Lights! Camera! Puzzles!

by Parnell Hall

  “He answered his phone. Phone company records verify the call. And do you think she’s big enough to lift Fred up and fit him up into the noose?”

  “It would be an incredible adrenaline rush, killing someone. Aren’t people under such circumstances capable of superhuman strength?”

  “I thought you were here to protect my money,” Cora said.

  “I am. I thought catching the killer would help.”

  “Don’t argue with a lawyer,” Crowley said.

  62

  crowley sent Becky off to talk to Perkins.

  Cora called that passing the buck.

  “What’s the use of having a subordinate if you can’t pass the buck to him?” Crowley said.

  “You think of Perkins as a subordinate?”

  “No, I just figured the term would piss you off.”

  Steve breezed by to get a cup of coffee.

  Cora followed behind him. “What’s this? You don’t write. You don’t call.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m filming this scene.”

  “How’s it going?”

  “Considering I’m tripping over cops, it’s going remarkably well.”

  “You shouldn’t have killed someone.”

  “They think I did it?”

  “No one thinks you did it. You’re the only person on the movie they consider innocent. It’s a grave responsibility.”

  “What is?”

  “Being innocent. You have to carry the ball for the rest of them. How’s Angela?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Is she upset about what happened?”

  “Normally so. You wouldn’t know it from her acting. The camera rolls, she’s in another world.”

  “Is that how it is for you?”

  Steve grinned. “Hell, no. I always know who I am.”

  “You knew Angela before you got on the picture.”

  “Yes, I’ve known her from other shows.”

  “I heard you in her trailer. The two of you sounded like getting you on the picture was a preconceived notion.”

  Steve hesitated. “Well, after the guy got killed, sure. She called me, said the part was available, hoped my agent would make a pitch.”

  “It sounded like more than that?”

  Steve smiled. “I assure you that’s all it was.”

  Steve snapped the lid on his coffee cup and hurried back to the set.

  “What was all that about?” Crowley said.

  “I wanted to talk to the one person on the movie we don’t suspect.”

  “What’s your verdict?”

  “I suspect him.”

  63

  cora waited for a chance to get Angela alone. “You avoiding me?”

  “No, just making a picture.”

  “That’s what Steve said. This is a good day for you guys. All your scenes together, a lot of dialogue. I hear it’s going well.”

  “You haven’t been watching?”

  “There was this murder.”

  “Yeah, that’s your specialty, isn’t it? Every project you get involved with, people die. I would think they’d start suspecting you.”

  “Believe me, they have. So far I’ve always managed to beat the rap.”

  “By being innocent?”

  “For the most part. It’s usually my best defense.”

  “Are you saying sometimes you were guilty?”

  “As my lawyer would counsel me to say, that’s exactly what I’m not saying. But getting back to you. You got a few minutes?”

  “A few minutes is all I seem to have today.”

  “You knew Steve before the picture.”

  “Of course.”

  “And you lobbied to get him on it.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “Why, is it inaccurate?”

  “No, I just wondered what you were getting at.”

  “So you did try to get him on the picture.”

  “When Fred got killed I made a phone call advising him that the part was available. His agent pitched him, and he got it.”

  “Was that a surprise?”

  “Not really. They needed someone fast, he was perfect for it. When his agent suggested him, they leapt at it. They more or less had to. They have me on a limited schedule. Contractually I have to go back to the sitcom no matter what. If they couldn’t cast someone that day, they were screwed.”

  “I get all that. The thing is, if you wanted Steve for the part, you must have wanted him for the part before Fred got killed.”

  “Before Fred got killed, I wanted anyone for the part except Fred.”

  “Did you tell Steve the part might be available before the part was available?”

  “I suggested him. They went with Fred. What can I tell you?”

  “Why would they do that?”

  “It’s the movies. Why do they greenlight a sixty-five million dollar turkey they know will fail? You can’t find one person who can explain it, but it happens.”

  “This is a little more specific than that. Why choose Fred over Steve?”

  “Oh. I thought I said so. Money. Having Steve on the picture escalates the budget. Originally, I was the gross indulgence and they cut corners everywhere else. Suddenly they had to weigh the cost of paying Steve against the cost of losing me and recasting the whole picture and starting over. It’s a no brainer. The salary difference is minimal compared to the colossal potential loss.”

  “Interesting,” Cora said.

  “That makes sense?”

  “That makes perfect sense. That’s what’s interesting. It’s the first thing about this damn case that does.”

  64

  What is it now?” Crowley said as Cora pulled him aside.

  “If I convince you that Angela and Steve killed Fred to get Steve on the picture, do you promise not to arrest them until filming is over?”

  “This afternoon?”

  “No, in three and a half weeks when they’re done filming their parts.”

  “You have got to be kidding.”

  “You can’t promise me that?”

  “Of course I can’t promise you that.”

