A Sunset in Sydney

by Sandy Barker

  Once I was dressed, I checked my makeup one last time—still perfect. I had gone with a bold fuchsia lip, lashings of mascara, and a dusting of bronzer. Finally, I stood in front of the full-length mirror to see how the whole look came together.

  I looked hot, if I did say so myself, and I was ready for the big reveal. If Josh wasn’t in love with me yet, he would be when I opened the door. Except that when I opened the bathroom door, he wasn’t there. The room was empty.

  Where the hell are you, Joshua? Hot Sarah quickly morphed into completely pissed off Sarah. I heard the key-card in the door and went back into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind me. I really wanted that big entrance.

  I could hear Josh moving about in the room and I waited about half-a-minute, so it wouldn’t seem like I’d just done the ridiculously vain thing I’d just done. I opened the bathroom door a second time, pretending to fidget with my earring, as though I had only just finished getting ready—so casual—so casually gorgeous—so …

  I stopped in my tracks and stared at the bed. Oh, my god. What? What?!

  On the bed was a giant, fluffy sea turtle, practically life-sized. It was bright green with beautiful, soulful eyes. My hands went to my mouth. So that’s where he’s been. I dashed across the room, and dropped my clutch onto the bed so I could grab the turtle and hug it.

  And, yes, I do realise that most grown women probably wouldn’t get that excited about a stuffed animal, but it was so sweet and squishy, and I loved sea turtles. Swimming with them had been one of the most peaceful, incredible experiences I’d ever had. It was an extremely thoughtful gift. At least, I thought it was a gift. I suddenly realised that maybe Josh had bought it for himself. He’d seemed pretty keen on sea turtles too.

  “Is he for me?” I asked over the turtle’s head. In that short amount of time I’d decided that he was a he.

  Josh laughed and came over. “Of course! You’ve stared at it in the gift shop window about a hundred times since we got here.” That was true—even before we swam with the turtles, I’d been eyeing him off.

  “I love him,” I said, hugging the turtle tighter. I love you for getting him for me. I didn’t say that last part, but it was the most thoughtful and romantic gift I’d ever been given. It was for playful Sarah, fun-loving Sarah, the Sarah who laughed underwater and fell in love with the craggy little faces of sea turtles. It was for me.

  “I did worry about how you’ll get him home. I hope it will be okay. I can help squash him into your suitcase, if you like.”

  “I’ll just take him on the plane with me. He’ll be like a pillow.” Josh seemed to like that. I tried to ignore the niggling reminder that we only had a couple more days together before the turtle and I would be on a plane to Sydney, while Josh flew off in the other direction. The goodbye loomed ominously; it would be easy to succumb to melancholy if I wasn’t careful.

  “And what are you going to call him?”

  Happy for the distraction, I thought for a moment. “He’s called Maui.” Josh smiled at me and gave me a gentle peck, leaving my fuchsia lips un-smudged, just like the thoughtful sort-of boyfriend he was.

  “I like it, but you may have to leave him here for the night.” He was teasing me, but I didn’t care. I put Maui carefully on the bed with his head resting on a pillow.

  “Bye, Maui,” I said quietly. I picked up my clutch and turned towards Josh.

  “Ready?” he asked. I nodded. He placed a hand on the small of my back as I walked past. “You look fantastic, by the way.”

  “I know,” I replied playfully.

  “And, cool shoes.” I nearly stumbled in those cool shoes as I walked out the door, my mind plummeting back to an incredible night in London and the first time I slept with James.

  Josh. Josh. Josh. Why was it so hard to just be with the man I was with?

  I paused to wait for him, taking in how handsome he looked. It’s not always about you, Sarah. He was wearing a pair of dark-wash jeans, which hugged his thighs just enough to be spectacularly sexy, and a pair of shiny black dress shoes. He wore a crisp white shirt opened to the third button, highlighting the tan he’d got since we’d arrived. He was cleanly shaven, and his hair was still a little damp from his shower, defining some of his curls. And he smelled divine, like sandalwood and sex.

  “You look fantastic too,” I said with genuine admiration.

  He cocked his head to the side. “Thanks!” There was a flash of his brilliant smile and in an instant, all traces of James were erased from my mind. Josh. Beautiful, funny, adorably sexy Josh.

