by Tanya Bird
He swore inwardly. ‘Fine.’ He would get Mila to work on her.
She offered her arm, the way she had no doubt seen Gallus do when striking a deal. Suppressing a smile, he took hold of it. ‘When you are finished here, I shall take you to collect your things and we will go to the house.’
‘You don’t have to do that. If you leave the address, I can find my own way.’
‘I know you can.’ He tugged the bow from her hand again and plucked an arrow from her quiver. Taking aim, he pierced the heart of the pell. ‘But I want to take you myself.’ He handed the bow back to her. ‘That is what friends do.’
She eyed him coolly. ‘We’re not friends, remember?’
He brought his lips to her ear. ‘Oh, I remember.’ Straightening, he tucked a piece of silky chestnut hair behind her ear, remembering his face buried in it the night before. Judging by her expression, she remembered it too. ‘Now hurry up. I do not have all day.’ He walked away but could not resist a glance over his shoulder at her annoyed face.
‘Very brave to turn your back to me when I’m holding a bow, General.’
He faced forwards so she would not see his smile.
Chapter 26
‘Are you ready to cry?’ Asha said, twisting her training pole as though she had been born with it in her hands.
Brei kept her face serious. ‘Those are bold words from a nine-year-old facing certain death.’
‘I beat old people all the time.’ She twisted the pole in her hand once again.
Brei circled her. ‘Who are you calling old?’ She struck out with her own weapon, and Asha blocked it, a smile appearing instantly.
‘Felix is really old, and I beat him all the time.’
A throat cleared nearby. ‘I am not that old,’ Felix said. ‘I can still hear at a distance of eight feet.’
It was late in the afternoon, and the entire household was outside in the small garden watching what Asha had pitched as ‘a battle of epic proportions’.
Brei struck again, that time lightly clipping the girl’s ankle. ‘You just lost a foot.’
Asha’s mouth fell open, but she wasted no time feeling sorry for herself. Lunging forwards, she delivered a sequence of blows that were more than impressive for her age. Light applause followed.
‘Better,’ Mila said, pride in her voice. She was standing between Remus and Felix with her arms crossed.
Brei fought back but slowed her movements like she used to for her nephew. Any contact would sting, not bruise. Roars came from her left, and the twins charged in with wooden swords and shields that were almost as tall as them.
‘It’s an ambush,’ Asha called, spinning to face them. ‘We must work together if we’re to survive.’
Remus chuckled and draped an arm over his wife’s shoulders, and she leaned her head against him.
‘Keep those shields straight,’ Felix called to the boys. ‘We all know your sister is as cunning as your mother.’
Mila punched the dwarf’s arm, but there was a smile in her eyes.
A clash of weapons ensued, and Brei could not help but smile at the serious expressions of the children. She had been the same way as a child, desperate to prove herself, even at an age when her only responsibilities were fetching water and feeding the animals. Spinning and twisting, she allowed the boys a few pokes at her, eventually dropping the pole and clutching her side. Asha turned, disapproval on her face.
‘You never drop your weapon.’
Brei coughed dramatically. ‘Even when I’m dying?’
‘Especially when you’re dying.’ Asha raised her pole just as Caius charged at her. ‘Mother, come help us.’
Mila swooped down and snatched up two wooden swords, running into the battle to join forces with her daughter.
‘Well that’s hardly fair,’ Remus said. With a heavy sigh, he picked up the remaining sword and shield and went to stand behind his sons.
‘The pointy end faces out,’ Felix called.
Remus made a crude gesture at him behind the boys’ heads. ‘Very funny.’
Felix threw his hands up. ‘Just trying to be helpful. I know how long it has been since you held one of those things.’
They were a family of gladiators, even Felix. All three of them had at one time trained at Ludus Magnus.
‘What in heavens name have I walked into?’
Recognising Nerva’s voice, Brei turned to see his smiling face. She could not help the way her heart sped up every time she saw him—and his visits were frequent.
‘It was a fight,’ Felix said. ‘But then Remus joined.’
A wooden sword went flying in his direction, and the twins cheered. Brei moved out of the way, walking over to stand with Nerva.
‘I thought you had a dinner party tonight?’ She had to speak loudly to compete with the children.
‘I am tempted to break the engagement. Your evening looks far more appealing than mine.’
‘You can’t do that. If you don’t show up, your mother’s going to come looking for you here. Then both our evenings will be ruined.’
His gaze fell to her lips, then away. He did that a lot, and her mouth turned dry whenever his eyes lingered too long on her.
‘She is right,’ Mila called while still fighting. ‘Please do us all a favour and attend the dinner party.’
‘I just got here and already you want me gone. Can I not have a moment’s reprieve before I am forced to endure some rather bland company?’
Brei kept her face neutral. ‘I’ve seen the women you speak of, and they’re far from bland.’
His gaze snapped to her. ‘Is that… is that jealousy in your tone?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Jealousy of what? Their weaving skills?’
‘Mila could teach you to weave if you are feeling inadequate.’
She bumped her shoulder into him, reminded of all that muscle she had once explored. The memory made her cheeks heat. Thankfully, Remus spoke up before Nerva noticed.
