What Comes After

by Toppen, Melissa

  ——

  I spot Abel the instant I round the corner. He sees me at the same time, our eyes locking. A slow smile crawls across his face and within seconds I’m gliding toward him, pulling my suitcase behind me.

  “There she is.” He pulls me to him the moment I reach him, laying an unexpected kiss to my mouth for everyone in the airport to witness. “Fuck I missed you,” he murmurs against my lips, and a weird flutter runs through my chest.

  “Hi.” I smile at him when he releases his hold on me and reaches for my suitcase.

  “Hi.” He grins and I swear he’s the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  “Hi,” I say again, almost shyly.

  “How was your flight?”

  “It was good. First class is no joke.” I take the hand he extends to me, tangling my fingers with his as he guides us out of the airport, his other hand tugging my suitcase behind us.

  I feel like a giddy teenager having her hand held for the first time. Obviously that’s not the case. Abel alone has held my hand countless times, and yet its effect on me never wavers.

  It’s also not lost on me that he’s seems more at ease showing his affection to me in public. I went from feeling like a dirty little secret to feeling like a princess he wants to parade around on his arm.

  We make small talk as we leave the airport. I tell Abel the highlights of my weekend. About Diego taking us around the city, about the incredible conference, about all the people I met. I talk so much that by the time we reach my apartment building he’s barely had time to say two words. Yet he seemed perfectly content listening to me ramble on and on.

  “Thank you for the ride.” I unlatch my seatbelt as he pulls into a parking spot. “Do you maybe wanna come up?” I gesture to the building in front of us.

  “I’d love to.” He kills the car engine and quickly climbs out.

  I bite my bottom lip in an effort to hold in my smile. I feel like I’m always smiling when I’m with him, but I can’t help it. Abel makes me so insanely happy.

  He grabs my suitcase from the trunk before following me up the sidewalk toward my building. I feel him close, like he’s walking just far enough from me not to step on my heels.

  I keep my gaze forward and focus on fishing my keys out of my purse without falling up the steps that lead to the front entrance.

  It doesn’t take us long to reach my apartment and the moment the door snaps closed behind us, we both turn toward each other.

  He smiles. I smile.

  The next thing I know, we’re a tangled mess of lips and hands, tearing at each other’s clothing like we can’t get undressed fast enough.

  It isn’t until we’re down to nothing but our underwear that he thinks to pause and look around.

  “You’re sure Henna isn’t here, right?”

  “Pretty sure.” I giggle. “Henna. Henna, are you here?” I yell through the apartment. No answer. “I’m guessing that’s a no,” I tell him, pulling his mouth back to mine.

  Hoisting me up, our lips don’t part as he carries me down the hall, into my bedroom. Depositing me on the bed, he rids me of my remaining clothes before slowly stepping out of his boxers.

  My body sings with anticipation.

  “You have no idea how much I thought about this while you were away.” He crawls up my body, trailing kisses across my stomach before working his way higher.

  “Mmm.” I hum at the feeling of his lips as they slide across my collarbone as he settles between my thighs.

  “It’s all I could think about. The way you taste.” He flicks his tongue along the base of my neck. “The way you smell.” He inhales deeply. “The way you feel around me.” He slides inside of me without warning, causing me to cry out in both surprise and pleasure. “Fuck.” He groans, burying himself deep.

  This isn’t the first time we haven’t used protection, but it’s the first time he’s done so without triple checking with me first. I guess now it’s kind of a moot point. I’ve been on birth control since I was eighteen. I’m pretty confident there won’t be any surprise pregnancies in my future.

  “Abel.” I drag my nails gently up his back.

  “It would be so easy.” He slowly begins to move, his body sliding against mine. “To lose myself in you.” He kisses my cheek. “To let myself fall.” His lips move to mine. “It would be so easy.” His words whisper against my mouth.

