Cheated Love

by Kris Buendía

  “Trust me, I'm about to, but it's late and you should rest…”

  “With you” And my hand touches his chest. Naked? Of course, that is the way I want him, and this is only a dream “I`m resting with you, again, but in my dreams. Do you think this is right?”

  “Lana, you better rest.”

  “We are adults, I know. It's not like we are going to make love now. I`ve never had a dream like this. “

  His chest trembles, and that`s tells me he is laughing. I smile too. Until I feel his kiss in my forehead. And that is when my heart starts to beat really loud. So loud that I`m afraid I want this as well.

  “Rest Dr. Taynor.”

  “You too Dr. Idiot.”

  I don`t know why, but I really want this dream to become true.

  ….

  My head is killing me and my body as well.

  It hurts really badly in fact.

  My alarm didn't go off. I`m not worried because I didn`t have any surgeries planned for today, and thank the king of cups that it was like that, because right now I can't even live with myself.

  The night before I'm sure I didn't sleep in my bed, but in my sofa. Unless I don`t remember things right. I didn't remember that it was this big. As big as a…

  “Bed” I get up scared and I see that I'm in a bed.

  That is not normal.

  A bed is normal, but not today.

  Because it's not my bed!

  Where the hell am I?

  My dress is on the side of the bed and there is a note. The night was crazy, but not too much as to wake up in another bed. I'm sure that Dixon left me at home last night.

  I take the note and read it.

  I loved spending the night with you in your dreams.

  You looked even cuter than normal and I couldn`t be mad at you anymore.

  You don't have to worry, the stitches in my hand have already been taken out this morning in the hospital. You can rest easy knowing that I won't lose my hand.

  I`m sorry I can`t be there to see your face when you realize that last night WASN'T a dream.

  I'll be back in four days.

  PS: you are at home, but if you decide to leave slam the door firmly, otherwise it won't close.

  Kisses,

  D.

  I turn the paper around and I see more writing.

  PS: Remember the broken glass at your apartment, be careful, be responsible.

  With my eyes wide open I look around and the memories of last night start hitting me in the face and chest.

  I`ve spend the night in his house. And not only that, everything I thought was a dream was actually true.

  I asked him to bring me here.

  I apologized.

  I got naked in his bed!

  “Fuuuuck!!!”

  It looks like the Suite in the Four Seasons or even more luxurious than that. As beautiful and comfortable as his bedroom is, I just want to run.

  And that is what I do.

  I grab my clothes and get out of the room. The walk of shame can't be worse than walking out from the empty apartment of the protagonist of the night, but truly there wasn't a protagonist, better even, a circus performer.

  When I get to my apartment I just think about his note. I read it and reread it and I can't believe that nothing happened again.

  I have to stop drinking.

  I have to stop asking him to sleep with me.

  I have to stay away from him and not get confused about the situation that I can't even describe.

  As the night comes I just want to forget about the music of the club, of the club, of the alcohol but not about my friends. That is why I decide to invite my friends to have dinner so we can formally break in the apartment.

  So, while we enjoy our food, my thoughts can only think about one thing. More than one thing.

  You need to tell him.

  “What are you talking about Agatha? “

  Moe and Agatha talk amongst themselves as if they were reading my silence and interpreting my body language. I'm anxious, thoughtful and nervous when they ask for the brave and handsome neighbor.

  “Lana, you have to tell him how you feel.”

  “I`m not going to tell him anything” I say no with my head “I don't feel anything. I don't want to or should.

  The three of them look at me like I just popped out a third eye in my face.

  “You need to face it” Dixon is the one advising me right now, more than advice it looks like an order that I`m getting from them” That is the only way you are going to get him out of your head. If he feels the same he will be lucky to have you and if not then you`d be the lucky one that got rid of him.

  My look of help that I give to the other two takes me nowhere. They completely agree with Dixon, and, I also do. I have to stop this weird situations and I have to face this situation that is driving me crazy once and for all.

  “Why me?” I laugh nervously as I ask “It some teenager shit, of a desperate teenager. “

  “Are you desperate?“ Dixon asks.

  “No, but I like Duncan, I`m not going to deny that I`ve liked him ever since I laid eyes on him and the way he behaves with me, but I can't stop thinking that he is just like me or worst in the fucked up scale. I don't want to be anybody's rebound and I don't want him to be mine. It's too soon to think of having something serious with somebody.”

  “Babe, the only one saying the “S” word is you. You better start thinking of another word with that letter.

  “Yes” Moe says” Sex.

  I roll my eyes and Dixon looks him with death in his eyes.

  “Single life. That is what I'm talking about and I think Agatha agrees with me. You have to think like a single woman. That you like somebody doesn't mean that you are going too fast. Fast would be if you wanted to marry him right away.”

