by Ruby Raine
More worth she could not calculate the cost of, but the amount was climbing.
“And I can do it all again if you help me, Lisbeth. I don’t want to be the monster. I never did.”
She took a moment. Imagining her Grayson back. Somehow putting these deaths behind them... a second chance. Did she want it? Was it even possible?
“So what exactly did Charlotte do to you? How do we lift the curse? Why did you not return to the Isle after you escaped, or after Charlotte died? Why only now, are you returning and seeking out my help?”
“Because, when you freed yourself, you freed me. In part...” It made sense if his curse was tied to her own. “My Lisbeth, oh My Lisbeth. I was not aware of your condition when she first took my ashes and brought me back. Her curse forced me to exist in this world without you, a monster once again.”
“So the curse is why you’re feeding off humans again?” She needed to hear him say this was the reason. That it was in no way his choice.
“It’s the curse. Only the curse. I never wanted to defile your memory with such treachery. Charlotte made it so once I’d left the Isle, I was banned from ever returning. It’s a vexing mystery how she accomplished such things.”
Lizzy guessed it was extremely dark and powerful magic. Maybe even something to do with why Charlotte had fed him her own blood to heal him. Not just that she was trying to control his strength, or needed his blood inside her so when she died she’d become a vampire. But dark magic often required blood.
“The moment I was on the mainland, free of The Demon Isle, it all hit me,” Grayson continued. “Like some magical veil lifted out of my mind. Every horrid detail of what had been done to you. That you were a prisoner on the Isle. Not dead, merely a spirit without a body. Immediately I tried to return, my plan to do anything and everything necessary to free you. But alas, I was no longer permitted to step foot on the Isle. No matter how hard I tried. She’d forever split us apart. Charlotte made it so I was not even capable of speaking of it to another soul. Not even a way to send someone else in my place. And then... the thirst hit me...”
“You lived all this time with the knowledge of what happened to me?” Lizzy feared she might vomit. Grayson had suffered. Regardless of the deaths he’d caused, he did suffer as she had. Maybe more so as he knew the truth and was helpless to do anything about it.
“The truth is a pain unlike any other I have ever survived. It has nearly driven me to madness. I’ve come to believe I never truly escaped anything. Hell has followed me since the day you vanished.”
“Charlotte let you escape, didn’t she?”
“Hell hath no fury like a crazy-ass bitch scorned,” he returned in flat animosity. “I’m sure she meant me to suffer for spurning her advances and refusing to turn her.”
“It does appear that way. So why were you able to return to the Isle? What changed?”
“I didn’t understand what changed at first. Something was... different. Sadly, it took me weeks to figure it out. The magical block Charlotte put inside me, that’s the best way I can describe it, this block, lifted. It wasn’t until I accidentally spoke of you, and the Isle, that is struck me. You were free. And I was able to return, at last.”
“Because you could speak of it when before you could not.” Lizzy nodded in comprehension. Her mind flew through many thoughts, spanning all the years of her ghastly imprisonment. Imagining if she’d known Grayson was alive out there somewhere and being unable to reach out to him in any way.
The horror of this broke her heart.
She really had been much more naïve in her previous life.
How did she miss the true depths of evil Charlotte carried inside her? Was it because she carried the last name of Howard, it was easily overlooked or excused? Or perhaps it was that seeing such evil as real, was too much to accept as real?
Her memories of that time were a little fuzzy in some spots. But she’d missed so much. Everyone had. And after Charlotte failed at this task of becoming a vampire and remained human, she’d lived out her life on the Isle. No one ever truly knew the depths of her evil. She hid it well.
Lizzy had never been more satisfied with a death than Charlotte Howard’s final breath. Although it had not led to her freedom as she’d hoped. Only more years of captivity, thanks to her own despicable family who got addicted to dark magic.
“Okay, Grayson. I think I’m getting the overall picture of what happened and all you’ve gone through.” She kept her voice calm, while inside she was anything but. “How do we stop you from killing again? I’m assuming it’s the last part of the curse we need to break, and then you’re free of it all?”
“Yes. It’s the last string that needs to break. When your curse broke, the magic keeping me off the Isle broke too. At last, I was able to come and find you. Charlotte, dear fucking Charlotte. She planned for every eventuality like she saw into our futures.”
Lizzy’s eyed widened for a moment, wondering. It wasn’t common knowledge that Charlotte had this magical gift. But it made sense she might have. How she so easily gained the upper hand and planned for things and futures not so easily guessed.
“You think she did,” Grayson realized aloud. “My mind is already more in tune with yours.”
Lizzy squirmed a little at that. “It would explain a lot if she did. But I don’t know this to be true. It’s possible perhaps, if it became public knowledge, it might have been recorded in some of the Howard history. I suppose it doesn’t matter now though. Only getting you free of this curse.”
He let out a languid sigh. “When I first left the Isle, the thirst hit me. So hard it burned. And I grew weak. So very weak. Not just physically, but inside my mind. She did something that made me crave human blood more so than ever before. And only blood of the living would heal the burn. But I needed to live. So one day I might find a way to free you from your suffering, Lisbeth. It was worth all the lives I took...”
