Damien
Page 21
Then she’d kissed him, and it felt like she was absolving him of all his faults and failures.
And yet still …
“Talk to me,” Nikki pressed, taking his hand and tugging him to one of the small couches that dotted the mezzanine, serving as cozy reading nooks.
“What time is it?” He’d tried to sleep, but had given up at least an hour ago. He’d stayed in bed for a while, simply watching Nikki breathe, so thankful that she was there beside him, and still fighting the fear and darkness that lingered from the reality of how close she’d come to being taken from him.
He’d finally gotten up, then gone to the girls’ room and pressed gentle kisses to each of their foreheads before coming down here, as if there was some sort of solace he could find in his memories.
“Almost three,” she said. “Come back to bed.”
“Not yet.”
She studied him, then nodded before settling on the couch beside him, still holding his hand. She kissed his fingertips.
“Did I fail her?”
The question had been weighing on him for days.
“Fail her?” Her brow furrowed. “Richter failed her. And Breckenridge killed her. All you’ve ever done is help her.”
“I took her virginity.” Grief and self-loathing washed over him.
“And you think that caused this?”
He shuddered. “I took her innocence so that Richter wouldn’t. And I killed him—I let him die—so he wouldn’t whore her out. I tried to save her. And I wonder if I only made it worse.”
“No. You know that’s not true. I know you’re hurting. But you’re not a stupid man, Damien. Don’t start acting like one.”
He flinched. Her words were harsh, but they were also true.
“I know. I’m feeling sorry for myself. For her, too.”
“I get that. But you’ve spent your whole life helping her. It’s not you, it’s her. And she broke a long time ago. Maybe she was simply sick, or maybe Richter broke something inside her. Maybe both. But you never harmed her. Just the opposite. You’re the reason she had moments of clarity. And maybe that makes it harder, because you saw her potential.”
He rubbed his temples, believing her words, but not yet feeling their power.
“Damien, look at me.” Her expression, both fierce and loving, captured him. “Sofia would be alive right now if it wasn’t for me. We both know it.”
He sat perfectly still, and she was right. He couldn’t deny it.
“So tell me the truth—do you blame me?”
He flinched, her words hitting him like a physical slap. “What? Nikki, what are you even—”
“Do you blame me?”
“Blame? God, no. Never.” He frowned as he focused on her, ignoring everything but the need to make sure Nikki understood that none of it—not one single moment of everything they’d been through—was her fault. Blame her? The idea was absurd. And he told her so.
“I believe you,” she said, her voice as soft as a rose petal. “But if you understand that, then you have to know that you can’t blame yourself either.” She reached out, gripping his upper arms as she earnestly held his gaze.
“It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” she continued. “Not really. It was just inside her. There was darkness there, and she fought it all her life. Sometimes she even battled it back. I think you helped her the most in keeping it down. And the other day, she fought hard enough to save me. And, Damien, she was there to save me because you saved her.”
“Do you believe that?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“I really have been feeling sorry for myself.”
“You need to grieve, I get it. I just don’t want you to drown in it.”
“I couldn’t possibly,” he said, tugging her onto his lap. “Not with you around to save me.”
Her eyes moved as she studied his face, her lashes damp with tears. “Always,” she whispered, and then she kissed him.
And then, surrounded by his memories, he pulled her close, stripped her bare, and made love sweetly and slowly with his wife.
Epilogue
Damien stood barefoot in the surf, watching as the ashes floated on the wind before finally settling on the golden-dappled waves. In the distance, the sun sank toward the horizon, casting the sky in shades of purple and orange. This was Sofia’s favorite time of day, and as he put the lid back on the now empty urn, Damien voiced a silent goodbye to his friend.
“She loved you as best she could,” Nikki said, her voice as soft as the gentle breeze.
“You always saw her clearly.”
“And you saw her through the eyes of love and family. You didn’t fail her. She was a screwed-up woman, but she was a lot less screwed up than she would have been if you hadn’t been there all those years to help her.”
“I know. I do.” He kissed her hand. “I know it, and you helped me to believe it, too.”
“But?”
He laughed at his wife’s perceptiveness. “And yet in so many ways, I was her albatross. Her trigger.”
“That’s not your fault. You’re not Atlas. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
“I don’t,” he agreed. “But I do have a very full bank account and connections to a variety of talented people. And I think that it would feel nice to help lighten someone else’s burden. To take away some of the fear and give them a little bit of hope.”
“This is what you’ve been talking to Ryan and Quincy about.”
“It is.”
“And you’re serious? A division of Stark Security?”
“You don’t like the idea?”
She studied his face, her expression so wide and open and full of love it humbled him. “On the contrary, I can’t wait to see what’s coming. But right now, will you make love to me?”
“Why?” he asked with a teasing smile, though there was nothing teasing about her answer.
“Because you’re a good man.”
The words hung for a moment in the air before the wind carried them off over the ocean. He listened to their echo as his wife drew him down to the blanket at their feet. And there, on an empty stretch of beach with the sun sinking below the horizon, he got lost in the arms of the woman he loved.
And he let himself believe her.
