His brows crashed together. She wondered if he always looked this stern or if he could be soft. She imagined those lips, parted and waiting for affection. Would his hands be soft and patient or rough and demanding?
Nellie shook herself and tore her eyes from him. Her mind wandered into dangerous places.
“Dragons hunt witches,” she said. “More than one of my ancestors have been burned by dragons. My own mother…I don’t know what happened, but she warned me about dragons and then vanished.”
“Well, I feel like a total fucking ass now.”
She startled. Gavin gripped the deck railing. His knuckles whitened for a second before blood rushed back in. Though she knew she should have scurried away from him, she couldn’t leave him alone. She wanted to soothe the tension rippling through him, so he might be able to breathe again.
Oh, she was a total fool. All her talk of staying away from dragons, and she kept having the most wayward thoughts about the dangerous one. Gavin, of all people. She’d barely stopped him the night of the fire. His will had almost been too much to handle. The spell she’d thrown over him had torn like tissue paper. It’d taken almost everything she had to put him to sleep.
That was when she knew she couldn’t get close to him, no matter what. He would never be safe to be around. No amount of magic would protect her from him forever, which became very obvious now.
She sighed and shuffled her feet. “You’re not the dickhead I thought you’d be.”
He laughed bitterly, barely more than a huff of breath.
She scooped a chunk of avocado onto a chip and shoved it into her mouth, unable to deny her hunger any longer. Swallowing, she said, “But you’re still the most frightening man I have ever met.”
His knuckles whitened on the railing again. “I understand.”
She expected rage, indignation, anything other than the sorrowful resignation that seemed to drag him toward the ground. Nellie opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it and ate another chip.
“Can we agree on a truce, maybe?”
Nellie wanted to flat out say no. Her tongue betrayed her and said, “I’m listening.”
“No more using your magic to hide from me,” he said.
She barked in his face. “That’s a pretty one-sided truce.”
He stood straight. “You didn’t let me finish.”
Nellie bit her tongue. Her cheeks warmed. Though she should have hightailed it out of there, she stuck around and gave Gavin time to finish what he wanted to say.
“You should come to the cabin more often. Hang out with your friends. I don’t want you to feel like you have to leave them just because of me. And, maybe, if you stick around long enough, you’ll be able to see more of me.” He pinned her with that hazel gaze.
She waited for his beast to illuminate his eyes, but the light never came. He looked at her as a man and not a monster. The sight of him stole her breath. She’d never looked into the eyes of a sexier man before.
Not that he wanted her. She wanted to throw the plate over the edge of the railing. Men wanted her because they thought fat girls were willing to do more. The expectations were wild, and she never quite lived up to them. Gavin was the kind of gorgeous who could have the pick of anyone he wanted. She couldn’t deny how damn attractive he was, even though he was a dragon.
She could tell he was about to ask her something when he tilted his head. She paused and looked out at the road leading toward the cabin. A truck chugged toward them.
“Expecting more visitors?” she asked.
“No.”
* * *
Gavin had been getting somewhere with Nellie. He’d extended an olive branch and thought she would accept it until he heard the truck. Before heading toward the front of the house, Gavin told Nellie to finish her food. He didn’t understand why she would deny herself if she was hungry, but he didn’t have time to get to the bottom of the issue.
Zander hadn’t made an appearance since Ford bit the old man’s hand off, but Gavin had known that wouldn’t last forever. His hands fisted in his pockets, Gavin stood in the driveway and prepared himself to keep his father from interrupting anyone inside. Zander couldn’t keep coming around to make empty threats and hostile demands.
The truck came to a stop in the circular driveway, and the passenger door flew open. Gavin’s stomach hit the asphalt. The click of her shoes echoed like a rattlesnake’s warning. Her scent filled the air, sharp and expensive. His eyes watered.
He hadn’t seen Tiffany since she walked out on him.
