I’m sorry I lost my temper and broke the bird.” She narrowed her eyes. “But I’m not sorry I refused your gift. I don’t want anything from you.”
Cadmus’ eyes widened, amazed at her bold reply. “Remove her nightgown, Amaretta, so I can whip her properly.”
With a shaky hand, Amaretta tugged at the shoulder of Toemeka’s nightgown. “Let go so I can remove it.”
Toemeka shook her head, mortified, clutching the nightgown tighter over her breasts. Her back screamed in pain, her broken ribs throbbed and her head ached. She tried to keep sitting, but didn’t have the strength and crumpled onto the bed. She buried her face in the pillow, feeling humiliated by her weakness.
“Leave us,” Cadmus said to Amaretta.
Amaretta gave Toemeka an agonized glance, then hurried from the room.
Toemeka flinched as she felt Cadmus pull her ripped nightgown away from her side.
“I’m just looking at your side,” he said. “You have a wicked-looking bruise where your ribs were broken.” He readjusted the back of her nightgown and covered her with blankets.
She turned her head sidewise on the pillow and looked at him warily, wondering if he’d changed his mind about beating her.
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson not to defy me. Since I don’t wish to permanently scar your lush skin, I’ll withhold any more lashes for now. You don’t look well. You’d better take a pain pill.” He seemed genuinely concerned about her as he handed her a pill. “If you hadn’t collapsed, I might’ve beaten you to death. I’m not used to being opposed. Why don’t you cower before me, like your slave?”