  Cora nodded. “It’s okay, because you’re not going to believe me anyway. Angela and Steve always wanted Steve on the picture. It never happened because Steve cost too much. They figured if Fred got killed after they started filming, there wouldn’t be time to find a replacement. Which is what happened. Angela called Steve’s agent as soon as Fred was killed.”

  Crowley shook his head. “Doesn’t work for me.”

  “Why not?”

  “The first gofer girl. Anything that doesn’t explain the first gofer girl is no good. Link ’em to the first gofer girl and I’m sold.”

  “If I can link ’em to the first gofer girl, I won’t tell you until after they’re through filming.”

  “You wouldn’t do that.”

  “You think I’d let you arrest them before they’re done? I haven’t had a chance to watch today, but apparently these guys are burning up the set. If this movie has a chance to be a hit or an utter disaster I vote for the hit. A Puzzle Lady blockbuster is good for business. A Puzzle Lady bomb isn’t. I rest my case.”

  “What if it’s someone else?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Who’s guilty and stops the movie?”

  “That I can’t do anything about. Unless it’s a case of the movie proceeding with an inferior cast. In that case, I’d just as soon shut it down.”

  Perkins came up. “The director’s giving me trouble. Do I have your permission to stop filming?”

  Cora reacted as if she’d been stuck with a harpoon.

  “Please don’t mention halting filming in front of the star-struck one,” Crowley said. “If you can’t get him in between takes, question him at the end of the day when filming is over.”

  “What are you questioning him about?” Cora said.

  Perkins looked at Crowley.

  Crowley nodded. “Go ahead.”

  �
��The rental car. When he got it, where he took it, where it was overnight, and where it is now. We want to check the odometer reading. Not that it will tell us much, since we don’t have a reading for when he picked it up.”

  “Then why bother?” Cora said.

  “Because it’s there.”

  “I thought you already knew about the director having a car.” Cora said.

  “I know it secondhand. From the script supervisor, and the production manager, and one of the production assistants. I need to hear it from him. Until he confirms or denies it, he’s just alleged to have had a car.”

  “It shouldn’t take that long to question him about that.”

  “No, but every time I attempt to question him, the argument over whether he has time to be questioned takes up whatever time there is. I’ll get him when the filming is over.”

  “Do you have people to question in the meantime?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  65

  Who’s dead today?” Jennifer said.

  Cora looked at Sherry. “Did you put her up to that?”

  “Are you kidding me? I’ve been getting questions like that all day.”

  “I didn’t put her up to it either,” Aaron said. “Though I have a few questions of my own.”

  “On or off the record?”

  “Is there a difference?”

  “Absolutely. These are movie folk. I have to clear things with their publicists.”

  “Trying to goad me into saying off the record? Cora, we’re family.”

  “You can print whatever you like. I just got nothing concrete.”

  “You got any theories?”

  “None that make any sense. It was a totally uneventful day, except for the fact it rained and we had to work on the cover set. Which didn’t change anything in terms of the investigation. Not that it would have mattered, because wherever we were going to be, it wouldn’t have been the set we were on yesterday, and the set we were on yesterday wasn’t the crime scene either. So it really didn’t matter at all.”

  “Where were you going to be?”

  “Huh?”

  “If it hadn’t rained today, where were you going to shoot?”

  “I don’t know. What difference does it make?”

  Aaron shrugged. “According to you, none of this makes any difference.”

  “Let me see.”

  Cora grabbed her floppy, drawstring purse. She rummaged through it and pulled out a manila folder into which she’d been haphazardly cramming the daily call sheets.

  “Here it is. We were going to be in front of Macy’s, if that does anything for you.”

  “What does it do for you?”

  “Not much. I don’t think that they would have had to change anything, really. We’re shooting a period piece, but aside from making sure the window display isn’t too modern, I don’t see that there’s any problems.”

  “What about the cast?”

  “It’s Cora and Melvin.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Aside from a few extras going by on the sidewalk.”

  “You didn’t have extras today?”

  “None. It was all in their apartment.”

  “Bo-ring,” Jennifer said.

  Cora laughed. “She’s got you there.”

  “Me?” Aaron said. “She was talking to you.”

  “If it helps you to think that,” Cora said.

  The phone rang.

  It was Melvin. “They scrapped it again.”

  “What?”

  “Macy’s. They’re going back to Queens.”

  “What?”

  “They got a threat of rain. They scrapped the location, they’re going back to the cover set. Cora and Melvin’s apartment.”

  “Great. That’s what they shot today. They’re getting good stuff.”

  “They’re using them up. We only got so many days on that set. You use ’em all up front, what do you do if it rains then?”

  “They’ll work it out. They’ll shoot in the rain, if they have to.”

  “Do you know how much that will cost?”

  “No, do you?”

  “No, but if it puts us over budget, it’ll come out of all our profits.”

  “What profits? Come on, Melvin. You know Hollywood. There’s no net. That’s why you get everything up front.”

