by Karen Klyne
Gemma shivered. “It’s turned really cold. Is the heating on?”
Reece laughed. “Of course it is. The forecast is terrible. Did you hear the howling wind in the middle of the night? It woke me up.”
Gemma shook her head slowly. “Bad winter on the horizon.”
Callum grinned. “Does that mean it’ll be a white Christmas?”
She’d hardly given Christmas a thought. Life had been hectic but in a very nice way. Today was the day she’d make her decision about whether their arrangement was working. It was four weeks since the new version of Gemma had come home, and yet it seemed like she’d always been there.
“Let’s get bonfire night over with first,” Reece said.
Callum and Mattie stared at each other but said nothing.
Gemma looked between them. “Speaking of fireworks, I heard loads last night. Did anyone else?”
Reece nodded. “These days, there seem to be fireworks every night.”
Mattie slid down her chair and swung her leg around.
“Ouch,” Callum cried as she barely tapped his leg.
Mattie mimed, “Ask them.”
Callum coughed, then he blurted, “Please, please, can we go to the bonfire party at the school next Saturday?” He looked at his mum with pleading eyes.
“You know I don’t like fireworks. I never have.” All the same, she looked across at Gemma and shrugged.
Gemma made a show of looking contemplative. “Hmm. Will there be toffee apples?”
Mattie sat up straight in her chair, and her eyes widened. “And bonfire toffee, and hot dogs, and baked potatoes, and loads of other stuff. I’ve never been to a bonfire before. You said I was too young last year.” She pouted then smiled. “We did have some sparklers and roman candles in the garden though.”
“In that case, I think it’s a must.” Gemma laughed. “Will you be joining us?”
Reece tutted. “It seems that I’m outnumbered. I guess I’ll have to wear earplugs.”
“Yes, yes, yes!” The children bounced in their chairs.
A week later on the day of the bonfire, the house was full of excitement, not only from the children but from Gemma too.
“Do you know, I can’t remember the last time I went to a bonfire,” Gemma said. “I certainly never went to one as a child. My parents told me it was dangerous. They were overprotective, so I had to settle for watching them on the TV. It wasn’t the same. And then as an adult, I was always too busy working.”
Reece tilted her head. “I can’t imagine Barry and Lulu instilling those thoughts in you.”
Gemma sighed and stared into the distance. “No, I can’t imagine that either.”
Reece could have kicked herself. She shouldn’t have said anything, but it was a natural reaction to the statement, and Gemma acted so naturally she forgot that there were still memories missing. Sometimes, she wasn’t sure if Gemma was simply going along with things but hadn’t actually got any better. She placed her hand on Gemma’s shoulder. “Sorry.” She looked up at the clock. “Where on earth are those children of ours?”
On cue, they came bounding down the stairs. “Come on you two. We’ll miss the bonfire if we don’t get our skates on.” She checked that each child had enough layers of clothing on, with scarfs, hats, and gloves, and then they set off on foot. The children skipped on ahead, and Reece and Gemma walked along side by side. She found that she desperately wanted to hold Gemma’s hand, and when their hands touched, she felt Gemma hesitate, felt her hand brush against her own. But the moment passed and was lost.
Every now and then Reece shouted for the children to slow down and wait for them, and as soon as they got inside the gates, they asked if they could go and talk to their friends. She agreed, and they ran off to their school chums. They returned when called, and the crowd gathered, eagerly awaiting the lighting of the bonfire. In no time at all the fire began to roar and crackle, and thick smoke billowed into the once clear sky.
The circle of people moved back from the heat, and the yellow and orange flames danced before their audience. Callum pressed against her, and Mattie held tightly to Gemma’s hand.
Then there was a hushed silence, before a single rocket lit up the sky spraying coloured lights in a large starburst explosion, illuminating the night sky. Reece watched as Callum and Mattie stared with their mouths open at the magical spectacle and let out cries of oohs and aahs. They huddled together as they watched the beautiful display of pyrotechnics. Reece covered her ears with her hands. It wasn’t from the noise of the fireworks but more from the screams and yelps piercing her eardrums. It was deafening but seeing her children so happy was wonderful. Gemma laughed and pointed things out to the kids. She looked so open, so genuinely happy. And when she looked up at Reece from where she knelt with the kids, for a moment Reece hadn’t recognized her. She looked so…different.
There was a loud whoosh as a king rocket left its launching tube followed by an explosion of neon coloured lights. A multitude of colours lit up the sky; gold, blues, reds, and all the colours of the rainbow cascaded into a golden shower of stars. Reece thought it was the end and applauded, but it continued with the effect of wriggling fish, whistles, crackles, and large coloured chrysanthemum puffball bursts. For the finale, they fired five salvos of stars in a fan shape across the sky, with the last one crackling stars. The children looked awestruck, and as the lights flickered over Gemma’s face, Reece felt her heart swell with happiness.
The tantalising wafts of hot dogs and bonfire toffee made Reece’s stomach rumble, the intoxicating smells beckoning her like a dog to a bone. She bought them all whatever they wanted, and they finished off with mugs of steaming hot chocolate.
