by Karen Klyne
Gemma looked at the menu. “This all looks so good.”
“It does, doesn’t it?”
The waiter stood discreetly away from the table. Reece smiled and said they were ready to order.
Gemma pointed at the menu. “I’ll have the Cornish crab with passion fruit followed by the fillet of angus beef with red wine essence.”
She ordered so easily, and Reece couldn’t help compare her to the woman who used to prefer fish and chips to most anything else. She focused. “I’d like the scallop and tuna ceviche followed by the angus beef also.”
He disappeared and returned with a basket of bread. He put it on the table and took the napkins and shook each one and placed one on either lap.
He excused himself, and Gemma raised her eyebrows. “Wow. This is almost as good as Le Manoir.”
“Le Manoir?”
“Yes, you know, Raymond Blanc’s place in Oxford.”
“I’m aware. I didn’t know you’d been there.”
Gemma looked down, and her shoulders slumped slightly. “It must have been in my dreams.”
Another thing to add to her list. It seemed like Gemma’s dreams were incredibly busy with things she could do and places she’d been. What else didn’t Reece know? The waiter brought over the entrées. Both of their choices looked delicious. Reece lifted her glass. “Bon appétit.”
“Merci.”
Reece’s thoughts whirled as they ate. Gemma would have hated this restaurant before. Could she push a little to see how other things might be different? She cleared her throat. “Do you remember Cindy?”
Gemma’s eyes widened. “Should I?”
“Cindy is my girlfriend.”
Gemma took a deep breath, and then she wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I see.”
Reece waved her fork. “Sorry. When I say girlfriend, I mean she’s my closest friend. We went to uni together. She’s also a dentist. She’s married to Angie.” Reece wasn’t sure whether she slipped “the girlfriend” bit out intentionally. Had she wanted a reaction from Gemma? Did she want to make her jealous? She wasn’t quite sure, but there was no question she looked bothered.
Gemma shook her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t remember. Have I seen much of Cindy and Angie?”
“No. You always thought there’d been something between us and couldn’t let go of your jealousy.”
“Was there? Something between you?”
“No, never. Anyway, they were always inviting us out to clubs and for dinner, but you never thought it was your scene.” In fact, it had been a point of contention every time it came up, and Reece had finally stopped inviting Gemma altogether.
“Have you kept in touch with them?”
“Yes. I saw them occasionally on my own. You were quite happy with that. They’ve both been a great support to me.”
Gemma nodded and poked at a bit of rocket left on her plate. “I’m really glad they were there for you.”
“That’s the past. Anyway, Cindy’s invited us to her fortieth birthday party. That’s something else we share. The same birthday.”
Gemma covered her mouth with her hand. “Christ. Is it your fortieth this year?”
Reece laughed. “No, I took a gap year.”
“Right. So, when is this party? And do you want to go on your own? Or are you asking me to go with you?”
“It’s in three weeks’ time, and I would like you to come with me.”
Gemma nodded, looking contemplative like it was a serious decision. “I’d love to.”
Reece grinned, amazed at how easy that had been. “Thank you.”
Gemma pointed to her glass and smiled. “It’s empty. Whilst we’re on the subject, will you tell me some more about me? And about us?”
“Of course I will.”
When Gemma got her steak, she looked like she was drooling.
“I am so looking forward to this. I can’t remember the last time I had a steak.”
“You can have one any time.”
“Good. I wasn’t sure if you were anti red meat.” Gemma took several mouthfuls and put her cutlery down. “This is to die for.”
“So far, they haven’t put a step wrong.” Hopefully this, would become a regular haunt with them. If, that is, things continued to go the way they were.
When they’d finished, only touching on light topics as they ate, the waiter topped their glasses up and cleared the plates away. He said he’d be back with a dessert menu, and Reece asked him to give it ten minutes.
