Witches Just Want to Have Fun

by Amanda M. Lee

  “What’s going on is that I’m going to shoot you and save myself,” Madame Selena replied, oblivious to the power I was releasing in her direction. It seeped out of me rather than sped, but it was building quickly. “I’m the boss. Me!”

  “Not that, you ninny.” Barbie’s eyes filled with panic. “I can’t move. I’m frozen like a statue. I can’t even … no, it doesn’t work. I can’t move.”

  “You’re still flapping your lips,” Madame Selena pointed out.

  “Yes, well, I can’t move my body.” Barbie looked as if she was about to cry, which was impressive because I’d never seen her face move a single muscle. “Can you move?”

  Madame Selena finally realized she was in the same boat and she turned screechy. “No. I’m frozen, too! I … what is happening? Are the aliens coming? Am I about to die?”

  “No, but you are about to go to jail.” Booker calmly got to his feet and plucked the gun from Barbie’s hand. She didn’t react, instead remaining rooted to her spot. “This is kind of fun.” He poked his finger into her cheek. “It’s like having a real-life Barbie doll. Quick, someone see if she’s anatomically correct.”

  I scalded him with a dark look. “Don’t you dare!” I reached forward and grabbed the gun from Madame Selena’s hand, just to be on the safe side, and rubbed my forehead. I was weary after expending so much energy. For some reason, once I pooled the power, it was easy to form. I wasn’t sure why, but I knew I would give it endless thought later. “Someone should get some rope. I’m not sure how long this will last.”

  “I’m on it.” Lilac, eager to help, hopped to her feet. “This was a really great showing, by the way. I can’t tell you how impressed I am.”

  “Me, too.” Wesley moved to follow Lilac. “I know where May kept the rope. We’ll be right back.”

  “Hurry.” I couldn’t stop rubbing my forehead. I worried I would pass out. “Hey, Booker?”

  “Hmm.” He was fascinated with the frozen women, so much so that he didn’t even look in my direction despite my raspy voice.

  “If I pass out, make sure you don’t tell anyone. I want to maintain my street cred.”

  “What?” He finally dragged his eyes to me and frowned. “You look pale.”

  “I feel pale.”

  “Well … stop it.” He was clearly agitated. “You’re not allowed to pass out. You just saved the day.”

  “I know, but I expended too much energy. I think I might actually throw up and then pass out.”

  “I could show you how to fix that,” Madame Selena offered, desperate. “Trust me. I’m an expert at magic.”

  “Shut up.” Booker flicked her ear as he passed, kneeling in front of me. “Do not pass out. I’ll make fun of you forever if you do.”

  “Galen.” I barely managed to get his name out before I listed to the side. My head felt too big for my body and my torso too heavy to support. “Call Galen and get him back here. I … crap. I’m going to pass out.”

  Booker seemed resigned to it happening too. “It’s fine. I’ll take care of all this … including getting the credit.” He patted the top of my head. “Nighty-night.”

  I wanted to smack him, but it was too late. The darkness was already upon me. “I won’t forget this.”

  “I don’t think any of us will.”

  Then I was gone.

  29

  Twenty-Nine

  I woke up to find Madame Selena and Barbie hogtied on the floor. No, really. They were face down, their hands and feet bound together behind them. They didn’t look happy.

  As for me, I was on the couch with a pillow under my head. Wesley, Lilac and Booker stood a few feet away, heads bent together.

  “What happened?” I croaked, swiping at my face as I tried to regain the strength that had fled so quickly after the magical display I didn’t even know I was capable of performing.

  Wesley snapped his head in my direction, relief obvious. “See! I told you she’d be okay. She simply overexerted herself. She’s fine.”

  “I don’t think Galen will feel that way when he sees how pale she is,” Booker argued. “In fact … yup, here he comes now.”

  As if on cue, the door swung open to allow Galen entrance. He looked annoyed more than anything. Then he got a look at what was going on in the living room. “What the … ?”

