Breaking Down

by Megan Lowe

  When a hot BMX champion butts head with a woman who could kick his arse, it’s only a matter of time before the gloves are off and the heat is on.

  What happens when the unexpected flips your world upside down?

  That’s the question Jax Ryan must answer when everything he knows and loves is tipped on its head. Adjusting to his new reality is not easy. Throw in the woman of his dreams, who won’t even give him the time of day, and Jax is out of his element.

  Bentley La Roche is tough. She’s a fighter, literally. In her spare time, she can be found with the best MMA fighters on the Gold Coast. But she’s guarded and has no interest in getting involved with anyone, especially Jax Ryan.

  But when things go from bad to worse for Jax, Bentley’s walls are no match for her desire to help him. Breaking down is easy. It’s the rebuild that’s hard, but so much fun.

  Breaking Down © 2018 by Megan Lowe

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any written, electronic, recorded, or photocopied format without the express permission from the author or publisher as allowed under the terms and conditions with which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author's rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  Breaking Down is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and places found therein are either from the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to persons alive or dead, actual events, locations, or organizations is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  For information, contact the publisher, Hot Tree Publishing.

  www.hottreepublishing.com

  Editing: Hot Tree Editing

  Cover Designer: Claire Smith

  ISBN-13: 978-1-925655-41-4

  For the strong, or those who pretend to be, don’t be afraid to let people in. It’s not weakness to accept help.

  For those who are fighting battles others may not know about. Stay strong, think positive thoughts, accept help. You’re not alone.

  For Chester, thank you for the music.

  Glossary

  Breaking Down is written in Australian English and has a colourful collection of colloquialisms and slang. Enjoy discovering some new and wonderful terms.

  Comp: Competition.

  Panadol: A brand of paracetamol or acetaminophen.

  Tomoz: Tomorrow.

  Floordrobe: The pile of clothes that build up on your floor; a substitute wardrobe or closet.

  Bonnet: The hood of a car.

  Olds: Slang for parents.

  Cardy: A cardigan.

  On a good wicket: In a good place, everything is going well.

  Weet-Bix: A shredded wheat biscuit. According to the advertising slogan, Australian kids are said to be “Weet-Bix kids.”

  Milo: A chocolate and malt powder added to milk. The correct ratio is 75 milo: 25 milk. (Not really, but it’s close!)

  Goss: Gossip.

  Kiwi: The national bird of New Zealand; a person from New Zealand.

  Steven Bradbury: Steven Bradbury won Australia’s first Winter Olympic Gold Medal in Speed Skating when everyone else in the race fell over. He was so far behind he missed the carnage and skated to victory.

  Neighbours: An Australian TV Soap Opera.

  Trackies: Trackpants; Sweatpants, Sweats.

  Tanty: A tantrum.

  Kindy: Kindergarten, preschool. Children generally attend from ages three—five.

  Servo: A service, or gas, station.

  Road train: A trucking vehicle used in rural and remote areas of Australia. It usually tows two or more trailers; a triple, turnpike double, or Rocky Mountain double.

  Glossary Continued

  Breaking Down also features freestyle BMX terminology. Enjoy learning some new phrases.

  Big air ramp: A big air ramp consists of three parts. The roll-in, usually at least twelve metres (forty feet), allows the rider to gain the speed needed to tackle the other sections of the ramp; the gap, usually a space between seven and a half and twenty-one metres (twenty-five to seventy feet) where tricks are performed; and the vert, or quarter pipe, where athletes ride up the side and perform a trick before landing.

  Quarter-pipe: A ramp resembling a quarter of a cylinder.

  Halfpipe or Vert: Two quarter pipes. Together they form a U shape. Also known as a Vert ramp.

  540 Tailwhip: Spinning 540 degrees while simultaneously spinning the bike around.

  Street: An X-Games course designed to mimic cityscapes. Example: stairs, railings, walls.

  Park: A course designed specifically for BMX bikes or skateboards. They use the kind of elements you see in special BMX/skateboard parks.