She took a sip of her wine, then put her elbows on the table. “Okay, here goes. We met ten years ago at the hospital. You were a health care assistant, and you brought a young man down to the theatre. He’d been in a terrible accident and was minus his front teeth. I was there to insert implants. He was really scared, but you handled him well and calmed him down. He was even laughing and joking by the time he came into surgery. Of course, I was covered from head to toe in my theatre gown complete with mask. You told me later that you were captivated by my eyes. Then we kept bumping into each other whenever I was at the hospital. Apparently, that wasn’t coincidental. Eventually you asked me if I wanted to go out sometime. I was extremely flattered. You were stunning…and still are.” Reece paused to take a drink in order to wait for Gemma’s red face to calm down. “Long story short, we began dating. You said you were bisexual, but that didn’t matter to me as long as you didn’t expect me to share you with anyone, man, woman, or other.” Reece laughed. “You really came onto me. Anyway, we had loads of fun and laughter in the early days. We didn’t move in together until about eighteen months later. Then things changed. I wanted children and always had. You weren’t particularly keen, but you agreed. You seemed intent on making me happy back then, and I foolishly believed that you’d be happy once we did it. We got married and moved into the house we’re in. In hindsight, having children was the worst thing that could have ever happened for you.” Reece took a deep breath, trying to staunch the wave of sadness that swept over her at saying that out loud for the first time. “I loved it all, but of course, I didn’t have to go through the pain and trauma. Callum was born, and two years later we had Mattie. That’s when things really started to get bad for you. I think it was postnatal depression. You saw a therapist, but then I heard from the doctor that you’d quit therapy. I blame myself. I was too busy working and not paying enough attention to all the signs. I was, and still am, absolutely obsessed with our children. I think you know the rest.”
Gemma frowned. “That’s a sad story for both of you––I mean, us. Lucky I’ve lost my memory. Saying all that, I don’t think you should blame yourself. From the sound of things, Gemma—I mean, I was always depressed.”
“What makes you say that?” Reece noticed the slip and filed it away for later.
“When my, um, mum and dad came to visit in hospital, they said I’d always been a bit of a depressive. I asked my dad about it, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye. Eventually, he said I’d been that way since I was a child. Apparently, I didn’t have many friends. He said I shut myself away from them and the world. I was always a bit down and prone to a lot of mood swings. I also had anger problems, but he wouldn’t elaborate on that. I wondered if you knew, you know, when we began dating. If so, then why would you contemplate having children with me? So, I asked him if you were aware or if they’d told you. They were both uncomfortable with the question. Eventually, my dad said he didn’t think telling you would help. At that time, I seemed happy so they didn’t interfere. So, from what I can gather, I always had mental health issues, but nobody had dealt with them.” Gemma toyed with her napkin, frowning. “At least, that’s what they said.”
So many things suddenly made sense. “Oh, my God. This wasn’t something brought on by childbirth? It was a problem that hadn’t been addressed in your childhood.” Somehow, the revelation helped. She felt a little absolved from all the guilt she’d harboured. It was like mulling it over with a third party, and yet here she was sitting opposite Gemma. Or was she?
The more she learned the more she had her doubts.
***
Alex had liked the look of appreciation when Reece had seen what she was wearing to dinner, and she hoped she’d get to see it again another time. Dinner conversation, too, had been a revelation, and once again she felt like there was a new understanding between them. It was based, at least somewhat, on false information though. Reece still thought she was Gemma, and the more Alex researched, the more she understood that person was gone, leaving Alex in her place.
When Reece had mentioned Cindy, for a moment she’d been jealous. It wasn’t like she would have blamed Reece for having a girlfriend. From what she was told, Gemma hadn’t exactly been the loving wife, and they hadn’t shared a bed in a very long time. But no, Reece and Cindy were just friends, and Alex wasn’t fool enough to mistake her relief on that score.
They had a delicious dessert, and their conversation became more light-hearted. Reece told her some funny stories about her early days as a dentist. She made Alex laugh to the point where she was holding her stomach. When they finished their wine, Reece suggested they go back home for coffee and liquors. The strong wine had gone to Alex’s head, and she thought that was a splendid idea. Reece called the taxi and settled the bill. Alex wasn’t bothered how much it cost. It was worth every penny, not that she was paying. The thought sobered her for a moment. She’d made damn good money and been proud of supporting herself. At some point she’d have to step up and contribute financially, too.
