by Tanya Bird
‘It’s nothing.’
He picked up a clean cloth and wiped gently around it. ‘It is not nothing. You are hurt.’
‘It’s just a cut.’
‘You should keep pressure on it for a while longer.’
Her fingers brushed his hand as she took the cloth from him. The touch made his stomach knot. His gaze met hers before he withdrew his hand. ‘I am a little surprised you came here. You made your feelings rather clear earlier.’
‘Not clear enough, apparently. Six thousand denarii. You played right into Gallus’s game.’
‘I did.’
She watched him for a moment. ‘How am I supposed to pay you back?’
‘You are not supposed to.’
Brei glanced at the door. ‘I’m sorry for ruining your evening.’
‘Please. You saved me from it.’ He held her gaze, unmoving. ‘Tell me why you came.’
She gave a small shrug. ‘Probably just delirious after the knock.’
One corner of his mouth lifted. ‘I suppose I should be thankful it was a hard knock, then.’
Brei swallowed thickly before speaking. ‘I want to hate you.’ The confession came out on a breath. ‘I want to hate you, and I want to blame you for everything. Instead, I come to you for refuge.’
‘Why is that?’ His own voice was barely above a whisper.
She thought for moment. ‘Perhaps because I see you. Not the legate or the senator, just you.’
‘And what do you see?’
Her eyes moved over his face. ‘A misfit. A man with no real power to change anything.’
‘Not true. I could return to the senate and vote on decisions if I wanted to.’
She leaned back so she could look at him better. ‘Would that fix what’s broken in your world?’
Nona returned to the room with another jug of water. Neither of them broke eye contact. After she had placed it on the table, she picked up the comb and turned to Brei. She froze when she saw them. ‘I’ll come back later,’ she said before fleeing the room.
Nerva waited for Nona to leave before replying. ‘No, it would not fix everything.’
Brei held the side of the stool with one hand while the other kept hold of the towel around her. ‘Am I a fool to trust you?’
He shook his head. ‘You can trust me.’
Her tortured eyes stared at him. ‘Would you trust someone you couldn’t forgive?’ Her eyes were glassy again, as though she might cry.
Without thinking, his hand went to her cheek. The backs of his fingers touched her gently, fearing the slightest amount of pressure would send her scurrying back from him. ‘You do not have to forgive me to let me help you. I am not entirely sure I forgive me.’
Brei slid forwards on the stool, knees pressed together. ‘You took everything from me.’
‘We were at war.’
‘We still are.’ Her voice was quiet.
He shook his head. ‘Our fight is over.’
She tipped forwards and kissed him. His entire body tensed at the sensation of her mouth on his. He remained still, afraid of scaring her off by reacting. He need not have worried, because her hands slid into his hair, fingernails scraping. All of his self-control evaporated. He dropped down onto his knees in front of her, one hand cupping her face as she opened her mouth to him. His other hand went to her bare thigh, higher up than he had intended, the tips of his fingers brushing the edge of the towel. Her knees opened, and before he knew what he was doing, he lifted her off the stool and pulled her against him. Legs wrapped him so tightly that he was lost in the heat of her. When she pushed her hips against him, he had to bite back a moan.
He was not a moaner.
He felt like a young man experiencing a woman for the first time; every sensation felt new and overwhelming. Her fingers gripped his hair so tightly that he was having trouble deciphering between pleasure and pain.
Pleasure. It was definitely pleasure.
‘I just want to forget,’ Brei whispered as she tipped her head back and guided him to her throat.
His hungry mouth consumed her. ‘What do you want to forget?’ He spoke the words against her skin, unable to pull away.
‘All of it.’
The emotion in her voice, the pain, made him stop and look at her. She sucked in a breath when his lips left her skin. ‘You will never forget,’ he said. ‘The moment you wake in the morning and look across at me, it will all still be there between us.’
She looked down at his lips. ‘Who says I’m staying until morning?’
‘I am going to need the entire night if you truly want to forget.’
A smile played on her lips. ‘You must think yourself quite the lover if that’s how you see this playing out.’
He gave her a cocky shrug. ‘Roman soldiers are built for longevity.’
She guided his mouth back to her throat. ‘Let’s see if you can hold the line, soldier.’
Sunlight streamed through the large window, and the bed was cold next to her. Nerva had been very much beside her when she had finally drifted off to sleep before sunrise. She immediately missed the warmth of him.
Blinking, she waited for her eyes to adjust to the blaring light. She knew it was late in the morning from how high the sun was sitting in the sky. Pushing herself up, she hugged the sheet to her and looked around the room in search of Nerva. She gasped when she saw a beautifully dressed woman sitting in a chair just a few feet from the bed.
‘I had a similar reaction when I discovered you sleeping in my son’s bed,’ the woman said. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line, her stare venomous.
Brei tugged the sheets a little higher, but the woman’s gaze seemed to penetrate the fabric, assessing every inch of her. ‘Where is Nerva?’
The woman winced when Brei spoke. ‘Gods, and a foreigner too.’ She drew a calming breath, one finger tapping on the arm of the chair. ‘Nerva is not one for lying about in bed during daylight. A man of his status is always busy.’
