Not all was as it seemed with dragons.
“Like I said, you’re welcome to stay here for the night. Take my room again. It has the most privacy.” Gavin turned his back to her.
Nellie should have called out and apologized, but she let Gavin retreat without uttering a single word. She didn’t like the feeling in the pit of her stomach. The sensation that she was in the wrong wouldn’t leave her alone. It nagged at her as she made her way out of the laundry room and back toward the kitchen.
The stairs leading back up to Gavin’s suite caught her attention. They called out to her, but Nellie remained firm. She went to Evangeline and asked for a ride home. Alone, Nellie could attempt to access her magic again. She needed to know for sure if she was simply exhausted or if the problem was more than it seemed.
Evangeline obliged. They rode into town, silent. Nellie appreciated that her friend wasn’t digging for more information about Gavin, but the silence was killing her.
“Oh my god, just say something,” Nellie snapped.
Evangeline laughed. The wind from the open window played with her pastel hair. She threw a sidelong glance at Nellie. There was no playfulness in it, but a kind of derision Nellie had never seen before.
“What am I supposed to say when I know you hate me now?”
“What?” Nellie’s heartrate quickened. “I don’t hate you!”
Evangeline pursed her lips and gave her a knowing look. “I heard your panic attack outside the shop yesterday. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make it worse. You don’t like what I’ve become, and I’m having a hard time coming to terms with that. I thought you would trust me.”
Nellie stiffened. “I do trust you. It’s the others that I can’t trust.”
“You mean my mate?”
“You’ve loved some assholes in your time,” Nellie pointed out.
Evangeline’s jaw tightened. Nellie turned her attention out the nearby window. She grew tired of trying to protect herself all the time and all the conflict that her efforts brought up. Evangeline had been supportive when the dragon men first appeared, but as Evangeline became more and more entrenched in their family, Nellie felt her support fading.
“You know what happened,” Nellie said softly. “You know why I’m afraid.”
Evangeline sighed. She flicked the blinker. “Yeah. I know, but I wish you could trust me.”
This could be the end of their relationship. Nellie hated the thought, but she didn’t want to turn a blind eye to the possibility and then have it sneak up on her. If she kept pushing Evangeline away, Nellie would have to pack her things and leave town forever. She wouldn’t be able to live under these dragons.
They stopped outside Nellie’s house. The little Victorian had belonged to her mother. Nellie had inherited it when she turned eighteen. Evangeline had been the one to help her repaint the exterior. Evangeline had painted the murals in the halls. Evangeline had helped her refinish the ancient bathrooms.
With her hand on the door handle, Nellie said, “I’ll do my best for you.”
Evangeline practically launched herself over the console to hug Nellie. She pressed her cheek to Nellie’s and thanked her. Soon, their embrace devolved into laughter. The air around them seemed clearer, lighter even.
Nellie got out and dug her keys from the bottom of her purse. A shadow covered her and made her pause. She glanced up at the sky, expecting to see the silhouette of a dragon. Instead of Gavin, she found a few fluffy clouds drifting overhead.
What had her life become? Surrounded by dragons, without her magic, Nellie wondered what she’d done wrong to deserve this. She had to come to terms with Evangeline and her mate, or else she would lose her best friend. Isabella had far more patience and would give Nellie the time to trust Dillon, but Nellie would eventually have to make friends with a dragon man to stay in Isabella’s life.
As long as she got her magic back, Nellie could handle this. She needed a way to protect herself. Without her magic, she felt like a sitting duck. Gavin and his enemies could come along and pluck her out of her home at any moment.
Though, she wasn’t as scared of Gavin anymore. He was still a threat, but he seemed to be content with playing some long-term game with her. He let her walk out of his cabin today. She suspected that he wanted to win her over, so she would happily work with him. Like that would ever happen.
Nellie immediately started setting out the tools for a ritual. She filled a black bowl with water. The inky darkness would act as a gateway to show her what was going on inside herself. It should reveal what was keeping her from accessing her magic. At least, that was what she hoped.
She lit a few candles and closed the curtains so only the firelight glinted on the water’s surface. Her gaze slowly unfocused until the candlelight blurred into indistinguishable shapes. If she did this right, the shapes should refocus into an image or scene that would give her some insight.
Yet, nothing happened. Silence droned in her ears, interrupted only by the sporadic pop of the burning candle wicks. Minute by minute, her stomach filled with dread until she felt bile burning the back of her throat.
Nellie shoved away from the table. The water in the bowl sloshed, and the candles threatened to tip. As they wobbled back into place, Nellie blew them out and snatched up the bowl of water. She refused to believe that she would spend the rest of her life without her magic.
She had nothing against being human. Some of the best people in her life had been human. It was the fact that she didn’t want to live a life knowing that she was missing a part of herself. That would be like taking the pencil out of Evangeline’s hands and telling her she could never draw again.
Nellie wanted to howl, but her neighbors already thought she was a weirdo. They would only file more complaints against her, so she grabbed a pre-made tub of pasta salad from the fridge, nabbed a fork from the drawer, and trudged upstairs.
