The Natural Selection Retaliation

by Kyle Robertson

  “Just keep your eyes on the road. I don't want you to hit a deer talking to me.”

  Steve kept driving and avoiding all the abandoned cars.

  “So all these people just died on the road and the animals dragged them off for food. I’m surprised there were no pileups. Losing control at a hundred K an hour, there should be a slew of metal mangled messes out here,” Steve said.

  “No, I think the Program was a little more precise in the execution,” Chip said. “It probably controlled every car computer to slow them to a stop. No one would be around to put out the fires to scorch the earth. It was after the humans, not the wildlife.”

  “How did you get so smart without using a computer?”

  “I used computers. I just read more.”

  “If you used a computer, how are you still alive?”

  “You must have just missed me yelling at Cole about my self-surgery,” he said. “I deactivated my synapses for any computer or automaton link, thereby, making me invisible to the Program. I wanted to do it to Cole, but he didn’t think it was important enough to try.”

  “And I just thought you were distraught because he died. You were beating yourself up because you thought you could’ve prevented his death,” Steve realized. “You know his death wasn’t your fault in the least.”

  “I could’ve stopped it, Steve. He didn’t have to die.”

  “Did he want your surgery?”

  “As I just said, he didn’t think it was important enough.”

  “So, you didn’t just overpower him and make him do the surgery?” he asked sarcastically. “Oh wait, I forgot. He was an incredibly fit health nut and you’re a noodle-armed transiton. Look, Chip, if he didn’t want to do it, you couldn’t force him to do it. As I just said, it wasn’t your fault, blame the Program.”

  “Why are you giving me advice?” Chip was curious. “People like you used to beat me up in high school.”

  “High school was in a different lifetime, literally. I never participated in that ‘it’ crowd bully crew. I was in philosophy. I didn’t get harassed because I looked like the harasser. It even worked at the beginning of college until the Program went haywire.

  You’re an important part of humanity’s team. Beating you up because you’re smarter than I am would accent my stupidity. I won’t be privy to the stereotype. Yeah, my thigh is bigger than your waist, but at the end of the world, we both are in this together.”

  “You keep surprising me, Steve. You’re a unicorn. I know you’ll never admit it, but you’re a ‘brute transiton’. You can disrupt their bodies and their minds.”

  “That’s our secret, Transiton. The only other one who knows is Linda and she won’t tell anyone else.”

  “Di was telling me I really needed to know Gaia. I think you really need to know Linda. She and Gaia saw us off. Any money Gaia knows you’re a philosophy major. I’ll tell you when she tells me and will bury me alive if I tell you. They just never suspected we’d talk this way. You play shallow well.”

  Steve smiled.

  “You’re getting to know her scientifically. That’ll work until it doesn’t. Women work on emotion and emotion is one of those things which makes the scientific method inert. You can’t repeat and verify an emotional theory. It’s too sporadic.”

  “Cool out, I’m absurdly new to women. I can only deal with them with what I know. I’m good at the scientific method.”

  “As I just said, your method will work until it doesn’t.”

  

  “Is Jean-Renae bitter about his pilot comrades?” Alikira asked Carlos as they set sail for Maine.

  “It’s kinda nonsensical holding a grudge against dead guys,” Carlos said. “We learned a long time ago, a grudge only hurts you. They could be asleep while you negatively fester over something they did to you they won’t even remember. We stop letting them control us even in their sleep.”

  “You could’ve told me that before I came to the camp. That way, I wouldn’t have been losing ‘my’ sleep when I arrived.”

  “We just hooked up this month! That’s not random food for thought advice just to say to you out of the blue. I didn’t know you back then. And I mean ‘really’ know you.”

  “I get it,” she said. “I didn’t proposition your Latin calor back then either. Did I say that right?”

  “So, you liked my Latin heat on the plane ride back from Victoria?” he asked. “Yes, you said it right.”

  “Good. Saying I like your Latin crayons wouldn’t sound too sexy.” She smiled.

  “Baby, you could recite the binary code to the Yamato’s stealth bubble and sound sexy.”

