by T M Caruana
“Susy, a broken man is sitting in the dining room of the palace, who belongs to our company. I think he needs a little more persuasion to…well, at least move, if he is coming with us at all.”
Gabriel was even worse than I was at handling others’ grief. He was created to give courage, not to show compassion. He hated to see people in distress and although his words were meant as a change of topic. I did actually need to comfort Michael before we left.
Michael was sitting lifelessly on a reversed chair, facing the three kingdoms. If it weren’t for the fact that his eyes had been open to see the beautiful scenery, I would have thought he was dead. His back was hunched and his head was only held up by a clenched fist. His long hair was messy after days of neglect. I sat down next to him. What could I say? What would make him come with us that wouldn’t offend him? Are you ready to leave? would be a ridiculous question. I could see that he wasn’t ready. How do you feel? I could see that the heartbreak he had gone through went beyond any word that could accurately describe it. Maybe I wouldn’t ask a question. Perhaps a statement was more in order. “I miss Katrona. She was…”
“I don’t think I can go with you,” Michael said, his voice was exhausted.
What had happened to my happy, lively and always resourceful friend? He was gone…maybe forever.
“You know I can’t let you stay here…for practical reasons…Tarus you know.”
My fear for Tarus’s security made me stammer through a subject that should be handled with care. I was afraid that I had said too much, improperly.
“Hmm…I was afraid you’d say that. You know, it’s hard to see everything now.”
“What do you mean – that it’s difficult to see, what is it that you can’t see?”
“A future,” Michael whispered softly, so low that I almost couldn’t hear his answer.
The answer confused me a bit and I was hoping he’d explain it, that I wouldn’t have to ask more stupid questions.
“I can’t see anything, or feel anything. Everything is empty…meaningless. It’s an effort to breathe, as if my heart has stopped, never to experience love or sadness again. It’s just empty, an echo in a large empty space. An empty space without time. Everything in me has stopped whilst everything in the world goes on without me.”
His empty eyes increased my despair. Poor Michael, I wouldn’t trade places with him even if I could. His loss of Katrona was paralysing. What could I say now? There was nothing to say that would help, nothing could get Katrona back and that was the only thing he wanted.
“I would at least like to have you in sight, so I can protect you, Michael. If you can’t get Katrona back, let me at least not lose Tarus and feel the same pain as you.”
It was a blow below the belt, but I didn’t know what else I could say that would get him to care enough to use his long clumsy legs. It seemed to work. He looked up at me as if he had found one single reason to survive; to stay alive for my sake. I felt guilty though for saying it. To order someone to stay alive forever, only so I could enjoy my heart’s desire. It was more ugly and more selfish than anything I could imagine. But deep within me I was hoping that time would heal his wounds and he could start enjoying life again.
“Come now, the others are waiting in the courtyard,” I whispered, stroking my hand over his wrist.
<><><>
Pixi was even darker than the first time I had seen it after my return. Even though I had recharged it no more than three days ago the world appeared to have already lost most of its energies.
Something was wrong, something was very wrong. Everything had begun to die out: the trees had lost all their leaves, the water in the river wasn’t running as fast and I heard no birdsong. This could only mean one thing: the worlds would require their own power stone to be placed constantly within their atmosphere for the world to survive. How could I make that work? I didn’t have any solutions, given that the stones weren’t strong enough without my presence.
But I couldn’t think more about it at this moment; we had no time to lose in order to gather the troops and I didn’t want to worry the others. It was too hard to hide secrets from Kora and especially from Tarus who saw right through me. Where was he anyway? I had longed for him so much and hoped that he would meet me as soon as I returned.
The wise Zonar, who had welcomed us in the cave, had looked more worried than pleased when we had arrived. He had no news about Tarus following his disappearance; no one had seen him and no one knew if he would ever come back.
Once in the castle courtyard, seven war heroes met me. They were all ready to fight for a cause not of their own, but for their society and the generations to come. I had created them from matter in the Universe and now they would be willing to die for my mistakes. Whether the reasons were out of loyalty or not didn’t matter; every man and woman would be needed to ensure that we lost as few lives as possible. Two lives had already been lost due to my stupidity and I wasn’t willing to lose more.
It surprised me a little that Samuel had succeeded in convincing Finor to fight on our side, as not many people would voluntarily give their assistance after Noah’s demolition of their city. He kept his feelings hidden, so it was difficult to say what he made of the situation, but I was glad he was here.
My eyes wandered over the warriors who awaited my leadership. When the sun shone on their shining armour I was filled with overwhelming sisterly feelings for Hunter’s unwavering generosity of love and warmth. His heart was big enough to feel sympathy for everything and everyone, but his charisma was obviously stronger with his most important companion by his side. Nina looked out of place in her dainty armour. Her soft, motherly face and her brittle body could never bring me to associate her with a battlefield. After having lived so long on Teli I felt my instincts were unbalanced. It was difficult to ignore the feeling that the sword she was holding wasn’t relative to her body weight.
