Laundry Love

by Patric Richardson

  Now let me tell you about another cardigan. It’s the Coogi cotton cardigan, circa 1995, that should be folded and put away with my other sweaters. Unfortunately, despite how much I love these colorful sweaters, I’ve never found the right one to buy. When they were first popular, I sold them at McAlpin’s department store. Even when they fell out of favor, and then again when they came back in style, I continued to search. To this day, every once in a while, I look online for a vintage Coogi cotton sweater. I know there’s one out there for me. I’m just holding out for my ideal.

  And then there’s shopping destiny—like my first-ever trip to New York, where I walked into a Polo store and found the cardigan that I’d been told over the phone was sold out. They had one left and it was in my size.

  So what’s your version of a cardigan? Is it a great blazer? A beautiful blouse? A stunning pair of shoes? Keep that in mind when you shop. Perhaps you own a couple of great jackets, but now, understanding how you can care for blazers at home, you can add a truly noteworthy one to your closet.

  Again, be open to newness. Sometimes it’s fun to spring for something outside your comfort zone. People are too afraid to make mistakes in their clothing choices, but doing so is never really a mistake if you love it and it makes you feel fantastic. Remember: What looks best on you is what’s best—it’s not necessarily the most expensive item. Buy the garments you love, treat them with care, and they’ll last a long time.

  Pulling an Outfit Apart

  Most people think about putting an outfit together. It sounds counterintuitive, but I advocate for pulling an outfit apart. That’s because most of us get stuck in a rut, always wearing our outfits in unvarying ways: the same shirt and the same pair of pants with the same shoes. It worked once before and it looked good—so why upset the apple (or clothing) cart?

  But pulling apart your outfits is the best thing you can do to expand your wardrobe—you’ll find so many more outfit options that way. And now, because you’re washing your entire wardrobe in one day, all your clothes will be available to you at once. You’ll be able to look at everything together and reimagine your outfits in fresh, new ways.

  Looking for inspiration? Here are some ideas:

  First, the next time you shop in a favorite clothing store, go in with an open mind and ask for help from the employee who looks like she really loves clothes—the one who looks pulled together but in a personal way. For example, ask for help from the guy who’s wearing a great suit paired with Converse sneakers and a colorful tie rather than the sales rep dressed from head to toe in Armani (although I do love Armani—Armani is a genius). Then welcome his or her recommendations—even if you need to mull them over for a day or two. Who knows? You might discover something that looks absolutely amazing on you that you’d never previously have given a second glance.

  Second, take a good look at the people whose everyday style you admire. Make a mental note when you’re at work or out for dinner, or surf online for images of outfits that you’re drawn to. Then put together your own versions of these ensembles. If you’re drawn to those styles, chances are you’ve got similar pieces in your closet already—maybe you’ve just never combined them in such a way. Now just put your own spin on them.

  Third, consider buying inexpensive basics, like T-shirts and polos, from manufacturers whose quality you can count on. Then mix them in with your higher-quality, perhaps more-expensive, items. This high-low fashion approach is one I rely on often. For example, I have no problem wearing a discount-store polo under my Zang Toi cardigan.

  I take this high-low approach with my clients’ clothes as well. A few years ago, my friend and client Cassie—always eclectic and sophisticated in her fashion choices—had been invited to an evening party at a horse farm and didn’t know what to wear. I cautioned her that the outfit I planned to pull for her was a little extra, even kind of risky. “Ship it,” she said, and soon Cassie was slipping on a denim shirt and a wide western belt mixed with a white-lace beaded skirt that was pure eveningwear. I assumed she’d wear her turquoise jewelry, which she did, and her cowboy boots, which she didn’t. She did one better—wearing brown alligator pumps that were far more luxe. Perfect.

  Here’s a high-low example from my college days: A friend of mine wore sweatshirts and jeans day in and day out, and he was looking to up his style game. So I helped him find a great navy suit—not that he’d likely wear the suit as such very often. Instead, I showed him how he could wear the pieces separately: the jacket with a T-shirt, sweater vest (à la Chandler from Friends), and jeans; or the navy trousers with a shirt and a sweater. It was a great starting point for building his wardrobe.

