by Kris Buendía
“Hot?” He finishes the sentence for me and I say no with my head.
“Desperate.”
As soon as I say that I realize I'm not that far off.
“I`m not desperate.”
“So then, are you like this with all the women that live in your floor?”
“In my floor, at work, some trips. Even in the street. I go after what I want, I told you that already.”
I know that my question led up to that stupid answer from him. But the truth is I don't like it. I don't like it at all in fact and I feel a bit jealous to know that he is a first class player.
“Lana” he touches my hand and I look at him” I'm playing with you. I`m not that kind of man. With you it's different. You practically asked me to be part of your life. Listening to you that night at the bar woke up an interest in me for you. I wanted to let you know that you deserved better than to be crying that night. And besides, I didn`t know you were my neighbor. I wasn't sure it was you.
“That night I didn't know it was you. In the elevator I barely got a good look at you the first time.
“But I saw you” he says it as if he were remembering that day.
I blush remembering that day as well. In my worst moment and my new beginning he appeared and made himself noticed and the only thing I wanted was to fly under the radar.
“Why is it different with me? We barely know each other.
Now he seems exasperated.
“People have the wrong idea that, if somebody is not part of your life for months or years you are strangers. We were married for a long time and at the end knowing each other wasn`t everything, in fact it was nothing. You need something more than to live with somebody for it to be authentic. You learn how to get to know people from the first day you are with them, you don't need time.”
“In that you are absolutely right.”
“You don't have to think too much, live your life like you want to.”
I guess that has worked for him. Because I can see he is happy with himself. Although, I do get his point. And he is right. It's the same thing the guys keep telling me about starting to live my life.
And that is what I'm doing. I`m not thinking too much right now. I'm living it and he understands as he continues to eat and sometimes he grazes my hand and gives me a flirty look.
“Dinner has been delicious” he gets up from his chair so as to give me a long kiss” I will help you clean up as soon as I come back, I have to go and get something from my apartment.
“Ok” He kisses me again and leaves.
Everything is going really well up to now. I'm realizing a lot of things and it's because when I'm with him I can be and show myself as I really am, without pretending and him not judging me. Sometimes he is harsh with what he says, but it's his personality. But at the end, he is right in what he says, but I still need to know more about him. I have opened myself up to him more than he has with me, I guess it's just a matter of time for him to learn he can trust me.
The music stops, and as I`m about to change it for the music he likes, I hear the doorbell ring.
I go up to the door smiling because I don't know what he is playing at, seeming all respectful by ringing the doorbell before coming in.
“Hey, the door is open…”
My stomach turns as I smell that scent again. My skin bristles and it is not something nice, my heart is pounding so loud it's starting to hurt.
I take a few steps back as he steps in, getting in my apartment and looking around. I don`t know why I`m waiting for some kind of approval from him, I lived a long time making the same mistakes and living in his shadow, loving him from that spot.
“Gabe, what are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? “ He imitates my voice and goes to the table” Are you with somebody? Don`t tell me, I`ll guess. You common friends?
“I will not let you speak about my friends that way, Gabe. What are you doing here? If I didn't answer your texts or calls is because I don't want anything to do with you.”
“But I do, baby.”
“I`m not your baby. To you I'm Lana, Lana Taynor.”
Gabe laughs his ass off in mockery as a result of my audacity.
“Like it or not, you are still my wife, so, I have all the right in the world to know about you and to see you.”
“See me? Right to? Let me get you out of your ignorance, Gabe Miller, that thing you call rights, you lost them the minute you decided that this marriage was a farce so you could maintain appearance as a respected Senate, add to that that you are a fucking cheater, should I go on? Who told you where I lived?”
It looks like he doesn't like a word I just said, I don't feel less than him, but still he has some kind of power over me because I don't hate him. I'm not dying to be in his arms either. I don't know what it is, and I don't want to know, I just don't want to feel anything from him, not even hate, or despite, or love, or anything.
“You look lovely, you never dresses like this for me.”
“Stop it Gabe. You better leave.”
He keeps quiet for a while and he looks over to the table again where he clearly sees that there are only two glasses with water. He has stopped smiling and he combs his hair, leaving it a mess. He always does that when he is angry. He has just realized that I have company and all hell is about to break loose.
“Don`t tell me that you have looked for a replacement. So soon? That is not very ladylike, baby.”
I can't believe it. He is really trying to be a real son of a bitch. And to call him a son of a bitch falls short.
“You can't look for a replacement for somebody you never had Gabe. Haven't you done enough? You keep trying to humiliate me.”
“It`s true, but I`m no fool. I`m sorry I thought the dinner in your table was for a man. It's too soon and besides, I don't think you are capable, you still love me, even though you try to deny it. Don`t you realize it, darling? You belong to me, you are still my wife, whether you like it or not. Nobody is going to notice you, you are a Miller. My wife.”