  “Even so. I want this picture to be good.”

  “Hoping to parlay your associate producer credit into a new job?”

  “Executive producer.”

  “What?” Cora said.

  “I’m an executive producer. I have clout.”

  “I’m an associate producer.”

  Cora could practically see the smug smile on Melvin’s face.

  “I know.”

  66

  No one was happy to be back in Queens. Even the actors, who had done so well the day before, weren’t thrilled by the prospect of doing it again.

  “It’s the late call,” Angela said. “It’s like bait and switch. You tell me we’re doing Macy’s, suddenly we’re back in the apartment. I don’t want to be a diva, but these things matter. I look over my part the day before so I show up on the set ready to go. You know when they called me last night? Never. They didn’t. They called my driver. They figured he takes me to the set, he’s the one who needs to know. Well, I’m sure he does, but I’m on the movie too. I don’t want to find out what I’m shooting when I get into the car.”

  “It shouldn’t have happened,” Sandy said. “I take full responsibility. The buck stops here. I promise you I’ll get to the bottom of this. Someone’s head is going to roll.”

  It occurred to Cora the buck only stopped at Sandy long enough for him to take his cut.

  “I don’t want someone to get punished,” Angela said. “I want someone to call me next time, that’s all.”

  Sandy turned to Betsy.

  “I’m on it,” she said.

  Steve came walking up.

  “Did you get a call about the location change?” Angela said.

  “Of course.”

  “See? He got a call.”

  “He doesn’t have a driver,” Sandy said.

  “I got my call from Melvin,” Cora said. “The executive producer.”

  Sandy looked at her. He sensed the rumblings of another potential crisis. He changed the subject. “Are the police gone? I don’t mean you, Sergeant. You’re always welcome. But the others are annoying. Kept pestering me all day long.”

  “I apologize for that. They were just trying to account for the production cars.”

  “I had one because I gave up my driver. Not to be callous, but these crimes set us back, and we had to cut corners. So I took one of the rental cars.”

  “Wouldn’t it have been easier just to take cabs?”

  “To Queens? Do you know how much it costs to take a cab to Queens? Well, you got a police car, so you wouldn’t know. The rental car’s paid for. Why shouldn’t we use ’em.”

  “Well, no one’s here today. The focus of the investigation’s shifted. I hope we won’t have to bother you again.”

  “What about Fred?” Steve said. “Has the focus of that investigation shifted?”

  “No, just moved to the back burner. Trust me, the investigation is still open.”

  “So we can look forward to your men grilling us about that?” Sandy said.

  Cora hoped Crowley wouldn’t go into the whole “they’re not my men” routine.

  He didn’t. “More than likely,” he said.

  67

  Why did Sandy hire a bodyguard?” Cora said.

  The picture had wrapped for the day, and the crew were loading the trucks. Cora and Crowley were having coffee at a small café around the corner. After a day of standing around by the catering cart, neither needed more coffee. Neither ordered decaffeinated.

  “What?” Crowley said.

  “Why did he hire a bodyguard?”

  “Why are you asking that?”

  “Because I�
�d like to solve this damn crime. I’m having no luck with the usual methods. So, come on, play ball. Help me out. Why did he hire a bodyguard?”

  “To protect himself.”

  “From what?”

  “From whoever’s trying to kill him.”

  “You think someone’s trying to kill him?”

  “No.”

  “Does he think someone’s trying to kill him?”

  “He must.”

  “Why?”

  “He hired a bodyguard.”

  “Why did he hire a bodyguard?”

  “You’re going around again.”

  “You’re going around again. You’re answering your own questions, and your answers don’t make any sense. You don’t even believe them.”

  “I do believe them.”

  “Then you don’t need my help.”

  “Damn it, Cora, don’t be like that. This is incredibly frustrating.”

  “Not to mention being an unsolved crime or two. None of which have slowed my picture in the least.”

  “I thought you lost a day off the schedule for Fred Roberts.”

  “The schedule’s the same length. They cut a scene, and the others expanded to fill it.”

  “Sounds like my diet. You gonna help me or not?”

  “I thought I was.”

  “How can you think you’re helping?”

  “I’m using the Socratic method.”

  “You’re using the Socratic method?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re asking questions and you already know the answers?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Then how can that be the Socratic method?”

  “It’s my Socratic method. I suppose there are others.”

  “Is there any main point you’re trying to lead me to?”

  “I wish there were.”

  “So you just get a kick out of asking me questions I can’t answer.”

  “It is kind of fun.”

  “Damn it, Cora.”

  “Go back to the premise. Sandy hires a bodyguard. Why does he do it?”

  “To protect himself.”

  “If he doesn’t feel he’s in danger, why does he do it?”

  “Who says he doesn’t feel he’s in danger?”

  “Take it as a premise. He’s not really concerned for his safety. Why does he hire a bodyguard?”

  “For publicity.”