  Dirt: A course made up of entirely dirt jumps. It looks like an FMX course, but smaller with more jumps.

  Flair: A backflip combined with a 180-degree turn. It is usually performed on a quarter pipe.

  900: Rotating 900 degrees.

  Dead Sailor: When a rider jumps but fails to perform a trick.

  Prologue

  Jax

  “So that was nice,” Quinn says as she gets dressed. Quinn is Quinn Rhodes; yes, that one, bass player for Places. We’ve been doing the nasty on and off for about ten months now. I wouldn’t call our relationship regular or committed or any of that touchy-feely shit, but she is the only girl I’ve hooked up with in a while. It’s not my usual MO but it’s definitely something I could get used to.

  “You know what would be nice?” I ask as I laze in bed, my hands behind my head. “If you stayed for a while instead of coming and running.” Get it? She comes then runs.

  She stops putting on her shoes and sighs. “You know that’s not what I want, Jax. I don’t have time for a relationship right now. Between my mother and uni, I barely have time to breathe. The only way I could get away is because the rags got hold of Knley giving birth and it would look bad if none of us came.”

  “And here I was thinking you came for me.” I’m not gonna lie, I really did think that. I mean, sure she’s here because her sister, McKnley Matthews, gave birth, but why not for me as well? Kn is married to Cole Matthews, a National Racing Series rider for our team, Ryan Racing. But I’m wondering if she’s also here for my dick. He is legendary, after all, and Quinn has gotten her fair share of pleasure from him. I still wanted more from her though.

  “Please don’t do this,” she says.

  “Do what?” I ask.

  “Make me feel bad for sticking to something we both agreed to.”

  “Don’t you think we’re onto something good here?” I ask.

  “You’re a great guy, Jax,” she says as she finishes putting on her shoes and leans over to kiss me on the cheek.

  “But it’s not enough to stop you walking out the door, is it?” There’s something weird going on in my chest; it feels all achy or some shit like that. I rub at it, hoping that it will go away.

  She gives me a sad smile. “I told you before, it’s all me.”

  Yep, she just gave me the old “it’s not you, it’s me” line. Fuck that. “Whatever,” I mumble, trying to seem like I give less of a shit than I actually do.

  “I’ll see you next time?” she asks.

  I want to tell her to go to hell, that she can stick her arrangement in her uptight, “vintage inspired” arse, but I know as soon as I see her picture pop up on my phone, all she has to do is say “jump” and I’ll ask how high. “Maybe. Or maybe I’ll find someone who truly appreciates me,” I say.

  She smiles again. “I hope you do, you deserve it,” she tells me before she walks out the door, leaving me once again. Like they all do.
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  Chapter 1

  Jax

  Six months later. Extreme Games, Austin, Texas.

  I look at my phone and read the text message from Quinn for what has to be the thousandth time. All I’d asked for was a titty shot for good luck before I took part in the Extreme Games. I’m the reigning gold medallist for all six BMX disciplines; Big Air, Best Trick, Vert, Street, Park, and Dirt—the first time anyone has ever done that, by the way. So it only seems fair I start things off the right way, right? Therefore, I need a nip pic. Ideally I would’ve liked a blowjob, but that’s a bit hard when Quinn’s in Melbourne and I’m here in Austin. Sure, there are plenty of girls around who would be more than willing to suck me off, but I only want one. Judging from her text message, those feelings aren’t reciprocated.

  Quinn: You know I’m wishing you luck, even if you don’t need it. But I feel I should tell you that I’m seeing someone. He’s a resident at the hospital I’m doing a placement with. I’m sure there are plenty of other, better-looking girls there who would be more than willing to help you out. Good luck with everything, Quinn.