  I think Duncan and I will never think of that word again.

  And that is fine by me.

  Besides I`m talking about a man that doesn't even know what he wants. What he definitely wants is to get me to bed.

  “Well, I guess we'll know in four days.”

  “Don`t worry, we are going to make sure that you don't get cold feet about your love declaration.”

  My friend mocks me. She knows me really well and knows that the easy way for me to get something that keeps me up at night.

  And it's not a declaration of love!

  “Have you heard anything from your asshole ex? “ Dixon asks concerned and the conversation takes a turn.

  One I forgot for a moment.

  “I haven't heard anything from him.”

  “It’s better for you to think that you are not alone. The son of a bitch will try and take advantage of it.”

  “He has no reason to” I reject spitefully “He must be with his lover right now, and whatever he does or doesn't do is not my problem.”

  We can all agree on that.

  But this next four days are going to feel like an eternity.

  In four days I will end this game I`m in and I will be myself.

  In four days I won't feel scared to be who I am.

  In four days I will see him again.

  In four days.

  CHAPTER

  TWELVE

  Four days.

  It's been four days and I have never felt this nervous as I feel today.

  The days at work and the meals with the guys have really helped. But what I`m afraid right now is about the strange text message I got from Gabe today.

  I need to know that you are alright.

  I've behaved like an idiot with you, I want to see and apologize.

  Gabe

  Apologize?

  As far as being an important and high class man, I am pretty sure that he doesn't know the meaning of that word. And the weirdest thing is that I don't care. I don't need his apology, nothing will justify what he did
. I won't answer his messages either nor will I return his calls. I hope that he doesn't know where I live, because honestly, the last thing I want right now is to see him.

  It's not the kind of drama I need right now.

  The anxiety takes the best of me, but I can't back down of what I have to do. I`ve been cleaning my apartment like a lunatic, I`ve also prepared and bought some dishes for about twenty people. I hope Duncan is hungry and maybe, he would want to see me. His humor in his note, which I still keep and have read again and again, I hope he still has it.

  I don't even have his phone number.

  What if he comes come with another woman?

  That would be totally normal. And even more so after not seeing each other for almost a week.

  I don't know at what time he is getting here.

  I think I'm being paranoid and desperate.

  I look at the mirror one last time. I didn't want to overdo my outfit. Thanks why I'm wearing some tight jeans and a black blouse that exaggerates the cleavage. At least I will hide it with my hair that I have been straining for hours. But let's face it, he doesn't need to be impressed. He already has enough with me regarding my drunkenness and me getting naked in his bed.

  As I wait for any kind of sign of him arriving home, the clock says it's six in the afternoon. As patient “barely” as I am I take a book, put on some music and sit down to read.

  Four days.

  A few more minutes won't kill me.

  …

  A noise outside in the hallway wakes me up. I don`t know for how long I was asleep after reading, I feel like it was an eternity, but when I look at the time it's barely been an hour. I get up from the sofa and I pick up the book that is on the floor. I go to the kitchen and the food is still hot.

  I'm starving.

  As I wash my hands and dry them, I hear the door next door closing even harder than usual.

  Duncan is back. Is he angry?

  I better find out myself. I get out of my apartment and go up to his door.

  I ring the doorbell and wait. Finally when the door opens, I face a really serious Duncan in front of me. He realizes that his face surprised me and tries to change the only face I know of him.

  “Hi, you are back.”

  Silly me, of course he is back.

  Duncan looks at me from head to toe and his nostrils open up in a desperate way. The man looks like the last thing he wanted was to see me. He tightens his fists and his jaw as well.

  “I think I`ve come in a bad time…you must be tired and I, well, I just wanted to invite you over for dinner, I've cooked, you know, food…to eat.”

  Oh my God, please shut up!

  Before going on with my big mouth and to try and avoid any more nonsense to get out of it, besides stupid things, I take a step back, trying to get away from him and avoid him any more discomfort. As I take the first step to go back to my apartment, Duncan take me by the arm and brings me close to him so he can kiss me.

  It's happening again!

  He is kissing me like it was the last drop of water in the desert. His hand in my waist makes want to be even closer to him. My hands in chest get stuck in the buttons of his shirt. Buttons that are on the way of me seeing his beautiful body.

  His breath is minty and it might just be the only thing I need to breath. I wouldn't care. His kisses are delicious and I don't feel a lewd desire from him as the first time, it feels like we've missed each other.

  And we have.

  I like his company and the way he speaks.

  We are out of breath, and that little betrayal makes him take his hand off of me and once again I feel the floor underneath my feet and also the reality of the show we are putting in the hallway of our apartment.

  “Hi” he whispers in my ear after kissing me “I`ve missed you. And about your invitation, yes, I do want food to eat.”

  I laugh at his mockery and he takes my hand to walk over to my apartment.