Gavin spared the driver a glance. Tyler worked for Zander, but Gavin had never known the man to be unreasonable. If anything, Gavin felt a small bit of relief knowing that Tyler had come along.
The door behind Gavin opened. He spared a glance back, and his heart leapt into his throat. He stared at Nellie in disbelief. She came to stand beside him, though she kept her distance.
“Who’s that?” Nellie asked. Did she know her nose was wrinkled? That she looked disgusted?
Gavin wanted to laugh, but Tiffany’s voice rattled him.
“Darling!” she crooned. She approached, her arms thrown wide like she would embrace him.
Gavin stiffened. This was her fault. She’d led him on, let him believe that what he felt could be nothing other than the mate bond, then left him for a human man because he made her feel safer. His love for her used to run deep. Now, the sight of her turned him inside out.
“Darling?” Nellie asked under her breath.
Gavin didn’t have the time to answer. Tiffany grabbed him by the front of his shirt and tried to pull him into a kiss. He turned his head at the last second, giving her a cheek of beard growth. She recoiled and pouted, but he wasn’t about to give in to her.
“What are you doing here?” he snarled.
Tiffany flinched and jerked away from him. Guilt lanced through his gut and made him sigh. She’d left because she feared him. She’d told him that she could never trust him not to hurt her because he had the ability to. While that made little sense to Gavin, her fear had seemed genuine and had broken his heart.
“We need to talk,” Tiffany said while she held the front of his shirt.
Gavin couldn’t escape her. Guilt held him in place. He couldn’t pry her hand off him or push her away without scaring her. If she broke down and started to cry…he didn’t know what he’d do.
“Your father explained some things to me,” Tiffany said. She kept her voice small and plaintive.
Gavin had lived with her long enough to know she didn’t always sound like that.
“I want to give us another try. We’re mates, right? We can make this work so long as you come home.” Tiffany looked up at him, her long lashes fluttering over her dry eyes.
Unable to push her away, Gavin debated slithering out of his shirt and leaving it in her hands. He didn’t want her anymore, but a part of him wanted to make things right. He thought he’d done her wrong, somehow, and that he’d never be able to move on if he didn’t fix it.
Once upon a time, her smile had meant everything to him. He’d done everything in his power to make her happy. For a short while, it’d worked. Tiffany had been the happiest woman he knew. He’d been happy, too.
Nellie stepped between them. She yanked Tiffany’s hand away from his shirt. Tiffany gasped and cradled her wrist, like it was broken. Tears welled in the corners of her eyes.
“Oh, calm down. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m not a shifter. Stop acting like I hurt you.” Nellie put her hands on her hips.
Had she just come to his aid? Why? She feared him even more than Tiffany. Nellie’s family had been hurt by dragons. She had every reason to abandon him, and yet she’d gotten Tiffany to take a step back.
Tiffany looked Nellie up and down. Derision sharpened her wry grin. “So, this is who you’ve settled for? I guess she can keep you warm at night considering how big she is.”
Gavin blinked. Red rage colored his vision. Nellie’s ab
andoned plate made a lot more sense now.
“I am not sleeping with Nellie, but I want her more than I’ve ever wanted you.” The words poured out of him before he could stop to think about what he was saying.
Tiffany unhinged him. He’d forgotten how she got under his skin and needled him where it hurt until he said things that he regretted. It was all too easy to remember the good times, to hold them tight while the bad things sat in shadow.
Tears slid down Tiffany’s cheeks. “I came all this way, into the wilderness to make up with you! How dare you treat me like this?”
Tyler rolled his eyes. Nellie backed away from the situation. Gavin should have taken Tiffany into his arms and let her cry all over his shirt. A good man would have consoled her, but he guessed he wasn’t a good man. He couldn’t tell if she deserved better or if they were meant for each other.
As the minutes slid by, Tiffany’s tears slowly subsided. She sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue from her purse. After tucking it away, she asked, “Can we talk about this another time? As your mate, I’ll never be able to love anyone else the way I love you. Neither will you.”
