Love Beyond Sight
Page 7
She might not be able to hear him even if she was back up and running around.
Maybe. His heart plummeted into his stomach. She could be dead. Again. And this time it would be his fault because he'd left her alone. He loved her so much. Why was it that whatever he did he ended up causing her so much pain?
* * * *
Ruby had finally gotten the daisies and the garbage bags out of her apartment. She wiped the sweat off her brow. Why had the incidents started again? She'd been so careful.
Ruby.
She jumped, whirling around in the hallway outside of her apartment. Was someone calling her?
"Hello?" No one was in the well-lit area. She could see from one end all the way to the other. No one could be hiding; no one could be playing a joke without her seeing who it was.
Truth was—she had to be cracking up. Maybe that's what the incidents were: manifestations of stress. Maybe she subconsciously made the items appear.
It's time to go home, Ruby.
The whispered voice moved through her like a touch from a close friend or family member. It felt… remembered. But, of course, that was impossible.
She grabbed the doorknob and opened the door to go inside. There was a simple solution for all of this, she would just not leave her apartment again until it stopped and if that made her a shut-in, well then, so be it.
You can't hide from this.
Oh Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea, the strangeness had decided to follow her home. Fine. Sure. She never hid from things. She liked to face them, straight on.
"Who is there?"
It's time to remember, Ruby. Can't you remember, Ruby?
In the back of her mind, a strange chanting began. She could hear it. Like the voice harassing her, the sing-song nature of the vocalizations sounded so darn familiar. It was like they were there in her mind, memories, but she couldn't access them.
You need to remember, Ruby. It's time.
Yes, she got the idea. The voice wanted her to remember something she'd forgotten. Well, that wasn't the easiest thing in the world. It wasn't like she could simply demand a repressed memory reappear because she wanted it to. There had to be a reason she'd forgotten whatever this was to begin with.
"Maybe I don't want to remember."
Oh god, now she addressed the strangeness directly. She should simply give up. Ruby began to pace. Surely, the university had to have services for their faculty if they started to have mental health issues. She'd call and find out. Of course, then they might end up firing her. All the men in her department hated her. They were jealous. She was young, she'd been published. Oh god! She was under so much stress…
They need you, Ruby.
"Who needs me?"
The Outsiders…
Chapter Seven
Eden held her eyes closed tightly then covered them with her hands just to be safe. She'd always been really good at taking orders and doing as she was told. The desperation in Samuel's voice made her want to move fast.
"What's going on?" Because Eden knew she couldn't have seen what she thought she had. It was… impossible. Samuel's skin had looked like it'd peeled off his face. "Are you okay?"
"Listen." She could hear him getting up and wanted to stop him. He'd had a major injury to his head; he didn't need to be running around. "Something is going to happen. I have to go out and take care of it."
"I don't understand." She needed to see what was going on. This was ridiculous.
"Don't open your eyes." He sounded desperate and she'd grown so accustomed to listening to his voice over the years that she did as he instructed. "I have to go. When I come back, I'm going to look different. Everything about me will be changed except the way I sound. Remember, you know me."
His voice cracked on the last sentence and two seconds later she heard the door slam behind him. She counted to three before she removed her hands from her face and let her eyes flutter open. It felt like she had run a marathon. What had just happened?
She rose, and after a second, when she was certain she wouldn't faint, she decided the best course of action was to clean up the mess she had made in the room. Everything could be made all right if it was straightened up and tidy. If she just put all of the stuff back in its original place and tried to fix the chair…
But like a vacuum came and sucked all of the energy out of her, Eden felt more exhausted than she ever had before. All thought of cleanliness fled as she walked to the couch and slumped down on top of it. What was going on? She'd woken up from her brutal vision of getting slaughtered by the demon to find herself in a strange place. Assuming she'd been kidnapped, she attacked Samuel, who now turned out to be her soul mate.
Her heart did a flutter at the thought. Soul mate. She had one, she wasn't crazy, and he was here with her. Sort of.
Samuel Quinn. Eden thought it sounded like a strong name. In the brief time he'd been around, he'd seemed capable and take-charge. She loved those qualities, considering she spent so much of her time with no idea what was happening around her.
He'd had blond hair, blue eyes, and a long regal-looking nose. She'd thought he was cute. Eden closed her eyes at the thought. Yes, he'd been attractive enough. She didn't think of herself as being anything to write home about but she'd always assumed that when she met her soul mate, she would find his looks to be exhilarating. At least, that's what had happened with the three soul-mated pairs of Outsiders she knew.
They couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other.
Jason spent all day with a grin on his face like he had some secret about Charma he kept from the rest of them. Did Eden want to jump Samuel's bones? No. She didn't.
She closed her eyes. Oh gods, what was wrong with her? Couldn't she manage to be sexually attracted to her own soul mate?
