New Leaf

by Catherine Anderson

  Taffeta’s mouth started to tremble. “You will not be required to wear nail polish of any kind, Barney. You’re a man, and being a strong male role model in her life is the most important thing that she needs. No ribbons, no sparkles. She only needs for you to be you. She’ll love you just for who you are. Trust me on this.”

  He held her gaze with tears still swimming in his eyes. “I’ll even wear lipstick for her, I swear to God. You cannot imagine how it felt when she looked up at me with those huge brown eyes and asked if I’d be her best friend. Not just friend friends, but best friends. She stressed the difference.”

  • • •

  During one of her visits to the Gentry home in Erickson, Taffeta was told by Cameron that he had petitioned the court right after her first visit to grant her unsupervised visitations with her daughter. He cautioned her not to expect a swift ruling. The month of May slipped away into June, and June sped by until it was July. Taffeta worked in her shop every day and went home to be with her wonderful husband at night, except for when he pulled a double shift so he could always have Tuesdays off. It seemed to her that she would never have her daughter for a visitation in her own home, let alone regain custody. That saddened her.

  But life went on, demanding that she run her business, pay the bills, shop for groceries, clean the house, and cook. Barney always helped with the household chores, just as she went out to help him with the chickens and livestock. Sometimes depression threatened to bog her down, but she always managed to shrug it off. She had so many blessings to be thankful for, the most wonderful one being Barney. He loved her so much. Being with him was such a gift. Whenever she saw him, her heart blossomed with joy, and judging from the way he looked at her, he felt the same way.

  It was good. No, it was wonderful.

  But until she got her daughter back, it would never be perfect.

  Her visits with Sarah were fun, and Taffeta looked forward to them. But there were also hurdles to jump whenever she kept company with her daughter. Sarah seldom used bad language now, but she still slipped sometimes and shocked Taffeta with a filthy word. Sarah also still grew sassy with adults and didn’t show them proper respect. Slowly Taffeta assumed more and more parental responsibility, calling Sarah onto the carpet for a scold to correct her behavior instead of leaving the entire burden of discipline on Cameron’s shoulders. Grace, weakened and sick from chemo, no longer had the strength to deal with Sarah at all, and the friend who came daily to be a grandmother substitute felt uncomfortable about correcting Sarah’s manners.

  Taffeta had come to accept that she wouldn’t soon be awarded custody. Before that could happen, the appellate court had to overturn her child abuse conviction, and at that level in the judicial hierarchy, things seemed to move slowly. When—and if—Taffeta was pronounced innocent, she could file for a hearing with the court in Erickson to regain custody.

  One evening, she told Barney, “I’m afraid Sarah will be eighteen and graduating from high school before I can have her come live with me.”

  Barney hugged her close. “I know all this waiting is very hard. I also know being patient has to be really difficult. Maybe it will be easier when the Erickson court finally grants you the right to have unsupervised visitations with Sarah. At least then, you’ll be able to have her here, in our home environment.”

  Taffeta yearned with all her heart for that day to arrive, but after waiting for so long, she feared that the Erickson court might never grant her that privilege.

  • • •

  The following week, Taffeta was behind the counter at her shop, making a list of supplements that she needed to order, when Barney walked in with Sarah in tow.

  “Surprise!” he said. “Cameron pulled strings to hurry things up, got you unsupervised visitation, and came to the department with a very special present. He wanted me to deliver her here so we can celebrate as a family.”

  “Hi, Mommy!” Sarah, wearing a blaze of bright yellow, dashed behind the counter. “I get to stay with you for a whole week! Even longer if I want! Grammy says my grandpa will come and get me if I get homesick, but I don’t think I will.”

  Taffeta dropped to her knees and wrapped both arms around her little girl. This had to be a dream. In a moment, she’d wake up.

  “How come you are crying?” Sarah asked. “Aren’t you glad I’m here?”

  Taffeta gave a wet laugh. “I’m crying because I’m so happy! You’re the very best present anyone ever gave me!”