Brei glanced at the clean clothes Nona had brought her. They were still folded neatly on the table some distance away. ‘And who are you?’ She suspected she might already know the answer.
The woman’s expression darkened. ‘I am the lady of this house.’
Brei had been afraid of that. Lady Aquila. She cleared her throat. ‘Is Nerva expected to return soon?’
Aquila tilted her head. ‘I think it best if you are long gone before he returns.’
It should have come as no surprise to Brei that his mother would not approve of her. It did not help that she was a mess of cuts, scars, and bruises. ‘Perhaps if you afford me a little privacy, I could dress.’
Aquila’s finger continued to pound the chair as she stared at Brei. ‘In the twenty-nine years my son has lived in this house, he has never had a woman in his bed. He is far too private about such things. I am trying to figure out why you are here. Perhaps he is trying to send me a message.’
‘Or perhaps the others just leave before you wake,’ Brei suggested.
Aquila smiled for the first time, but it was not a friendly smile. ‘Absolutely nothing happens in this household without me knowing about it. Now tell me, how did you get your claws in my son?’
What was Brei supposed to say in response to that? That in their attempts to kill one another on the battlefield, an attraction had formed? ‘Maybe ask Nerva about that.’
‘I am asking you.’ Aquila’s hand went to her brow suddenly. ‘Oh, please tell me you are not the slave girl he was making enquiries about upon his return.’ She looked exhausted by the realisation. ‘I thought he had forgotten all about you.’
Brei was having difficulty imagining Nerva being raised by the woman in front of her. ‘I’m no longer a slave.’
Aquila looked heavenward. ‘Nerva has it in his head that he must help everyone less fortunate than himself. Instead, he should help them accept their proper place in the world.’ Her hand returned to the chair, and her finger resumed tapping. ‘You understand
that last night was nothing more than an act of pity?’
Brei said nothing.
Aquila looked her up and down for a moment. ‘What is it you want? Coin? A position in a noble household, perhaps?’
Brei frowned. ‘I have employment.’
‘Then what?’ Aquila appeared to be losing patience. ‘Do not tell me you were foolish enough to develop feelings for a man so far out of your reach.’
Brei looked again at the clothing and considered dragging the sheet with her to fetch it. She needed to get out of there. ‘I really don’t want anything from your son. Right now, I just want to leave.’
Aquila did not even blink. ‘But how can I ensure that you do not return? The city is full of rodents. You get rid of one and another appears.’ Her tone was so calm, so matter-of-fact, as though she was not aware of the poison coming from her mouth.
Brei sat a little straighter. ‘You’ve made it clear that you don’t want me here. I won’t be rushing back.’ She was getting angry now. It was best she left before she started throwing things.
Aquila leaned forwards slightly in her chair. ‘Let me be very clear about something. My son is to be married soon. His betrothed comes from a noble family, the small portion of Rome’s elite worthy of such a man. You are nothing but a scab on society.’ She paused to watch the effect of her words. ‘And you will soon be forgotten.’
Brei did not know whether to laugh or take the sheet from around herself and shove it down Aquila’s throat. If she had not been Nerva’s mother, Brei’s reaction would have been very different. ‘Now let me tell you something.’ Her expression hardened. ‘Where I come from, women like you would not last five seconds. A woman whose only contribution is procreation is an embarrassment. The Maeatae don’t need slaves to dress and feed them, and because they are competent mothers, they also raise their own children. I can grow my own food, skin an animal to make clothes, break a horse, and shoot an arrow accurately over two hundred yards. I can outrun wild animals, track my enemy, and kill a man with my bare hands. I am the daughter of a chief, which, where I come from, makes me higher up on the social ladder than you.’
Aquila’s eyes widened slightly, the tips of her finger pressing into the chair. ‘Get dressed, and get out of my house.’ She stood, her back as straight as an arrow. ‘And stay away from my son. I can make a nobody like you disappear without a trace, and I will not think twice about doing so for the sake of my family.’ With her head high, she glided from the room.
The moment Aquila was gone, Brei leapt from the bed and snatched the clothes off the table.
Chapter 25
Nerva had not wanted to leave Brei alone at the house, but he needed to organise a safe place for her to stay. His sister’s return to the city had worked in his favour. The house they had rented by the river could accommodate Brei also. He would tell her the arrangement was for Mila’s benefit, that she needed help with cooking and cleaning, some company, and someone to wear the twins out. Any sniff of charity and Brei would not even consider it.
The moment he returned to the house to share the news, he could feel the tension in the air. His bed was empty, not one sign that Brei had ever been there. He had been driven completely mad by her all night. Never had he been so intoxicated by a woman, so wholly at her mercy. Brei had completely surrendered to him, then demanded more and more until he collapsed beside her feeling reborn.
He searched the house for his mother, finding her in the tablinum. ‘What did you do?’ he asked from the doorway. She was sifting through fabric samples and did not even look up.
‘Whatever are you talking about?’
He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Where is Brei? I should have known it was not safe to leave her here alone for one moment. Need I remind you that those are my private rooms?’
