The Love Left Behind

by Daniel De Lorne

  ‘Do you have a habit of injuring yourself for guys you’re crushing on?’

  ‘I wouldn’t call it a habit.’ Even if he had almost electrocuted himself in Nick’s apartment that morning. ‘What about you? Stupid things, I mean, not about life-threatening habits.’ Apart from flying planes for a living. He drowned the thought with gin and tonic.

  Nick smiled. While Lyall had the dimples, Nick’s lips bowed into an easy sincerity that made Lyall hunger for them.

  ‘I fell off the edge of a footpath in Paris while trying to get a photo of the Eiffel Tower and hit the ground. People came to help me, but I wasn’t quite quick enough to realise they weren’t doing it out of the goodness of their hearts.’

  ‘You got mugged?’

  ‘Big time. Credit cards, cash, passport. The only thing they didn’t take was my camera, which I was holding onto like grim death.’

  ‘That must have been frightening. How old were you?’

  ‘Nearly twenty.’ He took a drink and crunched a few cubes of ice with his teeth. ‘I freaked out for a bit until this German guy took pity on me and helped me report it to the police. There wasn’t anything they could do, but I needed the police report for the insurance. Thank god he helped me because I didn’t speak a word of French.’

  Lyall’s gut pulled towards Nick. He shifted in his seat, jeans too tight. Nick rattled all this off as if it was something that happened every day. Talking about Paris and getting mugged in the same breath like it was the same as crossing the street. A whole world that Nick had explored while Lyall had stayed grounded.

  ‘And your passport?’

  ‘A trip to the embassy and I was given a new one the next day. Luckily, I didn’t have to leave before then, and it also meant I got to spend time with my new German friend.’ That pure smile turned to wickedness.

  Lyall laughed to stop jealousy twisting his lips. ‘Are you sure he didn’t plan the whole thing just to get the chance to meet you?’

  Nick’s thumb traced the rim of the glass. Twice. Lyall felt it down the front of his neck. Swallowing dampened the sensation.

  ‘Oh, I did think that for a second but then I was too busy having fun. We were both a bit sad to say goodbye a few days later.’

  ‘Do you do that often?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Break hearts around the globe.’ And was his going to be another? Did he keep a tally?

  ‘I try not to break anything.’ Nick put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm. He’d come that little bit closer, and the bar became that little bit smaller.

  ‘I bet you have a different guy in every city.’ Lyall finished his drink and put his glass down within reach of Nick’s. His hand only centimetres away but crossing that space would feel like crossing an ocean.

  ‘God no. For better or worse, Perth is home and if I’m going to fall in love, I want it to be where I can see the guy more than once a month and not have to get on a plane to see him.’

  No danger there. ‘Doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun along the way.’

  ‘I’ve had plenty.’

  ‘Wouldn’t you like a little more?’ Lyall uncurled his fingers from around his glass and brushed them across Nick’s knuckles. Such a small light touch but electricity zapped his skin and spiralled into his gut. There could be no future with Nick. Flying was hard-wired into him, but for one night that could be forgotten. If it were bad, then sure, it would be disappointing but it’d be easy to walk away. Blame it on the chemistry while keeping his real fear locked up. And if it were good …? He could probably still walk away and have one great night to look back on. It had been too long since he’d found someone who got him this amped.

  ‘I wouldn’t say no.’ Nick’s fingers interlaced with his own, his eyes drawing up and holding Lyall’s attention. His breath locked in his throat. ‘You’ve finished your drink. Do you want another?’

  He swallowed hard. ‘I don’t think so. I’ve got something else in mind.’

  ***

  Nick came with Lyall in the car and having him so near sent a low-level current buzzing just below the surface of his skin. Anticipation charged the space between them. Conversation stilted then stopped altogether, apart from a couple of street directions, which Lyall struggled to compute despite Nick literally living down the road. Normally he wouldn’t have been so forward and apart from a few moments of innuendo, they’d been genuinely content to sit and talk. But the more they talked, the more he’d wanted to get Nick naked.

