by Karen Lynch
She opened her messenger bag and pulled out what looked like two concert passes. “A guy I know from the club asked me to give out these passes at school. I have two left if you want them.”
“Don’t you want to give the passes to your friends?” Sara asked her.
“We all have passes for Saturday, and they’re only good for one night.”
I sipped my coffee. “We heard about that girl Jessica who went missing. You’re not nervous about going out after that?”
Alicia shook her head. “Jessica went off alone to a movie. I only go out with friends. Besides, we were all at Luna last week, and nothing happened. Jessica was there, too.”
My chest fluttered with excitement. Jessica and Tracy had both gone to a rave before they disappeared. No way this was a coincidence. I shot Sara a glance and saw she’d come to the same conclusion.
Alicia looked from Sara to me. “What do you say? I promised the guy who gave them to me that I’d give them all out.”
I didn’t wait for Sara to answer. My gut told me this was the connection we’d been looking for between the two missing girls. “Sounds like fun,” I said. “Count us in.”
“Yay!” She handed us the passes. “The address is on the back.” She stood. “I have to get back to school. See you Saturday night.”
“We’ll see you there.”
She started to leave and stopped. “Oh, and those passes are for girls only, in case one of your boyfriends wants to come.”
I turned my pass over in my hands. “Girls only?”
“Yeah.” Alicia pointed to a pink stripe along the bottom of the pass. “See that there? That means it’s a girl’s pass. The boys’ passes have a blue stripe. They give out an equal number for each rave.”
“Smart,” I murmured.
I looked at Sara as soon as Alicia left. “What are the odds of Jessica and Tracy both going to a rave the week before they disappeared?”
Sara laid her pass on the table. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”
“Me either.”
Sara was quiet for a moment. “About the rave, I can ask Jordan to go to Luna with me if you’re not up to going out after… you know.”
“You can say it.” I smiled to hide the anxiety that had been simmering in my gut since I woke up.
The kindness in her eyes made my throat tighten. I knew how close she was to Chris, and I waited for her to tell me what a great mate he would be. Or to say something about me running out last night. I was not expecting her next words.
“When I found out about my bond with Nikolas, I wouldn’t even talk to him about it for a week. Then I got drunk, threw up in front of him, and told him I was breaking the bond.”
I gaped at her. “You did not.”
“Yep.” She nodded, amusement flashing in her eyes. “Trust me, your reaction last night was nothing compared to some of the stuff I’ve done. Oh, and stealing his bike was a nice touch. Jordan and I agreed you get points for style.”
“You really tried to break the bond?”
Seeing Sara and Nikolas together every day, it was impossible to imagine them not being crazy in love with each other. I knew they’d been bonded a while before they mated and that it had been stormy at times, but she’d never mentioned trying to break it off.
“I told him I was going to break it because I thought he didn’t want it.” She laughed when my eyes widened. “I know, I know. I was totally clueless. Nikolas was happy to set me straight.”
“I had no idea.”
“I told you we had a rocky start. I didn’t trust a lot of people back then, and I tried to push him away so many times.” She grinned over her cup. “Lucky for me, he’s a very determined man.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t break the bond with Chris?”
For a brief moment, I allowed myself to imagine being mated to Chris. My stomach did flips at the thought of having that kind of intimacy with him.
Sara set down her cup. “No. I’m saying you should break it only if you know in your heart that he’s not the one you want to spend your life with. If you have a single doubt, don’t rush into something you might regret. I loved Nikolas, but I almost let my fear and mistrust come between us. I can see you still care about Chris even after he hurt you. I’m not telling you to run into his arms, but don’t let the past dictate your future.”
I swallowed painfully, not sure what to say.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I know.” I gave her a small smile. “And I appreciate you caring enough to tell me about you and Nikolas.”
She reached across the table to lay a hand on mine. “I do care about you, and no matter what happens between you and Chris, it won’t change our friendship.”
“Thanks.” I looked down, blinking away tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t usually cry this much.”
Sara chuckled. “Been there. The bond makes you more emotional. It’ll pass after you…”
Her words trailed off, and I looked up to see her pressing her lips together. She didn’t need to finish the sentence because I knew what she’d been about to say. Once you completed the bond, things settled down. But what if you broke the bond? Did your heart recover from that?
We finished our coffee, and I reluctantly drove us back to the house. The faint flutter from my Mori told me Chris was there before I rounded the garage and saw him sitting on the front step of the guesthouse. There was no mistaking the relief that passed over his face as he watched me park the SUV and shut off the engine. Was he afraid I’d run before he could break the bond?
I sat there with my hands on the steering wheel, until Sara’s voice jolted me from my thoughts.
“Talk to him,” she said softly. “You’ll have to do it sooner or later, and sooner is better in this case.”
I nodded and took a deep breath before I opened the door and got out.