“I cannot agree with you, Grayson. I would never put more value on my life than another. You know this.”
“I do. But I am a vampire.” The words tore out of him, each filled with anguish. “A vampire in love who tried to die, and did not. It changed me. Made me believe I was meant to live, and free you. I did try to stop. And after many years, I did try to kill myself again. But I was weak and did not. And now, the longer I go without living human blood the thirst gets stronger. It builds to a need so deep I cannot control it. I will kill any living thing...”
“Innocents...”
“Yes,” he admitted dejectedly. “The thirst took over, I had no control of whose life I snuffed out.” There had been a time he’d only drank from humans he deemed unworthy to live.
“Does this include me? Would you kill me?”
“I do not wish to find out.” His answer a brutal pull into reality. “The very idea I suffered all I have to return to free you, only to kill you... it would be a final sadistic revenge from Charlotte.”
“That it would.” Lizzy was getting sobered up now. Love him, hate him, their past set aside, she needed to fix this before another innocent life was taken. The consequences of his actions would have to be dealt with after. She’d not think about that now.
“You should also be aware Lisbeth, the curse, it worsens. Now that I am on the Isle, I fear I cannot leave it. Charlotte wants me stuck here now. With the bloodlust surging inside me.”
Lizzy cringed. There were so many possible meanings behind this. She suspected, again, to make sure Grayson had to die. And she had no doubt in his crazed state he’d be willing to hide the fact he was getting stronger, or possibly planning an escape.
Self-preservation was a strong motivator for human, witch, or supernatural being. They had just one vial of werewolf blood left, they’d need to get more, fast. And now that she’d spoken to him this would only give him more incentive to escape. Unless he was controlling his hunger in hopes of her help, and not being the monster anymore.
Disappointment hung heavy in Grayson’
s gaze. “You’re afraid. Of me.”
“I understand the anguish you have lived through, Grayson. I do. More so than anyone else ever could. But I cannot, will not, allow you to hurt anyone else. You did all this to save me, and for that I can only be forever grateful. But I cannot condone taking innocent lives. I would prefer to stay a ghast if it meant you never killed a single innocent soul.”
She was pulling away. His tone took on a more desperate plea.
“We can go back to the way we were, Lisbeth. But the longer I deny this thirst, the deadlier I will become. The more unstable I will become. We don’t have much time. Hours? A day, until it gets too strong for me to deny the thirst. Unless you break the curse. And then we can live the life we were meant to.”
“I’m not sure I can, Grayson.” It slipped out but she meant this on all levels. “I’m sure you’re right that I have to break the curse, but I do not know how. And even if I do, I cannot see my future. Our future.” I’m not sure I still love you the same way I did, or if I can, again.
This riled him, the admittance surging too much energy into his bloodstream. He struggled against his bonds, but even with the burst of adrenaline, sluggishly so, because of the werewolf blood still diluting his vampire abilities.
“This has nothing at all to do with me, or what I’ve done,” he growled. “And everything to do with that werewolf.”
“Yes. And no,” she spoke honestly. “What you’ve done is, reviling, Grayson. I’m not sure I can ever look at you the same again. It hurts me to admit because I do love you. I never stopped for a moment. You were cursed, but you did choose to keep going, and kill, even though it was to try to save me,” she stopped herself, unable to continue.
Lizzy was no less confused about the Charlie, Grayson thing. And was equally perplexed as to what to do with Grayson. Though he chose self-preservation and claiming it was to save her, didn’t he deserve a second chance? To prove he was in control once removed out of the curse. A second chance because he’d loved her so much and suffered so much.
If this had been a topic discussed a few days ago with regards to William Wakefield, the answer would have been deserved, maybe. But what about the innocent lives, stripped away without choice? Didn’t they deserve justice too?
But William wasn’t cursed. Only tortured near to death and forced to drink insane amounts of human blood to recover and survive. Riley had been cursed, and they held no death sentence over his head. He had not taken any innocent lives though. And she was the only one who carried any love or sentiment over Grayson, who had few acts of humanity to sway to the side of second chances.
She needed time to sort this all through but as usual, the clock was against them.
“How do I break the curse? You seem to think it has to be me.”
“A question I cannot answer, however, something tells me Charlotte would have made sure it had to be you. And no one else.”
Made sense at some level. Still did not tell her how though.
Was there any outcome that included Grayson Moone remaining alive?
From the look on his face, he did not believe it any more than she did. Which made him dangerous. To everyone.
When was Charlie coming back? Oh right, he hadn’t said.
They needed more werewolf blood. Fast.
LIZZY BARRELED OUT of the cell and locked it up without another word. She leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes. There was nothing more to say right now. And Grayson’s pained growls sliced her deep. Wasn’t this the ultimate betrayal in a sense? To refuse to stand by his side, fighting for him, as he always did for her? As he did do, in a sick way, all these years.
It was the first moment in her life she ever doubted.
Doubted that doing the right thing, was really the right thing.
That the good of all was better than sticking up for the man she’d loved, no matter what he’d done.