  “Stop it. That’s just me saying ones and zeroes.”

  “Mmmmmmmmmm, ones and zeroes.”

  She play-slapped his arm while grinning.

  Snark suddenly burst into the helm’s room.

  “I can’t believe how tribal New Yorkers are!”

  “Slow down, Snark. Who put the wasp in your coffee cup?” Carlos asked.

  “Why are New York women so possessive?! Wally… well, Purge was trying to be more than friends with me and that Cindy girl went crazy telling me he’s her man and if we got together, she’d ‘break’ me. Obviously, she has never tangled with a Portuguese lady elite soldier before. I came in here to cool off so I don’t hurt her feelings the physical way!”

  “See, this is immediate malevolence,” Carlos told Alikira.”Did you ask Purge if he was her man?”

  “He told me he comforted her when a panther took little Georgina from her. They just talked for a while and she misconstrued his compassion for affection. They’re arguing about it now. That’s why I walked in here.”

  “More like stormed. You’re too close to this blaze right now. Let the embers die down before you engage again. If you intervene at this point, you’re bound to get burnt.”

  “Maybe Chip can make some asbestos gloves for me because I’m about to kick her ass!”

  “Cool down, Snark,” Alikira said. “Besides, Chip and Steve are in Bangor retrieving Gaia’s big brother.”

  “That’s why I didn’t see those two in Halifax,” Snark said. “At least Gaia’s boyfriend is committed to her. Purge seems like he’s a playboy.”

  “Just like a woman,” Carlos said. “To walk away from a heated argument of two others not knowing the ending, but assuming it’s all bad. OW! Why’d you hit me in the arm?!”

  Alikira recoiled her fist.

  “I call that the position adjuster. Your phrase should have been ‘Just like a distraught person’, not a woman. I was nice this time, so don’t say it again. If you do? Just know I can punch through a solid cobalt engine block. What’s the tensile strength of your arm?”

  Carlos corrected himself immediately. He liked strong women, but this time, he might’ve bitten off too much.

  “That was a slip, Snark. I’m just so used to seeing it from the other side. I didn’t access my present company, sorry.”

  “See, Di,” Sark started. “I want to yell at my boyfriend for not thinking too. Purge could’ve been him, but if he’s a playboy, forget it.”

  “I know Carlos says it abrasively, but he’s right, You’re assuming yourself into a non-starter and you really don’t know the result. We’ll go to Purge, no violence, and you could just ask him. Chip updated my memory, so I’ll know if he’s lying. If I give you the thumbs up, go for it.”

  “And don’t hurt Cindy,” Carlos said. “She just lost her baby. My mom miscarried and I know how emotionally fragile she is. Put on your ‘big girl’ pants and let’s go out there.”

  “He cleans up nice when his position’s adjusted,” Alikira smiled at Snark. “Let’s go talk to Wally.”

  

  “Are you sure it’s down this street? It doesn’t look like the location,” Chip said.

  “That’s because it’s at the end of this cul-de-sac. I’m on the right street. You did say Bensonhurst.” Steve kept driving.

  “Okay, I see i
t now. I just saw her house from the backyard. It’s over there.” Chip pointed at the brown two-story.

  Steve parked in front of her house.

  “I’m bringing my 14, you never know.”

  They got out of the vehicle and slowly walked to the front door.

  “LANCE! WE’RE HERE FOR GAIA! SHE’S STILL ALIVE!” Chip yelled.

  “Do you think he’ll just open the door? This guy has been a hermit for years. You’ll have to persuade him.”

  Chip walked to the door and tried it. The door swung open with a spooky creek.

  “Let’s enter this haunted house. Don’t shoot Lance,” Chip told Steve.

  “Talk to him. I’ll secure the perimeter. I’ll join you when I’m done,” Steve said.

  Chip went in slowly. The dank mildewy smell assaulted his breathing. The house presented a menacing dark stillness. The ivy crept up the walls making it seem as though nature rebelled. The house lost.

  “Lance, we’re here to get you. Squirrels can’t taste too good out here. Gaia’s our chef. You remember her food, don’t you?”