‘There are some interesting rumours arriving with the returning troops,’ he said, knocking the sword from Mila’s hand, then wandering over to join them. ‘Some say the palace has been divided in half, the servants instructed not to talk to those on the other side.’
‘And I thought our sibling rivalry was bad,’ Mila called to Nerva.
Nerva suppressed a smile. ‘At least they both agreed to withdraw from the north.’ He glanced at Brei when he said that part. She had been close to tears when he told her. Nerva had stayed at the house, long after the others retired. The pair had sat outside wrapped in blankets, lost in memories they would rather forget. Nothing had happened between them. They had not even touched.
‘The senate is also divided,’ Nerva continued ‘Caracalla was conspiring his father’s death well before the cold finally took him. Many are aware of the fact, and those loyal to Severus are now loyal to Geta.’
Remus nodded. ‘Sound like trouble’s coming.’
‘What sort of trouble?’ Brei asked.
Nerva looked across at her. ‘A very different type of war.’
Brei’s mind raced. ‘And where are you positioned in this war?’
‘My father will support Geta if it comes to that.’
‘And who do you support?’
‘I support my father, so I suppose that means I support Geta.’
She frowned. ‘Won’t that make you a target?’
When Nerva did not reply, Remus clapped him on the shoulder. ‘I suggest you watch your back, or pay someone to watch it for you.’
‘I might steal Albaus if the situation worsens.’
He was referring to the mute bodyguard who was a part of the family of misfits.
‘I could protect you.’ The moment those words passed through Brei’s lips, she wished she could have snatched them back. Everyone in the garden seemed to look in her direction for a moment. ‘I only meant if I happened to be around, and you were relying on your own inadequate skills.’
Remus cleared his
throat, gave Nerva another pat on the shoulder, and then left them. Nerva’s eyes never left Brei.
‘You want to be my bodyguard?’ he mused.
‘I’ve saved your life enough times. What’s one more?’ She was looking everywhere but at him. ‘I’m only thinking of your family.’
‘Do you really think I would intentionally put you in harm’s way?’
Everyone had resumed what they were doing, and Brei could finally breathe again. ‘No.’ There was a long pause. ‘Just be careful.’
His expression softened. ‘Will you be here tomorrow? I thought I might come by and collect you. There is something I want to show you.’
She walked with him to the edge of the garden, away from the noise. ‘I’m training in the morning. I have a fight in the evening.’ She watched his face change. He had probably expected her to give it up by now, but she did not know how to be anything else.
‘Then I will collect you in the afternoon.’
She did not want him to go but would never admit it aloud. ‘Have fun with Camilla.’ She said things like that instead.
He reached up and brushed his thumb over her cheek. ‘I like it when you are jealous.’
Normally she would have deflected with a joke, but she turned into his touch instead before looking away. He held an enormous amount of power over her—and it made her very uncomfortable. ‘You should marry the poor girl and put her out of her misery.’
His hand fell away. ‘I cannot marry her.’
Her eyes returned to him. ‘Why not?’
He hesitated before answering. ‘It is complicated.’
‘Complicated how?’
‘I do not love her, for one.’
‘Do men like you get the luxury of marrying for love?’
He shook his head and watched the children for a moment. ‘I suppose not.’
She fought a strong urge to take his hand and press it to her lips. He deserved tender gestures like those. But she did not move. ‘At least you have the option. There are probably only a handful of men alive back home, and they will all be taken by the time I get there.’
He glanced at her, swallowed. ‘We will wait for things to settle down, and then we will find a way to get you home. You have my word.’
‘A pledge?’
‘Something like that.’
She trusted him with her life and should have been elated at the idea of going home someday. So why did she feel like her heart was breaking open?
He took her hand and squeezed it briefly. ‘I will see you tomorrow.’ He left her then.
Brei nodded and looked down at her empty hand. Every time he touched her, it left another mark on her soul. As much as she wanted to return home, she knew leaving Nerva Papias behind would test her strength.
Chapter 27
Brei circled the harnessed horses and chariot, then turned to Nerva, smiling. ‘Can I… have a go?’
Nerva was holding the lead stallion’s bridle and laughed. ‘You have no idea what you are doing.’
‘But I’m a fast learner.’
He patted the neck of the horse before wandering over to join her at the back of the chariot. There were men and horses all around the trigarium, casting curious glances in their direction. His little escapade would likely set tongues wagging all over the city. ‘All right. Up you get.’
Her eyes widened slightly. ‘You’re actually going to let me?’
‘I am coming with you, of course. These horses are very expensive, and I learned a long time ago that you only have one speed.’ He watched as she leaped into the chariot and gathered the reins, eyes lit.
Seeing her like that, he realised he could not recall ever seeing her happy. Afraid, exhausted, sceptical, defeated, heartbroken, amused perhaps, and every shade of angry, but never happy. A vague smile here and there was not the same thing when shadowed by other things.
Nerva had imagined plenty of times what she was like before all of this, before the war came to her home, before she lost so much. He had images of her riding bareback beneath tall trees, bow on her back, and her horse’s mane braided in that way he had found so amusing the day they met by the river.
