To Romance a Scoundrel

by Rosie Wynter

  Claire felt ill as she studied the reactions on the faces of her sister, her aunt, and her brother-in-law. She did not get to see how the earl took the declaration. The moment Mr Hawkins’ words were out, the earl turned on his heel and marched back into the assembly room.

  “Sister…” Grace’s voice, alone amongst the others, was quiet and sombre. Somehow, this only made her seem more terrifying in that instant. “Sister, is this true? Are you engaged to Mr Hawkins?”

  For the second time, Claire found words failing her. It was only as Grace asked the question, that Claire realised she had not, in fact, given an answer to the poet. They had shared an unexpected kiss, which perhaps constituted a non-verbal consent, but she had not truly given herself to him.

  Claire’s eyes moved to Mr Hawkins, and she could see a look of expectation on his face, as the company awaited her answer. She opened her mouth, willing some definite statement to pass from her lips. But she was incapable of saying anything. Words died before they even reached her tongue, and she was only able to stand there pathetically, her mouth opening and closing like a dying fish, as the others watched her.

  “The girl is clearly in shock,” Lady Helen insisted as she turned to Mr Hawkins. “I can spare her the trouble of having to give an answer, though, by telling you that you are absolutely forbidden from marrying this girl. If you wish your poetry and words to ever reach the eyes and ears of the great and the good of London, you will withdraw from this foolish endeavour, at once! You will remember that you are merely the son of a blacksmith and were destitute when I found you. You should consider yourself privileged even to walk in the same sphere as Miss Curtis and her family. You will remember your place and come away. If you do not, you can consider my sponsorship of your work ended.”

  “More than this, if you do not abide, I will see to it that every bookmaker and publisher in the land hears of this impropriety.” The Duchess of Lynch moved to stand by her friend, the two forming impressive and formidable opponents. Both had powerful influence in London, and Claire knew their words were no idle threats. If they were incensed, they could cause a great deal of harm to Ruben’s reputation. They could ruin him to the point where no one would deign even to glance over a poem bearing his name.

  “Please… Mr Hawkins. I think you should go with Lady Helen.” Claire’s words came at last, meek but audible. “We cannot continue this disagreeable scene out in the streets. I am sure if we were to explain indoors….”

  “Yes, there will be a lot of explaining to come in the time ahead,” Grace warned, her face livid. “Still, Claire is right. We must withdraw before this scene is noticed by too many. I do not wish to risk this affair being overheard by anybody but us.”

  “Ruben, you will come with me now.” Lady Helen clicked her fingers and pointed towards the carriage. She then turned to Claire’s brother-in-law. “Duke, I cannot apologise enough for this whole unpleasant affair. I will look to take lodgings in the town’s inn this night. Goodness knows you do not want us up at Holdenwood Manor. I will keep Mr Hawkins under my watchful eye and send a man to pick up our things in the morning.”

  “A sensible course,” Cromford said. He turned to Mr Hawkins, eyes narrowing. “Well, you heard your patron. I would advise you to do as you’re told, and then maybe things will not go as badly for you as you deserve.”

  Claire watched as Mr Hawkins began to move. His usually gregarious and convivial personality was now blunted and broken. He marched with head cowed over to Lady Helen’s side. Claire watched as the old dowager’s driver came up and actually took hold of Mr Hawkins’ arm, as though he were a common criminal.

  It made Claire want to say something on the man’s behalf, but she had no idea what words she could offer that might make the situation easier on either of them.

  Chapter 11

  The mood at Holdenwood Manor changed immediately. The air became oppressive, and the usual laughter and joy that surrounded the property became as drear and grey as the very walls of the building. Everyone felt it, even the servants. Everyone appeared to be walking on eggshells, and this feeling manifested itself in even the most benign and everyday activities. When delivering tea, the servants would walk with quiet footsteps and retreat as though in some kind of hurry to get away to another room. Meanwhile, the residents of the house found their own ways to show their unease and displeasure at the current state of affairs.