  Over the top of the child’s head, Barney said, “Cameron says that she’s missing vacation Bible school, but that’s just fine because she attends a private Christian school nine months a year. When he got the word that you’d been granted unsupervised visitation, he packed her a suitcase, yanked her out of Bible school, and drove her here. Until regular school reconvenes, you can have her for as long as you like as long as she doesn’t get homesick.”

  A lump had taken up residence at the base of Taffeta’s throat, making it difficult for her to speak. She silently scolded herself for acting like a ninny, collected her composure, and hurriedly prepared to close her shop for the day, maybe for the entire week. She could scarcely believe Grace and Cameron’s generosity and made a mental note to call them later to say thank you.

  But for now she could focus on only Sarah.

  As she collected her purse and fished for her car keys, Barney said, “No way am I letting you drive home, honey. You’re shaking like a leaf.”

  Taffeta realized that she actually was trembling from head to toe. “You’re right. I probably shouldn’t drive.”

  “Besides,” Barney said, tousling Sarah’s dark curls, “how often do I get to chauffeur two gorgeous ladies?”

  Sarah giggled. “I’m not a lady yet.”

  “Oh well, a beautiful lady and a gorgeous little girl, then.”

  Once outside, Barney took Sarah’s hand as they walked along the sidewalk to his truck. Taffeta noticed that he shortened his steps to accommodate the child’s shorter stride. She bit back a smile, thinking what a wonderful father he would be.

  Instead of heading straight home, Barney treated them to lunch at Dizzy’s Roundtable Restaurant. Sarah was fascinated by the revolving dining area, which Taffeta knew had been Barney’s intent.

  “Do people really get dizzy on this damned thing?” Sarah asked him.

  “Watch your language, missy,” Barney said firmly. “As for your question, I don’t know. But I don’t think so. It goes too slow. Do you feel dizzy?”

  Sarah’s curls bounced as she shook her head. “Nope. I only feel hungry.”

  Once they got to Barney’s house, Sarah was equally fascinated by Barney’s farm animals. She chortled over the chickens and tried to get the rooster to crow. Barney let her help feed the horses and Mary Lou. Sarah noticed the cow’s huge stomach and asked why it was so fat.

  “We think she’s about to have a baby calf,” Barney said.

  “And it’s in her tummy?” Sarah asked.

  Barney sent Taffeta a look that begged her to take over.

  Taffeta bit back a grin. “All female mammals carry their babies inside them,” Taffeta told her daughter. “They have a special place called a womb where the babies are safe, warm, and fed until they grow big enough to be born.”

  As children will, Sarah accepted that explanation without further comment and moved on to ask questions about the horses. Why did they have elbows on their back legs and not on their front ones? Why were their manes and tales so long, and the rest of their hair was short? How could they eat cookies that were so hard that they cracked people’s teeth?

  The child scampered around the farm with what seemed like boundless energy and protested when Taffeta said it was time to go inside and make dinner.

  “But this is so fun, and I’m not hungry!”

  Taffeta was sorely tempted to give in and spoil her dau
ghter rotten. But in the end, she knew that would be a disservice to Sarah. “You can help me and Barney cook,” she offered instead.

  Sarah peered up at Barney as the three of them walked to the house. “Do you and my mommy live together? My mommy said once that you moved out.”

  “We decided that it was a mistake for me to move out,” Barney replied.

  “How come?”

  “We’re married, and we love each other very much. Married people are supposed to be together. We missed each other too much to stay apart.”

  Sarah peered up at Taffeta. “You said I was most important! So how come did you let him come back when I still didn’t like him?”

  Taffeta chose her words carefully. “Right after your father took you back to your grandparents, you were doing and saying things that little girls shouldn’t. I needed Barney’s advice on how to be the best mommy I can be, and since he’s legally your stepfather, I also wanted his help to raise you. So he and I talked, and we decided that we needed to offer you a real family, with both a daddy and a mommy.”

  Taffeta expected Sarah to protest or feel that she’d been hoodwinked. Instead she gave Barney an inquisitive look. “Does that mean you’re my new daddy?”