Beside her stood Net, the people’s choice as king in Noah’s absence. With Simona at his side, I wasn’t sure he would regain his title as king now that Noah was…I still couldn’t bring myself to think of the word, which would complete the sentence. The people wouldn’t accept those two together on the throne. They weren’t standing close enough that they shone as soulmates, which made it difficult to determine how serious their love was. Concerns about political stability were for the people to ponder over, but I could be content with knowing that, if he chose to reign once more, he would be a good leader. In addition, Hunter told how Net had longed for Simona for years, but hadn’t chosen her before the people, so I was sure that as always ‘love conquers all’.
The seventh warrior was for me a surprise, or not so much a surprise as a wonder. The situation had quickly changed to a feeling of ‘us against them’ even when we were fighting for the same cause. Would her participation create more turmoil than help within the group? Victorina looked scarier than any warrior I had ever seen, fictional or real. The black war paint under her dark eyes would give me nightmares. Was it so that she could easily move around or was it her pride that made her choose not to wear armour? Whatever the reason, she hadn’t bothered to cover her body with the steel that would protect against a sword or spear. The tight black leather suit followed her too thin body in a way that made it either more vulnerable or more skilled. The silky straight hair was flat down her back, impractical, but it succeeded in giving the impression that she was experienced. On Pixi she would, like Samuel, have no more supernatural powers than invisibility for short periods, and to see what other people saw, which made her body more vulnerable than Hunter’s or Leo’s for example.
I turned to look at Tailja, to see if she would be able to keep her temper, which was like Tarus’s; short and furious. Clearly this indicated consequences, which I understood when Luke stopped her with soothing words some distance away from the welcoming committee, whilst the rest of us carried on, only stopping when we came to a friendly distance.
A male and female voice shouted
in harmony and no one could help but look around out of reflex, to see if danger was near.
“Samuel!”
“Harriett?”
Their bodies would have almost slammed together when they reached each other, if it hadn’t been for the child Harriett held in her arms. Samuel looked at Harriett as if she were a ghost and Harriett looked at Samuel in shock, after believing that she would never see him again. I felt how the radiance of their love lifted everyone else’s joy.
“How can you be here? I thought you…”
“No, I know, Susy told me what you thought, but it was Eutychia who kidnapped me and held me captive. She, she…sneaky…”
“Shush…shush…there, there. Yes, everything is alright now,” Samuel comforted as he stroked his hand over Harriett’s hair. “Everything will be fine.”
Samuel pulled Harriett and the child close and hugged them. They were both in shock and stunned with joy. Samuel turned his gaze to the small bundle in her arms.
“Is it? Is it mine?”
“Yes, it’s your son, Harald, after your father.”
He held out both his arms, not wanting to wait another minute to hold his child. He had been deprived of being there for his son’s birth and the first few months of his life.
If Michael had been right in his opinion that there would be no future, that everything was coming to an end, I would be happy to die after seeing the little family’s happiness. They both showed each other their love, and kisses and hugs were thrown left, right and centre. There was soon no part of Harriett’s face that hadn’t been caressed lovingly by Samuel’s hands or lips. The rest of us had become invisible spectators; in their happy world there was nobody other than the three of them.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two arms winding down over my chest, like snakes, hanging something around my neck and pulling me back close to a fiery, firm body.
“Aren’t reunions the best?” said another voice I would never fail to identify.
That voice always made me quiver.
“I love you,” he whispered quickly in my ear before I could answer him, keeping his promise to remind me of his feelings.
“Yeah, but reunions are not as good as never having to part at all,” I agreed and turned around to look into those beautiful emerald eyes that I could never get enough of.
I looked down at the object he had hung around my neck. It was Vic’s silver charm. He had probably stolen it during one of the many times he had rooted through my bag, and had kept it to have a picture of me. This must have been before he was sure if I could regain my memory of our feelings for each other. Tarus was aware that even if I got them back, we wouldn’t know if we could allow ourselves to be free from political pressure. I felt like I was home. I leaned my body closer to his, but stopped when I saw that the corners of his mouth stretched and his brows bent down in pain.
“What is it, are you still in pain?”
I was concerned about all of his bones that might still be sore. It wouldn’t have helped him either that he had, shortly after his healing, turned into both a tiger and a dragon.
“I always hurt when you look into my eyes,” he replied. “When you look at me, I swear that my heart beats a hard final blow; I can barely breathe and my own heat rises in my body till it burns me. Sometimes it feels as if my brain stays in a vacuum where only we exist and paralysis makes me lose the ability to speak,” he explained, and still looked pained.
“Hmm. You seemed to have no problem with your explanation right now,” I teased him over his declaration of love which I knew would have been difficult enough without my finger pressing against the wounds.
Sometimes I couldn’t resist and it served him right because he hadn’t told the whole story about Noah.
“You weren’t mine before, to say the words to,” he commented briefly.
I blushed. Now I was his; forever.
“Before, you weren’t you,” he said quietly, looking at me like he had never seen me before with the back of his hand caressing my cold cheek.