  Maybe you’re transitioning from academia to the corporate world. No matter your gender, a great suit or even two great suits that can be used interchangeably (e.g., the pastel jacket with the black pants or the black blazer with the pastel skirt) make a thoughtful investment.

  Now, to sum up: When no clothing is off-limits (due to your ability to care for it), shopping is much more fun. Wear everything you own. Discover your own special garment (mine is the cardigan). Don’t be afraid to pull an outfit apart. Shop with an open mind. Take note of people whose style you admire. And consider buying inexpensive basics for a high-low approach to your outfits.

  I’ll close this chapter with my store’s “codes of the house.” Great French fashion houses, such as Dior and Saint Laurent, establish rules that define them and the look of their brands. In the industry, these are referred to as codes of the house. Mona Williams’s current codes follow:

    Orange is a neutral.

    Your girlfriends are perfect for advice about TV shows; your gay friends are perfect for advice about shoes.

    As you walk out of the house, take a look in the mirror and then add one more thing.

    Calories in candy don’t count.

    Missoni matches everything.

    Pattern-on-pattern matching is easy; monochromatic is hard.

    Leggings aren’t pants.

    Go big or go home. (This especially applies to diamonds and handbags.)

    If you want it and don’t know where to wear it, it’s perfect for the grocery store.

    A motorcycle jacket looks great over everything.

    Taste is for cowards.

    Carrots are the best vegetable. Period.

    We, like the French, love jolie laide as the perfect sort of fashion sense. We just use the American term “ugly pretty” (i.e., like Prada—weird but chic).

    Shopping should be more fun than a birthday party—even a party with a pony.

  12

  Love and Laundry Are Universal

  First enlightenment, then the laundry.

  —GAUTAMA BUDDHA

  I often end Laundry Camp by sharing a final hack—one that harkens back to the idea of those bossy clothes, demanding that you dry clean or handwash or dry flat, etc. But this trick is also a shopping tip. And it works every time.

  So here’s what you do: When you’re afraid of the care instructions of a garment you really want, buy it anyway. Then, when you’re back at home, lay the item out on your kitchen counter and take a pair of scissors from your junk drawer. Now, ever so carefully, snip that tag right off. There—now that item can’t boss you around. And you can care for it exactly the way you know how.

  There’s a bigger life lesson in here. So often, we do—or don’t do—things based on fear, when, actually, if we just believed in ourselves, and in others, we would find a better way forward. A way that makes our lives easier and our outlooks sunnier. If we cut out the things that are negative or cause stress, our attitudes brighten.

  Since starting this book, the idea of doing laundry as an act of love has only grown stronger in me. I remember when my wonderful granddad died. Our neighbor knew that our family was distraught over his loss and understood that the funeral was rapidly approaching. She came knocking on our door and offered to do ou
r laundry—all the washing, drying, folding, and pressing—everything for all of us. We still talk about her generous gift of service.

  You might be surprised to learn that my partner, Ross, does our laundry most of the time. He does it because he cares. He knows how important caring for our clothes is to me and he steps up in every way. I can’t explain how much that means to me. I appreciate it every single time he does this loving thing.

  Consider how many people around the world would welcome the chance to wear freshly laundered clothes—and just how much dignity that offers. Yet so often we take this privilege for granted. Or think about a natural disaster—being able to wash and dry clothes and then, most importantly, wear clean clothes are often the first steps toward returning life to normal. Offering laundering to individuals in need has been a mission of mine, and one that’s moved me to support the donation of washers and dryers to organizations serving homeless individuals and families.

  You can view laundry as a chore and slog through it, begrudgingly and resentfully. Or you can change your attitude, and do it with zest and spunk and love. A chore is not a chore if you have fun doing it or if it makes you happy.

