by T M Caruana
I was happy to be myself again, but had forgotten how many painful memories I also wore. The worlds could be cruel, though I had done my best to create only goodness. There would always be opposites: kindness and evil, greed and charity, matter and antimatter. People on Teli were the most impressionable to the sins. For this reason I wanted to ensure that the people of Teli had no knowledge of the other worlds. Things they didn’t have knowledge of, scared them. They couldn’t just have faith; they had to investigate the unexplained until they found concrete evidence. It became like an obsession for some, like for Isaac. How could I tell them about everything that was in the other worlds and then say that they weren’t allowed to go there to see it with their own eyes? Moreover, I couldn’t stay long enough in each world to educate, given that it could destroy us all, something that had been proven in the past twenty-nine years.
I had wandered off with my thoughts again. I cleared my throat still with a firm grip on the power stones that enabled energy to flow through my body; my own unique source of power, and continued.
“Archangels are responsible for the seasons, winds, days of the week and hours of the day.”
I now wished I could go twice as fast telling my story to be able to begin my energy healing work.
“I won’t call them tell-tales since I have been refraining from doing so, but they are my messengers, and monitor and report on everything that goes on in the seven worlds.”
Before I could continue Michael interrupted with a question.
“What about angels travelling between worlds without power stones?”
His voice shot out the words a little too angrily.
“I myself can travel with one or all of the power stones without injury, which means that, after I have travelled around the worlds to give them energy, I can delegate my stones to the angels to perform their duties. They then give them back after a month, so that I can perform my duties to the worlds once again,” I explained without telling them about the ‘black holes’.
I smiled at Michael as his interest indicated that he hadn’t become bored with my story. He had of course only seen me in the fortress of Medi the times I had visited King Menos at the same time as he had an appointment with Michael to review his health. My explanation seemed to have satisfied him and his body relaxed in his chair to wait for the next bit of the story.
“The last group of angels are the guardian angels or ‘Angels’. These protect and guide an assigned individual. It’s them who have the most difficult task of all of us, to identify and teach the people of Teli what is right or wrong.”
19
DEFEND LIFE’S EXISTENCE
The fireball jumped from one hand to the other without burning me. My concerns that the army from Bomi would already have wriggled their way past the guards like a snake on an unwitting prey, twisted insidiously in my stomach. The war could have already begun or even already be over before I had the time to reach Pixi. Who had won? Who had been injured or was even dead?
The anxiety of not knowing was excruciating. Was the resistance from Pixi stronger than the attack of the soldiers from Bomi? The people of Pixi had both speed and strength. Additionally, there was Samuel who could see if the threat was approaching the city. If Tarus hadn’t lost his mind over my absence, they had the strength of a mighty fire-breathing dragon. Hopefully he hadn’t used his anger to bring out the tiger in him. I couldn’t imagine a life without his human guise, although any form was better than none at all. So that left the opponents at a disadvantage, I would assume. What did they bring? Big, strong men, who could handle weapons and throw fire, but that was all. I felt frustrated that I hadn’t gained enough strength to be able to use my powers across worlds.
A hard, but friendly, nudge threw me off balance as I sat leaning against a rock on the promenade around the palace. The purpose of the nudge from Lance’s sugar white snout was obvious. If he could talk, and he could in a sense to me because I knew what he wanted, he would say that he was happy to see me. He had been waiting for his rider too long and he wanted to fulfil his purpose in the world. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he had me comfortably seated on his back. Something I was happy to do to rid all the troubling thoughts in my mind.
The green trees quickly rushed past me whilst the wind tore my hair and we were already many miles outside the palace premises. Lance’s speed made my eyes water and my throat dry as I sat steadily on his back with my hands tightly gripped around his long white mane. We were like one, as if his legs were my own legs. I could feel his composure in the same way that he felt my concerns. He wouldn’t stop running, not until I too was calm. I could relax; abandon myself to him. I could embrace the feeling of the light cool air against my cheeks and inhale the smell of overripe berries and fruits. I watched the beautiful multi-coloured leaves whirl in the wind as we passed, before they fell to the ground. My key was swaying around my neck, bobbing with the rhythm of hooves against the overgrown grass. I was strong now. I could feel the energies rushing to me and I noticed my chakra’s colour growing brighter around my body. The purple colour had almost come back. It symbolised the power to see the future visions that I was still missing.
We rode along the edge of a large, oval lake where my reflection was mirrored in the still water. My light blonde, hair could hardly be distinguished from the white angel-like long dress I wore. The smooth skin, the shapely body and the strong blue-purple eyes contrasting to my rosy pink lips; it was me. Beauty had been denied me in the last twenty-nine years and I was glad that my glory was restored.