  All of a sudden, Lance blindside-tackled Chip! They crashed on the rotted cocktail table!

  “Gaia’s dead! Who are you?!”

  “Gaia’s alive! I’m her boyfriend! I’m a transiton like you!”

  Steve ran in and saw Lance straddling Chip on some broken wood.

  “LIAR! Gaia hates transitons! Try again!”

  Chip remembered his code word.

  “Bánh hỏi! Bánh hỏi! I know her! Get offa me!”

  Lance knew that dish. Gaia was still alive! He let up on Chip.

  “When I returned home, I saw my parents had died, so I expected Gaia ran and got killed by an automaton. Then when the cyborgs came, I knew she couldn’t survive. Where is she?”

  She’s waiting for you to join her on the aircraft carrier Yamato. She knew we could talk because I’m like you.”

  “Transitons didn’t survive the mass extinction. How did you?”

  “I ditched my assistant and performed a surgery I found online to mask my synapses.”

  Lance was surprised.

  “You’re telling me my brain hack surgery got out?! I thought Circumscriber deleted it.”

  Steve was amazed.

  “Wait a minute. You’re saying you posted the surgery that helped Chip stay alive? You better thank him, Chip. I’m thanking him because if he didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have you to kick around anymore.”

  Chip disregarded Steve’s quip.

  “She doesn’t hate transitons. I’m her boyfriend.”

  “Well, she hated me and all my techno-hacks. She thought I was wasting time learning things. If you’re her boyfriend, I’m living in paradox land,” Lance said. “She hates computers.”

  “That was sibling rivalry. She was fascinated by you, but you’re her brother. You don’t know how much her eyes lit up when she saw you hunting that squirrel in the backyard.”

  “So, Punky-head misses me. Don’t call her that. She’ll know it’s from me,”

  “You know, when she gets unreasonable, that’ll be my defuse name for her.”

  “Are we all done with talking about Gaia’s pet peeves? We have a ways to go to meet the Yamato,” Steve interrupted. “I swear transitions can lolly-gag…”

  Chip knew they had a schedule to keep.

  “Do you need anything? We’re about to stop Circumscriber… surprise!” Steve said.

  “You know if you weren’t still alive. I’d doubt ‘Commando Guy’ over there, but I’m up for taking it out.”

  “Don’t confuse Steve with a mindless meat-head. He’s a…”

  Steve interrupted.

  “A strategic military tactician. We need your brain to strategize.”

  Chip almost slipped on their deal. Steve was deadly serious about portraying the commando psycho. Chip vowed to himself to keep his persona intact.

  “Yeah, Steve would eat his own arm if it means victory.”

  “So, you’re the crazy one,” Lance assumed.

  “I’m the one who gets things done,” Steve said. “And our next task is to get on the Yamato in time. Bring all of your toys because we ain’t comin’ back.”

  “Is he always this mean?” Lanse asked Chip.

  “Just every other day. Catch him tomorrow and he’ll be nice.”

  “If you guys are going to destroy Circumscriber on its own turf, you all must be crazy,” Lance said. “I’m in.”

  “That’s funny. You thought you had a choice,” Steve said. “Let’s go, ladies.”

  

  After the argument died down and Cindy left, Snark joined Perge leaning on the deck railing. Alikira and Carlos were close by.

  “Is she still upset?”

  “I protect my people. I go above and beyond to make them feel better. All I did was ease her mind at a psychotic time in her life. Why does that brand me as hers when I never was?” he looked at Snark with a confused look.

  “Two questions before I answer you,” she began. “Did you accidentally flirt with her when you comforted her and are you a playboy?”

  “What?! No and no! Why are you getting on my case now? Some men can have compassion without being a player. Do you think just because I’m from Manhattan, I’m a player?”

  “It’s just the universal New York male stereotype. Don’t blame me for what I was taught and it seems like Cindy’s had a rough time with men. Your niceness was foreign to her. Where’s Georgina’s father?”

  “When she told him she was pregnant, he migrated to another group of scavengers.”

  She knew it. She looked at Alikira, got the thumbs up, and went for it.