  Yeah, that was a kick to the nuts. I know I don’t have the best reputation when it comes to relationships, but I was serious about wanting one with Quinn. She got me. I see what Reed and Bria, Mav and Aubrey, and Liam and Mase have and I want something like that. A couple of years ago a relationship was the last thing on my mind. Then I saw how Reed changed when Bria came into his life. I saw what I’ve been missing my whole life. Love. Not that my pop, pa, and brothers don’t love me, but it’s man love. You know, the approving grunt or slap on the back when you’ve done something well. What I’m looking for is someone soft and warm to embrace me, to wrap me up and show me how they feel through their touch. It’s something I’ve never had. Our mum died before I turned one. She had ovarian cancer, but they didn’t find it until she had me. By that time, it was too late. So I’ve never had a woman to kiss my boo-boos or to hug me when I fell off my bike. Some of us, not giving away names, *cough* Reed, Park *cough*, believe that was our curse, that any woman who fell in love with us was destined to die young. I get where they’re coming from, with my nan and ma dying young. Plus Park’s girlfriend and mother of my nephew, Christian, also kicked the bucket early, but personally I think it’s bullshit. They were all unlucky. I mean, Reed and Bria have been together for almost four years now. They’ve got one gorgeous kid, my niece, Avery, and another on the way. Sure, they had a rough start, but everything is A-okay now. So no, fear of our “curse” is not what’s keeping me from having a relationship. I just wasn’t ready. Now I am, but the girl I want doesn’t want me. I’m alone, just like I always am.

  I stand at the top of the Big Air ramp and know I should feel like I’m on top of the world. At fifteen metres in the air, it looks like I am. But I don’t feel it. I’m the greatest BMX rider there ever was and ever will be, but all I feel is empty and alone. I look to the side where my family are, and see Reed and Bria. His hands are on her stomach, baby number two growing nicely. Next to them are Mav and his girl Aubrey. When he sees me looking at him, he nods, encouraging me. Usually the gesture would send a rush of calmness over me, but not today. No, all it does is remind me that he’s paired up as well now, while I’m all alone. That I always will be because everyone leaves me. I shake my head and try to clear it. I’m Jax Ryan, BMX god, and I’m here to tear up.

  I push down the roll-in, pedalling down the steep incline. The wind whips past me, but all I can think of are the tricks I’m about to pull. I hit the first ramp, taking the twenty-one-metre gap, which allows me to pull a perfect double backflip. I land and pedal to get enough momentum to get up the vert end of the ramp. I pull my bike flip and transition into a 540 tailwhip. I’m a little late coming out of it so I know my landing’s going to be dicey, but nothing I can’t handle, at least I think it’s not. I spot my landing and come down sideways, which isn’t good, but again, nothing I can’t handle. The wheels hit and the bike leans to the right before tipping. I try to brace myself, but the curved wall of the vert rushes up to meet me. I don’t even have time to swear before the world goes black.

  When I come to, there’s an eerie silence. I try to get up but Mav pushes me back down.

  “Don’t move,” he tells me, or I think he does. There’s a ringing in my ears, the bright sun is burning my eyes, and I may be seeing four of my brother.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “Shh,” Mav says, “just lie still, the medics need to check you for injuries.”

  “I’m fine,” I say and try to get up again. As I do, a shooting pain goes down my arm and the world tilts a weird angle. “Or maybe not,” I say as I lie down again.

  “Where does it hurt?” someone asks me.

  “Arm and head,” I tell them.

  “He definitely dislocated his shoulder,” the voice tells Mav, “and probably broke his collarbone. He’s got a concussion too.”

  I’m lifted and placed on a stretcher. From there I’m transferred to a buggy to be taken to the medical centre. I raise my arm, my left, unbroken, still located one, and give the crowd a thumbs-up. When they see me they roar, the noise making my head feel like it’s being split open. I clutch at it.

  “Fuck me,” I curse.