  He pulled up in front of Nick’s apartment building. Nick hopped out and went to the front gate, waiting for Lyall to follow, but a bundle of thick nerves uncoiled inside his belly, heavy enough to keep him in his seat. A quiet voice—one hidden behind the flush of lust—said he was making this tough for himself. He should leave now. He couldn’t date a pilot; that was a simple fact.

  Yet there he was.

  The voice sank beneath desire.

  He followed Nick’s tidy arse up to the top floor and was let into his apartment where he was hit with an amazing view of the city through the balcony door. Lyall had taken little interest in it when he’d first been there—more interested in getting an eyeful of Nick—but at night, with the blinds open and the skyline glittering, it was breathtaking. Nick invited him out and the gentle summer breeze enticed him to the edge.

  ‘You’re lucky with the view,’ he said.

  ‘It’s even better now,’ Nick replied.

  He let that corny line pass, which was easy when Nick’s lips pressed against his nape. The current increased, his skin humming with the light touch of Nick’s kiss and the scratch of his stubble—enough to tease the itch he had much deeper down. He closed his eyes and leaned backwards, exposing more of the side of his neck. Nick’s mouth raised goosebumps and extracted moans. Lyall stiffened and ground his arse back into Nick’s pelvis, meeting firm resistance before Nick spun him around and kissed him on the mouth. Pressed against each other, Nick’s hardness rubbed against his own. He wanted it in him, he wanted to fuck the fear away and forget that Nick was a pilot. His heart pounded high in his throat. Their mouths were hungry, but when he thought he’d be devoured, Nick put a hand on his chest and held him at arm’s length.

  He couldn’t be allowed space to think.

  With his free hand, Nick wiped his thumb across his bottom lip. ‘That was … That … Wow.’ He panted and took a step backwards, his hand brushing through his hair.

  ‘Then why did you stop?’

  ‘To catch my breath before I pass out.’

  ‘I know I’m good but I didn’t think I was that good,’ he said with as much cheek as he could muster—dimples and all.

  Nick’s lip curled into a growl and he charged, hands going to either side of Lyall’s face. He kissed him with a deep, strong, primal urge that barrelled through Lyall’s system, knocking out any control or restraint. That quiet voice pleaded for him to go no further but all power was diverted to coping with the sensory overload. Nick’s hands slipped lower, nerves pinging wherever he went, and he struggled to keep upright. Then Nick’s palm slid under his shirt, rose to his pec and all of Lyall’s attention went there, waiting, waiting, dreading but wanting Nick to …

  He roughly thumbed Lyall’s nipple, and a shudder blasted outward, forcing him to break the kiss and let out a strangled gasp.

  ‘I see I’ve found a weakness.’ Nick pinched his nipple. Hard.

  He buckled from the second jolt rippling outward that burst through the ends of his fingers and increased the tingling in his lips.

  ‘Bedroom,’ he grunted.

  Nick led him into the pitch-dark master bedroom and shoved Lyall against the wall. ‘Stay.’

  Nick vanished but within seconds a soft light beside the king-size bed illuminated the room. The bed was made, unlike his own back home. Not that Nick would ever get to see it. This would be a one-time thing. A fucking wonderful heavens-opening one-time thing. Nick would never get to meet his—

&nb
sp; Nick’s mouth stopped that unwelcome thought dead. He pulled Lyall towards the bed, their lips still touching and Nick’s hands working Lyall’s belt. The sharp pull of leather against metal bucked Lyall’s hips. He was glad he’d taken his shoes off at the door. He wanted his jeans off two minutes ago.

  Nick’s hands moved away from his waist, leaving the fly on his jeans untouched. Instead, he unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his chest. Not wanting to be the only one unprotected, Lyall pulled Nick’s polo shirt over his head, bent and locked his lips onto Nick’s neck. Nick’s fingers burrowed into Lyall’s hair and forced him close. He suck and bit, eliciting a sharp intake of breath and a deep rumbling moan.

  Button found.

  Now to find the others.

  Lyall kissed him, his mouth roving downwards to flick at his nipple, to descend his abs and circle his belly button. He unfastened and opened Nick’s trousers, his briefs tented and with a few sharp tugs Lyall had freed Nick’s erect cock.