But he'd said he was going to look different. She sat up. What did he mean by that? Opening her eyes, she pulled out her phone from her pocket. This was well beyond her area of expertise. She needed some help in the form of Charma, Isabelle, or Loraine. Someone who could explain to her exactly how it was that men thought. Or what they meant when they said weird things.
After dialing Isabelle's number, she was startled by the tension in the other woman's voice when she answered the phone.
"Are you okay?" Isabelle sounded breathless.
Eden paused. "Are you?"
"No. Everything has gone to hell down here. There's no sign of the demon but they booby-trapped the house. Leonardo and Marina were caught in some kind of electrical surge designed to stop anyone from entering."
Jumping to her feet, Eden bit down on her lip so hard she tasted blood. "Are they okay?"
"In a word—no. Jason has never seen anything like it. Charma can't reach them telepathically and Jason can't heal them at all. It's some weird magic. We're all scrambling around here trying to figure out what to do. Stay safe. I'll call when I have information."
Isabelle hung up the phone. Samuel's apartment suddenly felt cold and lonely. Her friends were in dire straits and she hadn't even seen it coming. Wasn't she supposed to be some kind of prophet? Hadn't her father been called 'the great one' because of his ability to prophesize the future?
By all that was holy, she was so useless. If Leonardo and Marina died, all hope of them ever taking back the world from the demon ended with them. The door swung open with a thud and Eden whirled around expecting to see Samuel.
The stranger at the door smiled and she screamed as she ran for the bedroom. Her heart was in her throat. Oh god. Who was that person? What did he want from her? Why hadn't she held onto the chair leg?
"Eden." It was Samuel's voice calling out to her and she came to a halt.
Eden. Relax, pretty girl. It's just me.
She turned around. The stranger, who she could now rationally see had black hair and striking blue eyes, held his hands out to her in a gesture she suspected was meant to calm her down. She stared down at them for a second before gazing at his face again.
"Who are you?"
"You sound like Samuel." She felt like an idiot. There was something going on here that she couldn't grasp on to.
"I am Samuel." He stepped forward. "Every so often I have to change my face."
"You have to what?" Eden's voice sounded screechy to her own ears. She tugged at her hair wishing she could pull it out with frustration. People didn't simply change their faces. Even Outsiders had to hold onto the physical package they'd been given. If she could alter her appearance, she wouldn't have chosen the one she currently had to walk around in.
"When I was twelve years old, before I even understood what it was to really be an Outsider, the demon trapped me in a closet and tried to burn me to death."
He gave her that news so calmly she had to blink at the way he told it. The demon had tried to burn him to death and he told her like he might inform her he wanted chicken for dinner.
"Um." His blasé narration made it difficult for her to know what to say. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm so glad you didn't die."
More than she would ever be able to tell him. He was hers. Even just a voice in her head, he had belonged to her. How would she have survived without it? One tear trickled down her face before she could stop it. In two strides he was next to her, wiping it away.
When he spoke again, his voice was low and hoarse like he fought emotions. "I almost didn't. Fire scorched my entire body. There was little they could do. Even my Outsider genetics couldn't heal that much damage. My face took the brunt of it. I've never been really sure why. Mostly, I've blocked out the fire except for instances when I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I'm not making sense, I know."
His words seemed perfectly clear to Eden. It was like a nightmare, or a vision, that you could forget, most of the time, but sometimes reared its ugly head to scare the hell out of you. Except he had lived his nightmare.
She swallowed to clear away the lump in her throat. "When I was twelve years old, I started to see fire everywhere."
He nodded as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not surprised. We've always been so connected. I've constantly been aware of you." His new blue eyes stared into hers. "I'm sorry you had to have those visions."
"You were always aware of me?" She knew she shouldn't have focused on that fact as the most important thing he said. There were other, more important parts of his story, but the only thing she seemed to hear was that he'd known her forever.
"Always, my sweet Eden." He sighed. "The good news? One of my Outsider powers is to be able to alter my appearance. I can take the features of anyone I touch. I can become them for a little while. Usually for a week or two but when I'm around you, it's less. My powers don't like to hide me from you. That's why I had to bust out the door and go find someone digging out their car from the snow to steal their appearance for a while."
"You say that like you've been around me before." Eden felt like she couldn't breathe. If Samuel could change his appearance, they might have been in the same room tons of times and she would have no idea.
"I was once."
His pale cheeks got red while he spoke. Eden had no idea if he was embarrassed or if his face was getting ready to peel off again. She hoped it was the former because the idea that he could simply watch her, invade her privacy, while she had no idea he was in the room really made her blood boil. Her hands fisted at her sides and she pulled away from him.
A slew of emotions threatened to overtake Eden. Anger, which she was never comfortable actually feeling, embarrassment that he might have seen her in less than stellar circumstances, and weirdly enough, relief that he had been in her life for a long time even if she hadn't known it.
"Don't be mad at me, sweet Eden. My face threatened to peel away when I got close to you. I had to run. I realized then that we couldn't be together."