He climbed up behind Brei, reaching either side of her to take the reins also. Her soft hair brushed against his chin, her familiar clean, earthy scent taking over the air. ‘We are going to take it nice and—’
Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, Brei slapped the reins on the horses’ rumps. The chariot lurched forwards. He was forced to let go and grab the side of the chariot to stop from tumbling off the back of it.
‘That is not slow.’ He was smiling as he scolded her.
Brei laughed into the wind. She actually laughed, a sound he could drown in if he were not careful. ‘Better hold on, General,’ she said over her shoulder.
His arms went around her again, taking a firm grip of the reins. He eased the horses around the bend at a canter. ‘If you wish to live, let me do this part.’ Brei’s hair whipped his face as they turned. Once they were on the straight, he handed the reins back to her. ‘I am going to let go now.’
‘Can we go faster?’
‘Absolutely not.’
For once, she listened, continuing at the same pace. When the left wheel hit a stone, the chariot bounced at an angle, causing Brei to squeal and then laugh. Nerva pressed a hand to her belly to steady her, and she turned her smiling face to him. Forget the gossip. There was no resisting her mouth in that moment. He bent and kissed her, pulling her closer so that her back filled the grooves of his chest and stomach. Her eyes sank shut as she melted against him.
The horses slowed as they approached the next bend, and another chariot overtook them, the driver muttering something as he passed. Nerva smiled against her mouth as he took the reins back from her and pulled the horses up. She faced forwards again but remained leaning against him.
‘I don’t want to stop.’
He chuckled, keeping her close. ‘We should stop before we crash.’
‘You would never let us crash.’
He rubbed his cheek against her hair. ‘You are putting a lot of faith in me, and I am very distracted right now.’
She was silent a moment as the horses slowed to a trot. ‘I trust you, you know.’
‘I trust you also—just not with my horses.’ He rested his forehead on the crown of her head as the horses slowed to a walk. ‘I will not let anything bad happen to you.’
She turned her face into his neck. ‘I want you to come to the house tonight, after the fight.’
‘Why?’ He breathed the question into her hair.
‘Because I want to see you.’
‘Why do you want to see me?’ He was going to make her say it.
She was still against him. ‘Because you’re all I have right now.’ She turned her face up to him. ‘I just want to forget again.’
His hand travelled up to her throat. ‘What spell have you cast that has me running to your bed at the click of your fingers?’
She searched his eyes for a moment. ‘It’s not just me, is it? You feel this too.’
He released his hold on her and pulled up the horses. ‘I felt it the first time I laid eyes on you, the day you fell from the sky and knocked me from my horse, and I most definitely feel it now.’
When Nerva arrived home, he was surprised to find Paulus Cordius sitting in the triclinium, drinking wine with his parents. He had not seen or heard from the newly promoted legate since returning to Rome. As content as Nerva was to step aside, the news of his replacement had still stung. As far as he was concerned, the man was not fit to lead anyone.
Paulus stood when he spotted Nerva in the doorway. ‘There he is. Our fierce leader. You have clawed your way back from death.’
As tempting as it was to turn around and leave, Nerva had no choice but to liaise with the man who had clawed his way up to replace him. He found a smile and prayed it looked sincere as he stepped inside the room, arm extended. ‘I hear congratulations are in ord
er.’
Paulus’s chest expanded to twice its usual size. ‘Big boots to fill. However, our emperor seems to think I am up to the task.’
Nerva exchanged a look with his father at the singular mention of emperor. If Aquila had noticed the slip-up, she hid it well. ‘Nice of you to make time for a social visit.’
Paulus nodded. ‘I think my men and I have earned some time off. It was tough going after you departed. The heavy losses under your command complicated things.’
Rufus shifted in his chair, and Aquila took a long drink of wine. Nerva studied Paulus before speaking. ‘It was a tough couple of years for everyone.’ He gestured for the legate to sit, then chose the lounge on the opposite side of the room for himself.
‘I was just filling General Cordius in on everything that has happened in his absence,’ Rufus said.
Paulus nodded. ‘It is helpful to take the temperature of the senate given recent events.’
Aquila placed her drink down on the small table in front of her. ‘Our young emperors must be truly devastated.’
Rufus cleared his throat. ‘It can take time for a household to settle after such a significant loss.’
‘We are fortunate to have a strong leader,’ Paulus said.
Nerva frowned across the table at him. ‘Two strong leaders.’
Paulus looked at him. ‘Is that not what I said?’
‘No. We are fortunate enough to have two strong leaders during this transition.’
Paulus sniffed. ‘Quite right.’ He stood. ‘I thank you for the refreshments. I am afraid I must be on my way. I am having dinner at the palace and do not wish to spoil my appetite.’
‘But you just got here,’ Aquila said, her tone unnaturally high. They all knew he was only there to sniff about and report back to Caracalla.
Rufus stood. ‘We appreciate you coming by.’
Another stiff smile from Paulus. ‘I am pleased to see Nerva looking so well. I can only imagine the outpouring of grief across the city had he not made it.’