The door opens wider and Duncan walks in, ignoring Gabe completely. I don’t even get a second to compose myself from Gabe`s words and presence, when Duncan grabs me by the waist possessively and kisses me.
He kisses me and I kiss him as well because there is nothing better than his presence and this new beginning were he has come to save me from the biggest agony I have ever felt in my life. He kisses me even more once Gabe`s grunt is noticed. Does he still think I`m his woman? He should do something right then, but he doesn't. He is too much of a coward and I`m just a whim to him. Something that will change from now on.
Duncan and I painfully take a step back from each other. He takes my hand and forces me to look at Gabe. I'm sure I'm shaking, but it's because I don't know what Duncan and Gabe are capable of.
“Are you ok, baby? “ He asks “I'm sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the gift I bought you.”
Gift?
Gabe stays quiet and is almost fuming through his ears. I can see how pissed off he is.
“And you?” Duncan is taking to Gabe” Senator Miller, right? “ He doesn't wait for him to answer or to make a formal presentation” Do you still think that she is your woman? Your wife? Your property?
“And who the hell are you? “ Gabe asks.
“My name is the least of your concerns, what you have to know clearly is who I am to Lana…she is MY girlfriend.
“Girlfriend?” This rhetorical questions amuses him” Your girlfriend is still a married woman.
“I know a really good lawyer. Lana will get rid of you so fast that you will not even be able to remember the color of her eyes. Now, Lana might be condescending, but not me.
“Are you threatening me?” Gabe takes a step forward and Duncan takes one as well” You do know who you are taking to right?
“I know it perfectly. A cheater. The correct qu
estion would be: Do you know who you are talking to?”
Holly shit. They are going to kill each other.
“Stop it” I get in between them” Just leave Gabe. I hope that the next time I see you, will be to sign the divorce papers.
Gabe doesn't seem to be scared by Duncan`s threat. He looks relaxed and I think the nightmare is just getting started for me. Whatever it is, I won't let him hurt him.
As he is about to leave the apartment, he suddenly stops and looks at me.
“Your father called…”
“Don`t you dare bring my father into this!” I try to get closer and hit him, but Duncan takes me by the waist and doesn't let me.
Gabe laughs and closes the door behind him.
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
My father.
I can't let Gabe tell my father about this. Before he does and plays the victim card, it must be me who tells him the truth. But I'm still not ready. I must be strong first, so I can be strong for him.
“Lana” Duncan holds me while I cry. I have let myself drop to the cold floor, and in my head the last words from Gabe keep spinning.
“You better go”.
I move away from him a bit, as much as I can. He doesn't have to be here, he shouldn't have faced him. Now I look more pathetic than ever in Gabe's eyes. Another man has come to my defense. He is right, I`m the only one that looks bad in this situation. I'm a married woman that has given the green light to another man. To a man I don`t know.
“Are you joking? I'm not going to leave you alone.”
“I don`t need your pity, Duncan. I also don't need you to come to my defense in front of Gabe, the fact that he saw you makes everything worse.
What I`m telling him is pissing him off. And it's pissing me off as well, but I have to get away from him. He doesn't deserve to be in this circus, I've come to shake his world, invade his space and to get him into trouble. Gabe won`t stay quite. He will investigate him and he will do something about it.
He always does.
“The only thing I did was protect you from that asshole. What was he doing here anyways? He is dangerous, he could have physically hurt you”.
“Gabe has never hurt me, at least not physically. Anyways, I was handling it myself. I don't want you to get involved in my problems Duncan. It's the last thing you need”.
“What do you know? The fact that we have slept together two nights doesn`t make you know me, or give you the right to tell me what I need, what I should or shouldn't do.
He is really pissed off. This dinner has been a disaster and I hate myself for that. I was starting to be myself, to give myself the chance my friends thought I needed. Gabe`s arrival reminded me that I`m not a normal woman. That with people like Gabe in your life you can't start over. He will always be stoking me.
“I don't want to hurt you Duncan. I'm a married woman, it is a war between Gabe and I. I`m not going to get you involved in this”.
He says no with his head. Pissed and frustrated he walks in circles around my apartment. I`ve stopped crying, but I`m still hurting. I won't cry anymore in front of him. I`ve already made a fool of myself.
“Lana”…
“No! “ I scream at him and get his attention” I will not hurt you, I will not be the one to hurt you this time. All of this has been the strangest most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. But I couldn't forgive Gabe if he hurt you because of me.
“I`m not afraid of that asshole, something tells me that your ex” husband is not what he seems. It's not me who is in danger, it's you.
What is he talking about? Or better yet, how does he know? It's not like it`s engraved in his forehead. But I didn't think it was obvious to other people,
Gabe is a dangerous man. I always knew it, his business have made him like this. But he is not a mobster either.
“You don't know what you are talking about.