The taxi stopped outside the house, and as soon as Alex hit the fresh air, she felt woozy. Reece guided her up the drive and in through the front door. They both giggled as they made their way into the lounge.
Alex fell onto the sofa whilst Reece prepared the coffee. She brought the tray over and then went to a cabinet and opened the doors.
“What do you fancy? Cognac, Irish whiskey, Drambuie, or Grand Marnier?”
Alex rubbed her hand over her goose bumps. “Do you know, I haven’t had a Grand Marnier for years? So, yes to that, please.”
Reece poured two small glasses and put them on the table. Then she filled the coffee cups. Alex picked up her glass and raised it. “That was a fantastic evening. Thank you.”
Reece raised hers. “Here’s to many more of them.”
Alex hoped there would be. She insisted on having another, and Reece joined her. They were both jolly…possibly too much so. If it hadn’t been for the fact that the drink had made Alex tired, God knows what might have happened. When she looked at Reece, her gaze strayed down to her lips, and she wondered what it would be like to be kissed by her. Uh huh. Time to go to bed...alone. Alex yawned.
Reece glanced at her watch. “Gosh. Time really does fly when you’re having fun.”
“Sure does.” Alex stood, then toppled a little. “Whoops. I’m not used to drinking this much.” She held on to the back of the sofa then turned toward Reece. “Goodnight, Reece. And thanks again for the great company.”
“You too, Gemma. Sleep well.”
She wasn’t sure if she would, what with the alcohol and other things on her mind. She climbed the stairs tentatively, worried she might trip and fall and embarrass herself. She made it to her door and once inside, she closed it and leant on the back of the door. She recalled a conversation with Faz, and she’d asked her a question. “What happens if Reece wants more?” She’d only been living in the house for three weeks, and it was her thinking about the possibilities of “more.” Enough of this. She got herself ready for bed and turned out the light, hoping it would also turn off the more erotic thoughts spinning around in her head. Everything would be fine in the morning.
When she awoke, she was thankful there was no headache. She felt a little tender but nothing more. She’d certainly slept well because when she looked at the clock it was eight forty-five. She yawned and stretched and pulled the duvet around her shoulders. It was so warm and cosy, she didn’t want to move. Lucky there were no children to tend to, and she was sure Reece could cope on her own. She’d no sooner thought it than there was a knock on her door. “Hello.”
“Permission to enter with a nice hot cup of tea.”
Alex laughed. “Permission granted.”
Reece tiptoed in. “How’s your head?”
Alex placed her hands on her head and moved it from side to side. The duvet slipped down and exposed some of her bare chest. She quickly adjusted it but not before Reece’s eyes had drifted. Alex coughed. “So far, so good. Actually, I feel fine. Though I possibly don’t deserve to. And you?”
“Okay, I think.” She placed the mug of tea on the bedside table.
“That’s so kind of you. You’re spoiling me.”
“I don’t usually make a habit of this, but neither of us have to dash around doing chores, so I thought it would be a nice treat. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.”
She turned around, then seemed to hesitate as though hoping for an invitation to stay, before closing the door softly behind her. What was Alex thinking last night…something about everything being fine in the morning? Well, it hadn’t worked. She wanted to invite Reece to join her under the covers, to cuddle up, and talk some more. And…well, maybe more. She sighed and opened her iPad. Research would take her mind off other things.
Later, Val and Keith returned with the children, who gave a blow by blow account of their party. Val asked Reece and Alex if they’d had a good time, and they both answered simultaneously. Her eyes had darted from one to another as if she was looking for tell-tale signs of them concealing some secret or other. Reece blushed a little, so she was sure Val would jump to conclusions. No doubt when she got Reece on her own, there’d be a full interrogation. She couldn’t imagine what Reece would tell her, but they hadn’t done anything wrong. When they left, the four of them did some grocery shopping and spent the rest of the day relaxing.
