If I Fall (New Castle Book 2)

by Lydia Michaels

  She couldn’t open her eyes and her lips were pressed too tight to form a response.

  He left the car and opened her door. Reaching across her waist, he unlatched her seatbelt and pulled her into his arms. She sucked in a ragged breath, too weak to pull back, but her muscles internally locked as he cradled her to his hard chest.

  “Shh,” he soothed as he pressed her face to his shoulder and he ran a hand down her back.

  The familiar scent of his skin met her nose and she repeatedly told herself this was Jeremy. He was not the bad guy. He was the safe guy. The good guy. The friend who would probably throw his own body between her and harm without a single second of hesitation. Slowly her muscles relaxed.

  His large build cocooned her smaller form, delivering a sense of security. She clung to his strength, needed it in that moment. His grip tightened, grounding her to the now in a way that reminded her the past was over. His hold settled her, anchored her. Jeremy was safe. But she still needed to keep reminding herself of that.

  Tension tied her in knots that kept coming undone, unraveling. The coherent woman inside of her was tangled in a web of chaos no one else could see. The fact that she was fighting an unseen enemy all alone broke her. She lost the battle to her tears and let out a jagged breath that turned into a ragged string of snotty sobs.

  She desperately longed to tell him what happened, but shame crippled her words, letting only sobbed syllables escape as her body quaked. She was losing it.

  “Jade, baby, you have to calm down. I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

  Her thoughts spiraled. “I…”

  She sobbed. Her humiliating attempt to communicate was choked off by a strangled moan. It seemed everything she worked to hide over the past few hours in order to participate in Kat’s wedding was now demanding escape.

  “I c-can’t…” Breathing hurt. Pain constricted in her chest as she sucked in one serrated breath after another. “I can’t … s-s-sleep here.”

  His steady fingers brushed a strand of hair away from her damp cheek. When he turned her face so he could see her, he was wearing a confused frown. “Where? Your apartment?”

  Unable to offer an explanation, she wept harder. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he took a slight step back. She wanted to hide in his shelter, but Jeremy always preferred to face things head on. “Jade.” Under other circumstances, it might have been funny how he kept trying to pull back only to have her grip him closer. “Jade, I want to talk for a second.”

  She clung to him, not wanting to let go. No matter how much she tried to stop crying, she couldn’t. Sniffling and gasping, she simply apologized again and again. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I … know this isn’t… your pr—” She gasped. “—problem.”

  “Honey, look at me.” He gently wrenched her away from his chest, his finger tipping up her chin. “Whatever’s going on, you need to tell me.” His green eyes showed emerald under the moonlight, heavy with concern.

  Incomplete breaths tumbled in and out of her lungs. “I’m scared.”

  His gentle caress tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear and he pulled her back to his chest. His warm lips pressed to her temple. Her breathing slowed as his lips traveled to her cheeks and eyes. “Shh. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay.” His kisses weren’t sexual. Rather, they were protective and soothing.

  Emotions taut, her nerves threatening to sink her deeper into hysteria, a sort of drowsy calm washed over her, quieting her mind. Tipping her face to the side, he gently brushed his lips over hers, tracing yet barely touching, softer than a butterfly’s wing.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered.

  Her damp lashes lifted slowly as his feet shifted. She looked up at him, wondering what this was. Her body trembled, not with fear but longing. She didn’t want to sleep with him tonight, but this, the way he was touching his lips to her face and sheltering her body with his, this she wanted.

  His mouth tenderly closed over hers and her heart thundered in her chest. Her jagged emotions couldn’t keep up with all the twists and turns her mind was taking. Slow and sensual, the delicate caress of his lips grew bolder, drawing her away from numb exhaustion to teetering hysteria and into something she knew she couldn’t handle.

  Shivers raced up her limbs, down to the tips of her toes, as he gradually traced the seam of her lips with his tongue. His unique and familiar scent of heated skin and something incredibly male filled her senses.

  Her instincts took over. Slightly parting her lips, she pressed into the kiss and he made a sound of satisfaction. Easing her into a state of passivity, he kept each caress slow, lulling her into a sedate corner where only pleasure could touch her.

