Dylan moves me to sit on his lap. His hands are traveling all over my body, his lips touch every part of my exposed skin.
I turn, straddling his lap. I know Dylan’s turned on; I can feel him. But I’m crazy turned on too. “Dylan,” I whisper.
“Mmm.” He kisses my neck, and my eyes roll back because I’m loving everything he’s doing.
“Can we go to bed?” He stops kissing me. I swallow, waiting for him to say something.
“Only if you’re sure you want this. There’s no rush for sex, Molly, none at all.”
I place my hands on his cheeks, and lower my mouth to his. Kissing him, I show him how much I want this. “I’m sure,” I whisper.
He stands, grabbing onto my butt, picks me up, and walks us into our hotel room. He lowers me to the bed, and takes his shirt off.
Everything about him is beautiful. He kneels in front of me, and I open my legs so he fits snug between them. He takes the hem of my t-shirt in his hands, and lifts it over my head.
He stops once my upper body is exposed, with only my bra on. “Are you okay?” he asks. He’s attentive and caring.
“Perfect. Don’t stop.”
He hesitates for a few seconds, then leans forward and begins kissing my neck again. With a slight lick, he trails his tongue to the top of my breast. Unclipping my bra with one hand, he flicks my bra off.
My heart begins to beat quickly, and my stomach churns with anxiety.
This is my first time. I’ve never had sex with anyone before. I’ve never wanted to, until now.
His hands tenderly explore my body. I fall back on the bed, and Dylan hovers over me. “You’re beautiful,” he says.
My heart pounds stronger with each passing second.
I close my eyes, and try to push everything else out of my mind. I try to focus on what Dylan is doing.
My hands tremble as I reach for Dylan.
“Hey, I can stop,” he says.
I open my eyes, to find him staring down at me. “I’m okay, just keep going,” I encourage Dylan.
“Molly, if you’re not ready, I’m not going to keep going.”
“Please.” I grab onto him, and drag him toward me. “I’m ready.” He hesitates for a second, but continues to kiss my neck. Slower, more reluctantly. “I’m okay.”
“I know, I’m just taking my time. I’m enjoying you.”
Closing my eyes, I feel every brush of his lips, every tender stroke of his hand.
My body sweats, and I try to stop the trembling.
My breathing changes. It becomes short and labored. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. My chest feels like I have a ton of bricks sitting atop it. And I’m trembling so hard I can’t make it stop. “Stop!” I yell, but my voice comes out tiny and hoarse. It feels like hands are closing tight around my throat. “I can’t. I’m sorry; I can’t.”
Dylan jumps up off the bed and backs away from me.
“I’m sorry,” he says as he stands up against the wall. “I’m sorry.” Panic shrouds him.
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” I leap off the bed, and run to the bathroom, where I slam the door shut, and fall in front of the toilet. I heave into the bowl, bringing my dinner up.
“Molly, are you okay?” Dylan asks from the other side of the door.
“I’m sorry,” I say then burst into tears. My hands are still trembling, and my entire body is shaking from fear. I’m so embarrassed. I’m not even sure why I reacted this way. It takes me a long time to find the courage to open the door to the bathroom.
Dylan’s sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, as his elbows balancing on his knees. “Molly,” he says when he hears the door open. “I’m sorry. Is it something I did?”
I shake my head, unable to speak. I burst into tears again. I’m such a mess.
“It’s okay that you’re not ready. I can wait.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He walks toward me slowly and takes me into his arms, hugging me tight to his now-clothed chest. “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay. Look, why don’t you put your pajamas on, and we can just lie down. I promise you, nothing will happen until you’re a thousand per cent sure you want to.”
“I want to, really I do. But I freaked out. I’m not sure why.”
“It’s okay, really it is.”
I grab my pajamas, and head into the bathroom to change. I feel bad for not being able to have sex with Dylan. I don’t think it would be nice of me to strip in front of him. That’s teasing him with something I obviously can’t give him.
I brush my teeth again, and head out to find Dylan in bed already. “Come here,” he says as he pats the bed.
I crawl into bed, into his open arms and lay my head on his chest. I address the giant gray elephant in the room. “I’m not sure why I reacted like that. And please don’t say it’s okay; it’s not.”
“I know this is your first time, Molly. And it can’t be easy for you.”
Running my fingers over his chest, I think back to when Tina lost her virginity. “When Tina told me she had sex for the first time, I had no interest in knowing anything about it. But she wanted to tell me, so I let her. I remember thinking, how uninteresting sex sounded. And how I couldn’t see why all the girls in school were busting their asses to have sex with whomever they could. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to shame them, I just didn’t get it.”
“You don’t have to explain that to me.”
“Here’s the thing, Dylan. I never wanted to have sex with anyone. But I met you, and all these feelings started to develop, and having sex with you was—is—something I’m actually looking forward to. I have no idea why I just freaked out like that. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all me.”
“I don’t know what to say to you.”
“I’m embarrassed by my mini panic attack. That’s what it felt like. My chest became tight, I was shaking and sweating, and I ran to the bathroom to vomit. I can’t explain it. It’s not you, Dylan because I love you. It’s…” I stop myself. Shit, did I just say the L word to Dylan? If so, did he hear it? Crap, what have I done?