I suddenly had the strongest desire to tell Vic who I was and all my stories, all that I had experienced in the last months. To show him how beautiful I really was. I wondered if he would notice any difference. In his eyes, I had probably always been his cousin Susy; neither beautiful nor ugly. Family members always had that marvellous bond where superficialities didn’t affect them. The feelings we had for our loved ones were what determined their beauty; it was the deepest feeling of love…an honest love without being deceived by their eyes. But now I was well aware that he wasn’t really my cousin. He had shared the same lie as Isaac. My memories of Vic made me sad and made tears swell into a constant flow dripping backwards in the wind. Would I ever see him again or was he like so much else, only memories? Memories that I was glad to have had, but which then disappeared and created as many deep wounds? Memories that I would never wish away despite the sorrow they caused. They were a part of what I was and had become. It bothered me that I didn’t know whose side he was on. He had always been kind and I feared he was working for Isaac.
I clutched the key tightly in my hand and made another attempt to shake off my worrying thoughts. I didn’t want to ride around in the wild terrain beyond the twelve hours I still had to wait before I could go to the other worlds in order to provide them with life energy. I didn’t have to wait long as Lance’s tall, spiral horn stopped shining at that moment, indicating that he had completed my mental healing. Now it was time!
It hadn’t been twelve hours, but I was stronger than I’d ever been and all the energy that was needed on Angi had returned. I was invincible; the creator of life in the seven worlds. I was ready to right the energy balance of the worlds, rule life into infinity, generation after generation, make the greenery grow, air flow and give people the meaning of life.
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After having gone to the other worlds to recharge their energies, I returned on the seventh day to the palace on Angi, which surprisingly had lost its glory during my short absence. It was almost as pale as the first day I had arrived before I enriched it with my energies. On the days I had been away, I hadn’t spoken, eaten, or slept and unused to riding, the inside of my thighs were sore. My last stop before returning had been Sabi from which Luke had accompanied me back to Angi. It was the first chance he had had to get back to the same world as Tailja, and I was missing Tarus too much to be able to deny love to anyone else. I knew the others weren’t going to like this, but
we also needed as many men as possible to fight the battle on Pixi.
Leo wasn’t the first person I had wanted to see upon my return, but he greeted me as always by kneeling.
“Your Highness, you if anyone should know how frustrating it feels to be helpless without powers. You could at least have taken us to Pixi before you went off,” Leo muttered without daring to lift his gaze above ground height.
It wasn’t like him to complain for his own sake. His politeness and good intentions toward others had always kept him proud, with his back straight and glory in his eyes. What was wrong? His emotions were hard to read, almost suspiciously difficult. Had he cast a spell over himself to protect them? His emotions, that suddenly turned from glorious to sad, from pride to guilt and from secure to doubtful were like a skilful game to avoid having strangers come close to him. Could he manoeuvre away from my powers on purpose? How much more knowledge did he have that I wasn’t aware of?
“Everything has its time,” I muttered back, which didn’t give him much scope for protests against my actions.
I tried to be patient with all my creations, but I knew I wasn’t as patient as I used to be. He should know better, knowing that I have a greater meaning in the great circle of life than his small dislikes. Lance stamped around the place as impatiently as I felt. He calmed down when he felt my hand stroking the side of his neck.
Leo was still silent and with his body facing the yellow roses around the pillars of the building that must have reminded him of Pallas. He seemed untouched by the apparent wind that blew his damp hair over his face as he stared at them. I wanted to say something comforting, but couldn’t choose what words could even begin to console someone who had lost his love. Just as I opened my mouth to attempt saying something, Kora came rushing from the doorway between the pillars, closely followed by Myra and Harriett with her little bundle resting in her arms.
“Susy, let’s go to Pixi so we can end this protracted mission,” Leo said, his voice was like a soldier’s, which must have been an occupational habit acquired during his posting as a guard in Atlantis.
His life for the past twenty-five years had been all duty, and he was impatient to return to his private life on Vati. He had interrupted what would have been a happy reunion and everyone was unsure who would issue the next command.
With my cold fingers I was trying to fiddle out the stones from the key to give to the others. Their magnetic energy seemed to gravitate towards the clasp where they fitted like the pieces of a puzzle. I had noticed that the way the colours were placed in the key was the reverse of what I had previously seen in pentagrams, but even so, they certainly seemed to know their proper place in the jewellery. Eventually I looked up at everyone.
“Lance and I, Michael and Harriett, Kora and the child, Myra and Leo. That makes eight people who are travelling, which means we have stones to take another six soldiers to the army on Pixi. Have you decided who will be joining us Kora?”
Even though we were no longer fighting against time to save worlds, everyone seemed to be in a hurry to end the battle and return to normality again. For that reason, I had to make quick decisions, good decisions. We weren’t safe here. Eutychia could appear any minute. Besides, I was impatient to know if Tarus was safe since I couldn’t locate his soul. I was sure Eutychia hadn’t managed to penetrate Leo’s magic that protected against her intrusion onto Pixi. It made me remember the seven forbidden spells. I knew them all, but they were so forbidden that I didn’t even want to think about them. However, I assumed that Leo’s magic was strong enough to keep the witch out. He had even been over-cautious and used the ancient method comprising the seven knots on a leather cord and the skin of a wild lion whilst he chanted seven times cursing her wickedness. To chant the words of his magic probably wouldn’t have mattered when only the seven forbidden spells required the spells to be said out loud, but Leo wasn’t taking any risks.
