by Ruby Raine
There was a string of words on Riley’s tongue but he held them in. He’d already just said it anyway, and it had nearly come out of his mouth again. The love word. Like he needed to keep reminding the vampire how much he should hate him.
“You are correct, Riley. I do love Melinda.”
Riley already knew this but it still hurt to hear from the vampire’s mouth.
“And there is a part of her that returns that love. There’s no point in lying. But the truth is, she will never be mine. And the reality is, you are good for her in a way I have never been, and can never be. She needs you. You Riley. Not me. Not ever me.”
William left out the part where he’d seen so much while delving into her mind. Not just the love Melinda had for himself, but for Riley too. And he’d seen the manner in which Riley cared for her, and to his equal dismay, and approval, it was nothing but honorable. And right. For Melinda.
It was Riley’s thoughts and fears come true; the vampire loved her and Melinda hadn’t made the choice, but it was being made. Riley Deane, the winner, by default.
William stood up, ready to leave the table.
“You are asking me to go back to the Isle and love a woman who will never fully love me?”
“Yes.”
“Even though she’ll never stop loving you too? Don’t bother denying it, or saying she’ll get over you, because she won’t.”
“That might be true, but it changes nothing.”
“I don’t know if I can do that. Love someone with every part of me, holding the knowledge she won’t ever feel that. Not to its fullest.”
“You can. Because even a little of her love is worth it.”
William was right about that. He really was. And yet it was still a bit like putting himself in some kind of prison. One that would forever hurt as much as it enraptured.
“I can’t face Melinda after all the suffering I caused her. How could she ever forgive me?”
“If you must ask that Riley, then I have misjudged you and you do not deserve her.”
Riley curled up into himself, hating that the vampire was right.
God damn it, why was he always fucking right?
What an awkward conversation. Talking about the woman they both loved, and the vampire basically saying, you win because I take myself out of the race.
“I’m not the only reason you’re here though, right?” If they were being ridiculous levels of honest, why not get it all out in the open.
William rumbled out a sigh. “I assume you’re speaking of that letter you stole from my jacket pocket?”
“Sorry. I woke up in a strange place. No clue where I was. Hell, I wasn’t even positive I was still alive at first. I was hoping to find something to tell me where I’d ended up.”
William held the back of his chair like he needed the support. Again, looking meekly human. Weakened in some way.
“I am here in Sorcier because of you, and because it was time to see my other family. But yes, the letter is the reason I’m not currently on The Demon Isle.”
Riley was confused about what he’d read, and parts of it were fuzzy in his memory as he’d been hung over and suffered a severe pounding only hours before reading it.
“How are they?” he dared ask. “Is everyone on the Isle okay?” Is Melinda okay? The deep freeze crept over his heart again, hardening in wait for the answer. There was an anguished sigh and Riley hovered his gaze on the now outwardly distressed William.
“I cannot answer that with any certainty. I left the Isle before...” a clear look of agony passed across the vampire.
“What do you mean? Aren’t you in like, constant contact with them?”
“Not at this time. I’m fulfilling a final request from Jack Howard. And frankly, doing something I should have done years ago. It is not... easy for me.” In reality he was struggling with his choice to leave. Worried twenty-four-seven about what was going on back on the Isle, and if everyone was indeed, okay. He imagined they were not given all that had occurred before his departure.
“How could you leave them to fend for themselves?” Riley bolted out of his seat, rubbing his hand over his face. “Don’t they need you? What if they’re under attack again?”
William lifted a brow.
Riley backed down. “Yeah, okay, so I do care about them. Leaving, doesn’t mean I don’t. But it also doesn’t mean I want to go back. But you... aren’t you the great Howard protector? Always the vampire to the rescue, or some shit?”
“Or some shit.”
Riley grasped the back of his chair for balance, mimicking the act he’d just seen William do. The vampire had regained his composure though.
“If you wish to discover their conditions, there is an easy solution.” Riley eyed the vampire, his gaze questioning. “Pick up the phone and ask them.”
Riley scowled.
What was he expecting the vampire to say?
“I can be certain, regardless of what is going on back on the Isle, they are devastated over your departure. And it would ease their suffering to hear from you.”
“I find that very hard to believe.”
“If I did not believe it, Riley, we would not be standing here having this conversation.” William abruptly departed the room, effectively ending their talk, leaving the young man to ponder all that had been said.
CHARLIE PAUSED, STANDING in the driveway before heading into his home. Apprehensive about what exactly awaited him inside other than loads of trouble. He was about to see Lizzy again. He’d let his ears hone in on the voices inside, grateful for the wolf hearing today. She was speaking inside the mansion, the kitchen he guessed. No, wait, it was getting closer.
The front door swung open and Lizzy came pouring out of it only to freeze on the spot as if stuck in the middle of a place she did not wish to be. Eyes met. Said so many things their voices were not able to. But nothing had changed. If anything, it was worse than before Charlie had run away on his boat.
Them, even farther away now than before.