  Booker filled him in quickly. He didn’t meander and cut directly to the heart of matters. When he was finished, Galen was staggered. Instead of moving to the vociferously complaining women – Barbie was busy trying to blame Madame Selena for putting a spell on her that made her act out of sorts – he headed straight for me.

  “Hey.” He sat on the coffee table and leaned close, his hand gentle as it brushed my hair from my face. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

  There was no way that was going to happen. “No. I’m just … a little tired. I’m fine.”

  Galen didn’t look convinced. “You’re so pale I can practically see through you.”

  Speaking of that, I had other things to focus on. “We need to find a way for Madame Selena to break her spell. We can’t let her leave this house until she does. I don’t want to risk May not being able to come for a visit. I’ll need a mentor and I’m running out of options.”

  Galen heaved a sigh. “Fine. You don’t have to go to the hospital. I’m going to be watching you closely, though, so get used to it.”

  I tried to hide my smile, but it was a losing effort. “I’ve been getting used to that since we met.”

  Galen grinned. “Cute.” He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “You stay here while we handle the rest of this. Lilac, get her some water. As for these two … I think we’re going to have a long afternoon of answering questions. I’m still not sure what happened here, but I’m guessing it’s a doozy of a story.”

  “Don’t let Madame Selena leave without lifting the spell,” I repeated. “I saved the day. I was the hero. That’s all I want in return.”

  “Oh, geez!” Galen made a face. “I can already tell this hero stuff is going to go to your head.”

  He wasn’t wrong. “By the way, you’re definitely the sidekick. I’m the main character in our little partnership.”

  Galen barked out a laugh. “I guess you are. No, you stay right there. You are officially on lockdown for the next twelve hours at least. If you try to break from that, I’ll take control and make sure my sidekick spends the night in the hospital. I’m not kidding. Not even a little.”

  I wasn’t quite ready to let it go. “You’re my sidekick. I’m going to get a button made up for you and everything.”

  “I’m looking forward to you trying.”

  EVEN THOUGH HE WASN’T keen on the idea, Galen finally relented, and allowed Lilac and Wesley to stay with me while he and Booker transported our captives to the police station. Their truce was all but eradicated as they left, both of them firing verbal jabs at one another as they herded the cursing and swearing women out of the house. Madame Selena agreed to lift the spell keeping May from the house, but I had a feeling it was only so she’d appear cooperative when it came time to cut deals.

  Five minutes after the spell was lifted May was back, and she and Wesley set about hovering like … well, doting grandparents. It was kind of nice, but mostly annoying. Then they started sniping at one another, a couple with a lot of history settling into a routine. They were so loud Lilac was keen to escape. I walked her out without anyone noticing, waved as she hit the driveway, and then made my way to the loungers on the back patio.

  It was interesting, I noted, as I stretched out and listened. May and Wesley kibitzed and insulted one another, but there was an underlying shimmer of love and passion that made me smile. I was glad Wesley was seemingly over his aversion to the lighthouse. I was also glad May could make regular visits. Hopefully that meant she would answer questions when I was up to asking them again.

  My strength returned relatively quickly, but I remained weary. I drank a bottle of water as I
watched the sun set and then fought sleep as I waited for Galen to return. By the time he found me on the back patio, takeout clutched in a bag against his chest, he looked as tired as I felt.

  “I thought I told you to stay on the couch.” His tone was accusatory as he placed the bag on the table and sank into the same chair as me. He used his hip to nudge me over, slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me close so he could hug me. He clearly wanted to sound bossy, but didn’t have the energy to pull it off. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

  “I am resting.” That was mostly true. “It was too loud in the house to catch a catnap.”

  Galen tilted his head as he listened to Wesley and May fight. “Ah, it’s just like old times.”

  “Were they like that in life?”

  Galen snickered. “Worse. They used to throw things at one another. Occasionally I’d get a call because half the contents of the lighthouse were on the front lawn and the neighbors were worried someone might get hurt.”