Her final words stabbed him in the heart. He fought to keep his gaze on her, even though he wanted nothing more than to see Nellie’s face. His beast thrashed inside him. It’s demands got muddled in its wrath. He couldn’t tell what the creature wanted, which made it a little easier to ignore it.
Tiffany gasped. “Your eyes…”
He clenched his jaw. The beast must have been too close to the surface. She’d always hated evidence of what he was. The creature was too much a part of him to hide. He couldn’t keep it locked away or on a leash for his beast’s will was too strong to be contained for long.
“Another time,” Gavin agreed.
He would have to steal Erik’s sunglasses next time.
Voices reached them, spilling out of the door, out the windows. Gavin’s clan had realized they had company and come to check on him. He appreciated their concern but wished they hadn’t heard any of what just went down. If he and Tiffany really were going to patch up their relationship, he’d like to do it in secret.
Like she said, if she was his mate, then no one else would ever love him.
His breath stuck in his throat. Choking, he turned away from her only to face Nellie. She stared up at him, lips ever so slightly parted. His heart wrenched, amplifying his pain. She wouldn’t be able to love him, not like he wanted her to. Nellie’s fear would always keep her an arm’s length away.
That was the life he was doomed to live. Those he cared about most would fear him until the day he died. His father had complained about the same life, and Gavin had thought he could break the cycle. His hubris had landed him in this tangled mess, with a human mate that hated what he was and a witch he couldn’t stop thinking about.
“Time to go, miss,” Tyler whispered to Tiffany.
Gavin faced his clan and waited for the sounds of Tiffany’s departure. Casey’s expression had become grim. Dillon’s countenance was hard to read, but Isabella showed enough concern for the both of them. To know that they cared warmed him a bit, but knowing they would never approve of him working things out with Tiffany cancelled it.
She was his mate, his one and only chance.
Right?
Nellie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the truck’s taillights as it disappeared. He’d embarrassed himself in front of her, after she’d shown him a bit of kindness.
“I’m sorry for what Tiffany said about you,” he said.
She jerked and looked away. “It’s fine. Not the first time I’ve heard that.”
Gavin started to say something, but Nellie spun around and disappeared inside. He clenched his fists at his side. He wanted to go after her, to stop her, and tell her that what Tiffany had said was unforgivable. How could he do that when it was obvious he was going to go back to Tiffany?
He was, wasn’t he?
He ran his hands over his face. “At this point, I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone.”
Her words had reminded him of their bond, and his gut reaction had been to grasp for it all over again. Yet, now that she’d left, he didn’t understand why he wanted to hold onto it so badly. Surely, it would be better to let her go her own way. He didn’t know if he could give her the love she clearly wanted.
“I don’t like her,” Isabella said. She shook her head disapprovingly and followed Nellie’s steps.
Gavin cringed. If Isabella didn’t like someone, maybe that was a sign.
Torn between the woman he knew and the one he wanted to know, Gavin couldn’t move. He should have disappeared into the mountain wilderness and given his beast reign so he could forget his human side for a little while. Dillon could come out and gather him later.
“Are you serious about this?” Casey asked after everyone else had left.
“What am I supposed to do?” Gavin asked, his voice as empty as he felt.
Casey snorted. “You could tell her no, man. We both know this is your father’s attempt to screw with you. He just wants to throw you off your game before he strikes.”
“Then Ford can kill him while I suffer in the hole I dug for myself.”
“Don’t put that kind of pressure on the new guy. He might have won the last fight, but that doesn’t mean he can defeat your father. You’re the only one here with the strength to challenge Zander, and you know it.”
Gavin bared his teeth. Casey was right, though. Zander and Gavin shared blood. Everything that made Zander powerful had been passed down to Gavin. What he couldn’t inherit genetically, he’d been trained in. Gavin had been bred to become a clan leader, and a clan leader protected his flock from any and all threats.