  It sounds like he’s saying he could fall in love with me. My heart constricts in my chest and my lungs suddenly feel unable to properly pass air.

  “Then do it,” I say, not even knowing exactly what I’m telling him to do. I don’t get a chance to find out either, because Abel silences me with an earth-shattering kiss that rockets through me like fireworks going off under my skin.

  His hands are everywhere, his lips, his touch. It’s everywhere. Like he’s branding me with an iron, claiming every single inch of me as his own.

  And I let him. I let him claim me, over and over again. Because when it comes to Abel Collins, I want to be claimed. I want him to know that every piece and part of me is his. Especially my heart.

  ——

  “Honey, I’m home,” Henna sings through the house and I shoot upright, my eyes going to where Abel is sleeping in my bed next to me.

  After we had physically exhausted ourselves we must have dozed off.

  I shake Abel’s shoulder.

  “Hey, wake up,” I whisper yell. “Abel.” I shake him harder.

  He groans, his eyes sliding open.

  “Henna’s home.”

  “And?” He rolls to his side, snaking his arm around my middle to pull me back down with him.

  “And? She doesn’t knock. She could walk in here at any moment.”

  “Well then I guess it’s a good thing there’s a blanket.” He pulls the comforter up over us.

  “You don’t care if she walks in and finds us in bed together?” I turn to my side to face him.

  “No.” He lifts his hand to brush a strand of hair away from my face. “She already knows. Besides, it’s a little late to try and sneak out now.” He grins.

  “I feel like a teenager waiting for my mom to walk in and find me in bed with a boy.”

  “Well, if we’re going to get caught, perhaps we should be doing something worth catching.” He lifts his eyebrows suggestively.

  “Shut up.” I push playfully at his chest, rolling to my back.

  “Knock, knock,” Henna’s voice floats from the hallway seconds before my bedroom door swings open. “Are you in bed?” She laughs, stopping dead in her tracks when her eyes slide to the man next to me. “Well hell, you could have at least warned me that y’all were in here indecent and shit.”

  “Sorry.” Abel chuckles, acting completely at ease. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point things changed. I think it was so gradual that I didn’t even notice until it was staring me right in the face.

  “If you two are going to be done anytime soon, Aaron and I bought pizza.” She gestures in the vicinity of the kitchen.

  “I could go for some pizza.” Abel props up on his elbow so that he’s hovering above me. “You hungry?” He looks down at me.

  “Starving.” I smile up at him.

  “Okay, we’re in,” he tells Henna.

  “Perfect.” She claps her hands together. “I’ll tell Aaron to grab a couple extra plates.” With that, she spins around and promptly exits the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

  “You just made her day.” I press up and kiss his jaw before rolling out of bed.

  “I did?”

  When I look at him he’s already out of bed and has his boxers halfway up his legs. Meanwhile, I’m still searching for my panties.

  “You might regret that later,” I inform him, finally locating my underwear and bra.

  “Why’s that?” He slides his shirt on over his head. Thank god I grabbed our clothes from the front hall when I went for drinks before round two.

  “Because yo
u’ve just subjected yourself to an evening with the inquisitor.” I give him a knowing look. “Not to mention your brother is out there,” I address the one thing he’s conveniently failed to comment on.

  “So.” He shrugs, tugging up his jeans.

  “So, I thought we were keeping this low key.” Even though I know that Aaron knows, it doesn’t mean Abel does.

  “We were.”

  “What do you mean were?” I question, having to physically fight off the excitement that starts bubbling in my stomach.

  “I think we’re past secretly hooking up, don’t you?” He cocks his head to the side.

  “Yeah, I do, but I didn’t know that’s what you wanted.”

  “Neither did I,” he repeats the same thing he said to me after asking me to stay the night with him that first time.

  “But you do now?”

  “I do.” He nods, his grin turning into a full-blown smile, dimples and all.

  “So, are we officially dating then? Is that what this is?” I struggle to accept vague responses. I need him to put some kind of label on it so I know how to categorize it in my head.