  *

  “And then, he took me on a ride along the coast on a motorcycle and we watched the sunset together. It was magic,” Siobhan sighed. She’d had a fun couple of days with Paddy and I was happy for her. She was in the front seat of the taxi, and Josh and I were holding hands across the back seat—like a real couple and not just travelling fuck buddies. Yes, I was still a little hung up on that.

  “So, Siobhan,” said Josh, “do you think you and Paddy will see each other again after this?” I hoped Josh didn’t feel me tense up. Where’s he going with this?

  “Oh, like you and Sarah?” I was pretty sure from the tone in Siobhan’s voice that she was “Team Sarah”. I wondered if Josh noticed, but if he did, he pretended not to. Or, he was back-pedalling like a MoFo.

  “Yeah, sure, like us, I guess.” Oh, god, please stop talking. And please don’t say the V-word.

  Siobhan wasn’t having it. “Oh, no, I mean, Paddy and I are just a bit of fun. I mean, I was supposed to be married right now. We’re a holiday romance—nothing like you two.”

  Bahahahahahahahahaaa. I was laughing on the inside. On the outside, I looked out my window and said nothing. Josh squirmed in his seat a little and I was glad—perhaps a little too glad. It was not my finest moment.

  “Here we are,” said the driver as we pulled up outside a gated home, its gates wide open. When I opened my car door, I could hear music.

  Siobhan paid the driver while Josh and I got out of the taxi and waited for her. “Hey,” he said, pulling me towards him with one hand. In the other, he was carrying a one-litre bottle of vodka.

  I met his gaze. “Hey,” I said back.

  “You’re beautiful, you know?”

  I smiled tautly, still stinging a little from how uncomfortable he’d been in the taxi. “Thank you.”

  “No, I mean that. I’m glad we weren’t just a holiday fling.” What?!

  My breath caught in my throat and I stared at him wide-eyed. What he’d said—that meant what I thought it did, right? And had he felt that way since Greece, or was it Siobhan’s words that made him realise? Either way, it felt like a pivotal moment for us and tears prickled my eyes. I blinked them away—all that mascara!

  “I feel that way too,” I replied, my voice thick and raspy.

  He kissed me hard—smudging my lipstick, but I didn’t care—just as Siobhan opened her car door. “All right, you two, the night is young. You’ve got plenty of time for that,” she teased.

  Josh and I broke apart, both wearing embarrassed smiles, and his eyes locked onto mine. He seemed about to say something else, but Siobhan broke the spell. “Come on,” she said, linking her arm through mine and pulling me away. I linked my other arm with Josh’s and the three of us walked up the driveway like we were off to see the wizard or something.

  The party was going off, as we like to say in Australia. And the house! It was a gorgeous beach-style mansion decorated in neutral colours, with lots of natural textiles and light-wood furniture. I could have moved in right then had there not been seventy-five people—dancing, drinking and laughing—filling every room.

  We were greeted at the door by a stunning Hawaiian woman wearing a bikini top and—I kid you not—a grass skirt. She looked like she’d stepped off a postcard. “Aloha!” she said with a huge smile of perfect white teeth. She placed a lei around each of our necks.

  Siobhan leant close to my ear. “Fecking ’ell, how
gorgeous is she?”

  I turned my head so I could talk into her ear over the music. “I know! Ridiculous.”

  “Almost as hot as us,” she quipped. I barked out a laugh.

  “What’s that?” asked Josh loudly.

  “I said, let’s find Paddy,” Siobhan practically shouted—the music was extremely loud. She grabbed my hand and I grabbed Josh’s just as she pulled me through the crowd. We emerged onto a patio that was lit by fairy lights and tiki torches and ran the length of a long narrow pool, girls in teeny bikinis and guys in boardshorts bobbing about in it. It looked inviting, but I was happy to stay dry and looking fabulous.

  A bar had been set up next to the pool, and Siobhan squealed—actually squealed—when she saw Paddy shaking a cocktail over his shoulder. She pulled harder on my hand and made a beeline for the bar. “Excuse me,” she said, pushing through the small crowd of people lining up for drinks. She reminded me of Cat. Maybe that’s why I’d loved her almost instantly.