  Barney shrugged. “Do you need a new daddy?”

  Sarah nodded. “The one I’ve got doesn’t like me.”

  “Well, then, I’ll apply for the job,” Barney said. “I like you. I like you a lot.”

  Sarah bounced ahead of them up the porch steps. “Do you have a dog?”

  “No,” Barney confessed.

  Sarah struggled to open the door. Barney lent a hand, and the three of them spilled into the kitchen.

  “How come don’t you have a dog?” Sarah demanded.

  Barney leaned down to her eye level. “I was waiting for you to help me pick one out.”

  Sarah clapped her hands and jumped in place. “Yay! I want a great big one with long hair!”

  “Will you be happy with a puppy that will grow to be a big dog with long hair?” Barney asked.

  “I’ll be very happy with a puppy,” Sarah assured him. “We’ll have to clean up after it and be very ’sponsible, though. My grandpa says puppies pee and poop on the floor. That’s how come he’s making me wait until I’m older to get a dog.”

  Barney grinned. “Well, you strike me as being a pretty responsible little girl, and your mommy and I can help you train our puppy to go potty outside.”

  Sarah bounced up and down again as if she had springs on the soles of her shoes.

  After a simple dinner of macaroni and cheese with a side of broccoli, Taffeta gave Sarah a bath and helped her put on the pajamas that Cameron had put in the child’s suitcase. For Taffeta, fulfilling the role of mother again felt incredible. God had sent her a miracle. No, she corrected herself. God sent me two miracles, my daughter and the most wonderful man on earth. She cuddled with Sarah in the guest room bed to tell her stories. It was sheer heaven to be with her daughter again. Sarah began to yawn and blink her heavy eyelids. Taffeta found herself stifling yawns as well and wondered if it was true that yawning was contagious.

  “I love you, Mommy,” Sarah murmured. “I ’member you. When I was little, you put ribbons in my hair.”

  Tears swam in Taffeta’s eyes. Another miracle. Her daughter remembered some of the special times they’d shared. Maybe she would never recall everything, but they had a starting point upon which to build a relationship.

  • • •

  When Barney stepped to the guest room doorway to check on his wife and daughter—yes, he meant to take Sarah’s invitation to be her new daddy very seriously—he found the two of them wound around each other like yarn in a skein. Both of them were sound asleep. He rested his shoulder against the doorframe, smiling to himself.

  Even in her sleep, Taffeta had her arms locked around her little girl. She apparently feared that the child might be snatched away from her again while she drifted in dreamland. Well, old man, it looks like you’ll be sleeping alone tonight. Barney didn’t mind. He was elated for Taffeta and would happily forgo having a bed partner for the entire week, if that was how it went. All for a good cause. It wasn’t every day that a mother and child were reunited after nearly two years.

  Sighing, he walked through the house to turn off the lights, locked all the exterior doors to keep his wife feeling safe, and then made his way to his room. Stripping down to only his boxers, he climbed into bed, rolling onto his back with his arms folded under his head. He was still grinning when his eyes fell closed.

  Sometime later, Barney awakened to the light touch of feminine hands on his belly. He rolled to gather his wife into his arms.

  “You don’t need to worry about me, honey. I’m fine. Go back and enjoy being with Sarah.”

  Her response was a deep kiss that would have blown his socks off if he had been wearing any. He felt tears on her cheeks and cupped her face between his hands.

  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

  “Nothing,” she whispered. “Everything is absolutely right. That’s why I’m crying.”

  Barney kissed away the wet trails on her skin. “Well, that’s just plain silly.”

  “No. You made this possible, Barney. If not for you, Sarah wouldn’t be here tonight. I never would have had the courage to face Cameron and Grace without you beside me.”

  “I’ll be beside you as long as I have breath left in my body. I love you, Taffy. With everything I’ve got, I love you.”

  As they made love, being careful not to make too much noise, Taffeta asked, “Are you still interested in giving Sarah a baby brother or sister?”

  Barney whispered, “Damn straight. Are we on?”