  “I guess we are.” He crosses the room toward me.

  “And you don’t care who knows?”

  “Pretty sure everyone already knows, anyway. Let’s just say Henna is a bit loose lipped.” He tugs me into his chest and tips my chin upward.

  “You know about that?” I cringe.

  “Pretty hard not to when you show up to dinner at your parents and everyone there is talking about it.”

  “Oh god. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” He chuckles. “I actually didn’t mind it. It felt good to talk about something that makes me happy for a change. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anything good in my life to talk about.”

  “Abel.” His name comes off my lips in a soft whisper.

  “I told you the other day, Peyton, you’re under my skin.” He leans forward and kisses me softly. “Now come on, let’s go eat. I’m so hungry.” He drops another kiss to my mouth before grabbing my hand and leading me out of the bedroom.

  ——

  “This is so good.” I groan around the bite of pizza in my mouth. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until Henna plopped down an open pizza box on the table in front of me and I practically salivated.

  “This is really good,” Abel agrees. “I’ve never had this pizza before.”

  “You haven’t.” I give him a knowing look.

  “Oh no, this does not qualify,” he tells me, knowing exactly where I’m going with this.

  “And why not?”

  “Okay, someone explain to me what’s going on right now,” Henna interrupts, her gaze bouncing between Abel and me.

  “Peyton and I have a little game we like to play whenever we go out to eat,” Abel starts.

  “Okay,” Henna draws out. “Which is?”

  “I try to find a restaurant he’s never been to and if I succeed, he has to fulfill one dare of my choosing,” I jump in to answer.

  “And if I have been there,” Abel takes back over, “Then Peyton has to fulfill one dare of my choosing.”

  “Oh, I like this game.” Henna bounces in her seat.

  “So, I think, because we’re eating together, and he’s never had this pizza place before, that I should win a dare,” I say.

  “And I say because she didn’t pick the restaurant, the winning argument is null and void,” Abel argues.

  “Hmm.” Henna taps her chin. “Realistically it could go either way. But, I think I’m with Peyton on this one.”

  “You’re only with Peyton because you want Abel to have to do a dare,” Aaron jumps to Abel’s defense.

  “Thank you.” Abel nods to his brother.

  “Looks like we’re at an impasse.” Henna leans back in her seat. “Shame. It would have been fun to witness whatever crazy thing you’d make him do.”

  “Fun for you maybe,” Abel interjects.

  I know it’s something so insignificant, sitting around a table sharing a meal with my best friend, her boyfriend, and the man I’m now officially dating. It’s something that happens every day, yet to me it feels monumental on a level I can’t even begin to process.

  Because this is the first time this has happened when there are no secrets between us. Where everything is out in the open and we can exist like a normal couple. I didn’t realize just how much I needed that until now.

  We spend the next two hours lounging around my apartment, laughing and talking. I’ve seen Abel around his brothers before but never in such a laid-back fashion. The two, I’m finding, are a lot alike in a lot of ways, yet so different from each other at the same time. It’s nice to see another side of Abel.

  It’s just after ten when Henna announces she’s going to bed. Aaron has to work early in the morning, so he decides to head out, and while I expect Abel to use Aaron’s exit as an excuse to leave himself, he doesn’t even budge when Aaron says his goodbyes and Henna walks him out.

  Instead he pulls me closer, dropping his arm over my shoulder as he secures me to his side.

  “Are you tired?” Abel traces his fingers lightly up my arm, causing my skin to prickle.

  “Not really,” I admit. “That nap earlier kind of ruined me.”

  “Yeah, me too. I guess we could always give Henna a taste of her own medicine, seeing how we’re both wide awake and all.”

  “A taste of her own medicine?” I laugh, turning my gaze up to his face.

  “You know, thin walls,” he whispers even though we’re completely alone.