Chris
I stood when Beth exited the SUV, and my body tensed, half expecting her to run away again. I understood her hesitation to talk to me with the way things had been between us before last night. But we had bonded, and there were things that needed to be said, like the fact that I had no intention of walking away from her this time.
When I’d come to the guesthouse earlier and discovered she was gone, I’d been afraid she’d left for good. Nikolas told me she and Sara had gone to check out the schools, and I’d been relieved but also disappointed because I’d wanted to see her and to know she was nearby. As the hours had passed, I’d used the time to think about what I would say to her when we talked and how I would convince her to give us a chance.
The way I saw it, there were two ways to approach this. I could wait until Beth decided that being bonded to me wasn’t awful after all, forgave me, and fell in love with me again. Or I could come right out and make my intentions toward her clear from the start – and then get her to forgive me and fall in love with me again. Both would have the same final outcome, but I’d always preferred the direct approach.
I watched Beth walk toward me, and my chest tightened as it hit me again that I was bonded to this beautiful woman.
“Hi,” I said when she reached the step. I smiled, hoping to dispel the apprehension in her eyes.
Her fingers twisted in the bottom of her top, and she looked ready to flee.
“Hi.”
“Can we talk?” I asked.
For a moment, I thought she was going to say no. When she nodded, some of the tension left me. I opened the door for her, and she walked past me into the house. There was no mistaking the stiff set of her shoulders or the way she leaned slightly away as she passed me. I smiled at her back as I followed her inside. I had my work cut out for me.
Beth went into the small open kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge. She offered me one, and I accepted it. I expected her to go to the living room, but she stayed where she was, keeping the breakfast bar between us.
She took a drink of water and wiped her mouth with the back
of her hand, looking around uneasily before finally settling her gaze on me. Her voice sounded small and uncertain when she spoke.
“How do we do this?”
I hadn’t expected her to jump right in, but I was happy she was willing to talk.
“I think we should talk about the past first.”
She frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do with this. I hurt you, and I deserve the anger you’re feeling toward me. We can’t move on until we get it all out there and you can forgive me.”
“Why does it matter if I forgive you?” Her lower lip quivered, and she trapped it between her teeth.
I set my water bottle down on the counter and braced my hands on the edge of the granite.
“It matters because your happiness is all I care about. I know you’re not happy with any of this or me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to change that.”
Her brows drew together. “I don’t understand. You need me to be happy before we break the bond?”
My Mori growled, and my voice deepened.
“We’re not breaking the bond.”
Water sprayed everywhere, drops of it hitting my face. Beth gasped and stared at the crumpled plastic bottle in her hand as if she had no idea how it had gotten there.
I grabbed the paper towels, handing several to Beth, who still stood there frozen. She began drying her face and hands as if she was on autopilot, while I wiped down the counter and floor.
I took the crushed bottle and sodden towels from her, and she looked at me in confusion and disbelief until she finally found her voice.
“What do you mean we’re not breaking the bond?”
“I mean exactly that. I don’t want to end it, and I don’t think you do either.”
“Yes, I do,” she blurted.
The lack of conviction in her words told me she was lying, probably to herself as well. I felt lighter at the knowledge, and it was all I could do not to smile. Something told me that would only damage my cause.
“No, you don’t,” I said softly.
“Don’t tell me what I want.”
Her chest heaved, and color rose in her cheeks. My body stirred in response. I wanted nothing more than to pull her to me and kiss those lips I’d spent too many hours thinking about.
“Okay. Then I’ll tell you what I want.”
I walked toward her, and she backed up until she was in a corner with no escape. Her gray eyes were wide as I reached up to graze her jaw with my fingers. The contact with her skin sent heat surging through me, and I almost groaned when her lips parted slightly as if in invitation.
Instead of claiming her mouth, I leaned in until my lips brushed against her ear. I smiled at the shiver that went through her.
“What I want is you, Beth.”
“No. It’s the bond,” she said breathlessly. “It makes you feel things you normally wouldn’t. You think you want me, but you don’t.”
All I had to do was press my body against hers, and she’d know exactly how much I wanted her. But she’d only claim it was a physical reaction to the bond, and I needed to prove to her that what I felt for her went far beyond desire.
I leaned back so I could look into her eyes. “You don’t sound convinced. You feel it, too, and you’re lying if you say you don’t.”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. “The bond –”
“The bond doesn’t make you love someone.”
She moved her head back and forth. “I don’t love you. I might have once but not anymore.”
“Liar.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but I placed a finger against her lips. Her breath tickled my skin, sending a fresh wave of heat through me. If I didn’t leave soon, I was going to lose all control and kiss her.
“I won’t push you, but I’m not backing off either. I’m going to prove to you that we belong together.”
I heard the catch of her breath as I closed the distance between us. But all I did was press a brief kiss to the corner of her mouth. Then I turned and walked away from her and out of the house.