Later, they headed home, skipping up the road together with Reece on one side, Gemma on the other, and the children in between them, all holding hands.
Callum nudged Gemma. “You look happy, Mummy.”
Gemma smiled. “I am happy, Callum. I feel I’ve done this before, but I know I haven’t. It’s a shame. I’d have loved a childhood like this…but now I’m living the dream.”
Reece knew what she meant, and she wasn’t sure if Callum understood, but he looked happy with her response. Despite Reece’s fear and dread of fireworks, she too had loved the evening. For the first time she could remember, they felt like a family.
That night in bed, she opened her MacBook and began her research. She was amazed at how many people had experienced similar situations to Gemma’s, people who swore with absolute certainty that they were living a different life and who felt their world had been turned upside down. Of course, they could be delusional or their stories could be hoaxes. They were there though, and she couldn’t dismiss them. She bookmarked every article and vowed to keep an open mind. This Gemma was not the same Gemma she had known for ten years. And that was a fact.
***
Alex woke after a torrid night of broken sleep. Thoughts and images of the bonfire and time with Reece and the kids circled around and around her head all night. Sunday passed by quickly, and Val insisted on cooking a Sunday roast. It was a pleasant day, and they ended up playing cards together. The more time they spent together, the more she got along with Reece’s parents and even found they had some things in common.
Alex had now exhausted all her avenues of research. While there was plenty out there on sliding doors and people feeling like they were in the wrong place, no one had any answers on how it happened, why, or how to get back. She hated the thought of giving up, but she was coming to the end of her tether. As a distraction, she made a list and went off to do some shopping. She returned and unpacked the bags and put the stuff away. At the bottom of one of the bags was a rolled-up newspaper, The Weekly Advertiser. She hadn’t picked it up and couldn’t imagine how it got there. Maybe the checkout girl had slipped it into her bag. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down at the table. She unfolded the newspaper, and it fell open to the personal ads section.
There it was. She read it and r
eread it. It wasn’t just there, it was circled as if someone wanted her to read it. She shivered and leaned back in her chair as a memory imposed itself of that same message on a leaflet fluttering in the wind by the seashore. The hairs stood up on the back of her neck. She leaned forward and read it again.
Do you want to disappear and start a new life? You can.
Call me: 07777 777 777.
It was eerie in every way and instinctively, she knew it was what she was looking for. She rubbed her face with her hands, which were cold and trembling. She clenched her fists and tried to get the circulation back into them. She daren’t ring the number. Dare she? Could this person shed light on what she was going through? Did they have answers? Did she want to give this life up just when she was getting used to it? Would she be okay with never seeing Reece and the children again, just to get back to her old life? The doorbell rang, providing a welcome intrusion into her circular thoughts. She closed the newspaper and opened the door. She jolted back and held onto the door frame. “Fuck me, I can’t believe it.”
“As you are still here, I presume you are already being fucked.”
“Highly amusing, Faz.” She pulled her in for a strong hug.
“Are you going to invite me in? I’m freezing my tits off here. The heating died in my car.”
Alex looked at Faz’s car, an old Micra, parked on the roadside. “I’m surprised that has any heating.” She opened the door wider. “I’m so happy to see you. Come on in.”
Faz picked up her holdall and walked into the house. “The good news is I have been accepted as a proud immigrant to this country. The bad news is, I don’t have anywhere to stay. I have a place in a hostel, but it is not available for a few days. I was hoping I could beg a bed for a night or two.”
“Faz, you can stay here as long as you like.” Alex took her hand. “You don’t know how glad I am to see you.” If she’d prayed for help, Faz would be the one she’d want.
They went into the kitchen, and Alex made a pot of coffee. She poured some into two mugs, and they sat at the table together. “Tell me what happened? I’ve been worried sick. I thought I’d never see you again.”
Faz explained a little of the process she’d been through, which sounded harrowing.
“That is as much as I want to tell you. From now on, it is all about the future.” Faz tilted her head. “Now you can tell me about your life.”
Alex gave her a brief outline, though she missed certain bits out, like wondering about how a kiss with Reece might feel. She wasn’t going to tell her everything.
“So, it is obvious that you are staying…isn’t it?”
Alex sighed. “I want to stay. I really like Callum and Mattie. I feel like they belong to me, which I know is weird after such a short time. As far as Reece is concerned…” She shrugged. “We’ve become close.”
“But?”
“I could never stay here unless she totally believes my story, that I’m not Gemma. I can’t live that kind of lie.”
“I am sure she has already come to that conclusion.”
Alex shook her head. “No, I don’t think so, and she hasn’t said anything. I mean, she’d need proof.”
“So, if you find that proof, are you saying you would stay?”
Alex held her head in her hands briefly, then she looked up. “I don’t think I want to go back to my old life. I like this one better. That sounds callous and strange, and I really do miss my mum and Jasper. But I think it’s true.”
“Is that a yes, then?”
Alex wiped her palms on her jeans. “I suppose it is.”
Faz nodded. “Have you done any research?”
“Loads. I found stuff on sliding doors and parallel worlds, which would all seem farfetched if I wasn’t living it myself, but I couldn’t go any further…until today.” Alex pulled the newspaper over and opened it up. She tapped on the circled ad. “What do you think to this? You know how I told you about the memory overlaps? This is one of them.”