Time revealed to her that there were not enough carbs or trashy Netflix shows to ease her pain, though. And her girlfriends were busy with their mates. Nellie briefly considered texting Gavin, but she didn’t have his number. Which was absolutely for the best, she decided after putting her phone away.
She didn’t need more of him in her life.
Absolutely not.
* * *
“Get down from there,” Dillon grumbled.
Gavin pretended not to hear his clanmate. The feat was surprisingly easy considering that Gavin was in his dragon form. The dragon didn’t have the best range of expression and could hold a stone-cold face for ages.
The moment Nellie left the cabin, Gavin lost the fight to his beast. It battered him from the inside out until he unleashed it and let it fly over their mountains. Knowing that it had a roost sometimes helped calm the creature. It wanted a clan and territory to protect, as if it needed something to keep it distracted.
Surveying the territory wasn’t enough today, though. Gavin had just barely kept the dragon from heading straight for town to spy on Nellie. She needed her space, and he needed to keep his existence a secret. He could do both so long as he kept his ass away from town.
So, the beast found a small cliff to perch on like a bored cat. That way, he wouldn’t have to deal with her scent on his sheets. So long as he stayed right where he was, Gavin didn’t have to think about past relationships or future ones. He could just…breathe.
“I don’t have all night to coax your dumb ass off a cliff. Get down and come home,” Dillon snapped.
Gavin huffed through his nose. Smoke curled in the air, but Dillon wasn’t intimidated. The big man ran a lot of interference for both Gavin and Erik. Well, he did back when Erik still had issues balancing his two beasts. Now, Gavin was the only one with control problems.
“Who has you more flustered? Tiffany or Nellie?”
Gavin hated it when Dillon used his brain, because the man was whip smart and it stung. Lips curling, Gavin issued a warning growl.
“We’re going to stand by whi
chever choice you make because you’re our leader. I will tell you that the right woman makes a world of difference, though. She doesn’t have to be soft and sweet. Maybe you need the kind of girl who can put you in your place. Or a girl who can stand by your side.”
Only Gavin’s low growl broke the silence that stretched between them.
Dillon sighed. “What do I know? I’m just a thug.”
The words aimed low and hit their mark. Gavin pulled his beast back. He hissed as the creature defiantly held onto its shape. They warred over control, over the beast’s desire for a woman who would never love him back and Gavin’s bone-aching exhaustion. He wished he had rage to fuel him, but after being tossed aside by those who were supposed to love him, he had nothing but an emptiness inside him. First Tiffany, then his father.
Gavin shouldn’t have been surprised. Born from a monster, what else could Gavin become but another monster? His beast had enough rage for the both of them.
Dillon chucked a backpack up to Gavin. It held a change of clothes and a pair of slide-on sandals. He hated those things but shoved his feet into them because that was what Dillon had to offer, and Gavin wasn’t about to insult the clanmate that’d come to fetch him. Gavin didn’t think about what was on the t-shirt until he approached the truck’s window and caught his reflection.
I’m Stupid covered his chest in big, white letters. Gavin glared at Dillon through the window before noticing that Dillon’s shirt stated that he was with stupid.
“You’re all a pack of assholes,” Gavin grumbled once inside the truck.
“From all the shit I hear on a daily basis, I think you’re right.” Dillon put the truck into gear.
It lurched down the road, making all sorts of threatening sounds. Erik had found the monstrosity sitting in an old man’s lawn and immediately fell in love. For a while, Gavin had thought Erik had a death wish. Now, he knew Erik just loved broken things like himself.
What did Gavin love? He feared he wasn’t capable of it, that his father had broken him so completely that Gavin would never learn how to make someone else happy. He would always be a burden on those around him. The best he could do was keep his clanmates safe.
Yet, Gavin couldn’t help but want so much more.
69
Nellie woke to the sound of a notification on her phone. Groggy, she rolled over and slapped the nightstand for the device. Evangeline’s name hovered at the top of the screen beside an incredibly tiny image. Curiosity piqued, Nellie opened the message and found herself face to face with a dragon.
She waited for her heart to leap into her throat, but it didn’t happen. The dragon in question seemed to pout, its head positioned on the edge of a rocky cliff. Garnet colored scales glowed in the light of the sun setting behind it, letting Nellie know this photo had been taken the night before.
The caption read: Apparently someone was sad to see you go. Dillon snapped this pic last night, after I took you home.
Nellie locked her phone screen and threw the device onto the bedspread. She stared at the ceiling. Though she’d slept like the dead the night before, she didn’t feel well rested. If anything, sleep still dragged at her eyelids and beckoned her into slumber once more. She rubbed at them, hoping that would help her wake up more.
When that didn’t work, she dragged herself out of bed and trudged toward the shower. The drain refused to let water through any faster than a trickle, leaving her standing in a few inches of water by the end. After thoroughly washing and drying her feet outside of the shower, she dressed in a haze.
The black bowl still sat beside the kitchen sink. It reminded her of what she’d lost. Nellie touched the rim but knew she would end up with the same result if she tried again. A hollow scream filled her throat. Perhaps she would ask Gavin where he hung out, so she could finally scream to her heart’s content and not bother anyone.