He couldn’t sit on the sidelines and let his clan do all the work. He needed to take care of Tiffany and get things figured out before his father descended upon them. The end of this war would come sooner rather than later, and Gavin needed to make sure his clan came out of this in one piece.
His own survival wasn’t as important.
68
Inside, Nellie sought someplace to be alone. The living room and kitchen were far too open. There were too many prying eyes all around. She passed them all until she reached the laundry room. Strange as it was, the little room gave her space to breathe.
Away from prying eyes, Nellie watched her hands tremble. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to steady herself, but that wasn’t enough. Not when she felt like she was spinning out of control. Without magic, she didn’t know who she was. She never expected to find herself in this cabin.
Oh, and she’d certainly never expected to come to Gavin’s defense. She’d surprised herself. When that woman had touched Gavin, Nellie lost her mind. She’d moved without thinking. Then the woman had acted like Nellie had the strength of a dragon. Those crocodile tears meant nothing to Nellie. She knew that woman was out to play with Gavin.
Why did Nellie care so much, though? Why was she so damn angry over a woman she’d never met before? Clearly, Tiffany and Gavin had a history. Nellie shouldn’t have cared. Tiffany shouldn’t be on Nellie’s mind anymore.
“Ugh!” Nellie cried out.
“You’re telling me,” a gruff voice said.
Nellie spun. Gavin leaned against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest so that his biceps bulged. His sleeves could barely contain them. A chiseled man like that belonged with pretty Tiffany. Not with Nellie.
He pushed off the doorjamb. “Listen, since Tyler saw you here with us, and you don’t have access to your magic, you should spend the night here. I don’t want you alone. The cabin is safe. There’s always someone on watch now. And you won’t have to worry about me because I’m usually the one on watch.”
Nellie wanted to argue, but the lack of heat around Gavin caught her off guard. This man usually seared the very air around him. Now, he looked like someone had plunged him into the arctic waters. He refused to look her in the eye and wouldn�
�t come any closer.
“Tiffany doesn’t make you very happy,” Nellie said.
He brought his gaze up. “Does that matter?”
Nellie balked. “Shouldn’t it? I mean, if you’re going to commit the rest of your life to someone, you might want to make sure they make you happy.”
He sighed and fell back against the doorjamb, like the weight of the world kept slapping him back down. “Mate bonds are undeniable. I don’t get to choose my mate.”
“That sounds like some bullshit to me. Even if you’re right, when I get my magic back, I’ll help you break the bond. I know we aren’t even friends, but I can’t stand to watch her hurt you like this.”
His brows rose. Then, his lips twisted to the side. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Fuck possible. Bending the rules of fate is what a witch does best.”
Why was she campaigning for this? A burning desire in her chest roared with indignation. She told herself it was because she didn’t want to see anyone go through another bad relationship. She’d amassed so much guilt sitting on the sidelines while Evangeline and Isabella suffered.
Gavin meant nothing to her, but maybe she could do the right thing this time and keep him from having to hurt for the rest of his life. She caught him grinning at her. It might have been the first time she’d ever witnessed him smiling.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, taken aback.
He shrugged, but that grin still brightened his usually terrifying face. He seemed…almost likeable now. Almost.
“I didn’t expect you to rally behind me like this. It’s endearing as hell.” Gavin bit his lower lip.
Her core clenched. She scowled at her body’s reaction.
“I’m not rallying. You’re not my friend. You’re nothing to me.”
He raised one brow, essentially posing a silent question. Nellie bit back her long-suffering sigh and rolled her eyes instead.
The tension rolled back into the room as he straightened and took a step back. His grin vanished. All hints of the playfulness from before disappeared, too. Nellie knew her words must have hurt, but she couldn’t take them back now. She needed this space to remain between them. If she let her guard down, it could lead to her demise.
Rogue Dragons Series: Box Set Books 1-5 Page 56