“I have only three volunteers: Tailja, Luke and Gabriel,” Kora said.
It was long since I had heard Kora speaking so humbly about the low number of volunteers.
“It doesn’t matter. Gather all; we’ll leave as soon as possible.”
The low number wasn’t what worried me most. It was the internal battle between Tailja and Luke. They still hadn’t talked after Luke’s mishap with Victorina. Part of me felt sympathy towards Luke, as Victorina, who was from Sabi, had lied and told him that Tailja had gone off with another man. Luke could never have known if she was speaking the truth. The hurt from the shock would make anyone believe in the story before their brain could critically analyse the likelihood of its accuracy. Victorina’s lies had conveniently drawn him into her comforting arms and forgiveness was hard for such a strong and proud woman as Tailja. It was lucky for him that we lived for so long. He might one day be forgiven before he died.
Tailja was crossing the courtyard and spotted Luke, I saw a change in her face, but she did everything possible to avoid contact. It made me smile inside. She had already forgiven him, but was still maintaining the charade to keep him in misery for a few more decades. She knew as well as I that he would never give up trying to earn her trust. Love between people from two different worlds was unusual; again I thought of Tarus.
Tailja’s angry eyes could have cut Luke’s throat, which made him keep his place next to me. It was probably my longing for Tarus that made me side with Luke. It was no wonder that Tailja had offered her help – her specialty was war. The speed of her arrows meant that they flew invisibly through the air and always hit their target, as if she controlled them with her thoughts. Additionally, she was loyal to her friend; where Kora went, there went Tailja. I had a lot to think about and was left standing adjacent to Lance whilst the others were collecting their things to prepare for the trip.
“You look worried my child,” I hardly heard the low voice from behind Lance’s majestic body.
My senses rushed in seven different directions of sadness, anxiety, joy, comfort, relief, gratitude and love. I knew that voice even if it had spoken amongst a thousand other angels. The mature smooth voice reminded me of all the difficult choices I had had to make in my duty to keep the worlds and all life circulating.
“Gabriel…”
His name was all I managed to breathe as confirmation of his presence, not knowing what else I wanted to say. Which of my feelings were strongest and how would I start the conversation?
“Tell old Gabriel what bothers you.”
He was good at playing on his older aged appearance, though he didn’t need to. I would surrender myself to him, out of friendship rather than out of respect. I could trust my life in his hands and know that it was safe, and I had done that long ago when I gave him the task of protecting my son on Teli. It was my decision to send Gabriel that had contributed to his appearance and also to his increased wisdom. We never talked about his painful fate, as my son had chosen to sacrifice himself to enhance the message of love on Teli. Gabriel had always viewed it as a failure even though I had tried many times to persuade him that mankind made their own choices and that it was these that gave character to a person. If you couldn’t accept the person’s choice, you didn’t love him. Our choice is what defines our soul and makes us free. He couldn’t argue with my reasoning, but couldn’t shake off the guilt either. His sense of responsibility for me always made me feel like a little girl in his presence, a girl who wanted to unload all her troubles.
Lance felt the same as me. There weren’t many who were allowed to come near Lance, but Gabriel could. For some strange reason, he had nothing against Tarus either. Noah, however, had had major problems with Lance, when he played little tricks on him. The chewing of his headgear and boots was a constant annoyance, as well as the continual search for weapons that Lance ran away with to hide in the woods.
I walked around Lance’s broad chest, under his neck, to give Gabriel a warm hug. I didn’t even want to begin to explain what I had been through and most of the emotions he would feel anyway. He kn
ew how grateful I was for his faithful services to me in the past: my sorrow over Noah’s death, the anxiety over his aging, the joy of seeing him, the love of our many years of friendship, how his voice always comforted me and, especially right now, the relief of seeing him. I was pleased that he, after being accused of stealing the yellow stone during my kidnapping, had been vindicated now that it had been rediscovered.
“The usual, you know,” I replied.
My voice broke involuntarily and I could feel the scratching sensation in my throat. Now wasn’t the time for self-pity or tears. I had to be the strongest of us all, a leader who would promise safety for the future after a brutal, but inevitable war. I had to show everyone that everything would result in victory, that there was nothing to be afraid of.
“I know,” he said quietly and I was certain that he understood everything I felt, hence there was no need to say more.
His lips were comforting against my forehead and I pressed my face into his chest to wipe my tears on his woollen sweater.
“Now, my child, we compose ourselves and gather courage again. I hate to see you vulnerable due to all the problems of humans, for your name’s sake.”
Gabriel was the only one who got away with referring to me below his own rank and his words were never dishonest. The only difference was that this time I noticed something I didn’t want to hear. He said the predicted words, the words of the prophecy, to be hated for your name’s sake. Now the end of all misery wasn’t far away. I had to gather myself and depart for Pixi before the worlds became extinct. It wasn’t clear which world the prophecy was about; I had always thought it was referring to Teli, as it was written there. Or was it really written there? Who was it that had made the prophecy? Gabriel looked sadly down at me and probably knew of my pain and panic, which were like needles stuck inside my chest.