His embrace tightens around me. “You love me?” he asks in the sweetest of voices. It’s almost like he doesn’t believe me.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I might as well admit it. “I love you,” I say as I tilt my head up to look at him.
He smiles at me, and leans down to kiss me. “I feel the same way about you, too. I’ve loved you since the day you sassed me at the mall. You’re exactly what my heart craves.”
“But I flaked out, and I’m obviously not ready for sex.”
“When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.”
“I hate how perfect you are. I feel inadequate. Like you deserve better.”
“You’re my better, Molly. You’re my everything.”
I lean on one elbow, and hover over him for a kiss.
Laying on his body, I place my head on his chest and close my eyes. We may not have had sex, but now he knows exactly how I feel, and I know precisely how he feels about me.
I move to roll off Dylan so I don’t squish him, but he tightens his grip on me. “Stay. I like this.”
“Okay,” I whisper, and place a kiss over his heart.
I have his heart, and he has mine. I’m so lucky to have him, nothing can ruin this for me.
“How was it?” Mom asks as we prepare dinner.
I look around, making sure Dylan’s not anywhere near. I know he’s in the family room with Dad. I muster a weak smile. “Yeah, it was good.”
“Did you two have sex?” Mom doesn’t mix her words.
I look down at the pepper I’m chopping and I can feel my cheeks redden. This is a very personal question. “No, we didn’t.”
“What? Why?” she sounds shocked.
“I don’t know what happened. We were getting quite intimate, and I freaked out.” I stop chopping the pepper, and walk away from Mom. Sitting at the dining table, I keep looking down at the floor
. Zhen, gets up from where he was lying and follows me to sit between my legs.
“What do you mean by freaked out?” She comes and sits beside me.
I make some awkward hand gestures, like I’m trying to explain what happened. My voice gets stuck in my throat, and all I can do is shake my head while tears well in my eyes.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready yet. There’s no timeline or schedule for this kind of stuff, Molly. We’re all different.”
“I feel like I’m defective. Something up here isn’t working.” I tap my head. “I have no idea why I freaked out.”
“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, Molly. How did Dylan react? Because from what I know of him, I highly doubt he would’ve demanded you to keep going.”
“He didn’t. He was perfect. Honestly, Mom, I don’t know how I got so lucky with him.”
“Your father and I had our reservations about him.”
“What?”
She puts up a hand to stop me from saying anything more. “Let me finish, before you get defensive.” She takes a breath. “We were concerned about the age difference. And we thought he may want things from life that you don’t. But you’re like an old soul. And once we met him, interacted with him a few times, and got a chance to see him with you, we knew you are in good hands with him.”
“Oh,” I say, letting out a long sigh.
“We can’t say the same about Preston though.”
“Have you heard anything from Tina today?” I ask. Mom shakes her head. Her eyes fill with sadness, and I see she’s choking back the emotions. “Me either. I’ve sent her text messages, and tried calling her, but she’s not answering.”
“We went to his parents’ house this morning, trying to see her to make sure she’s okay, but… nothing.” Mom wipes at a tear as it rolls down her cheek. “She’s disabled find my iPhone on her phone, we don’t even know if they’re still at his parents’ house. Her car’s not there. We don’t know. The police called yesterday afternoon to say they went to see if she’s okay, and she told them she didn’t want anything to do with us. There’s nothing they can do. She’s of legal age.”
“Sorry, Mom, but this is absolute bullshit. He’s an abuser. He beats women, how can they do nothing when they know what he’s capable of.”
“Because no one has pressed charges against him.”
“Why can’t we?” I stand and begin to pace. Zhen follows me as I walk back and forth. “We have to do something before it’s too late.”
“I know.”
“Actually.” I stop and turn to face Mom. “I once saw a documentary about a group that kidnaps people who have been brainwashed and they de-condition them. Maybe we can do something like that?” I ask, eager to get my sister back. I miss her so much.
“I know exactly what you’re talking about, because we’re going to do this. We have someone going to their house tomorrow to get her away from him, and put her in a safe house where we and they can help her.”
“Wait. How? When?” I’m speechless.
“We met with someone this morning, and told them about our situation. They have to go in fast, because time is not our friend. And every moment she’s with him, is a moment he could be hurting her. We need to be really quick with this. We’ll do whatever’s in our power to get her away from him.”
I let out a huge sigh of relief. “I can finally breathe. I’m happy she’ll be out of there tomorrow.” I find a ray of hope in these plans, but I won’t truly rest until I know she’s safe.
“We’ll do whatever we have to do, to make sure you and your sister are safe. We love you both with everything we have.” Mom cries, and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I wipe at my own tears.
“I love you, Mom.” I walk over to her, and throw my arms around her. “This has got to be so hard on you.”
“I never wanted you to go through anything like this. But this is what family does. We’re there for each other regardless of how tough the times are.”
“Oh shit,” Dad says. Mom and I pull away, and look over to Dad. “You told her?” Mom nods. “We were going to tell you at dinner.”