* * * *
Also from 1001 Dark Nights and J. Kenner, discover Indulge Me, Hold Me, Tame Me, Tempt Me, Justify Me, Caress of Darkness, Caress of Pleasure, and Rising Storm
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Indulge Me: A Stark Ever After Novella by J. Kenner
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Despite everything I have suffered, I never truly understood darkness until my family was in danger. Those desperate hours came close to breaking both Damien and me, but together we found the strength to survive and hold our family together.
Even so, my wounds are deep, and wispy shadows still linger. But Damien is my rock. My hero against the dark and violence.
And when dark memories threaten to consume me, he whisks me away, knowing that in order to conquer my fears he must take control. Demand my submission. Claim me completely. Because if I am going to find my center again, I must hold tight to Damien and draw deep from the wellspring of our shared passion.
* * * *
Hold Me: A Stark Ever After Novella by J. Kenner
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My life with Damien has never been fuller. Every day is a miracle, and every night I lose myself in the oasis of his arms.
But there are new challenges, too. Our families. Our careers. And new responsibilities that test us with unrelenting, unexpected trials.
I know we will survive—we have to. Because I cannot live without Damien by my side. But sometimes the darkness seems overwhelming, and I am terrified that the day will come when Damien cannot bring the light. And I will have to find the strength inside myself to find my way back into his arms.
* * * *
Justify Me: A Stark International/Masters and Mercenaries Novella by J. Kenner
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McKay-Taggart operative Riley Blade has no intention of returning to Los Angeles after his brief stint as a consultant on mega-star Lyle Tarpin’s latest action flick. Not even for Natasha Black, Tarpin’s sexy personal assistant who’d gotten under his skin. Why would he, when Tasha made it absolutely clear that—attraction or not—she wasn’t interested in a fling, much less a relationship.
But when Riley learns that someone is stalking her, he races to her side. Determined to not only protect her, but to convince her that—no matter what has hurt her in the past—he’s not only going to fight for her, he’s going to win her heart. Forever.
* * * *
Tame Me: A Stark International Novella by J. Kenner
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Aspiring actress Jamie Archer is on the run. From herself. From her wild child ways. From the screwed up life that she left behind in Los Angeles. And, most of all, from Ryan Hunter—the first man who has the potential to break through her defenses to see the dark fears and secrets she hides.
Stark International Security Chief Ryan Hunter knows only one thing for sure—he wants Jamie. Wants to hold her, make love to her, possess her, and claim her. Wants to do whatever it takes to make her his.
But after one night of bliss, Jamie bolts. And now it’s up to Ryan to not only bring her back, but to convince her that she’s running away from the best thing that ever happened to her--him.
* * * *
Tempt Me: A Stark International Novella by J. Kenner
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Sometimes passion has a price…
When sexy Stark Security Chief Ryan Hunter whisks his girlfriend Jamie Archer away for a passionate, romance-filled weekend so he can finally pop the question, he’s certain that the answer will be an enthusiastic yes. So when Jamie tries to avoid the conversation, hiding her fears of commitment and change under a blanket of wild sensuality and decadent playtime in bed, Ryan is more determined than ever to convince Jamie that they belong together.
Knowing there’s no halfway with this woman, Ryan gives her an ultimatum – marry him or walk away. Now Jamie is forced to face her deepest insecurities or risk destroying the best thing in her life. And it will take all of her strength, and all of Ryan’s love, to keep her right where she belongs…
* * * *
Caress of Darkness: A Dark Pleasures Novella by Julie Kenner
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From the first moment I saw him, I knew that Rainer Engel was like no other man. Dangerously sexy and darkly mysterious, he both enticed me and terrified me.
I wanted to run–to fight against the heat that was building between us–but there was nowhere to go. I needed his help as much as I needed his touch. And so help me, I knew that I would do anything he asked in order to have both.
But even as our passion burned hot, the secrets in Raine’s past reached out to destroy us … and we would both have to make the greatest sacrifice to find a love that would last forever.
Don’t miss the next novellas in the Dark Pleasures series!
Find Me in Darkness, Find Me in Pleasure, Find Me in Passion, Caress of Pleasure…
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Storm, Texas.
Where passion runs hot, desire runs deep, and secrets have the power to destroy…
Nestled among rolling hills and painted with vibrant wildflowers, the bucolic town of Storm, Texas, seems like nothing short of perfection.
But there are secrets beneath the facade. Dark secrets. Powerful secrets. The kind that can destroy lives and tear families apart. The kind that can cut through a town like a tempest, leaving jealousy and destruction in its wake, along with shattered hopes and broken dreams. All it takes is one little thing to shatter that polish.
Rising Storm is a series conceived by Julie Kenner and Dee Davis to read like an on-going drama. Set in a small Texas town, Rising Storm is full of scandal, deceit, romance, passion, and secrets. Lots of secrets.
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Shattered With You
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Charismatic. Dangerous. Sexy as hell.
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Stark Security, a high-end, high-tech, no-holds barred security firm founded by billionaire Damien Stark and security specialist Ryan Hunter has one mission: Do whatever it takes to protect the innocent. Only the best in the business are good enough for Stark Security.
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Brilliant, charismatic, sexy as hell, they have no time for softness—they work hard and they play harder. They’ll take any risk to get the job done.
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