“Of course I do” he gets close as to face me and look me in the eye” You are scared of him. A man doesn't treat like that unless it's to protect his woman. But this isn`t that case either, because he has threatened you too. Do you remember what I said about not knowing people enough? I don't think that Gabe lied only about his marriage.
My head is going to explode. I have no idea what he is talking about. But nothing makes sense. His imagination will be the death of him.
“I think you better go”.
Without saying a word, he turns on his feet and leaves. I get startled when I hear him slamming the door of his apartment. I don't understand what the point was that he was trying to get to. Whatever he said it was in anger and I understand. Gabe seems to be a dangerous man, but it's because of his money. Everybody is powerful and dangerous when they are filthy rich, but that doesn't make them bad people. Gabe was a horrible husband, but he is not a bad person.
Or at least I think so.
I`m not going to cry. I better keep busy. So, I will clear up the table and I and my dessert will go to my bed together.
Mission failed.
Lana Taynor is wrong once again.
I'm starting to believe that I will never be happy if I stay connected with Gabe in anyway. The one that has to hire a great attorney is me. If I'm going to start from scratch, that's where I need to start.
As I'm about to finish throwing the leftover into the garbage, when I see a tiny black box over the kitchen isle. That's what Duncan went to look for in his apartment.
He told Gabe that it was a surprise for me, but I guess it was all part of his plan to make him jealous and mark his territory.
I better give that back.
I don’t think it`s a good idea. What a dilemma. Now a little box is making me question whether I should go to Duncan's place or not. I`m going to take his advice, and not think about it that much. I grab the box and I get out of my apartment.
Without hesitating I knock on the door, but it seems he doesn't want to answer. I ring the doorbell and knock on the door again. It's not working. My hand touches the door knob, I will get in and leave the box. He will never find out I was here.
I step inside tiptoeing and close the door very carefully without making a sound. But, as I start to turn around, it's already too late for my plan to work.
“Now you are going to sneak into my apartment trying to avoid me?”
Shit.
“You… You…are…”
“Naked, yes. It is my apartment, I can do whatever I want.”
Butt naked and proud he stands in front of me drinking a glass of water in the kitchen. He is loving every second of it. He steps out of the kitchen, crosses his arms and stops a few meters from me. I can see each muscle, every inch of his skin and, his perfectly hard member pointing towards me.
Is he turned on by my nervousness?
“I came...I came to give you this” I show him the box without looking at him “You've left it in my apartment.”
“Give it to me” He reaches out his hand towards me. “
“At least put some clothes on, Duncan. This is a bit uncomfortable.”
“When you get naked in my bed I don't see it as uncomfortable, in fact it is pretty hot that you do, I`m not in the mood for your games.”
I shrink and place the box near the door, but Duncan takes a few strides and reaches me, lifting me from the ground, taking me by my shoulders and holding me close.
I'm having trouble breathing and so is he. He is still mad, I'm still mad and nothing good can come out of this.
“I`m sorry” I don`t know what else to say “I'm sorry that you are mad.”
“If you are going to talk to me, at least have the decency to say it to my fucking face” he growls.”
So I do. I look him in the eye and my anger disappears. His lips are tempting me. But I can't do anything to make this man get away from me. I feel it's already too late.
“Let me go” I beg him. The hea
t from my body it's starting to blur my senses.
“You show up in my life without knocking or being called” His breath is burning my skin “You ask me to stay with you and to get into bed with you without knowing me, you let me kiss you and don't reject me, you invite me to have dinner without deserving it and you disappear for four days without a trace when I`ve needed your company the most” I close my eyes and relax my body “Are you sure that it's me who needs saving? Or is it you? Because I'm sure it`s neither of them, Lana Taynor. I`ve never wanted a woman like I want you, ever since you understood me and didn't judge me or others, even that son of a bitch that you are still married to.”
“I” I say no with my head but I don't know what to say” I...I want you too Duncan. But I'm scared. I'm scared that…
“Don`t think” He stops me “I`m not going to hurt you and believe me babe. I`ve been hurt a lot. Nothing can surprise me. I'm just going to ask two thing of you.”
Our eyes lock together. Those two requests I know won't be easy, but I`m willing to try. He is wrong. I`ve suffered too, I don`t know who has suffer most from the two of us. But what I do know is, that I feel alive when I'm with him. I can't run from that. Before, I had always been careful to always end up hurt and cheated. He has showed me who he is. My neighbor, an attractive man that wants me.
And I him.
“What are your requests?”
He caresses my waist and presses his manhood on my stomach. I moan within me and forget everything.
“Do not expect me to love you and I don't want you to love me either.
And that is not supposed to hurt?
“We will live one day at a time, but please, don't fall in love with me.”
“Why? “My voice is heavy “You deserve someone to love you. Do I not deserve somebody to love me like you?”
“You deserve more than that from me. But right now I can't give it to you and I know you can't either. You need to forget first.”