  “Hey!” said Paddy, a grin flashing across his handsome face. Siobhan dropped my hand and grabbed his face with both of hers, giving him a massive smack on his lips. “You look amazing,” I heard him say. She grinned, then turned to us.

  “You remember my friends, Josh and Sarah?” she asked. I hoped it was a rhetorical question. He must have met fifty new people each day at his job.

  “Of course! You’re the one who giggles underwater,” he said. He did remember us!

  “Guilty!” I laughed and raised my hand in a wave. “And thank you for the invite,” I added. He shook his head as if to say, “no worries”.

  Paddy decanted the cocktail he was shaking into a red plastic cup—yes, those cups from American movies are a real thing—and handed it across the bar. I watched the tiny blonde recipient take the drink with a pout, clearly disappointed that Paddy only had eyes for Siobhan. Siobhan and Paddy were oblivious.

  “Oh hey, we brought this for the bar,” said Josh, handing over the vodka.

  “Oh, that’s grand. Thanks guys.”

  “So, they’ve got you working tonight?” asked Josh.

  “Oh, we’re all chipping in some time behind the bar. There’s a few of us here. I’ll be wrapping up soon, actually.” He turned to Siobhan. “Then I’ll be all yours.” He leant down and kissed her and she giggled. They were so damned cute together.

  “What can I get you?” he asked us.

  “Whatever you got going, man,” said Josh.

  Paddy held up a finger. “Leave it with me.” A few minutes later, he handed over three cups. “Sláinte,” he said, holding up a fourth. We all tapped cups and took sips.

  “Paddy,” I said, looking up at him in wonder, “it’s friggin’ delicious.” It was also incredibly strong.

  “What is it?” I asked. He just raised his eyebrows at me and smiled. He wasn’t saying. Definitely rum and lots of lime, and a lot of other things I couldn’t quite name. I was going to have to pace myself.

  I took in more of the party-scape while I sipped my drink. From what I could tell, there was an interesting mix of locals, ex-pats, and visitors amongst the guests. I wondered again what it would be like to live in Hawaii, and I imagined there would be a transitory nature to friendships, and likely relationships, with those three groups constantly in interplay—a bit like Paddy and Siobhan.

  Paddy soon handed off his bartending duties, then took Siobhan’s hand and pulled her onto a makeshift dance floor. With Siobhan off with Paddy, Josh steered me away from the bar crowd and towards the view. I let him lead me through the partygoers to a low garden wall, where we sat, half-turned towards the ocean. I took another sip of my drink.

  “I think Paddy must have gone to the Duncan school of bartending,” I said.

  Josh took a small sip of his drink. “I hear you. Besides lime, I can’t even figure out what’s in here.”

  “Basically, a shit-tonne of booze.”

  “Well, that, yes. It’s good, though. Better than Duncan’s.” He held his cup aloft, “Sorry, Duncan, wherever you are.” I giggled. Even if he was there, I didn’t think Duncan would have cared. He probably would have agreed.

  I turned to look at the ocean. The sun had set hours before, but there were lights from the houses along the coast reflecting onto the water, and the sky was clear, and the moon was full. How cool to get a full moon on New Year’s Eve.

  “God that’s beautiful!” I said. “Look!”

  “I hadn’t even realised it was going to be a full moon. Come on.” He stood and held out a hand. I tucked my clutch under my arm so I could hold both his hand and my drink, and we found the gate that led out to the beach.

  “Hang on,” I said, as I stopped to slip off my sandals. I left them next to the gate.

  “Oh, yeah. Good thinking.” He let go of my hand to take his shoes and socks off, tucking them next to my sandals, then took my hand again, smiling at me. God, that smile. Utter Swoonsville.

  We walked towards the water and then slowly along the beach, occasionally letting a gently lapping wave catch our feet. The sand was gritty, not the powdery soft sand I’d imagined Hawaii’s beaches to be made from, but I didn’t mind. It made me aware of every step, a reminder to savour these moments with Josh. We only had two days left together and I felt a sudden twinge of sadness.

  It’s too soon to have to say goodbye again. We’ve only just got back in sync.