Lizzy’s heartbeat was erratic, skipping all over, and not just because of his appearance out of nowhere. She was upset about something, eyes brimming in waterworks she was fighting so very hard to keep in.
Lucas flew out behind her but stalled upon seeing Charlie and her staring each other down. He spun around and hightailed it back inside. Not even a single desire to witness this tense reunion.
Lizzy finished down the stairs and met him in the driveway. A steeled expression taking over.
Charlie had wanted to act cool and collected, instead, all he stammered out was, “Hi.” He dropped his head, shaking it. “My infamous favorite first words to you... you’d think I’d come up with something better by now.”
She relaxed her steeled expression. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to jump out at you, I was...”
“Needing some air?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“Helping any?”
“Not yet,” she admitted, there was a slight tremble in her voice.
“Probably because I’m filling it,” he returned flatly, hating himself for his piss poor timing.
Lizzy flung her hands into the air. “I can’t do this, Charlie.”
His brows pinched together with a flicker of distress that made him fight the urge for the silver of his wolf to claim his blue eyes.
Was she choosing Grayson? Right now, already, just like that?
“I just mean, I need to be me,” she clarified, seeing she’d instantly freaked him out. “I can’t tiptoe around and pretend all this shit isn’t happening. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Or anyone’s. That is the last thing on my mind. I just... need to be... me.” She threw her hands out in front of her and pinned her gaze on him, hoping he understood as she was not finding it easy to explain what she meant. “I guess you’re not the only one a bit tongue tied.”
Charlie grinned. Could not help himself. Like usual, he’d gone straight into worst case scenario mode. Pass or fail. There was
no in between. Except there was, and he stuck living in it and dying to get out of it.
“I would expect nothing less, Lizzy. And I’m glad. Relieved, actually.”
She softened more, chewing on her ever so biteable lips. Charlie pretended not to notice but his gaze lingered too long and he had to force it away. The moonlight made her look soft and vulnerable, and seeing Lizzy in such distress when she was normally so sure of herself, bothered him tremendously. He wanted to make it better, but it wasn’t his problem to solve. The future was something she had to decide.
“We both knew this might get awkward, Lizzy, so let’s just be us. You’re right that neither of us can pretend otherwise.” At least this could be all in, or out, leaving nothing to the middle ground.
“There’s too much going on in my head. I need to be able to think straight, which is proving near impossible with everything going on. And so much harder if I can’t be myself.”
“Lizzy, we work good together and there’s no reason for that to change. You’re a live in the moment, wear your emotions on your sleeve type of person. I know you don’t think of yourself that way. But you don’t hold back and I don’t want you to on my account. Or Grayson’s, or anyone’s. I’d never ask that of you. Ever.”
And wasn’t that part of why she loved him so damn much!
She was not happy he was right about her though. No matter how she’d tried to control her emotions in public places, she did so poorly. Just because she’d save the worst of it for her “crying beach,” didn’t mean she hid the rest enough. It had never felt right, keeping it all in. She’d never been able to be herself in her first life, other than with Mathew, or her father.
And after being ghasted, she’d determined she’d never live like that again. She was always getting herself into trouble for being unable to keep her mouth shut. That had not changed in all these years of her long life. Outspoken if she needed to be. She refused to hold back if it was important and needed to be said.
And damn the werewolf for being accidentally romantic and ridiculously understanding at a time like this. So very Charlie. And not helping because try as she might her body was completely betraying what her mind insisted was necessary. Was it possible for her mind and body to align, and agree, and behave, all at the same time, just once?
Damn these men!
Why did she fall so hard for the supernatural alpha types?
Somehow, these two males were able to see right through her. Just like Charlie was doing now. Just like Grayson did in the basement, and all those years ago when they’d been together.
It was written all over Charlie’s face, in the silvery blue swarming in his eyes. He was reading her like a book, saying every right word, and doing every right thing. It got her skin itchy and tight and burning up... simply too much testosterone! She needed some man free air to get her thoughts sorted out.
Charlie cleared his throat. Lizzy was putting off seriously aroused vibes. Some days, he wished it were possible to turn off the wolf senses, keep it from picking up all these little subtleties. Like the delicious honey and bourbon that was Lizzy Deane. Wolf part of him set aside, he was certain the male part of him would have picked up on it too.
The super hard part was not acting on it, or letting his body respond the way it wanted to; by stealing her away to some dark corner and kissing the ever loving hell out of her.
“So, um, what’s been going on? What all have I missed?” He needed to keep them to their promise to act normal. So far it was an epic fail, and only minutes in. So much for something not in the middle ground.
No, I can do this. It’s perfect really. Keep it business as usual.
Although the ache in his chest warned him otherwise, no matter how hard he tried to make himself believe he could let it go. Let her go, and do the job.
Lizzy started in explaining, ignoring the pangs in her chest, going over details from the last few days. Mostly, there was a big bunch of not a whole heck of a lot going down. Until today, when Grayson finally started talking.