  “I like the way your mind works.” I giggle when he abruptly pops up off the couch, pulling me up with him.

  “We’ve got a lot of payback to make up for. Might as well start now.” He winks before leaning down and effortlessly tossing me over his shoulder.

  “Abel,” I squeal, laughing when he swats my backside. “I can walk, you know.”

  “Yeah, but this is so much more fun.”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Abel

  “So, you’re officially dating?” Claire smiles, knocking her shoulder into mine as we make our way down the sidewalk. Claire’s new little yapper dog is bouncing happily next to her.

  “I guess we are,” I admit, feeling hopeful in a way I never imagined I would again.

  I used to think there was no way I could love someone like that again. That there was no one on this earth that would ever compare to Finley.

  But the more time I spend with Peyton, the more I realize that it doesn’t have to be so cut and dry. It’s not about loving them the same because they aren’t the same. And it’s not about Peyton replacing Finley, because no one will ever have the power to do that. It’s about her claiming a part of my heart that I didn’t even know existed anymore.

  Over the last few weeks, she has slowly opened my eyes to all the things I was too lost in my grief to see. Possibility. Hope. A real chance to be happy again. These are all things I wrote off after Finley died.

  “You seem really happy,” Claire continues.

  “I am,” I admit. “For the first time in a long time.”

  “I’m glad. After everything, you deserve it.”

  “So where is this dog park we’re going to again?” I ask when we stop and wait to cross the street.

  “Just around the corner.” She gestures ahead of us.

  “I still can’t believe you got a fucking dog.” I shake my head, looking down at the little white ball of fur. “I gotta admit though, she’s pretty cute.”

  “She is, isn’t she.” She smiles down at her. “Nick found her for me.”

  “Nick did, huh?” I question. “You two still hanging out I take it.”

  “Hanging out. Let’s go with that.” She gives me a look that says I don’t want to know more.

  “If he does anything to hurt you, you better tell me.”

  “Why? So you can go all brother on me and beat him up.”

  “That’s e
xactly why.”

  “You’re sweet, but I can take care of myself.” She takes off walking and I quickly catch up to her.

  “I know you can. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

  “Thank you for saying that.” She lays her head against my bicep for a brief moment.

  “Well I mean it. You really are.”

  “I like to think Fin passed me some of her strength when she died. Otherwise I don’t think I would have survived losing her.”

  “But you did.”

  “And so did you,” she counters, reaching over to squeeze my hand.

  “Yeah, I guess I did. I didn’t come out unscathed, but somehow by the grace of god I’m still in one piece. I think Finley had something to do with it.”

  “Oh you know she did. Sometimes I think she’s standing behind an invisible curtain, pulling all the strings.”

  “I feel that way too sometimes. Like something random will happen and I’ll think to myself, okay, Fin, I’m listening.”

  “That’s exactly it.” Claire slows as the dog park comes into view. “Look, Sadie Bell, there it is.” She talks to her dog like it’s a baby.

  I can’t help but bark out a laugh.

  “Are you laughing at me right now?” Her squinted gaze slides to my face.

  “Never.” I feign innocence.

  “Come on, baby, let’s go play. Mean Uncle Abel can stand on the other side of the fence and watch,” she speaks directly to the dog.

  “What, am I in time out now?” I throw my hands up when Claire starts to walk away.

  She gets all of ten feet before she turns back around. The way the sun hits her skin, lighting her whole face, I swear she’s never looked more like Finley. But instead of hurting like I expect it to, like it used to, it actually brings a smile to my face. Because I want to remember her. Always.

  “Are you coming or what?” She taps her foot impatiently.

  “I thought I wasn’t invited.” I smirk.

  “Oh shut it and come on.” She laughs, waiting until I’ve joined them before continuing on.

  “So, do you love her?” She reverts back to our previous conversation as she leans down and releases Sadie from her leash.

  “I think so.” I lean back against the fence that surrounds the park.