Aquila finally looked up, stroking a neat curl of hair that hung down one shoulder. ‘If you are asking after the foreign slave girl you had in your bed last night, Tertia saw her scurrying from the house not long after you departed.’
Nerva nodded. He did not have the patience to get into it with her. ‘Never mind. I will go find her and ask her myself.’ He marched back through the house and headed for the front door.
‘Nerva,’ his mother called from the other side of the atrium.
He turned to look at her. ‘Yes?’
‘Do not go to her. No good will come of it.’ She clasped her hands in front of her. ‘If word of this gets back to Camilla’s family—’
‘I have made no commitment to Camilla. You are the one leading the girl astray, not me.’
‘Be sensible.’
He turned away. ‘I have to go. I will speak with you later.’
‘Nerva.’
He kept walking. Nona must have heard the exchange, because she was waiting at the door for him. She opened it as he approached.
‘Good luck,’ she whispered as he passed.
He winked at her and continued through the door and down the steps.
When Nerva could not find Brei at her room on Vicus Patricius, he made his way to the small arena where she trained. He recognised Otho and was about to ask if the trainer had seen Brei when he spotted her in the fighting pit shooting arrows at a pell. ‘Excuse me,’ Nerva said, stepping past him.
He stopped out of sight, watching her for a while. Her lack of clothing made him feel cold, but then he remembered where she had come from.
When Brei was down to her final arrow, she swung and pointed it directly at him, her expression fierce. ‘You should never sneak up on a warrior holding a bow.’
He wandered out, joining her on the sand. ‘Please tell me Gallus is not letting you fight with arrows now.’
‘Of course not. I’m just keeping my skills sharp in case your mother makes good on her threat.’
He exhaled and brushed a finger over his nose. ‘Ah, and what was that threat exactly?’
Brei went to collect the arrows. ‘To make me disappear.’
Surprisingly, he had heard much worse threats from his mother’s mouth. ‘I am sorry about that.’
Brei yanked the arrows out two at a time and walked back. ‘I hope you didn’t come all this way to apologise on her behalf.’
She lifted her bow again, and he waited for her to shoot before speaking. ‘Actually, I have a proposition for you.’
She reloaded the bow. ‘All right.’
‘I was with my sister this morning, and she is struggling at the moment. She could really do with some help.’
Brei turned to look at him. ‘I thought your sisters lived in Giza.’
‘Mila is here for a few months on business.’
‘What sort of business?’
He cleared his throat. ‘Her family imports spices. Mila has become more involved of late.’
Brei was staring at him like she did not believe a word he was saying. ‘And what does she need help with?
‘The house. The children.’
Brei faced the pell. ‘Sounds like she needs to visit the Graecostadium.’
Nerva crossed his arms. ‘Mila will not keep slaves. She is looking to employ someone.’
Brei turned back at that. ‘Why not?’
‘Because she grew up a slave in my household.’
Brei’s expression softened. She took a moment to piece it all together. ‘So you have asked her to employ me as a favour, hoping I’ll stop fighting for Gallus.’
Yes, but he was never going to admit to it. ‘She has a room for you. You would be safe there.’
Brei leaned on the bow. ‘I already have a place to live, and I don't need your sister’s charity.’ She stared at him for a moment. ‘You know, I don’t like your mother. She’s not a nice person.’
‘Slightly off topic, but fair enough. You are not the first to make that observation.’
‘But she’s right.’
Nerva’s eyebrows rose. ‘You are possibly the first to say that.’
Brei shrugged. ‘She is. I don’t belo
ng in your world, or your bed for that matter.’
‘She got to you. It is what she does.’
Brei turned and readied her bow again. ‘We both know that last night can’t happen again.’
‘I did not take you for one who scares easily.’
She glanced at him before releasing the arrow. ‘I’m not scared, I’m practical. You shouldn’t even be here.’
Nerva walked over and snatched the bow from her hand and held it out of reach. ‘You do not get to push me away because you are spooked by what happened last night.’
She focused on the bow. ‘I was lonely. Don’t read too much into it.’
He handed it back to her. ‘You are a terrible liar. Do you know that?’
Brei turned away from him again. ‘One of us has to be sensible.’
‘If you want to take a step back, that is fine. But do not stand there and tell me last night was no big deal. I was there. I felt it, and so did you.’
The bow dropped a few inches. ‘That’s why it can’t happen again.’ She released the arrow with extra force.
Nerva was usually the practical one, but all sense left him when it came to her. ‘Fine, but there is no rule saying we cannot be friends.’
She turned back to him. ‘We’re still at war with one another and you’re talking of friendship.’
‘And I told you, it is not our war anymore.’
‘My people are dying at the hands of your men.’ She touched the bow to her chest. ‘My family.’
He had to look away, because she was right. He was asking too much of her. ‘Can you please just agree to the living arrangements? If I do not have to worry about your safety, I will be much more likely to leave you alone.’
She stared at him while she thought it over. ‘Is your sister nice?’
‘You are two peas in a pod. Trust me on that.’
She chewed her lip as she thought. ‘I will help out in exchange for a place to stay, no money exchanged. And I want to continue fighting for Gallus.’