She shook her head. Up until his last words, she had followed his train of thought just fine. "Why not?"
Because I can never let you see me as I really look. It's too horrific. I can't stand the sight, and my own parents, who had adored me since I first came to them, can barely look at me. I won't have my one true love seeing me in that fashion.
The smooth, textured feel of his voice in her head cooled off her anger immediately. That was always how they'd communicated. There was familiarity to that sensation. A feeling that she knew him, that he wasn't a potentially threatening stranger.
Where the anger dissipated, however, sadness took its place. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes again and she dug her fingernails into her palm to stop them. It was a trick she'd learned growing up with her family. They hadn't approved of her tears. Only people not going to hell got to express genuine feelings in her household. As she'd been bound for the pit since birth, her emotional needs hadn't counted for much.
When she was sure she was in control, she spoke. "You've been in my head, a lot, right?"
"Nearly every day since we were ten."
She gasped before she could stop herself. "That long? And you never contacted me before that day in the mental hospital?"
"I always wanted us to meet in person, even when it seemed impossible, and then you vanished. I couldn't find you at all." He turned from her to stalk to the window. "I thought you were dead, Eden. Then all of a sudden I could feel you again."
She nodded. "Probably because Charma and Marina arrived. Their presence helped free me from the drugs."
"Makes sense." He still didn't look at her, which made her narrow her eyes. He was upset? He got to act angry? She was the one who had been wronged here.
"So, you've been in my head nearly every day for twenty years—unbeknownst to me." She let her voice raise an octave to relay her annoyance at that last part. "And you think that I wouldn't like you if I could really see your face? You think I'm that shallow. Wow, I never knew I was such a bad person."
If there was one thing Eden had always believed about herself, it was that all the time she'd spent traveling around and 'preaching' had given her a sense of what really mattered in life. She'd thought kindness and compassion were traits she held above all others. Maybe she'd been wrong.
Do you think I want kindness and compassion from my soul mate? Do you think those are the feelings I wish to illicit from you? Like I'm some kind of wounded animal?
He hadn't turned around as his words, laced with anger in their intonation, filled her mind.
"Reading my mind? I'm going to have to figure out how to stop you from getting in there so easily."
Not going to happen. His back was stiff as he answered her telepathically.
"Turn around and speak to me if you want to say something. At least look me in the eye if you're going to invade my mind."
He whirled around, his blue gaze meeting hers. "You've never minded the so-called invasion before. You like it. You look for me in your head. I love being in there. You don't get to tell me I can't do it anymore when it's the one time of the day that I actually feel like life matters."
She threw her hands in the air. This was an impossible situation. "Wonderful."
The cleaning idea seemed better and better. Clearly, she was stuck in his apartment with him until the storm passed. Leonardo and Marina were hurt—possibly fatally—and there was nothing she could do for them.
Samuel gritted his teeth. "I don't want kindness and compassion from you."
"What do you want, Samuel?" She felt very small asking that question. This was the first time they'd met in person and yet he had the ability to wound her as no other could. Fate had given him that right and Eden suspected that no matter how long she fought it, she would always need him.
"I never thought to have anything between us." He took two steps toward her. But now that I am with you, even as my face itches and burns, I want ev
erything. I crave your desire, your love, your friendship, your passion. I don't want you to treat me like someone else you have to care for while you take no time to be kind to yourself. I want you to be hot for me. That's why you'll never see me as I really look. In your presence, I'll always look handsome, or at least normal looking.
"That's all good and fine." Eden stepped toward him. If they both just moved a few more inches, they could touch again. But she wouldn't be making that leap. "I'm not exactly in love with how I look either. I wish I weighed ten pounds less, or more."
"That's crazy. You're beautiful." His voice was like a caress over her body and she shivered from the effect.
"Thank you." No one had ever said that to her before. She wished she had time to roll around in the feeling for a few moments. Her point, however, had to be made. "What I mean is that I understand how it is to be self-conscious. Only I can't hide myself from you and it seems a little unfair that you can from me."
"It's a little unfair I nearly died in a fire, don't you think?" He turned from her again, this time storming from the room.
Okay, so he made a good point. Chasing after him, all she wanted to do was to take back the last thing she'd said. "Samuel…"
He interrupted. "I'm not angry, beautiful. Just frustrated."
"Look, the thing is that you might think I will be attracted to you like this or however else you appear. But I'm not."
He stopped and turned around. Whatever else he might be, Samuel was tall. At almost six-feet tall she stood above nearly everyone else. But he had inches on her. She had to glance up to see him and it definitely worked for him in the intimidation department.
"You're not?" He looked out the window. "Tomorrow, I'll go find someone who you do find attractive and I'll look like him. We'll pick me out together every day. You point, I take."
She shook her head. He couldn't have any idea how much desperation radiated off him at that moment or she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have done a better job of hiding it. Her heart bled for him.