  Grace kept to her room. In the days following the incident, she claimed to be overcome by fatigue and wished to spend most of her day in bed. This caused no small amount of worry to the duke, who suggested several times that a physician should be called to the house to ensure his wife was not in the throes of any kind of malaise or illness.

  Catherine was Grace’s constant companion over those days, cleaving to Grace’s side in loyalty. The only time the redhead was seen, was if she had some message to convey to Cromford or wanted to see to an errand personally.

  Aunt Lynch pottered around the house but spent most of her time engaged in solitary activities, now that her friend, Lady Helen Barrett, had left. When she did talk, she spoke of a return to London, or a visit to friends elsewhere in the country. Although she never said it openly, it was obvious that Aunt Lynch felt Claire needed to be taken away from the house and moved somewhere out of the way where she could think about her actions in privacy.

  Finally, there was Lord Dalton. His sentiments regarding the whole debacle at the assembly were made obvious, even though he never said a word about it. He had kept to himself the day after the incident, choosing to continue his work on the West Wing. However, the very next day he approached his good friend Cromford and announced that he could no longer stay on at Holdenwood Manor and would have to pass on his designs and plans for the expansion to the property, to another builder. Under different circumstances, Cromford might have looked to prevail on his friend to change his course. As it was, Cromford accepted Dalton’s resignation of the project without a single word of protest. For two more days, the earl remained on the property, spending his time with a group of men he had hired to complete the work on the hall. The business of organising the builders and checking that they understood the plans he had laid out was time-consuming and meant that the earl missed mealtimes on both of his last days at the property.

  On the day of the earl’s departure, a servant had informed Claire when the hour of his leaving drew near. Claire guessed the servant was giving her an opportunity to go down and say her farewells as the man left.

  In the end, Claire had stayed in her room. She knew full well that the earl’s leaving had everything to do with her and the incident with Mr Hawkins. Given that the earl was making an effort to leave Holdenwood Manor in order to escape her, it felt callous to go down and witness his departure. If the earl wanted to avoid her, Claire would respect his decision and stay out of his sight. Though this was her decision, it gave her no joy. Despite what others may have thought, Claire did not wish to see the earl hurt on account of her actions, nor did she wish their acquaintance to be drawn to such an abrupt halt. If it were within her power, she would have done anything to rectify the situation. Things being as they were, however, she knew there was little she could do. At the end of the day, there was no excusing the hurt she had caused the earl, and she did not begrudge him his choice to leave.

  With everyone at Holdenwood Manor seeming to ignore and shun her, Claire had plenty of time to think on all that had happened on that fateful and lamentable night.

  In particular, she wished to sort out her feelings for Mr Hawkins. Perhaps the biggest tragedy of the ill-fated night at the assembly, was not the trouble she and the poet had made for themselves, but the fact that Claire had not been given time to give an answer to Mr Hawkins’ question. She had allowed him to kiss her, even reciprocated in that forbidden act, but she had not gone as far as to say ‘yes’ to the man. Now, she found herself in a curious state of unease and uncertainty regarding this uncompleted matter. Of all things, she wished
she had been granted the time to give a definite answer to the man. If not for his benefit, it would have done her good to know how her own heart and mind felt about the prospect of the union with him.

  Pondering the matter alone, Claire came to the decision that she would surely have accepted the poet’s proposal. She knew Mr Hawkins to be a good man, and she knew that they had much in common with one another. She loved his work and writing, and was happy to assume that a love of his work equated to the same thing as love for the man. More than this, she did not like the idea that her heart and mind could be so greatly swayed by her relatives and friends. She came to the conclusion that her doubts and uncertainties regarding Mr Hawkins were caused only by her sister’s influence.