“I’m so grateful that you thought of something like this,” I say to Dad.
“We’re going to fight back. That bastard thinks he’s tougher than us, but he has no idea what we’re capable of,” Dad says.
Dad’s determination and passion are in his voice. His eyes say he’ll kill Preston if he tries to do anything to stop us. “No one tears our family apart,” Mom adds.
Dylan walks into the kitchen, and steps back assessing what’s happening. “Um, sorry.” He looks between us. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Only the best news I’ve heard in a while,” I reply enthusiastically as I walk over to him and hug him.
“What’s happening? Can I help?” he asks. I give him a quick run-down of what’s going to happen tomorrow. “You’re right, that is fantastic news. What time are they going in?”
“They’re sending us an email with details of that. From the meeting we had this morning, it’ll be just after his parents leave for work. They’ll go in, take her, and get her to a safe house,” Mom replies.
“Is there anything I can do?” Dylan offers.
“No. Now it’s a waiting game,” Dad says. “But we appreciate that you want to help.”
“We’ve got to finish dinner,” I say as I stand and head back into the kitchen.
“What are we having?” Dad asks.
“Stir fry tonight,” Mom replies.
“I can help,” Dylan proposes.
“Do you want to get the bowls? It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Sure.”
I feel so much better and lighter knowing I’m going to have Tina back soon. My heart has been breaking and my soul has been wracked with anguish and fear. There’s a new lightness in the house. It feels like joy is creeping back in. Mom and Dad are both smiling for the first time I’ve seen since Tina left home. They look as relieved as I feel.
“Tell me about the Smithsonian,” Dad asks as we sit at the table to eat our dinner.
“It’s huge. I didn’t get a chance to fully appreciate it all. But Dylan has promised to take me back, and visit it with me.”
“Which one did you go to?”
“American History, but I want to go back and also see Air and Space Museum and the Art Museum.”
“Both of them?” Dylan asks.
“Hey, you promised to take me back. I didn’t say which one I wanted to see. So suck it up, buttercup.” I tease as I lean into him.
“Buttercup? Really? Do I look like a buttercup?” he says in a flat, playful tone.
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” Mom laughs. “Oh my God. Last night, Dylan bought Russian food for us. This beet soup I had, um, what’s it called again?”
“Borscht,” Dylan says.
“We have to have it one night. It’s so good. He’s opening my palette to a whole range of different foods.”
“I heard about your homemade pizzas,” Dad says. “You know we have a wood-fired pizza oven out in the garden.”
Dylan gasps. “You do?” he asks, all excited as he cranes his neck to see, even though it’s dark.
“We do. We never use it, but we have it.”
“You’ll just have to come over and make pizzas for us all,” I say.
“I will. I’d love to have a pizza oven, but my apartment doesn’t allow it. Besides, there’s nowhere for me to put it.”
“Do you own your apartment?” Mom asks.
“Not all of it. The bank owns about two-thirds.”
“You own property, at your age?” my Dad asks. “I’m impressed.”
“Actually, I own two apartments. Well kind of. I have another apartment in the same building. I lease it out.”
“You do?” I ask.
Dylan nods. “They both came up at the same time. The one I’m living in I was renting, so it made sense for me to buy it. The other one is one floor do
wn. It’s a one bedroom not like mine. I bought that one too. It was already rented, and the tenant was happy to stay on.”
“The more time you spend with us, the more I like you,” Dad says.
“Um, thank you?” Dylan replies. “This is really nice.” He eats another forkful of stir fry.
“When are we…” I’m interrupted by a knock on the front door. “I’ll get it,” I say.
“No, no. You stay and eat, I’ll get it,” Mom says as she stands and heads to the door.
“When are we going back to Washington?”
“NOOOO!” I hear Mom wailing from the foyer. We all jump out of our seats and run to see what’s happening.
I see them and my heart stops.
My body erupts into goosebumps.
I feel my throat tighten, and I can hardly breathe.
I freeze, terrified of the words they’re saying.
Two female police officers are standing at the door. Their caps under their arms.
Mom’s on the floor, hysterically crying.
I hear the word. That one word. “…killed.”
I collapse to the floor in a boneless heap.
“We’re sorry for your loss.”
She’s dead. Tina is dead.
I can’t cry, I can’t do anything. My body is numb, my mind is blank. I stare at nothing.
“Molly, Molly…” I look at the man kneeling beside me. I turn to him, and blink. “Molly.” He grabs me and embraces me.
Screaming, I back away from the man. Why’s he trying to touch me?
“Molly,” he says again.
I look up to him. “Why are you calling me Molly? My name’s Neve.”
“Neve, it’s time,” I say as I hand her the bunny.
Neve looks around, and shakes her head. “I can’t hear the music,” she says. “I’m not going anywhere.
“She needs our help. She’s shutting down.”
“But I can’t hear the music.”
“It doesn’t matter. She needs us, Neve. It’s what we do.”
Neve stands from where she’s sitting at her desk, coloring in one of her books. She snatches the bunny from my hand and cuddles it. “I don’t understand. If I can’t hear the song, then why am I going?”
Echoes of You Page 19