  I don’t think I’m overstating it to say that laundry is a metaphor for life. In fact, so many aspects of laundry can teach us life lessons. Consider these six:

  1. Don’t let those care tags be the boss of you. You call the shots and you’re in charge—of your laundry and your life.

  2. When we sort, we consider each item individually, but our wardrobes aren’t complete until they’re back in our closets. In short, we must recognize that we’re all in this together. It’s only then that we are whole.

  3. Removing a stain is no big deal. Translation? Don’t give up when you’ve made a mistake. You can fix it and move forward.

  4. Shop with no limits. In life, be courageous in going after what you want—even your wildest dreams.

  5. Certain items require special care. They’re precious—just like you and your loved ones. Sometimes our family members and friends need special loving care. And sometimes we need to be gentle with ourselves.

  6. Caring about your clothes is caring about the environment. In other words, your decisions have much broader impacts—on you, your community, and the whole world.

  It was Star Tribune reporter Aimee Blanchette who first dubbed me the Laundry Evangelist. I was hoping for the Suds Stud (kidding), but the name stuck and I’m glad it did. I do evangelize about laundry, and I truly believe that everything improves when you can do your laundry and do it well. This is my calling.

  Not long ago, I was a speaker at a home show. I was heading back to my hotel when a group of brawny guys stopped me. They wanted tips for doing their laundry and they asked lots of great questions. This happens all the time, and it no longer surprises me who is interested in laundry. Nearly everyone is, and nearly everyone cares about doing it well. No matter your age (I got started in toddlerhood), sex, gender, race, religion, nationality, or other characteristics, pretty much everyone at least thinks about laundry. Laundry is universal.

  That brings me full circle. Who could have guessed that a grandmother and a grandson hanging laundry on a line in the mid-1970s could start this movement of laundry love? With her big heart, her fearlessness, and her environmental approach to everything, Granny Dude invited me to help her. She never cared if I dropped an item on the ground (even if it meant she’d have to wash it again) or if my helping made her morning of laundry last much longer than she’d anticipated. She loved me, loved spending time with me, and loved to show me how to do my laundry.

  Here’s my parting thought: You don’t have to do laundry—you get to do laundry. And when you do laundry for others, it’s all the sweeter. That may sound trite, but it’s the gospel truth.

  Note

  1.  One very old version of this rhyme says, “Brew on Thursday.” I guess that was just their way of getting the weekend started early!

  Appendix I

  Laundry Love’s Recipes (Worth Every Stain)

  Maxine’s Punch

  1 package regular lemonade Kool-Aid

  1 package cherry Kool-Aid

  12 ounces frozen orange juice, thawed

  ½ cup sugar (Domino brand preferred)

  64 ounces pineapple juice, unsweetened

  2 liters 7UP

  Mix all ingredients, except for the 7UP, and freeze in a round bowl. When ready, place the frozen punch into a punch bowl, add 7UP, and serve.

  Wilma’s Wedding Almond Punch

  4 packages cherry Jell-O

  3 cups sugar

  4 cups hot water

  6 packages strawberry Kool-Aid

  1 small bottle almond extract

  2 large cans pineapple juice

  2 cans frozen lemonade (plus water to make the lemonade)

  12 ounces 7UP

  Vanilla ice cream (optional)

  Dissolve Jell-O and sugar in hot water. Mix in all other ingredients except the 7UP, and freeze in a round bowl. When ready, place the frozen punch into a punch bowl, add 7UP, and serve. If you wish, mix vanilla ice cream into the punch or add a small serving of vanilla ice cream to each glass.

  Granny Dude’s Blue Cheese Spread

  16 ounces cream cheese

  6 ounces blue cheese crumbles

  1 medium onion, finely chopped

  2 boiled eggs, chopped

  ¼–½ cup mayonnaise (enough to make it spreadable)

  Loaf of fresh rye bread

  Mix all ingredients, except the bread, with a hand mixer or in a stand mixer until creamy. Refrigerate before serving. Serve on rye bread.