  “Are you sure you want to eat now? I can wait for you to rest for a while and to take a shower, you must be tired from your trip.”

  “Actually no, I had enough rest on the way here” he takes a break and looks to the sides “Do I smell bad?”

  “No, no way. It’s just that a shower might help you relax after a trip.”

  “You are right” he gets closer so as to kiss me again” in that case, I`ll be right back, it smells delicious in here…and I don't mean the food…to eat.

  I push him away playfully.

  “You have to stop saying that.”

  “You said it first babe.”

  Babe.

  I take the chance and put on the table. I feel more confident right now, I don't think a declaration is what's needed but to give meaning to this thing we are doing. That kiss has said it all.

  It's just dinner with him.

  My neighbor.

  The man I like and that I`ve just kissed.

  We can be friends or something more, I won`t be labeling anything because that would mean rushing things. We are just two adults that like each other, like our company and that are about to have dinner.

  When I finish putting on the table, the door opens and I see Duncan wearing a pair of old jeans and a white cotton T-shirt tightly fitted to his body.

  Definitely simple looks good on this man. Everything makes him look like he is about to be photographed for a man’s catalogue.

  He combs his wet hair and from where I stand I can smell his minty and manly scent.

  “You look good.”

  He smiles at me and looks at me as he did before, from head to toe like he likes what he sees.

  “You must give yourself some credit, you are not wearing a robe or a dress so that makes it difficult for me to contain myself.”

  That confuses me a bit.

  What does he mean by that?

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don`t get me wrong. When you were at the club I has to contain myself so as not to throw you over my shoulder and take you out of there. I don't like the way men look at you or what you provoke in some of them. You saw it the last time.”

  Of course. I don't even want to remember that. Thanks to him I`m safe. He has taken care of me twice. He has even protected me from myself.

  “I didn`t know you were this possessive.”

  “I`m not. Not yet.”

  Not yet? He is sure that this is going to go on. Whatever it is I like it. It is what it is. I feel like another person when I'm close to him. And I'm starting to like it.

  Duncan helps me sit down and then he sits close to me. He looks at all the food and I'm sure he is going to say something funny. But actually there is an explanation for all of this.

  “Are we expecting company?”

  “Of course not” His comment makes me smile because the only guests I could have would be my friends. And I don't think he is ready for that.

  “I didn't know what your favorite dish was so I made a bit of everything. But not desert. That one I bought, I have to admit.”

  Duncan looks at me puzzled. Something tells me nobody has made dinner for him before. Or at least a decent one.

  “You made all of this for me?”

  The question sounds like I just made the worst sin ever.

  “Yes, is there a problem? I know it's too much, the truth is I`ve never had the chance to cook for somebody that wasn't myself or my friends now that I live here. And you don't want to know their tastes. With beer and pizza they have more than enough.”

  Duncan sighs. Again that defiant look as he was forming a novel in his head. His seriousness doesn't bother me anymore or makes me uncomfortable, I feel like I know him a bit more each time. Such a small thing that makes such a big difference.

  “Your friends” He looks over and serves himself some shrimp and salad” the ones that were in the club with you?

  “Yes” I
go for the chicken and salad. At the rate we are going there`s going to be nothing left” They are doctors too. We studied together and now we work together in the same hospital and sometimes we are even in the same operating rooms.

  “That sounds fun. It's like having your own little family with you always.”

  “It is in fact. So how was your trip? What did you build this time?”

  “A museum” he says it as if it were the most normal thing in the world” In Germany.

  “A museum with skulls and that kinds of things?

  Duncan finds my question funny and says no with his head as he takes a zip of water. Yes, water. Alcohol and I are on a break.”

  “Museum for old works of art, paintings.”

  “Interesting. Do you enjoy art much?”

  “Not that kind of art.”

  “Not even nude paintings?”

  I regret asking that as soon as I see a mischievous look in his eyes as he looks back at me.

  “Do you have any of you? Because if you do I will take back what I just said and make you an offer.

  I choke a little bit and again a big and full laughter invades my apartment.

  “You are an idiot” I join him in laughter. It's just that I find art really amusing. I`m a doctor, and because of that, the human body has always been fascinating to me

  “I find your body really fascinating. It`s a pity that there isn't a painting of it. It would be the best work of art out of all.

  “Are you always like this?

  “Like what? “ He asks without realizing the things he says. They seem normal coming out of his mouth.

  “I can't find the right words, but I have some.

  “Tell them to me” he puts down his glass and waits for my answer.

  I accept his challenge and I stop eating for a second so as to answer his question.

  “You are pretty attractive, but you always seem to be holding a secret because of the lonely way you live. Your career is very impressive to others, but not to you. And that lack of filter, that arrogance of alpha male makes you look…”