  “Okay, Purge. When was the last time you ate before we got the supplies?”

  “About a week.”

  “So, when you ate that first serving of dehydrated corn beef hash, I bet it was the best hash you’ve ever tasted.”

  “It was amazing.”

  “It was a two-year-old freeze-dried hash. It was less than normal food. The difference was you were starving. That’s what made it amazing.

  Same with Cindy. You’re that hash. When your normal self gave her some ‘emotional food’. It was the best she ever had because she was starved. That’s why she went ballistic on you.”

  “So, being nice threw me in this corner. I thought the ‘bad guys’ always lost.”

  “They do lose. It just takes some time. You did nothing wrong, Your virtue gained you a point.”

  “I didn’t even know there was a scoreboard. What type of point are you talking about?”

  “Point one, you initiated our conversation. Point two, I like your stories. Point three, you’re not a playboy. Point four, you’re compassionate to your people. Make this a five-star and explain to Cindy you’re just plain corn beef hash, that real men are just nice and we can go out.” Snark finally was going to give him a chance. “See, ‘good guys' can still win.”

  We’re six kilometers off the coast of Maine. I need my look-outs top-side to scan for Chip, Steve, and Gaia’s brother. The all-call announced.

  “I gotta go, Wally, duty calls,” Snark said.

  “I’ll see you later, Qiana.”

  She shot him a look.

  “Hey, you aren’t the soldier now, you’re the beautiful woman and it’s just us within earshot. Throw me a bone here.”

  “Now I know why I told you my name. I thought you would use it at proper times and I was right. I’ll be back in an hour. Talk to Cindy and get your five stars.”

  

  “Do you think we missed them?” Lance asked. He piggy-backed with Chip on his floating submersible.

  “Don’t worry, Brainy Side-kick. Even if we were late, your sister would make them wait,” Steve said. “I just drove faster to try to get this mission over with quicker. Two transitons talking about nanite augmentation and microsurgery on bio-mechanic animorph simulants was like memorizing all the Q words verbatim in the dictionary.”
<
br />   “This could turn the tide, Steve,” Chip said. “Lance has a good idea. I never would’ve thought of it.”

  “You two mind-melding is just creepy. You’re her brother, Lance and you’re her boyfriend, Chip. The unwritten rule is you two shouldn’t get along. I mean Chip kissing your sister doesn’t tick you off?”

  “Actually no. Punky-head chose the right guy. I thought she would always be with a hoity-toity chef bitching about crème brulee and scallops. She actually found a rational man.”

  “Hey, we were early.” Chip pointed to the Yamato on the horizon. “You’ll get to see ‘Punky-head’ in about twenty minutes.”

  “You know not to call her Punky-head even in jest, right?” Steve asked Chip.

  “I think it’s a fun pet name.”

  “Her brother calls her that. Fun and that nickname are diametrically opposed. Don’t lose her trying to be cute by saying her ‘ugly’ name. Relationships 102.”

  Lance nodded.

  “A transiton problem. You’re so compu-smart, you’re real-life stupid. She hates that name. I’ll probably only get away with calling her that once because she misses me. If I try my luck once, you shouldn’t try it at all.”

  “That’s one attribute of a transiton,” Chip declared. “We listen to the experts.”

  

  ”I see them!” Marc yelled. “They’re about two kilometers out!”

  “Okay, people! This will be just a quick pick-up! We don’t want to stay in one place too long!” Nugget yelled to the Neo-Khaos soldiers.

  Snark went below deck with Linda, Alikira, Carlos, and Gaia. They lowered the retrieving door and extended the catch-hooks.

  “Are there three of them? Did they find my brother?” Gaia asked.

  Alikira zoomed to see them clearer.

  “Mixed bag. Yes, they found him, but he’s on Chip’s submersible. That whole brother, boyfriend thing sounds negatively strange to me.”

  “Yes! They found him!” Gaia yelled. “I’m not worried about Lance and Chip together. They’re both transitons. They have way more to talk about than Lance’s little cook sister.”

  “You like to discount yourself,” Carlos said. “I bet Chip knows of all the embarrassing secret you never told him.”