  Easing away, one slow pull at a time, he drew back. “Do you want to stay at my house?” he whispered. “Just sleep, nothing more.”

  Reality, fantasy, and temptation became an indecisive disaster in her head. She nodded lazily, still unable to open her eyes. Tucking her legs back into the vehicle, he gently shut the door. Pressing her cheek into the soft leather of the seat she let her mind rest in preparation for whatever conversation they’d have next, and she hoped it wouldn’t be about why she couldn’t have sex with him.

  The drive was silent, but her thoughts were calm, focused only on the memory of his lips against hers. Savoring the absence of demons, she kept her eyes closed and let the soft hum of the engine calm her into a restful state.

  The click of the seatbelt jolted her. The engine was quiet and Jeremy was lifting her out of the Jeep. “Go back to sleep. I’ve got you.”

  She tensed, but as he pulled her snug against his broad chest she relaxed. His keys jingled as he unlocked the door and a rush of cool air hit her skin as they entered the house.

  She’d never been to his home. It was a new house, built by Adams Construction, on the property once owned by Jeremy’s father and it still smelled of fresh paint. As much as she wanted to see it, she didn’t want to interrupt the moment.

  Her body barely jostled in his solid hold as he ascended the stairs. Easing her down, her back pressed into a soft mattress and she curled onto her side. Two nights of insomnia had taken its toll, making coherent thought as impossible as opening her eyes. And behind it all was the incredible sensation of feeling safe and protected.

  The slide-click of opening and closing drawers vaguely registered. The mattress dipped as the heat and weight of his touch glided over the catch of her gown. He placed a tentative hand on her shoulder and paused.

  “Jade, honey?” he said in a thick whisper. “I have a T-shirt and shorts here for you. Do you think you can get yourself changed the rest of the way?”

  She peeked at him through drowsy eyes, too exhausted to care.

  Gaze dropping to the ground, he mumbled, “I … uh… I’ll go get you some Tylenol and a glass of water while you change.” He stood and left the room, his movements stiff.

  Light seeped from the hallway, slicing through the darkness. She sluggishly sat up and pulled her gown off her shoulders, letting it fall to a heap on the floor.

  The shirt swallowed her, gaping around her arms and neck, but she didn’t care. Climbing under the warm covers, drowsily scanned the empty room. She was in Jeremy’s room. In his bed. This moment was nothing like all the various ways she’d fantasized.

  Chapter Four

  Jeremy returned from the kitchen to check on Jade and found her in a tiny heap beneath his comforter, breathing softly. Placing a glass of water and two small pills on the nightstand, he studied her.

  He didn’t think she drank a lot at the wedding, but he was sure crying like that would give anyone a headache. Something was majorly wrong and he was pretty sure not even Kat knew her best friend was going through something big. This was not the Jade Shultz they knew. But why the secrecy?

  Picking up her gown from the floor, he awkwardly folded it at the foot of the bed. She didn’t even take up a quarter of the mattress. Brow pinched, he tucked a ribbon of flaxen hair behind her ear.
>
  Don’t look at her like that.

  His gaze traveled over the contours of her body. The shorts he’d left for her were still folded on the comforter. The thought of her in his bed, without pants, made his throat instantly dry. His blood grew so thick he sensed it throbbing through his—

  Time to go.

  Placing a kiss on her temple, he breathed in her delicate scent. She was in his bed, but certainly not the way he’d anticipated. Standing, he reached for a pillow. He was couch-bound tonight. Grabbing the jeans draped over the hamper, he crept out the door and headed downstairs.

  When his gaze hit the sofa he grimaced. It was a good size but far too small for a man his size to sleep comfortably. He glanced at the ceiling. No, he couldn’t sleep with her until he knew why she was so upset. Tossing his pillow on a chair, he turned down the hall and slipped through the basement door.