  I think I hear my brothers and Bria talking nearby, but my head is making it difficult for me to nail anything down. The world is tilting and spinning at all different angles, so I close my eyes, hoping that will help matters. Quinn’s smiling face greets me and makes my chest ache in a way totally unrelated to my crash. I wish she was here. She’d know exactly what was going on and could look after me. The thought of her giving me a sponge bath makes my dick twitch, and I quickly think of something else to prevent a full-on hard-on. No, instead of a Quinn Rhodes sponge bath, my brain chooses to replay my crash, or what I can remember of it. Yeah, ’cause that’s a better alternative.

  Chapter 2

  Jax

  I love my family, but they’re driving me insane. It’s been four days since my crash and they’ve barely left me alone. I know I was complaining about how alone I felt, and wanting human interaction, but this isn’t the way I wanted my wish to be granted. To literally add insult to injury, I had to watch the arsehat that is Bishop Royal take my Big Air and Vert titles. The flake couldn’t throw a decent flair to save his life, but I guess without me there, the standard of competition dropped dramatically. But out of everyone there, why did he have to be the one to walk away with the wins? That spoiled daddy’s boy is a no-talent wanker who only got into the sport so daddy could brag to his buddies. I doubt he even likes the sport in the first place. Bishop fucking Royal. Even his name pisses me off, and now he’s got what should be my medals hanging around his neck.

  At the moment I’m sitting on the couch of our hotel suite, playing with my dude Birthday Bear. Yes, I have a teddy bear, and no, I’m not ashamed of it. My dude BB and I have been through a lot together. He’s travelled everywhere with me and has the wear and tear to show for it. Although, he was originally Reed’s, so I’m going to blame him for that. Meanwhile, Reed, Bria, and Mav discuss what to do with me. And I’m left to think about how much of a failure I am. The run I was doing was one I’ve done hundreds of times before. I’ve had it down pat for months; it shouldn’t have been a problem for me. I mean shit, I’ve been working on more difficult runs than that for a while now. Does this mean I’m past it? I’m losing my touch? Will I be a has-been before I turn twenty-one? That’s not the direction my life is supposed to take, is it? I thought I was destined for great things, but maybe this is all I’ll get, all I’ll ever be.

  No.

  I would shake my head to clear my thoughts, but the pounding headache I have tells me that’s probably a bad idea. I’m Jax Ryan, BMX god, and one crash, albeit a really fucking impressive one, will not keep me down. Or down for long, depending on clearance from my docs, of course.

  The conversation my brothers are having starts to filter in.

&nbs
p; “The doctors said he should be fine to fly in the next couple of days,” Reed says.

  “Okay, so I’ll change Aubrey and my flights so we can come back with you,” Mav replies.

  “Are you sure?” Bria asks.

  “Absolutely. He needs someone to take care of him, and since I still share a house with him, I guess that means I should do it.”

  Oh please. “For fuck’s sake,” I exclaim, and then wince in pain. “I’ve got a broken collarbone and a concussion. I’m not an invalid. I’m more than capable of looking after myself.” I try to get up, but stumble as I do. The lasting effects of this concussion, my fourth, for the record, are totally kicking my arse. “And you”—I poke Mav in the chest when I finally stumble my way over to him—“are not my parent and I won’t be the reason you and your girl don’t make it to New York.” He told me on the phone a couple of weeks before we flew here that he wanted to propose to Aubrey in Central Park. I’ll be damned if the reason he doesn’t do that is me. The crease between his brows that used to be a permanent fixture but has disappeared in recent months is back with a vengeance. “I’m serious, Mav. I won’t be the reason you don’t get what you deserve. You’ve fought hard, don’t stumble at the last minute.”

  “Are you sure?” he asks, a doubtful and slightly guilty look on his face.

  “Don’t make me say it again,” I tell him sternly. A small smile cracks his hardened, typically good-looking Ryan face. Yes, I know we’re a bunch of good-lookin’ fellas, and no, I’m not ashamed to admit it. “Yeah, see, there we go.” I pinch his cheek, which immediately blushes. I smoosh my hand against his face and try to push him away, but only succeed in almost falling over myself. He grabs my forearm and steadies me.

  “Are you sure you don’t need help?”