  “Did anyone ever get hurt?”

  “No. It was mostly for form’s sake.” Galen smoothed my hair. “They loved each other too much to take things that far.”

  I heard something that sounded suspiciously like a dish breaking from inside. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.” Galen tightened his arms around me. “So … how much do you want to hear?”

  “Just a brief rundown.”

  “Barbie is still claiming that Selena cast a spell on her and made her commit murder. Selena says that she’s not powerful enough to do that, which means all the stories she told over the years were lies and she looks like a real idiot. The prosecutor already has a headache, but he’s going to charge them both.”

  That was encouraging. “What about Ashley?”

  “She’s being released. In fact, she’s probably already out. I stopped by her cell long enough to tell her what was going on. We were just waiting for the final paperwork, which I left for Roscoe to handle because I didn’t want to be away from you.”

  “Because you were worried?”

  “Because you’re still pale and it’s the sidekick’s job to take care of the hero.”

  Okay, that was ridiculously cute. “Good point.”

  “I thought so.” Galen rubbed idle circles against my back. “Ashley was upset when she heard everything, although I think she was mostly upset to find out Trish was her sister after the fact. She didn’t take it well.”

  “Can you blame her?”

  “No. I’d be upset, too. She didn’t seem all that surprised that her mother was willing to let her go to jail for something she did. There’s no love lost there. Henry showed up and admitted he knew that Ashley was Gus’s daughter but said he loved her no matter what. They spent some time together while waiting. I think they’ll get through this.”

  “I don’t see where they have a lot of options,” I pointed out. “Gus is dead. Ashley can’t get to know him. Trish is dead. There’s nothing there. The feud is essentially over. All Ashley and Henry will have is each other.”

  “And neither of them will stand by Barbie,” Galen supplied. “Henry is already talking about having a freeze put on her accounts so she can’t use the money he gave her to fund her defense.”

  “Do you think he’ll be able to pull that off?”

  Galen shrugged. “I have no idea. I … .” He broke off when Wesley stuck his head out of the door. “Hey. Thanks for staying. I didn’t know how long you’d planned to hang around so I didn’t bring enough dinner for all three of us. I should’ve thought ahead.”

  Wesley didn’t seem bothered. “I can handle my own food. I was just checking on Hadley. I didn’t know you were back.”

  “I’m fine,” I offered. “I’m feeling fairly decent. I’m sure once I stuff my face with whatever is in that bag I’ll feel ten times better.”

  “I can stay,” Wesley offered. “I can sleep on the couch and make sure you’re okay.”

  Galen cleared his throat. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll be staying the night.”

  Wesley eyed him for a long beat. “I guess that’s probably the right way to go,” he said finally, nodding. “But she needs her rest. She doesn’t need you to get her all worked up.”

  Galen’s grin was back. “I’m so charismatic I work up the ladies without even trying. I can’t help myself.”

  “Oh, whatever.” Wesley rolled his eyes and looked over his shoulder when May floated out to join him. “Apparently Galen is staying the night, so I don’t think it’s wise for me to stick too close.”

  May bobbed her head. “I agree. Three is not company when one of the participants is a grandfather.” May giggled at her own joke. “Besides, now that the spell is lifted and I’m feeling stronger, I’ll be able to pop in for a visit whenever I want. I can watch her.”

  Hmm. That was something I hadn’t considered. “Yeah, speaking of that, maybe we should come up with some rules.” I scratched my chin as May adopted an innocent expression.

  “What rules could we possibly need?” May asked. “I’ve lived here for decades. I know how things go.”

  “I think she means because I’ll be spending the night,” Galen offered. “We should come up with rules like … I don’t know … you’re not allowed in the bedroom.”

  “Or upstairs bathroom,” I added, something occurring to me. “Shower time should be private.”

  “Definitely,” Galen agreed, smirking. “Maybe we can devise a way for you to knock before popping up. I think that would be good for both of our nerves.”