  “Absolutely. If we make a baby together tonight, it’ll be born next spring, probably in mid-April.”

  “No protection, then. Watch out for swimmers because here they come.”

  She sighed as he buried the length of himself into her warm, moist depths. “Oh, Barney, I love you so much. If I live to be a hundred, I don’t think I’ll ever find the words to tell you just how much.”

  “You’ll never love me more than I love you,” he whispered.

  He quickened the tempo, and neither of them spoke again as they sank together into a current of pleasure and gratified needs. Just before he went over the edge with her, Barney fleetingly thought that they didn’t need to express their feelings for each other with words.

  Not when they had this.

  Epilogue

  Taffeta detested courtrooms. The faint scents of disinfectant and furniture wax always floated on the air, and the people who sat in the spectator area behind her fidgeted, coughed, and whispered, creating a constant drone of noise. This was the day that she’d dreamed of for nearly three years and would hopefully end with her being granted sole custody of her daughter. Only what if it didn’t turn out that way? As dearly as she loved Barney and as happy as he’d made her, she knew he had no magic wand to make all her wishes come true.

  A dull pain throbbed in her temple. Her lower back ached. Her ankles, formerly a normal size, now felt like melons ballooning over the tops of her shoes. She sighed and placed a protective hand over her swollen middle. The baby kicked just then, bumping some part of his body against her cupped palm. Barney said their boy was fated to be a soccer champion—or maybe a famous football player. Taffeta didn’t care what sport the child wanted to play; she just wished he’d stop practicing until after he was born.

  The judge entered the room just then, and the court deputy boomed, “All rise.”

  Easy for you to say, buster, Taffeta thought crossly as she struggled up from her chair. You aren’t almost nine months along. Her distended belly bumped the edge of the table, and she knew Barney was grinning even though he sat out of her sight on the other side of the railing behind her. He loved everything about her pregnancy, even his lat
e-night drives into Mystic Creek for the crazy foods she craved. Taffeta felt like a fat water buffalo and was pretty sure she looked like one, but Barney insisted that she’d never been more beautiful. The thought made her smile slightly as she watched the judge, an older man with gray hair and wire-frame glasses, take his seat at the bench.

  Before examining the documents awaiting his perusal, he scanned the packed room. Taffeta knew what caused his puzzled frown. Barney’s whole family, Phillip’s parents, and a remarkable percentage of the population of Mystic Creek were present. This evening, Barney’s parents, Kate and Jeremiah, were throwing a huge celebration party in their backyard. Other men were bringing their barbecues to help feed the multitudes, and their wives were bringing side dishes. Taffeta only hoped that a ruling against her didn’t rain on their parade.

  To the deputy, the judge muttered, “I thought this was a routine custody hearing, Rip. Do I have my wires crossed?”

  The officer turned toward the bench. “There are just a lot of family and friends present, Your Honor.”

  The judge harrumphed, snapped his gaze back to the spectator gallery, and said, “Please be seated.”

  Taffeta could no longer sit; she plopped. I’m not really nervous, she assured herself. Nothing can go wrong. Months ago, her child abuse conviction had been overturned by the Oregon Court of Appeals. Phillip had been arrested last month for perjury and drug dealing, and a week ago he had signed away all his rights as Sarah’s father in exchange for a million dollars from his dad to cover his forthcoming legal expenses. There was no way that the judge would deny Taffeta custody of her daughter today. As Barney kept saying, this hearing was a mere formality and the outcome was a slam dunk.

  Even so, Taffeta’s pulse raced. Unlike Barney, she’d once been victimized by the justice system. Granted, Phillip had orchestrated that by lying through his teeth, but it was still difficult for Taffeta to trust that she would receive fair treatment.

  The judge leafed through the paperwork. A buzzing sound filled Taffeta’s ears, and little spots danced in front of her eyes. For an awful moment, she thought she might faint. Instead she missed most of what the judge said, and her first indication that she’d been granted custody was when Barney came forward to curl an arm around her shoulders, bent low, and said, “Congratulations, Taffy. Didn’t I tell you it’d be a slam dunk?”