  Patric’s Country-Style Barbecued Ribs

  1 pound of country-style ribs per person

  2 tablespoons water

  1 onion, chopped

  Barbecue sauce of your choice

  While this started as my mom’s recipe (Wilma’s), I’m claiming it, because I make these ribs so often. We use country-style ribs, because they’re meatier than baby back ribs. Trust me—these are a million times better.

  Place the ribs in a slow cooker with a tiny amount of water—just a couple of tablespoons—and a chopped onion. Cook on low for at least six hours and up to eight hours. Use a meat thermometer to make sure they’re done (180°F or so).

  Remove the ribs from the slow cooker and lay them on a platter. Then generously brush the ribs, front and back, with your favorite barbecue sauce. While I often make my own barbecue sauce, I’ve been just as happy with bottled sauce. Now, here’s the magic: Place the ribs on your grill and cook for roughly eight minutes (no need to flip) until the barbecue sauce caramelizes onto the ribs.

  Serve with mashed potatoes, peas, and fried apples. Dig in, and don’t worry about the stains. Then nap.

  Granny Jiles’s Sweet Potato Balls

  4 large sweet potatoes

  ½ stick butter

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  Boil sweet potatoes in water with butter and salt until tender. Drain and mash. Set aside.

  ½ teaspoon cinnamon

  ¼ teaspoon nutmeg

  ½ cup packed brown sugar

  ¼ cup white sugar

  ½ stick butter softened

  ½ cup chopped pecans

  1 cup crushed pineapple, drained until dry

  1 box corn flakes, crushed

  Mix all ingredients except for the corn flakes into the sweet potatoes with a wooden spoon until well blended. Form into eight balls. Then roll each ball in crushed corn flakes until well covered. Once again, set aside.

  2 tablespoons butter for buttering dish

  1 can of pineapple rings, well drained

  1 bag of miniature marshmallows

  Butter the baking dish and then place eight well-drained pineapple rings in a single layer in the dish. Place one sweet potato ball on each ring and then top each ball with three marshmallows.

  Bake at 350°F for 20 minutes. Serves eight.

  Arlene’s Sour Cream Pound Cake with Wilma’
s Chocolate Sauce

  1 cup butter, softened

  3 cups sugar

  6 large eggs

  3 cups all-purpose flour

  ¼ teaspoon baking soda

  8 ounces sour cream

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  1 teaspoon almond extract

  Beat the butter with an electric mixer at medium speed for about 2 minutes or until creamy. Gradually add the sugar, beating for 5 to 7 minutes. Add eggs one at a time, beating just until the yellow disappears.

  Combine the flour and baking soda; gradually add the flour mixture to the creamed butter, alternating with sour cream; begin and end with the flour mixture. Mix at low speed, until just blended after each addition. Stir in flavorings.

  Pour batter into a greased and floured 10-inch tube pan. Bake at 325°F for 1 hour and 20 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

  Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Remove from the pan and let cool completely on a wire rack. Serve with chocolate sauce.

  Chocolate Sauce:

  2¼ cups granulated sugar (Domino brand preferred)

  ¾ cup unsweetened Hershey’s cocoa powder

  1½ tablespoons all-purpose flour

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  1½ cups whole milk

  1 teaspoon vanilla

  Place sugar, cocoa, flour, and salt in a medium saucepan along with ½ cup milk. Whisk to combine into a thick paste. Add remaining milk, whisk to blend thoroughly, and bring mixture to a boil. Then reduce heat to low and simmer very gently for 5 minutes, whisking constantly. Remove from heat, add the vanilla, and let the sauce cool. To serve, drizzle the sauce over individual slices of pound cake.

  Cover and store any leftover sauce in the refrigerator for up to two weeks; you may warm the sauce in the microwave or on the stovetop. You can also mix the sauce with milk for great hot chocolate.

  Wilma’s Legendary Pumpkin Roll

  Cake:

  3 eggs