  Not wishing to believe herself easily manipulated, Claire began to associate a union with Mr Hawkins as more than a matter of the heart. Her decision to love and be in love with the man, represented her own sense of independence and individualism. She did not like to think of herself as being influenced by her relatives, or easily swayed by their own opinions and prejudices. In this way, over her remaining drab and dreary weeks at Holdenwood Manor, Claire came to the definite decision that she was indeed in love with Mr Hawkins and would have accepted his proposal, had her family not intervened so suddenly at the end.

  Of course, Claire’s decision and revelation meant nothing in the current climate in which she found herself. With Mr Hawkins banished, along with Lady Helen, Claire knew there was little chance of her seeing him again at any time in the near future. She could not even write him letters. The staff at Holdenwood Manor would likely inform their master if she tried to send Mr Hawkins any communication. On top of which, it was likely that Lady Helen herself would keep a close eye on her poet in the future. As Mr Hawkins lived under her roof, it was likely that all missives addressed to him would pass through her hands first. For a while, at least, Claire felt certain that the old woman would make sure that no correspondence could pass between Claire and the poet.

  And so, Claire had to content herself with a waiting game. Mr Hawkins’ proposal to her had been genuine and moving. His desire for her was obvious in the way he had been unable to resist kissing her during that moment. Claire felt confident that the poet would be waiting for his opportunity to come to her again and renew his sentiments and feelings. In time, Claire was sure such a thing could be managed. Lady Helen could not keep a close eye on the man forever, and Grace, together with Aunt Lynch, would likewise be unable to prevent Claire from seeing the man forever. With a little patience, Claire felt certain things would work out between her and Mr Hawkins. The treasured proposal that had been sullied and dirtied by her family’s intervention, would surely be renewed in the future. Conceivably, it could be as soon as winter. For when the seasons changed, the great and the good of the country would return to London en masse, to enjoy the new season of parliament.

  When that time came, Claire felt certain she would meet her poet again, and they would be able to finish what had started between them.

  Once Claire’s mind was settled on how she should go forward in her relationship with Mr Hawkins, only one issue remained to trouble her heart: the business of Lord Dalton. It confused her in equal measure to find that her heart still ached with worry and concern for that man. She remembered the look that had passed over his features when he had seen her held in Mr Hawkins’ arms. His countenance at that moment had terrified her and left her feeling ashamed. His withering gaze had done more to affect her than any of the words, rebukes, and lectures she had received from Grace and her aunt in the last few weeks.

  She could not help but wonder what it was about the man that put her so ill at ease. She had already decided that her heart would have accepted Mr Hawkins, so why was she still concerned about the earl and his opinions on the matter? Mr Hawkins was surely the better prospect for her! Though there were some similarities between herself and the noble architect, she fervently believed that she had far more in common with the young and vibrant artist who had come into her life.

  Mr Hawkins was exactly everything Claire had dreamt of marrying since she was a young girl: exuberant, adventurous, free-spirited and willing to break the rules that society laid down. Considering that the poet was everything she had ever wanted for herself, why then did her heart still trouble itself over the man her sister had tried to guide her toward? Claire could not find the answer to this, and she found herself growing angry any time her mind flickered towards thoughts of the earl.

  Claire sat in the drawing room, a book of poetry clutched to her chest. She was not reading the book – she knew its pages well enough, and could recite some of the pages within, almost by heart. She just wanted a book to hold for the comfort and peace of mind it brought her. She told herself that doing such a thing brought her closer to Mr Hawkins, but the reality was she had always been like this. Whenever she was sad or felt alone, she would cling to a book as though it were a close and trusted friend. Her books never judged her, never told her how to think or feel. They were just there, offering the same sure and certain words that she relied on.

  It had been some time since Claire had bothered to hide away in the corners of the house. In the first days after the unpleasantness at the town assembly, she had gone out of her way to hide in quiet corners and abandoned rooms of the property. She quickly realised that others in the house were taking equal pains to avoid her, and the usually well-inhabited rooms were suddenly left empty and free for her to use at her leisure.