For the first time, he looked into my eyes and we knew that we would from now on, be together forever, without Noah or resistance from others. For the first time he looked into my eyes and he saw me for who I was. He saw the Susy who had been his secret love since our eyes had met that first instant, many, many millions of years ago.
The soft kiss that followed had the same meaning as his words. I tried to pull myself together and think clearly. All this love in the air wasn’t good for Michael if he was going to stand on his feet. I updated Tarus quickly about what had happened, but only managed to reach Katrona’s death before I was interrupted.
“Why haven’t you healed him with the ash from the fire-rose?” he asked, quickly taking to anger.
He seemed to really understand the feelings a man could suffer from a broken heart.
“I haven’t seen the fire-rose since we were on Bomi, Tarus. We don’t have it. Eutychia has it,” I reminded him quickly.
“Well of course you have. I can feel its presence, it’s here,” he objected, appearing dead certain.
“What? Is it here? Where?”
My voice was surprisingly clear. Tarus spun his body round in a compass-like motion and then went straight over to Leo without deviating from his course.
“Leo, you have the fire-rose, why haven’t you helped Michael?” he urged.
Leo muttered something I could only faintly hear. He wasn’t afraid of Tarus, but kept his body at a distance. Leo never took any risks with the unexpected.
“Stay out of what you don’t understand,” hissed Leo between his teeth.
Nobody could hiss like that to Tarus without awaking his hot temper and it looked as if he was going to jump on Leo and kill him.
“You must have a really good explanation for not alleviating his heartbreak, if you are to remain alive,” he spat back.
As I had assumed, his voice indicated that his controlled mood could turn at any time. Flashes of anger would appear in his eyes. I had seen it before. In these moments, my Tarus was gone, replaced with an entirely different soul. An uncontrollable soul of anger, a righteous ruler of Bomi, who at anytime could change shape. That thought scared me more than anything else. Before I had a chance to react I saw Tarus nod in agreement with Leo before he angrily threw himself on all four legs.
A cat’s roar echoed out across Pixi’s city, to the end of the world.
“No! Tarus, come back!”
Although he registered my voice, he wouldn’t listen to it.
“They are attacking!” Kora screamed as she stood looking over the castle wall next to Nina and Hunter, waving both her arms high in the air in panic.
This time, I wouldn’t choose love over the people. Even though my speed wouldn’t have a problem with catching up with Tarus to stop him, it might then be too late to save the people, before I could convince him to regain his senses. My feet didn’t run across the sandy stones, they took long strides and with the help of the small wings I hovered for a long while before I landed and took the next powerful step.
The view over the wall was terrifying; how many were they? There must be thousands. How had Nomnat successfully managed to bring them all here? It was obvious: he had had twenty-nine years to keep on sending them. It would be what…one person every minute for twenty-nine years. It would be…sixty a minute for twenty-four hours for three-hundred and sixty-five days for twenty-nine years…approximately fifteen million soldiers. It was probably not that many, but there were at least…ten thousand rows of men of five hundred in width…approximately five million big, strong soldiers.
My attention focused on the people in command, at the front of the army. Their helmets hid half their faces, but I could clearly distinguish which one was Nomnat. Directly behind them, was the next level of command and the man that put a greater fear into me than anyone else. Admiral Milo had been artlessly torturing an individual the last time I had seen him. He wouldn’t have mercy on anyone in a figh
t. Drawing up the rare was Virginia, also easily recognisable, even though she was in armour. Virginia was one of the scantily clad women I had seen in the kitchen on Tarus’s knee. Surely I could bring myself to draw a sword against her slutty body that now wasn’t any more beautiful than mine.
It would take about another seven minutes before they reached the walls that surrounded the castle. The bridge was hoisted up. What? There…Tarus! My heart raced equally as fast in my chest as Tarus’s four legs sprinted at full speed towards the crowd of soldiers. Something must have made him angrier than his feelings could bear; or was it the tiger instinct? There he was, rushing out from the castle gates, straight towards the five million soldiers, with their swords and shields held high. His attack would be suicidal.
“Leo! What did you tell Tarus? Look what you’ve done!” I screamed.
There was no response that was worth waiting for. I couldn’t live without Tarus and everything would happen within seconds. He already knew that I loved him, so what was he trying to prove? Nothing was safe, wise or even comprehensible when he was in his tiger form. What was he doing? Why did he attack them at such a disadvantage that a victory couldn’t even happen by a miracle? But it was exactly what I was – a miracle. What could I do to save the situation? Oh…the panic…can’t think…Tarus must survive…
“Leo, do something quickly, Tarus is down there!”
When spears began to be thrown at the tiger I closed my eyes and searched for the answer deep inside me.
“Think force field, think force field,” I repeated the words as I remembered them, just as I heard Michael’s voice in my head at the time he had taught it to me in the park in Malaga and I had failed to use it to help Katrona.
“It works, you saved him!” I heard Hunter yelling, ecstatic even over his rival’s safety.
Hunter held Nina’s hand so hard it almost crushed her fingers. I saw the conviction in his eyes, the belief that we could do this. I wasn’t as optimistic about my rusty talents, but I let nothing distract me from the rhythm of my words.