  Thick and long, Lyall wrapped his hand around its meaty length. Nick crunched from the grip, and Lyall opened his mouth to take it. His gag reflex wanted it out, but he suppressed that and Nick’s cock slid in deep. The moans coming from above, and the way Nick’s fingers dug into his hair, wanting to ram it further but at the same time slow down, had him aching for his own pleasure. He slipped his hands into his jeans and gripped his own hard-on.

  But as he was getting into his stride, savouring the taste and feel of Nick sliding in and out of his throat, Nick withdrew.

  ‘Damn. You’re great at that.’ He kissed the place he’d been fucking, deep and exploring, and pushed Lyall back onto the bed. He yanked off Lyall’s jeans, taking his underwear with them.

  Stroking Lyall’s wet erect cock, Nick kissed down to his nipple, twirling his tongue around the right one. Lyall tensed, shivered. He reached for Nick but his hand was swept away. He tried again only to get the same rough treatment. Nick stopped and stuck it behind Lyall’s head.

  ‘Hands off.’ He grinned, kissing him quickly on the lips and returning to his nipple.

  His biceps twitched as he fought to keep his hands where they were. He wanted to share the pleasure, not take it all. It needed to be equal because this wouldn’t happen again. It was already going to be difficult to leave having experienced this once.

  Nick’s teeth grazed against the worked nipple, tensing Lyall’s stomach and abs and bringing him back to the present. He kept his fingers interlocked behind his head, and Nick looked at him with devil eyes. Nick tongued his nipple, nuzzled it, breathed on it, teased, until Lyall calmed, eased back, relaxed.

  Then Nick clamped down, and Lyall arched off the bed from the sharp pleasure radiating out of that nub of flesh, along those nerves that jacked his body. His cock throbbed, and Nick pumped him closer to release. He didn’t want to end like this, not when it was all being done to him and he had no way of bringing Nick along with him. Nick should be fucking him, Nick should be taking everything he had to give then maybe there’d be no reason to come back.

  He attempted to withdraw, but Nick ignored him, stroked harder, bit and sucked, his free hand pumping himself. Nick controlled him utterly, and his muscles strained and flexed, from his toes to his scalp. Lyall tried to hold back, waiting for a sign that Nick was ready.

  A guttural rumble rolled out of Nick’s throat and resonated in Lyall’s groin, tripping the last of his self-restraint. His balls tightened, his cock stiffened, and he froze. The pressure mounted and he groaned as he released across his abs and over Nick’s hand. Euphoria obliterated thought. Lyall’s body spasmed like an engine failing from overuse, super-heating his skin from hot to past boiling point. He shuddered with each shot of come and collapsed panting into the soft bed. Able to breathe again, he cooled with the sweat.

  Nick came a moment later, huffing as his body locked and he released. His movements slowed, and his bites stopped, feather kisses now on course up Lyall’s body. He rested his chin on Lyall’s chest and peered up at him. Lyall’s eyelids were half-closed but he could clearly see Nick’s dreamy smile.

  And something else in his expression that bordered on the dangerous.

  Couldn’t he entertain it for a little while longer? It wasn’t like he was going to stay the night. They’d only have this one time. No reprise.

  Nick kissed him, a kiss that claimed him and stirred the embers but didn’t stoke them into a full roar. He couldn’t let it. He needed time to recover, then he’d find his clothes and go home.

  Nick disappeared before returning with a towel. He wiped Lyall clean and lay next to him. Slipping his arm underneath Lyall’s head, with minimal encouragement, he pulled him into his embrace. The warm afterglow burned on; enveloping him in pure ecstasy. The scrap of tension that tried to gather strength succumbed. With his hand on Nick’s chest, he breathed in that delicious sweaty smell of a well-satisfied man.

  ‘Do you need to be anywhere in the morning?’ Nick whispered.

  A thrill burst through him, but it wasn’t enough to rouse him and speak the words accepting his offer. Why ruin this? He’d leave in the morning when it would be easier.

  5

  An alarm shattered Nick’s peaceful slumber, along with Lyall throwing back the sheets to bound out of bed, trampling the pieces into dust. His heart thumped faster than if he’d had five double espressos and done a high intensity workout. What was the emergency?