  It surprised her then when the door opened, and the dowager duchess stepped inside. Claire looked in her aunt’s direction and could tell at once that there was something on the woman’s mind. She moved with a certain purpose, and her eyes were fixed on Claire from the moment she entered the room. Her hands were held behind her back, giving her aunt an imperious and authoritative air. It was not often that Claire saw her this way. Her aunt liked to adopt a more casual and friendlier demeanour where she could, but she had been increasingly apt to take on this more severe form in recent days.

  “There you are, my dear,” the older woman said, as she walked over to the set of chairs and sat down. Aunt Lynch placed herself precariously on the edge of the chair and leant forward as she looked over to her niece.

  “I have been thinking that it is high time that we quit Holdenwood Manor and returned home to London.”

  Claire felt her grip on the book she was holding tighten a little. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words were immediately forthcoming. She quickly realised that she did not know what to think of her aunt’s suggestion.

  “Leave Holdenwood Manor? Why now? It is only two months until Grace is expected to go into confinement, and we are still several months away from the new London season. I would have thought you would wish to remain here for your great-niece or nephew.”

  “Indeed, that was my hope when first we came here. But the more I think about our situation, and all that has occurred in the last month, the more I feel our presence in the house has become a burden on your sister and her husband. Considering the delicate state that Grace is in, I do not feel it is right of us to impose on her hospitality any further. She has enough troubles and concerns to keep her occupied, without having to attend to our needs.”

  “By our needs, you, of course, mean my errors,” Claire corrected her aunt. A certain barbed quality entered into her voice. Part of her realised that she should perhaps appreciate her aunt’s attempt to spare her feelings, but the part of her that had decided she had been denied her opportunity for happiness with Mr Hawkins whispered that this was another attempt to decide her life for her.

  “Call it what you will, I am in no real mood to argue with you. If you wish to play the martyr still, that is your own business. Either way, I believe our presence in Holdenwood Manor is now more of a burden than a blessing to your sister, and I seek, therefore, to relieve her of that load.”

  Claire sucked in a breath, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the book of
poetry a little tighter. She could feel herself wanting to object. Despite all that had happened over the recent weeks, Grace was still her dear, beloved sister, and Claire truly wanted to be present for the birth of her niece or nephew. She was not about to attempt to change her aunt’s mind, however. The Duchess of Lynch was notoriously difficult to manage when her heart was set on a purpose and direction. More than this, Claire begrudgingly accepted that her aunt may well have been right in her decision.

  Though it pained her to admit it, Claire knew that Grace had not been the same since the incident at the assembly. She was spending far too much time locked away in her room, far too much time hidden away in solitude. Claire did not wish to spoil what should have been a joyous time for her sister. Her leaving Holdenwood Manor would not solve all of their troubles, nor erase the wounds she had caused to her family. However, it was possible that distancing herself from her sister would at least allow Grace to concentrate a little more on the joyous event to come.

  “When do you intend to leave? If you wish, I can have my bags packed by evening.”

  Her aunt’s brow knotted. “I had not intended to quit the estate in quite such a hurry. I was thinking of broaching the subject with Cromford after dinner tonight, and maybe setting our time of leaving for the end of next week?”

  “I do not see such a need to delay,” Claire answered in a dull and spiritless voice. “As I see it, if our leaving is to bring my sister a little extra comfort and peace, we should doubtless look to be expedient. I’m quite sure Grace, Cromford, and Catherine will be glad to have their home to themselves once again, and we can take comfort knowing that our absence will be welcomed by them.”

  Chapter 12

  Claire was almost dismayed when Grace came down from her room to say goodbye. She had assumed her sister would stay in her room as she had been wont to do for the past few days. She thought she might send Catherine down with a message of farewell, but Claire hadn’t expected her to come out of her cosy lair to see her off. To her mind, the recent spat between them was enough to shake the ties of sisterhood, and she was certain Grace was happy, perhaps even eager, to see her leave.