Charlie tried very, very hard, not to growl or vocalize his displeasure over Grayson and some of what he’d said. Lizzy, as promised, was brutally honest. It took every ounce of control he could muster. And not just because it was so obvious the vampire was staking a claim on Lizzy, but that this entire confrontation had taken a toll on her. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.
This was something he understood.
When she finished, Charlie didn’t stop himself from invading her space and wrapping his arms around her. It wasn’t romantic, just supportive. And she understood it as such.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this.” He genuinely meant it. And released her.
She tried her darndest not to roll her eyes and smack him for once again crossing that line into accidentally showing how much romance he was capable of. He was concerned, and sympathetic, and offering support, even if it meant he lost her to Grayson; it was impossible to get angry with him. Charlie being the nice guy was killing her. This would almost be easier if he’d just get angry.
He was fighting for her, in his own Charlie way though. He just wasn’t aware of it.
“So what are your thoughts about all Grayson told you, Lizzy? Do you believe all he said?”
“I am... no less confused at this moment than before. But yes, I do believe him. I can say with absolute certainty he would not lie to me. I have to admit though, I’m wondering if I need to remove myself from this situation entirely. The outcome, after lifting the curse, at the least. I do not believe I can do this without being biased in my opinions. He is not the same as he was, but in my mind the past and present are getting muddy.” Her gaze explained silently, it doesn’t mean I’ve chosen him, I’m just confused, and the lines are getting blurrier.
Charlie sighed, hurting on her behalf. Also filled with pride that one, she’d even consider removing herself an option, which meant she trusted the rest of them to do the right thing. And that above all else, she would step aside if it meant it was not the right thing to be involved. Just as he’d suspected. And didn’t it just make him fall in love with her a little more. He tried hard not to let it show. He wanted Lizzy to have her space, and freedom be herself and get through this. And be open with him, even if it hurt a little, or a lot. Whatever the outcome.
“Any idea how to break this curse? He seems to think you, and only you, can.”
“Honestly, Charlie, I have no clue. Not a single, worthy idea. It makes sense that it has to be me. This witch, Charlotte, was eerily prepared for this outcome. Like she knew every move we’d make before it happened. Like she saw the future. In some ways, almost like she somehow planned our future.” Lizzy hesitated for a minute. “Something about all of this isn’t sitting with me well.”
“You’re worried by breaking the curse, something else will happen.” He stated it, again, reading her too easily.
“I’ve run through a hundred scenarios in my brain and I can’t imagine, even if Charlotte was gifted with such foresight, she’d be able to conjure some other terrible thing from beyond the grave. It has to end with the breaking of this curse. But I have my doubts, Charlie. Seeing the lengths she’s gone, understanding everything she’s done so far.”
“It gives reason to doubt. We’d not be doing our jobs if we didn’t question.”
And frighteningly so, it brought Nina’s final warning to light. But he didn’t want to overwhelm Lizzy with even more possible bad news so he kept it to himself. He’d tell her once she’d had the chance to rest.
“It feels like I’m missing something. I hate that I can’t figure it out.”
The thought of some other horrific thing happening was bad enough; but the idea it might happen to Lizzy made that ache in Charlie’s chest deepen a little more. He reached out and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“You are only one woman, Lizzy. A remarkable one,” he grinned tightly, “but this isn’t all on you. We’re all here to help figure this out. And
we will. Grayson will get a fair trial, I promise.”
How hard that must have been for Charlie to say. Lizzy nodded, grateful. But frustrated too. It was killing her, this feeling that she was missing something.
“You’re not going to be less hard on yourself? Are you?” Charlie questioned, wearing a smirk.
“Are you?” she threw back at him.
“My brain does not seem to be wired for taking it easy.”
“Our brains must have had the same maker,” she joked flatly. “Oh, and um, you should also be aware, Charlie, just as Charlotte made it so Grayson could not return to the Isle until the banishment curse was broken, she’s now made it so he cannot leave the Isle. He is stuck here, along with the curse.”
“She really did plan for everything. Who is this witch? I can’t believe she holds the name Howard.” He stared at Lizzy who was suddenly far away in her mind somewhere. He reached up and stroked her cheek to bring her back. “This isn’t your fault. You had every right to want your life back. You coming back did not cause this. This is all on Charlotte.”
Damn the man! For seeing right through her again. Like their brains worked on the same wavelength. Without realizing it, she’d leaned into his caress. And before her brain fired off the warning, don’t do it, her lips found his. So natural. So perfect.
Why couldn’t the past she’d let go of, stay in the past?
Charlie stiffened, but caved just as fast. The taste of her so instantly intoxicating.
His hand moved to the back of her head, raking up through her hair. The other snaked possessively around her waist and without protest, their bodies slammed together. Lizzy’s hands tensed, gripping at his shoulders in a gesture of, I have to stop. He did what she could not, and split himself away, the agony of doing so on his breath.
Lizzy looked like she was having a serious inner meltdown.
“Sorry.” He’d promised her space and was already breaking this promise.
“No, Charlie. I’m sorry. That was not a fair move at all. And totally on me.”
“Even so, I’d never give that kiss back. Not for the entire world.”