Saturday was full of excitement for Alex and Callum.
“I could drop you off outside the ground,” Reece said.
“Nah. You’d never get anywhere near it. Park and Ride has been tried and tested. Believe me, it’s much better.” Alex was looking forward to sharing the experience with Callum. Reece gave her the “how would you know?” look. But she did know. She’d done it for years with her dad. She just gave her a small smile in return. The football match didn’t start until three o’clock, so after lunch they set off in Gemma’s car to the park and ride.
She held Callum’s hand until they were actually at their seats, and he was buzzing with excitement. Together, they shouted, sang, cheered, and waited with bated breath. And when it was over, Callum clung to her hand, and they talked through the game all the way home. In a way, it reminded her of her time with her dad, and she understood what he’d felt when he’d looked down at her, just as she felt when she looked down at Callum.
On the bus, he turned to her, his little expression serious. “Can I say something without making you mad?”
The simple question made her heart ache. “Of course you can, buddy.”
“I know you went to hospital because your brain was sick. But since you’ve been back, I really love being around you. Mattie does too. Before, you didn’t like having us around much. But now you do. And I think you make Mum smile a lot.”
Alex blinked back tears. “I’m glad you feel that way, love. Thank you for telling me.”
He went on to talk about the game, switching topics as easily as he switched channels, and she listened to him with half an ear. To think that this little family had been in such chaos, and that the children had felt unwanted. How could anyone not love this trio of people?
When they got home, Reece and Mattie were busy cleaning up after what looked like a marathon cooking session.
Mattie rushed into Alex’s arms. “We’ve been so busy. We’ve made tuna bake and then for dessert, we’ve got lemon rang pie.”
Alex laughed at Mattie’s attempt to remember the name of the dessert and kissed her on the forehead. “That sounds like a feast and
a half. I love lemon meringue. My, you clever girls.”
Reece raised her eyebrows. “I think I’ll stick to pulling teeth.” She mussed Callum’s hair with her hand. “So, how did it go?”
Callum grimaced. “They lost.”
“Oh.”
Alex smiled. “Actually, it was a good game. Ipswich were the better team, but they are top of the league.”
Callum smiled. “Yes, I suppose it was only to be expected,” he said, parroting Alex’s words.
Reece smiled.
“Give it a few months, Callum. Sol Campbell’s a great manager, and remember, he’s also got Andy Cole as coach. Trust me, between them, they’ll turn Southend around.”
“Do you think so, Mummy?”
“As sure as eggs are eggs. It was a great turnout too, nearly nine thousand.”
Callum stood up straight and waved his scarf in the air. “Shrimpers. Shrimpers.”
Reece grabbed hold of his scarf. “Enough of shrimping, go and get washed.” She turned to Alex. “You seem to have become an authority?”
“Not seem. I always have been.” Alex closed her eyes briefly and turned away. It was becoming harder to pretend she was someone else as she became more comfortable. She wanted Reece to like her for who she was, not who she was supposed to be. “Ooh. Must go and wash my hands.” She winked at Reece and sauntered out of the kitchen. This was her kind of day. A football match, then tuna bake and lemon meringue pie with her family. What a change. She spared a thought for her mum, whom she hadn’t thought about much with everything else going on. Hopefully, wherever she was, on whatever side of a sliding door somewhere, she was happy.
Chapter Nineteen
November marked the start of winter. Short days, long dark nights, and the heating firmly switched to on. Reece would have liked to escape with Gemma and the children and travel to sunnier climes, but that was out of the question. She had a busy month, and anyway, they’d never done that sort of thing before. She wasn’t certain Gemma wouldn’t overindulge if they went away like that. However, it was a thought for the future, since Gemma hardly drank at all now, and her pill-taking had become non-existent. Maybe they’d go in February when it was half-term. She held onto that dream as she sat to the table for dinner.