But that would mean having to contact Gavin, and she wasn’t about to do that.
She stopped dead in her tracks outside her front door. A familiar orange Jeep idled by the curb. She scowled, ready to tell Gavin to fuck off. Her cloaking spell had kept him from acting like this, and now that it was gone, she could do nothing other than mouth off and hope it scared him away.
It wouldn’t, though. He was a dragon. Her words would never be enough when he could bench press cars.
“I have to head into work in twenty minutes,” she said after he rolled down the passenger window.
“That’s why I’m here. Get in. I got breakfast.”
Nellie couldn’t seem to stick to any of her own boundaries. She opened the passenger door and found a giant iced coffee in the cupholder and a brown paper bag of donuts on the seat. Her stomach growled greedily.
“I don’t need food,” she told him.
He fixed her with two golden eyes. “It sure as hell sounds like you do.”
She scowled at him. Her face would stick that way soon if she didn’t stop.
“I feel bad about what happened yesterday,” Gavin said while tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He wouldn’t look at her, and instead kept his gaze fixed on his own fingers. “First with the kidnapping and then with Tiffany. There were so many things I could have done better.”
“Cut yourself some slack,” she said while grabbing the donut bag so she could sit down. “You did your best.”
“My best isn’t enough.”
“You’re treading dangerous waters right now. Are you sure you want to start a heavy conversation like that at…” she checked the time on her phone, “eight in the morning?”
He shook his head and finally looked at her. His eyes still hadn’t gone back to their natural hazel. She knew from Evangeline that it meant his beast was close to the surface, but Nellie wasn’t as scared as she thought she would be. Instead, a bit of pity trickled through her, making her want to reach across the Jeep to cup his cheek.
Nellie turned her attention to the bag in her lap, instead. A cloud of sweet, yeasted scent greeted her. Three donuts rested in its dark interior.
“You look like you had a rough night. You deserve them,” Gavin said.
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you telling me I’m not pretty?”
He guffawed, those golden eyes sliding toward her again. “You’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever met in my life. You can’t say a damn thing to change my mind.”
Her mind went completely blank. She blinked, hoping that might reset her. It did nothing. She stared at Gavin and waited for the gears in her brain to start turning again.
“I meant what I said yesterday.” Gavin put the Jeep in drive, his big hands on the gearshift.
Nellie tilted her head, trying to think back. Her cheeks flushed with warmth when she realized what he was talking about. Gavin had said that he wanted to get into her pants but couldn’t.
“Oh,” was all she could manage.
“I like the white streak by the way. It makes you look like a vigilante, like you might strike me down for being an asshole. When you get your magic back, I don’t want you burning yourself out like that again, though. Promise me you won’t take hiding from me too far?”
Her cheeks burned. “You’d have to promise not to show up on my doorstep unannounced.”
“Even if I bring coffee and donuts?” He flashed a mind-melting grin.
“Keep doing that and I’ll get even fatter.” She desperately wanted a donut but didn’t dare eat one in front of Gavin.
“Woman, you could be shaped like Godzilla and I’d still risk everything for you.”
“You’re really bad at flirting,” Nellie said with a laugh.
He cringed. “Was that a bad thing to say?”
“So…wait. You like me? Is that why you’ve been following me around everywhere and sending me all those weird gifts?” Her mind, which had been going a hundred miles an hour to catch up, had just hit a traffic jam.
Her fear had clouded her perception of everything that’d been happening. She never once stopped to think that m
aybe Gavin had a crush and was honestly horrible at letting her know. That did little to abate her fear, though. He could find her alluring and still want to keep her as a tool. His confession couldn’t erase the tension between witches and dragons.
The drive to the tattoo shop was short. The familiar windows appeared sooner than she’d thought. As soon as he came to a full stop, she unlocked her door and lurched out of the car. He called after her, but she didn’t wait for him.
She shouldn’t like him back. She shouldn’t have noticed the shape of his hands or the cut of his biceps. Of all people, Gavin was off limits. She couldn’t indulge in her feelings. Not even when he made bad passes at her and made her laugh.
Evangeline’s head snapped up as Nellie burst through the door. Her brow immediately furrowed, and she started to say something, then the bell over the door chimed again.
“You can run away from me,” Gavin said. He set her forgotten coffee and donuts onto the counter. “Don’t deny yourself free food, though.”
Without asking for more, Gavin turned and left. Nellie stood, stunned, and watched the orange Jeep drive away. He didn’t ask for her number or demand anything from her. He just wanted to make sure she ate something.
“What an ass,” Nellie blurted out.
Evangeline broke into laughter. Daphne poked her head out from the back to figure out what was so funny.
“Gavin’s being nice to Nellie, and she doesn’t like it, so she called him an asshole,” Evangeline explained.
Nellie wanted to threaten to hex her friend, but even the empty threat felt wrong when Nellie had nothing to back it up with. She didn’t want Evangeline to find out that Nellie no longer had magic. Her best friend would either pity her or throw everything she had into helping Nellie reclaim it. Nellie didn’t want Evangeline to waste her time on either.
Rogue Dragons Series: Box Set Books 1-5 Page 57