  His body was primed and thrumming with energy and he needed an outlet. Stripping off his rented tux, he flipped on his stereo and winced, quickly dialing down the volume. In his briefs, he approached the weight bench. Not quite the same rush as fucking a beautiful woman, but it should take the edge off. Hopefully, this would just be a temporary fix, because he still intended for Jade to return to his bed—under better circumstances.

  As he worked himself into a sweat, his mind crawled over her strange behavior today. One of Jade’s most appealing qualities was her sassy confidence. He preferred seeing her that way, but there was something … delicate about seeing her vulnerable. As a trained security professional, he got a rise out of protecting those in need of protecting. So, holding Jade and giving her a safe haven in his arms… It lit somewhat of a fire inside of him.

  The question was, what the hell did she need protecting from? Maybe he’d finally talk her into a security system. She shouldn’t be afraid to stay home alone when she’d lived by herself since college.

  He dropped the barbells on the carpet. Did someone break into her place? Was that what this was about? If so, she better have filed a fucking police report. He’d get to the bottom of it tomorrow for sure.

  Flipping off the music, he made his way back up the stairs and to the second floor. Jade still slept, her body in the same position it was when he last saw her. Slipping into the bathroom, he grabbed a towel and turned the faucet on cool. A quick rinse and he’d return to the living room.

  Glancing between his legs he grimaced at the thick hard-on pointing to his bedroom, to the woman on the other side of the wall sleeping in his bed.

  “Fuck.” He fisted his cock and stroked, not sparing the time or consideration to do more than get himself a little relief so he could sleep.

  His mind filled with flashes of blond hair, green eyes, and soft lips. What would her mouth feel like, wrapped around his cock, those lips stroking slow and tight? He grunted and tightened his fist, stroking faster.

  Her short, curvy little body bouncing hard on his cock. Her big eyes staring up at him as he fucked her full tits. “Shit.”

  He tugged and pulled his flesh, his palm flattening on the tile wall as his breath soughed through the steamy air. His eyes pinched shut as he imagined her coming on his dick, the walls of her pussy clamping around his flesh, milking his release.

  “Yes,” he growled, pumping his fist fast.

  The base of his spine tingled as his balls drew up tight. A ribbon of come shot past his clamped fingers onto the wall. He panted, slowly releasing his hold and catching his breath.

  Once he had himself under control and no longer seeing cross-eyed, he rinsed away the evidence. Yes, he could definitely be patient if that’s what she needed right now, but after a year of tempting offers and not so subtle flirting, he really needed her to tell him why they were suddenly waiting. He wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted a woman to the degree he wanted Jade. And he had every intention of having her.

  Chapter Five

  Jade awoke from a nightmare to the sound of screaming. Panicked, her eyes darted around the unfamiliar room. She twisted awkwardly, her limbs tangling in the sheets as her hyperventilating gasp choked off her shrill cries. The door burst open and there, looking disheveled and fierce, stood Jeremy, aiming a handgun directly at her.

  Eyes wide, she whimpered and scurried back the headboard.

  His eyes scoured every nook and cranny of the room, landing on her in a hard scowl. “What the hell happened?”

  The events of the previous evening came hurtling back to her. Kat’s wedding, driving home with Jeremy, crying, Jeremy kissing her, him carrying her to his bed. Well, a bed. He’d apparently slept somewhere else.

  “Jade!” He did something with the gun that made it click before he lowered it. “Why were you screaming?”

  It was a dream. She’d only had a bad dream. For a moment, she thought a faceless man was chasing her. Shutting her eyes, she sighed and smiled. Dreaming meant she’d slept.

  “What the hell is so amusing? It sounded like someone was murdering you up here.”

  He was so cute, all serious and prepared to blow away whatever frightened her. How close was that gun that he had it locked and loaded in the time it took her to belt out a scream? She hoped he kept it in a secure and safe place when Mia visited. She’d mention that to him later.

  “Jade!” he snapped, demanding her attention. “What happened?”

  Okay, funny time over. “Um, I had a bad dream, then I woke up and I didn’t know where I was.” She gave him an apologetic grin and his shoulders relaxed with a huff.