Faz peered at it. “Did you ring the number?”
“Christ, no. I only just found it, and then you rang the doorbell.”
“Ring it.” Faz got her phone out of her pocket and slid it along to Alex. “Do it on this. If it turns out to be a crazy person, at least they will not have your number.”
“What shall I say?”
“Say exactly what it says in the ad, that you want to disappear and start a new life. See what they say.”
Alex’s hands shook. But she knew she had to do it. She keyed in the numbers and waited until it sounded like the call was answered though no one spoke. “Hello? I read your advertisement. I’m desperate. I need to disappear and start a new life.”
“It won’t be easy. I’ll have to find a match. Are you sure this is what you want?” The woman’s tone was firm.
“I’m positive.”
“End the call. I’ll send you instructions.”
Alex hung up and a few minutes later, she received a text.
Faz touched Alex’s arm. “What does it say?”
“To meet tomorrow at ten o’clock in the morning. She’ll send directions at nine-thirty.”
Faz slapped the table. “Great.”
“Is it? How do we know it’s not some prankster?”
Faz shook her head. “I have a feeling that it is not. Do not worry, I’ll be coming with you.”
Alex squeezed Faz’s hand. “I’m so glad you’re back in my life. What perfect timing too.”
Faz grinned. “Me too. I hope you have that champagne chilled.”
“You bet.”
Alex showed Faz to the guest room. She texted Reece to check it was okay that Faz stayed. She confirmed it within seconds. Alex couldn’t wait to introduce Faz to the children.
They all spent a wonderful evening together. The children took to Faz straight away, and after dinner she sat with them and showed them how to make flowers and animals from their paper napkins. Faz seemed to be a mine of information for her age, and Alex wondered when she’d had the time to pick up all those skills. Right now, she felt blessed to have her back in her life. She wasn’t sure if she would have gone through with the telephone call on her own.
She hardly slept, and the following morning, Reece left as usual, and Alex and Faz dropped the children off at school. When they got back, they sat at the kitchen table and waited. Dead on nine-thirty, Faz’s phone pinged with the text. She passed it over to Alex.
She tried to digest the information. “Looks like she lives in the woods at the back of the golf course.” Shit, she was scared. She could hardly keep her hands steady.
Faz got up. “Okay. Let’s go. I will drive, because you look like a ghost.”
Faz was probably right. She felt like a zombie. She could move but didn’t really feel capable of rational thought. What if she went to meet this person and lost this life she’d fallen into? Could she be happy back in her old life? The thought of losing Reece and the kids made her feel sick.
They got into Faz’s car, and Alex read the directions off the phone. “Take a left here and drive half a mile down the road. When you come to the end turn left. Somewhere along that road there’ll be a well.”
Faz followed the instructions and pulled up a few yards before the well.
“That’s it. The stone cottage. Are you coming with me?”
“You go ahead. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Alex took a deep breath and got out of the car. She walked toward the cottage and knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
Alex turned the door handle and walked in. It was dark inside, and it took a second before her eyes adjusted. The only light was from a kerosene lamp hanging from an overhead beam above an old lady who was sitting in a rocking chair by the side of an open fire.
“Come closer.” The woman didn’t turn around.
Alex stepped into her line of sight. The old woman gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. Alex folded her arms across her chest. So, th
is was the answer she’d been looking for after all. “Do you recognise me?”
The old woman shook her head vehemently. “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“I doubt that. My name was Alex Gambol. It’s now Gemma Tennant. Does that ring any bells now?” She leaned closer, staring into the old woman’s eyes.
The old woman clutched her chest with her hands. “I’m not feeling well. You’ll have to go. I need a doctor.”
“You’ll need more than a doctor if you don’t answer my questions.” She pointed her finger at the old woman. “Tell me what the hell happened. Is there some other woman living my life? How does this work? And why?”
The old woman wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “You weren’t happy, were you?”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I’ve been to hell and back, and you ask me that fucking stupid question.” The truth was, she didn’t know how to answer it.
The old woman sat up straight, her fear seemingly forgotten. “I saw two unhappy women. I swapped your lives. Now you’re both happier.”
“You’ve not heard a word I’ve said. Hell. And back. I lost everything. Everyone thinks I’m a raving nut case. And what do you mean, you swapped our lives? What are you? Who are you?”
The door burst open and in walked Faz. She slammed the door behind her. She laughed falsely. “Well, if it isn’t Winnie Mist.”
“What are you doing here, imp?” The woman almost spat the words at Faz.
Alex looked from one to the other, and then to Faz. “Do you know her?”
“She’s a meddling bitch witch, associated with crossroads, entrance ways, sliding doors, and other worlds.”
Alex’s head started to spin. “How do you know her?”
“Our paths have crossed a few times. I had a feeling she might be behind this when I met you in hospital.”
Alex’s breath rasped in her throat. Faz had these answers all along and she hadn’t told her? But then, if she had, would she have believed her? “Shit.” She put a hand to her temple. “This isn’t happening. It’s another bloody nightmare.”