  “So, New Year’s resolutions?” Josh asked, a smile in his voice.

  “Sorry?” I’d been completely lost in my gloomy thoughts.

  “What was it that Duncan would say? ‘You off with the fairies?’” I laughed.

  “Oh, I miss Duncan,” I whined.

  “Yeah, he’s a good bloke,” he said in the worst Aussie accent I’d ever heard.

  “Wow, busting out the Aussie-isms. Look at you!”

  He pulled me close to him. “No, look at you.” Then he kissed me. It was one of those Nicholas Sparks movie kisses, all dreamy and moonlit and scrummy.

  “You’re a pretty romantic guy, you know,” I said, resting my cheek against his chest. He put his arms around me and I sighed. How lovely to be held like this.

  Especially after I’d spent months going home to my flat alone. Sure, I’d been filling my life with new endeavours and outings, but once I’d realised that I did want to be in love, to have a partner and make a life with them, I’d become acutely aware of that empty spot next to me in my bed. No number of cuddles from Domino could make up for what I missed—feeling like I did in that moment with Josh—

  “So that’s a ‘no’ for New Year’s resolutions, then?”

  I broke the hug and started walking again, shaking my head at him. “You dork. We were having a moment, don’t you know?”

  He caught up. “Yeah, but in my defence, this whole romance thing is new to me. Or, at least, I’m a little rusty.”

  “Dork!” I shook my head at him again and rolled my eyes. I was glad there was a full moon so he could see my face while I made fun of him.

  “I wear the mantle proudly.”

  “You know, I usually do make resolutions.” I said, getting back to his question. “Actually, scratch that—I don’t make them, I agonise over them.” “But not this year?”

  “Well, no. You see, I read this blog post last week about New Year’s absolutions.”

  “Absolutions?”

  “Yep. That’s where you only resolve to absolve yourself of something.”

  “Hah!” he laughed. “Love it.”

  “Yeah, you like that?” I asked, adding my own laugh. “You’re thinking about what to absolve yourself of now, aren’t you?”

  He nodded, grinning. “Guilty, but I’ll wait. Tell me yours.”

  “Well, the first one is probably obvious. I absolve myself of writing resolutions.”

  “So, the equivalent of the infinite wishes wish?”

  “Exactly! So, with that out of the way, I’ve been thinking about all the things on my ‘should list’.”

>   “Should list?”

  “Yeah. You know? I should do this, I should do that,” I replied.

  “Sounds like you’re quite the taskmaster.”

  “You have no idea. Anyway, the biggies I came up with are”—I held up my thumb—“catching up on Game of Thrones—”

  He interrupted me. “What’s wrong with Game of Thrones?”

  “Too many characters!” He shook his head at me. “Moving on! Two: drinking kombucha, or coconut water, or apple cider vinegar.”

  “Well, that’s just common sense. Those are all disgusting, especially coconut water.”

  “Exactly! Not to mention that the so-called ‘health benefits’ are somewhat dubious.” I did the air quotes—don’t judge me.

  “You’re very passionate about this.”

  “I am.” I lifted my chin proudly.

  “Anything else?”

  “Well, the last one is a little vain and makes me sound like a total chick, so I’m not sure I want to say it.”

  He laughed. “Sarah, I’ve seen you without any makeup on many, many times.” Okay, Josh, thanks for the reminder—maybe dial it back a bit. “I think you can tell me your last absolution.”

  I chewed on my lip, considering it. But what about mystery? Wasn’t it the key to keeping the romance alive? I didn’t want to become one of those couples who went to the toilet in front of each other— if we actually were a couple. I mean, who does that? No, really, who?

  I digress.

  What I didn’t want to tell Josh was that I had absolved myself of going grey. I was starting to accumulate quite a few of the little grey buggers, and I’d be damned if I was going to be one of those women who gave in to nature. I wasn’t even forty yet and one of my boyfriends was a Millennial. I was keeping my standing monthly appointment to get my roots done, damn it!

  “No, you don’t need to know. Consider it secret women’s business.” I avoided his gaze in case I caved under the scrutiny of those ridiculously gorgeous grey eyes. “So, what about you?”