  “You didn’t want to sleep at your apartment last night so I brought you here.”

  “I know. I remember, now. I was disoriented when I woke, that’s all. But the good news is I slept. Where’s your bathroom?”

  He made an awkward nod and hitched a thumb over his shoulder, rapidly dismantling the gun in the next second. “Through that door. When you’re finished, come down for breakfast.”

  It wasn’t a question, or at least wasn’t one where he was going to wait around for an answer. Shaking his head, he turned and disappeared down the hall.

  After freshening up, she searched Jeremy’s cabinets. She told herself she was looking for a new toothbrush, but really, she was searching for clues about the man.

  Unfortunately, her search revealed nothing interesting, just some over the counter medicine, shaving cream, a razor, toothpaste, floss, aftershave, and regrettably, a partially used box of condoms. She tried not to think about who was using Jeremy’s condoms. Finding an unopened princess toothbrush—probably purchased for Mia—she brushed her teeth.

  The delicious scent of coffee and bacon greeted her at the bottom of the steps. Wandering through the unfamiliar home, her nose guided her toward the kitchen.

  The house was nice, simple. It was clearly a bachelor pad, white walls adorned with mismatched picture frames surrounding utilitarian furniture. It seemed too vacant, lacking in personal belongings.

  Rumpled blankets hung off the couch. In the corner, a toy chest overflowed with dolls. A door in the hall was slightly open, leading to carpeted steps. Jeremy worked from home, doing something with computers. That was probably his office.

  Entering the small, eat-in-kitchen, she grinned as Jeremy spooned scrambled eggs onto a plate. His bed head was gone, replaced with damp blond spikes, and he now wore a shirt. Pity.

  “Perfect timing.” He carried two plates to the table.

  “Smells delicious.” Sliding onto a chair, she kept her eyes on her food and slowly picked up her fork. Sneaking a glance at him, he squared off a bite and shoved it into his mouth as if he were alone. The awkward silence stretched as she slowly nibbled at her food.

  This is weird. Just say something. Comment on the weather, or Mia, or the fact that you’re still wearing his shirt.

  Here she was, at Jeremy’s house, wearing his clothes, after sleeping in his bed. As she used the last bite of her toast to shovel the remaining crumbs of egg into her mouth, she looked up and stilled. He was watching her.

  “W
hat?” She self-consciously wiped her mouth.

  “I’m glad you like my eggs. It’s one of the few things I can cook.”

  “I was starving. I can’t remember the last time I ate.”

  “Didn’t you eat at the wedding?”

  “I, uh, didn’t have much of an appetite.” She took a sip of her coffee and immediately regretted it. Grimacing, she swilled the bitter mix around in her mouth for a second, contemplating anywhere other than her stomach to put the putrid brew, and haltingly swallowed.

  “Sorry about the coffee. Here, try adding some sugar.” The bowl slid across the table. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Mmm, like a rock. Thanks for letting me crash here. Your bed’s really comfortable.”

  He didn’t reply, so she assumed it was his bed. Were they going to talk about her disgraceful outburst last night, or more importantly, the kiss?

  “You didn’t have to do that, you know.” She tipped her head toward the den. “I could’ve slept on the couch.” Or you could have shared the bed… She quickly recalled how skittish she’d been each time he touched her yesterday. Now, in his kitchen, wearing his shirt, she felt braver.

  He mumbled something and stood, taking their plates to the sink.

  “I’ll do the dishes. It’s only fair since you cooked.”

  “I’d rather talk than worry about the dishes right now.” He returned to his seat, all humor gone from his expression.

  Shrinking under his scrutiny, she played dumb. “About what?”

  “About what’s going on with you.”

  It was probably a good idea to talk to someone about what happened and Kat was off limits until her honeymoon was over. She took a deep breath and stood.

  “Fine. But if we’re going to have some drawn-out conversation at least let me make some decent coffee.”

  She dumped the remainder of sludge down the drain. It looked more like syrup than coffee. When she lifted the filter trap she identified the problem. “Holy shit, Jeremy. How many scoops do you use?”