Beth
“Want to dance?”
“Huh?”
I blinked at the blond boy standing in front of me, wearing a hopeful smile. I’d been so distracted by my thoughts I hadn’t seen him approach. Some warrior I was if a human could sneak up on me in plain sight.
“Uh, sure.”
I gave him a smile and followed him out onto the dance floor. Around us, at least a hundred people moved beneath the flashing lights to the music coming from the DJ on a platform in the corner of the club.
My body swayed with the music, but my mind was soon far away again, replaying Chris’s words from yesterday. I couldn’t block them out, just as I couldn’t forget the warmth of his touch that made my stomach do flips every time I thought about it.
We belong together.
What I want is you.
I put a hand to my mouth and touched the place where his lips had been right before he’d walked out. If his plan had been to unsettle me, then mission accomplished. My emotions had been in a tailspin ever since.
He couldn’t be serious about not breaking the bond. Four years had gone by without a word from him. Four years. And now because our Mori liked each other, he suddenly wanted me?
I swallowed, remembering how my body had reacted to him, how I’d stood there breathlessly, waiting for him to kiss me. Wanting him to kiss me. I couldn’t even try to blame the bond for my desire for him. It might have heightened my emotions, but my physical attraction to him had always been there. Apparently, neither heartbreak nor time could change that.
“You might want to tone it down a notch.”
I turned my head to find Jordan dancing beside me. When she’d heard about the rave, she’d volunteered to come with me, and Sara had been only too happy to relinquish her pass.
“Tone what down?”
She arched an eyebrow. “That sexy vibe. If you don’t want every male in here lusting after you, stop thinking about him.”
“I’m not…”
My gaze went to my dance partner, who was watching me with undisguised interest. When our eyes met, he smiled and closed the gap between us.
“What school do you girls go to?” he said over the music. “I haven’t seen you here before.”
“Not from around here,” Jordan said before she began to dance provocatively against my back. The boy’s eyes bugged, and I had to fight not to laugh. Jordan was incorrigible.
Discretely, I elbowed her to tell her to behave. She let out a throaty laugh and danced beside me until the song ended. Then she waved at the boy and herded me off the dance floor, where we ran into Alicia and another girl.
“Beth, you made it!” Alicia squealed. “Is Sara here, too?”
“Sara couldn’t come. My friend Jordan used her pass.”
I introduced Jordan, and Alicia introduced us to her friend Mei, who smiled shyly at us. Mei was petite and pretty, and she reminded me of a doll Chris had once brought me from China. And I was thinking about him again.
Alicia beamed. “Isn’t this amazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many hot boys together in one place.”
I glanced around the room and realized she was right. Most of the people in this room – male and female – were attractive. And except for one or two, everyone looked to be in their late teens. Who opened a club and invited only people too young to drink alcohol?
Jordan nodded. “How often do you girls come here?”
“It’s my third time,” Alicia said. “I had to work to convince Mei to come tonight.”
I looked at Mei. “Not into raves?”
“Not really, but Alicia promised we’d only stay an hour.”
Alicia gave us a pained look, as if her friend had asked for a kidney instead of cutting their night short. She looped her arm through Mei’s. “We’re going to get something to drink. Want to come with us?”
“I’m good,” Jordan
and I said together and laughed.
I leaned against the wall and watched the two girls disappear into the crowd. Jordan and I had been here for an hour already, and I hadn’t seen anything out of place. It looked like a bunch of high school and college kids letting loose. But nothing too wild.
“You didn’t have to come tonight,” Jordan said. “I could have handled this on my own. Or I could have dragged Sara with me.”
I gave her a sideways look. “Why wouldn’t I want to be here?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you bonded to someone less than two days ago.” She frowned. “I’d still be freaking out.”
“Nothing freaks you out.”
“That’s true,” she said with a smirk. “Still, this is Chris we’re talking about. The love of your life.”
I huffed loudly. “He is not the love of my life. I don’t even like him that much anymore.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow, you said that with a straight face. Have you considered acting?”
“Shut up. I’m serious.”
“No, you’re angry with him, and you’re hurt about what he did. Totally understandable. But be honest. Would you be hurt after all this time if you didn’t still care for him?”
“Yes… I don’t know.” I sighed. “I admit I do feel something for him, but it’s not enough. I can’t trust him. He’ll only hurt me again.”
Her face softened. “Have you told him that?”
“No, because it doesn’t matter. I’m going to break the bond soon. He and I both know it’s for the best.”
She moved to stand in front of me so I couldn’t avoid her gaze. “He’s not behaving like a male who doesn’t want to be bonded. In fact, I’d say it’s just the opposite. He argued against you coming tonight, and then he insisted on being our backup. If he could have used one of those passes, he’d be standing here with you now instead of waiting outside.”
“It’s the bond. It makes males overprotective.”