  “You don’t live here,” May pointed out. “You two haven’t even done the horizontal mattress tango yet, unless I missed that when Selena was doing her evil, rotten thing. Did I miss it?”

  Galen, always cool under pressure, refused to make eye contact. “I think it’s time for Hadley to have her dinner. She needs some fuel. Then we’re turning in early.”

  “Because she needs her rest,” Wesley said pointedly.

  “She definitely needs her rest,” Galen agreed. “As for the other thing we were discussing, May, we’ll sit down and talk about rules tomorrow.”

  “That sounds like pure torture,” May complained. “I hate rules.”

  She wasn’t the only one. “I really am starving.”

  Galen helped me sit up. “Me, too. How about we have dinner and take a short walk by the water? By that time, everyone should be gone from the lighthouse for the night.”

  “I just got back,” May protested. “I don’t want to leave again.”

  “Maybe you should try visiting the ranch,” Wesley suggested. “You need to see if you can go other places, and these two are obviously fussy about their privacy.” He jerked a thumb in our direction. “It might be the best thing for all of us if you can hop around.”

  “I totally agree with that.” I was enthusiastic about the prospect. “You should practice now.”

  “Definitely practice,” Galen agreed. “Do it inside, though. We want some time alone.”

  “Oh, boy.” May made a clucking sound and shook her head. “This arrangement is going to be trouble. I can already feel it.”

  I could, too. Unfortunately for her, I was too tired to deal with it tonight.

  “It will be fine.” I knew that was a lie, but I didn’t care. “Everything will work out as it’s supposed to.”

  “That’s cute,” Wesley drawled. “I was sad I didn’t get to spend time with her when she was a little kid, but she’s still naïve enough that it doesn’t matter. It’s nice.”

  “It is,” May agreed, shooing him toward the door. “I’m not naïve enough to know they’re going to be smooching each other to high heaven when they’re done out here. I don’t want to see it.”

  “You and me both,” Wesley grumbled. “I think she’s too young for this.”

  May winked. “I think she’s just right.”

  “I think so, too,” Galen said as they disappeared inside. “If you notice, I was right. You figured all of thi
s out on your own, just like I knew you would.”

  “Not all of it,” I clarified. “It’s just a start.”

  “It’s a great start.” Galen handed me a takeout container. “In fact, it’s the best start ever. I think you’ll be a legend amongst witches after this story goes public.”

  I couldn’t help but agree … although not about the “legend” part. The part about it being the best start ever was spot on, though. “Let’s eat and take that walk. I’m feeling better.”

  “Good. But no more adventures until you’re fully recovered. I can’t take it.”

  “That sounds like a plan.”

  Unfortunately for him, adventure seemed to continuously find me since I landed on Moonstone Bay. I wasn’t eager for things to change just yet.

  He didn’t need to know that. He deserved one night of peace – and so did I.

  Freaky Deaky Tiki

  A Moonstone Bay Cozy Mystery Book Three

  1

  One

  “You’re doing it wrong.”

  “Excuse me? I’m not doing it wrong. You’re doing it wrong.”

  “I most certainly am not doing it wrong. You only think that because you’re a man.”

  “Yes, my gender has taken over the world and the end is truly near. You get the ark, I’ll get the animals.”

  Outside of the lighthouse I live in, I managed to stifle my laughter ... just barely. The day was hot, the sun beating down on my bare shoulders thanks to the fashionable tube top I picked up at a Moonstone Bay shop the previous day, and the noise coming from the building I, Hadley Hunter, now called home was deafening.

  “Do you think they’ll ever stop?”

  Galen Blackwood, my boyfriend (we’d never technically defined our relationship, so that term might be something of a stretch), merely smirked as he glanced up from the spark plug he was cleaning and tilted his head while listening to the argument inside. “You were the one who couldn’t understand why May and Wesley divorced,” he said finally, referring to the grandparents I’d never known until a few weeks ago. “This is exactly why they got divorced and cut their visits down to once a week ... twice if it was hot and they were cranky.”