  Lyall, naked yet not where he should be beside him, ripped the phone out of his jeans and swore as he looked at the screen. Not an alarm; someone calling. Nick slumped back into bed, but his heart took longer to ease its thrashing.

  Lyall answered the call. ‘Yes, I know I’m late.’

  He paused as the conversation continued on the other end of the phone. Nick couldn’t make out the words but there was a high-pitched flurry of sound.

  ‘Of course I’m not dead,’ he said in a hurried whisper. Nick smiled at him, but Lyall didn’t return the grin. He looked stricken. He stepped into the lounge room.

  What was going on?

  Nick reached for his phone and checked the time. Ten am. He was meant to be meeting Sandy in half an hour. He texted her to say he’d be late, and she replied almost immediately saying the same.

  He struggled out of bed, wanting nothing more than to stay wrapped up in it with Lyall and rekindle what had happened last night. He stretched, invigorated even after having flown halfway across the world the day before. He didn’t normally sleep so well after a flight. Maybe Lyall was the missing magic ingredient.

  Could he convince him to stay again?

  But Lyall returned to the room with a scowl on his face and immediately put on his underwear and jeans.

  Guess that’s a no.

  ‘Everything alright?’

  ‘I wasn’t meant to sleep over last night, I’m sorry. I’ve got to get home to look after my nieces.’

  ‘I didn’t get you into trouble, did I?’ While it seemed strange that a grown man should still have to worry about being told off by his mother, Lyall’s body was closed down and turned away. Like he was ashamed. At least that was the assumption given the scant conversation he’d just had.

  Lyall pulled on his shirt. ‘No, but I’d better go, or else Mum will start on about family responsibilities and blah blah blah.’

  ‘I wish you could stay but I understand.’ At least he said he did. Not that it mattered. Lyall was more focused on getting dressed than talking. Nick pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and had barely slipped them on before Lyall was heading for the door.

  So that’s how it was going to be. Lyall had had his fun and was itching to go. Funny that. Nick usually managed to avoid those guys and while Lyall was hot as fuck he didn’t have the swagger that pegged him as someone who’d blow and go.

  In that case, had Nick come on too strong? What had he said last night?

  He followed Lyall to the door where Lyall scrambled to put his shoes on.

  ‘Have I offended you?’
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  The silver-blue in his eyes dimmed. ‘I just … I just have to go. I had a really good time last night.’

  ‘But you don’t want to see me again?’ He folded his arms across his chest.

  ‘I’d like to, really I’d like to, but …’

  ‘But what?’

  His gaze flicked left and right before not quite meeting Nick’s own. ‘I’m really busy at the moment and with my sister there’s a lot to deal with. Can I give you a call later?’

  Nick opened the door for him. ‘Don’t worry. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.’ He didn’t understand but he wasn’t about to act all possessive after one night. Maybe there was someone else he liked better. Maybe Nick talked in his sleep. Whatever. He didn’t need the hassle. It was easier to travel solo.

  Lyall eyed the list of countries on the fridge, frowned, and looked back to Nick. His skin had gone paler than his hair.

  ‘I’ll call.’ He kissed Nick hard on the lips, a desperate kiss like he was trying to remember what they’d shared. Nick softened but before he could go further, Lyall vanished out the door with a quiet goodbye.

  Nick’s bruised heart grasped after something that wasn’t there. What the fuck was that? He let the door close and turned to the list. He asked his mother’s memory what she thought, and he imagined the way she shrugged her shoulders, pursed her lips and crossed her eyes to make him laugh.

  But it didn’t work this time. He needed to talk to someone who was actually there.

  ***

  Forty-five minutes later Nick walked into his and Sandy’s favourite cafe by the beach, Sponda. She arrived a few minutes after.

  Dark brown hair tied back into a single ponytail, big round sunglasses that covered half her face, and a yellow-and-white polka dot dress, she looked about as far removed from her professional self as it was possible to be with clothes on. He stood up as she came over to the table, and they kissed each other on the cheek.

  ‘Hello, love.’ She sat opposite him and took off her sunglasses. She’d done a good job of hiding the shadows under her eyes.