So many times she’d wondered, what made good witches go bad? What turned people who were inherently good, to the side of darkness? In some cases, it was easy to determine the path taken. The wrong choice made. Others, it was subtler, or impossible to find.
Lizzy swore if she looked below her feet she’d be standing on a precipice. She’d always lived by duty, and honor. Where did her duty lie? With the man she’d loved before, or in the life she’d always put first? A life she had not been willing to give up, even when engaged to marry Grayson. But also a life that had shit all over her in a grand fashion.
And Charlie. She inevitably ended up there.
Before Grayson had shown up, she’d let herself settle into a future with the wolf. She’d thought herself ridiculously lucky. Like perhaps fate had worked in some sick and twisted way to get her into the time and place she was meant to be.
And then her past was flung right back at her.
So what did that mean?
There was no such thing as fate? Was it all bullshit?
She frowned and shook her head ruefully. If she was having this conversation with Charlie, he’d not even get angry with her for having such doubts. He’d understand, probably even wonder how she never did before considering the hand she was dealt.
But it all came down to innocence.
And even if the curse was to blame for Grayson’s condition, he’d taken so many innocent lives. It changed your view of someone whether you wanted it to, or not.
Nothing would be decided today.
And with each step up the stairs, Lizzy realized she was taking another step back into the light. No matter who she loved, or wanted to love, she’d never allow innocents to get hurt. This wasn’t duty. Or honor really. Just basic belief in human equality.
No one life is worth more than another, ever.
No matter how much personal worth you give them over someone else.
No matter how much worth they are assigned by anyone.
Lizzy reached the top of the stairs, lighter, her head on straighter.
She explained all she’d learned to the others, and when finished, Lucas reached out and patted her shoulder.
“You look like explaining all that totally wiped you out. I can take you home if you want,” he offered. “It is getting late.”
“Not yet. There’s something I want to research first.” She looked to Michael and Melinda. “Do you have any old family records, back as far as when I was alive? Or really, I’m looking for Howard history.”
“Charlotte?” Michael assumed.
“Yeah. Her.”
“We do have archives, it’s worth a look.” They all filed into William’s study. It didn’t take long to find the archived Howard history, but it did take time to find the right period. They had to go back quite a few years.
“These must be a bit like reading your own biography,” stated Melinda after they’d been searching for a while.
“A little bit. Odd really, to have lived so long, and see your past written down in a book. Especially when it’s the incorrect version and my existence became nothing but a footnote. I’m sure Charlotte made sure of that.”
“She probably also made sure that things she didn’t want revealed about herself were not included,” noted Michael. “But we’ll keep looking just in case.”
The entry on Lizzy wasn’t all that big. Mostly, it talked about when she went missing. There was even some who believed her vampire had lost his way and killed her. She hadn’t heard that while in her ghastly form. Poor Grayson. Again. Forced to put up with those accusations. And most likely Charlotte’s doing. Once those people lost trust it was not easily earned back.
“It’s weird how time can somehow romanticize reality,” she murmured to no one in particular.
“How so?” prodded Lucas.
“Just the generalness of how I pictured my life after I lost it. Sometimes now, seeing the truth with a little more clarity, and distance, I wonder why I ever wanted to go back.”
“So it wasn’t all skittles and rainbows?” jested Michael gingerly.
It didn’t take long to find a few sections about Charlotte Howard. Most notably, her excellence as a witch. The first woman to train other witches in combat and battle.
“I wanted that job,” Lizzy recalled. “It was not an easy time to be a woman and a witch. Not so unlike today in some things. Men still don’t like women in combat. It was even harder in my day.”
“You’re doing that job now,” reminded Melinda. “You didn’t end up being the first woman to do it, but I’d wager you’re one of the best teachers considering how Charlotte turned out.”
Lizzy chuckled. “I do like teaching you guys. I always saw myself teaching others. Someday I’ll get to teach my little babies,” she caught herself. She hadn’t meant to say that. She swore she heard Grayson snarling in the basement. Babies and the vampire were not possible. She’d never wanted them in her previous life.
No one said anything.
“Oh, look,” prompted Lucas. “I found another Charlotte entry.”
They clambered around the book he held. It was old and made of weathered leather. But all the Howard history books had been protected by magic, so they’d last as long as the Howard’s remained witches.
“That’s right,” said Lizzy after a minute. “It’s coming back to me now. I had been so eager for Charlotte’s death thinking it would free me, I did not attend her funeral. I had,” she shook her head. “I went to a very dark place when she died, and I wasn’t freed. I thought her death would end my curse.” She shook herself before delving too deeply into that dark vacuum that nearly sucked away all her hope. “Anyway, this never made sense to me. Charlotte didn’t want her body burned and put into the Howard Mausoleum as was the tradition.”
“Huh, that does seem odd, seeing as that’s where nearly every Howard ends up. If it’s possible.” Michael scrubbed his hand across his chin. It hadn’t been possible with their parents who were now permanent residents inside the old tree next to the power source. “I don’t recall anyone in our family who specifically requested a ground burial. On the witch side of things, at least.”